Fallen Knight
by pcalix
Summary: Lord Ainz's campaign of world domination continues, moving to the slow conquest of the southern regions of the New World. The Slane Theocracy and the Elf Kingdom are now on the list of targets but in the lands of the former, a simple town subjugation becomes something else entirely. Artwork by m o n o c h r o m e。. **Disclaimer: Contains unethical sexual preferences.**
1. DAMNATION

**SCENE I: TRANSCENDENCE**

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**CHAPTER I: DAMNATION**

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An armoured gauntlet slaps my helmet roughly, breaking my thoughts and dampening my enthusiasm with a loud smack of metal on metal. I turn my head to the right in shock and bewilderment, paling before the gaze of the silver-lion helm glaring back at me. In a grave voice and with a gaze that I've been unfortunate enough to be scrutinized with before, Sergeant Patrick snaps harshly, "This isn't a training exercise anymore so stop acting like it is."

"Yes, sergeant. Sorry, sergeant-" I stammer timidly but he immediately slaps my helmet again with similar force, retorting with irritation, "Focus on the surroundings and the forest's edge."

My head nods a few times as I try to do as ordered, my mind and body reorienting into a defensive stance as I draw my sword from my hip and my shield from my back. Curiosity gets the better of me, my eyes glancing at the sergeant but he was already turning away from me and giving out his commands loudly to the other. Each member emulates my posture as we were trained, our combined shields and stances forming a wall of steel to defend.

Even to my inexperienced eyes, the formation is shamefully sloppy. All of our training was forgotten in the face of an actual threat and the presence of fully trained warriors made our formation look even more foolish. A few laughs and mumbled slurs among the greater warriors emphasizes our inexperience but before I can distract myself with more idle thoughts, the loud voice of our commander booms from behind us. His words are clear and precise, cutting through all noises.

"Men of Irlo! Great evil will soon set upon your lands! Stand fast and protect your homes!" he shouts from nearby, the words invigorating me as I exhale from my nose in anticipation. Focusing becomes easier and every man in our squad is sharing the invigoration, armour clanking and swords drawn across metal in anticipation. The feeling wanes slightly when the wind picks up to strange levels, a gentle breeze becoming a stronger gale in a matter of seconds. Hesitation starts to set in but another voice from nearby cuts through the noise.

"Focus, boy!" the sergeant snaps at me while pushing my right shoulder with his armoured hand, my focus returning to the horizon and the tree-line beyond the grass fields. Though the tall trees offer no ominous intent, the sky above them quickly darkens with black clouds. The abnormal sight intensifies my unease and I start to feel a sense of wrongness and hostility spreading from the sight. My body starts shaking slightly from the odd feelings and the men around me start murmuring things that I can't hear. Even Sergeant Patrick, the most veteran among us, starts muttering a prayer of protection to himself. I'm scanning the treeline desperately for something reasonable to explain the rapid change in weather but nothing appears from among the trees.

Unnatural lightning spears down from the distant black clouds as if taunting us, bolts of white energy lighting up the darkening landscape with ominous flashes and booms. With every guardsman in Irlo watching, the lightning strikes slowly creep closer to town, the noise and brightness increasing with every spear of light. I have to partially close my eyes just to avoid the pain in my eyes, my ears starting to ring from the noise as the lightning crept closer.

"Stand ready, men of Irlo! Do not let these tricks scare you!" the commander shouts in defiance of the growing storm, his voice surprisingly clear and calm in the growing storm. I steel myself with a quick prayer of my own, stumbling over the words as I try to slow my rapid breathing. My heart is beating hard in my chest, making me embarrassed to call myself a trainee, let along a soldier.

The black clouds part rapidly and as they do, the unnatural dread and unease evaporate as if banished by the revealed sun. I breathe a shuddering sigh of relief to try and slow my heart down to normal levels, relaxing a fraction now that the storm is gone. Others around me try to do the same, doing their best to do as our leaders instruct and steel ourselves against the darkness.

We let our guard down and our moment of relief is broken by a single phrase, spoken with inhuman, ancient malice.

**Dragon Lightning!**

A white bolt of power lances out of the treeline, the lightning taking the form of an ancient beast and rushing towards us with incredible speed. I brace my shield out of instinct but the beast curves upwards and over the formation, flowing past the front ranks with a howl of energy. As I feel my hairs stand up, I turn quickly enough to see the bolt arc downwards and strikes our commander in the chest. Metal blessed and sanctified by high priests splits apart as if made of wood, a roar of pain and outrage escaping our strongest warrior as he convulses. Further screams from the town follow his cry as he crashes to the ground and at that moment, I learn what true fear feels like.

Despite the screaming townspeople, everything else is silent. I wait for a few moments in denial, not believing that our leader had been struck down so easily. Then the sound of clanking metal breaks my horror as one of the soldiers near him checks the body. He shouts that he's dead and backs away from the burnt corpse in a show of shock and denial that we all feel. A chill runs down my spine at having my fears confirmed but an armoured hand slaps my helmet again to get my attention, my focus moving to the direction of the slap in fearful bewilderment. Sergeant Patrick snaps at me with conviction, "Focus! The enemy has shown their hand but now they show their form!"

He points his sword at something towards the treeline and I follow the direction of the pointed blade, bracing my shield in panic and preparing myself as best I can. The panic slowly dissipates when all I see is a strange robed figure accompanied by a warrior in dark plated armour, both figures making no further moves to approach the town. My initial calm dissipates as the two forces view each other, details becoming more apparent as I'm allowed to analyze them in silence. The black-robed figure is far larger than any man I've ever met, their size at a distance towering over everyone I've met up close. A massive, golden staff with inlaid gemstones is held in one hand, the staff glowing with abnormal light that slowly fades away. What draws me the most, however, is their face concealed by a strange mask with unusual patterns and glowing red eyes, a visage that terrified me with its strangeness.

Though slightly smaller, the dark-plated warrior radiated threat with her discipline. The plate armour is that of a woman given the design yet the axe she holds is almost twice her size, held casually in her right hand as if it weighed nothing. Where her colleague did not indicate a threat, her stance gave off the clear message that she would harm us greatly given half the chance.

My entire body shakes with a new, bone-deep fear, my breathing sounding rough in my ears as my heart begins to race again. The sergeant snaps at me again and grabs my right shoulder, causing me to jump slightly in panicked surprise. His voice has lost some of its conviction when he shouts at me, "Calm your fear! Do not show such weakness in the face of the enemy!"

The rallying cry doesn't work on his squad, the sound of booted feet and dropping weapons the first indication of their flight. I turn around to see our squad start ranting and raving that death has come for them and that fleeing was their best option. My sense of duty is the only thing keeping me in place and against my survival instincts telling me to follow them, I turn stiffly back around to face the strange foes again. I glance around me to see if anyone else shares my urge to defend our people but find, to my growing horror, that only the sergeant is left standing with me. Turning around again in a panic, I see even the veterans retreating into town, hardened warriors forming a fighting retreat facing the foe instead of standing their ground. I don't know what to do and when I turn to the guiding force I rely on, his next words fill me with dread rather than direction.

"C..Calm...y..your...f..f..fear..." I hear the sergeant stutter lightly, the sound of his shaking voice is horrifying. I can hear his armour clanking from his body tremors, his sword is shaking in his grip. His helm keeps glancing between me and the opponents fervently and he stutters to me while pointing a shaking sword at the two figures, "Novice...go...go out there...and face that...that creature...I will...I'll be...be behind you..."

He suddenly shoves me forwards with his left arm, my armoured boots snagging on the ground and making me fall onto my shield. I drop my sword in panic, fear choking my mind and making it difficult to rise quickly. It takes me several attempts to right myself, my body shaking uncontrollably and feeling incredibly weak from the fear. When I'm finally standing upright and shaking in place, I look around me to see the sergeant running to town without grace or discipline, his sword and shield discarded behind him as he follows the others in retreat. The sight of him abandoning me unnerved me more than anything else I've seen today, the second strongest man I know fleeing in terror instead of fighting for his people or his home.

Panic rises when I remember what I'm facing, my body spinning around and raising a shaking shield to defend myself. The two figures are closer this time, both of them over me at such proximity. My left hand tightens on a missing sword and my shield arm shakes violently in mounting terror from the sight of such evil this close.

**"Arm yourself," **the being rumbles in a deep voice no man could have, their skeletal hand pointing at me in challenge. My fear paralyzes me on the spot, my body shaking as the figure stares at me for long moments with an outstretched hand. In the same rumbling voice, he repeats his demand a second time as if I didn't hear him, his hand gesturing to the ground in front of me. I snap my head down and see what he's pointing at, ungracefully diving to the ground and scrabbling for the weapon he pointed at. The metal that once felt strong and offered comfort feels flimsy and weak, my grip tightening around the hilt more out of fear than surety. My armoured boots slip again as I try to stand up, my entire being fearful that any moment, their patience will run out. The fear of being killed on the spot only made my attempts more futile, the choking fear making even moving a struggle.

I finally manage to go upright with a weapon in hand, the tallest figure gesturing for me to approach with the same skeletal hand. My right-hand drops my sword in numb shock and I reach for the rosaries around my neck, closing my eyes and squeezing them desperately to try and control my growing fear and dread. An odd sensation of warmth flows from the symbol and I feel my breathing slow, strange power blotting out the choking fear as I mouth a silent prayer of thanks for the divine assistance. Opening my eyes, the two figures are gazing at me curiously but I no longer feel terrified of them as before. I swiftly reach down and grasp my sword, moving into a defensive stance with as much surety as I can manage.

"Who are you!? What do you want!?" I shout at the figures in defiance, bracing my shield in front of me and watching for any sign of attack. The figure in robes looks at his companion, both of them holding each other's gazes in silent conversation before coming to a decision. Tense seconds pass by but the armoured warrior steps away from the robed figure, keeping her focus on me but giving her colleague room.

**"Come and face me," **the robed figure intones powerfully with outstretched arms, their staff disappearing from their other hand as they offer no defence of their body. Seeing a moment of weakness, I charge at them recklessly with a roar of anger, dragging my sword behind me and bracing my shield in front to defend against the counter-attacks they might attempt. They remain motionless as I approach and I swing my sword around in an arc aimed for their neck, a rush of savage joy dumping into me when I see the blade impact their robes. I put all on my strength into the blow, cutting through the strange material and slashing the bones of their neck.

I laugh hysterically at having struck the monster at all but the sword eventually stops, the beings bones strong and resisting the steel. My triumph quickly turns into fear as the figure uses the skeletal fingers of their right hand to move the blade away with irresistible force. My grip on the sword slackens and the robed figure plucks it from the hand and tosses it aside gently. Their other hand snaps forward and grasps the rosaries from under my armour, their movement so quick that I don't even register that he moved.

**"Greater Break Item," **the figure states ominously and with his words alone, the rosaries in his hands become fine dust that flows into my armour. Pure horror replaces the fear, the item I thought indestructible destroyed in an instant. My left-hand grasps with futility at where the item used to be, finding only dust and grime where it once was.

"What...how...how did you..." I stutter as I back away from the being slowly but the same hand that destroyed the item casually reaches forward and grasps my armour collar, his grip holding me in place as I try to back away. I feel my shield drop from my arm as a sense of futility takes hold, my fear choking out all other considerations as he lifts me off the ground slowly. The shaking returns, paralyzing me in his grip as he stares at me with something akin to curiosity.

**"Detect Magic,"** the figure intones as the mask's eyes glow bright crimson, the sight maintaining my paralysis and making my heart race faster. But as he holds me in place, something heavy slams into my back, metal sundering and flesh tearing as I'm cut open. Wetness flows out of my sundered armour, a gasp of surprise escaping me as the robed figure releases his grip. My body flops back first onto the ground and becomes heavier, my breathing more rapid and irregular as my heart hammers in my chest.

**"Albedo," **the robed figure states to someone else, my head barely able to turn to the left as my body grows colder and harder to move. The dark plated woman is standing over me with her axe raised but with a simple affirmation, she lowers the raised axe in her hand and returns it to its idle position. My vision starts to fade away but I can still see the robed figure crouch down and offer me something. Though the blurriness of my vision makes it harder to see, I can still see the glowing crimson eyes set in a strange mask, the offered hand holding a diamond-shaped vial.

**"Drink this and you will live. You must reach it first, however, and if you live, you will be my eternal servant. Make your choice,"** they intone, my breathing becoming more ragged by the second as I try to focus on anything but the pain. Something wet crosses my lips as I cough painfully, wetness running down my chin as my body starts to spasm slightly.

My right-hand tries to reach forward, the arm shaking violently as I put all of the energy I have left into the action. The robed figure says their companion's name again, looking up at them before focusing back on me. My breathing sounds loud in my ears and everything continues to fade as I try to reach the vile. All I manage to accomplish is tapping the tips of my fingers against the glass before the pain becomes too much and my arm slumps to my side.

**"That is a shame," **the robed figure intones as he places the vial back into his robe and raises the hand in front of me. A black flame appears on their index finger as they tell me the fire will be painless. The promise of no physical pain made the fear worse, my body wanting to flee but no limbs responding to the thoughts. Words of cold certainty follow the robed figure's proclamation, spoken down at me by their ally without dispute or compassion. "Just submit, worthless human. You should've made better use of your time."

The black fire envelops the hand in front of me and slowly moves closer to my helmet, my body still trying to flee despite the futility. The helmet around my face turns black, hard metal blowing away as if made of leaves. I try to shout one last time as the black flame touches my skin but I don't have the energy, my eyes closing so that I don't have to see my demise. My heartbeat starts to slow and my hearing fades completely, a sense of ease filling me that the figure spoke the truth when he said there would be no pain. That small comfort made the moment less dreadful and helped my last thoughts be more comforting.

_This is the end..._

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My heart starts beating again and when I open my eyes to a world of black emptiness, the memory of being burnt alive by unnatural fire is still fresh in my mind. At first, I think I've been blinded but when I look down, I see the damaged armour coating my body. I undo the side straps on the chest plate, letting the sundered metal fall to the ground. The plating disappears into the blackness and in the silence, I say to myself, "Am...I dead?"

**"You will be my eternal servant...and somehow, you have lived," **a familiar voice intones from all around me, my body shaking in fearful recognition of the voice. I snap my head around to find the source of the voice but the blackness all around me reveals nothing and the voice chuckles at my actions. The sheer power of their deep mirth terrifies me and I start to glance around me for a weapon or the damaged armour.

**"You will not die yet. You have shown me your potential and I will give you this chance to live. We will see, however, if you will live beyond this moment," **the voice intones powerfully, my head still snapping around desperately to find the source of the voice or something to defend myself with. As if conjured by my panic, the robed figure appears out of the blackness, standing grandly in front of me as if they had always been there. Crimson eyes bore into mine and I feel dread grip me into paralysis, my body shaking as the figure explains my fate with a hint of grim amusement.

**"You now belong to the Great Tomb of Nazarick and Ainz Ooal Gown...but please...just call me Ainz..."**

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My eyes snap open as I scream in bewilderment, my left hand reaching for a sword on my hip that isn't there. My left arm swings anyways as if I found a weapon but as the arm completes the arc, I start to glance around the room rapidly in confusion. The swift movements spawn sharp pain along my back and shoulders, my eyes closing as I groan of agony. I try to focus past the pain, listening to the sound of wind and animals filtering in from somewhere as a means to distract myself. Though I'm curious about the noises, an uncomfortable cough forces something out of my throat and feel my heart beating too quickly. My body starts shaking uncontrollably as I try to will the suffering to end to no avail.

"It's about time you got up!" a strange voice shouts from nearby, my eyes snapping open again and my body jumping slightly from the sudden change in noise. Despite the pain and the shivering, I try to find the source of the noise, glancing around fervently but finding nothing in my line of sight. I start to think that I'm delirious from pain, my mind focusing back on the pain unwarranted as I close my eyes again.

"Do you humans _ever_ look up?" the voice states but I'm too disoriented to make full sense of their words this time, my eyes opening again but vision unfocused and blurry. A thump rings against the ground nearby and something touches the skin of my right shoulder, a wave of warmth flowing from the point of contact into my body. The shaking and pain subside as I gasp in surprise, my vision clearing as I snap my head to the right. A dark-skinned child comes into view, their wide grin confusing and intimidating. Their left hand is on my shoulder but when I try to move the hand away, my arms feel numb and fall to my side.

"To be honest, I expected you to be dead from that wound on your back. Albedo was very sure that she severed your spine with her axe yet...you're in good health! That's not something I'd expect from a worthless human!" the child explains excitedly, giggling as I recoil slightly when they lean over me. Her mismatching green and blue eyes and the strange smiles she has on her face put me on edge and every instinct that's working is telling me to flee.

Up close, the child is smaller than me yet they project an aura of authority underneath the carefree smile. Their hand reaches forward and moves me into a sitting position, a loud groan of pain flowing through my teeth as another jolt of pain lances through me. Fingers touch my back with pokes and prods, making the pain worse with each moment of their curiosity. I don't know how long the child tests the wounds on my back and chest but it feels like an eternity.

"Not much scarring! Lord Ainz was right! You're special to survive Albedo's wrath!...but that's Lord Ainz for you!" the strange child shouts happily but my face fills with apprehension at the mention of the two names. Memories of the previous events are dislodged and made known despite the pain. I start to piece together the previous events, remembering the futile attack on the robed figure and how I was cut open with a heavy blow. I remembered being burned alive by unnatural fire and the proclamation in a black abyss that I was now enslaved.

"Why the long face!? Serving Lord Ainz is the greatest joy anyone can have!" the elf shouts as they slap me on the back, another groan of pain escaping me as I feel my wounds sting again. I turn to the child angrily but the anger only makes her smile wider as if my pain amuses her. Her right arm reaches forward to grab my left hand and I follow the movement with my eyes, my body tensing when she shows me my left arm. My shock causes them to tilt their head in curiosity and move the index finger of her other hand slowly along the dull brown scales coating the back of my hand. They trace them up towards my shoulder as I follow their movement in mute horror. In a strange whisper, they tell me, "Between you and me? I don't think you can qualify as human anymore-"

"What is-" I try to say while turning to them but I stop myself, my eyes blinking as strange colours and images appear around the child for a moment. I have to close my eyes again to cope with the sudden feeling of dizziness, a hand moving to the left side of my face and tapping the skin near my eye. The child's tone shifts from excited to something akin to soothing, my body laying down on its own as I start to feel disoriented again. They say to me in a soothing whisper, "Relax, will you? Your heart can't take this much abuse right now. Go back to sleep."

A small part of me tries to refute their words and stay awake but her words prove true. A bone-deep tired settles over me and the urge to fight fades rapidly. I let my hands get placed at my sides and have blankets move over me by a child. While I start to doze off, they hum a strange song that I don't recognize and whisper one last thing into my right ear before I fall asleep.

"Welcome to the Great Tomb of Nazarick by the way."


	2. SURVIVAL

**CHAPTER II: SURVIVAL**

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When I finally wake after an unknown amount of time, the child from before was there. She gave me her name, Aura Bella Fiora, and told me that her task was to keep me alive. For an unknown amount of time, I either laid in bed or moved around in the small wooden cabin I found myself in. My body was slowly healing from the damage done to it and I used the time I had to familiarize myself with my new surroundings. The wooden cabin was very nice by any standards, the bed, walls and furnishings made by skilled hands to resemble the natural growths of a tree. All the windows were sealed by wooden shutters that I was allowed to peer out of every so often, the fleeting glances outside not what I was expecting.

A beautiful forest of unknown origin grew all around the cabin, tall trees and clear skies in harmony with each other. Animals of all shapes and sizes came and went without hindrance and as much as I knew I wasn't allowed to, I wanted to go outside and explore this new place. Aura was more excited than angry that I wanted to go outside, telling me that I would get the opportunity if all went well. It was a comforting and scary thought.

She called the forest the 6th Floor Jungle but quickly changed topics on me as if the information was boring to her. It surprised her that the axe blow to my back, clearly meant to sever my spine and kill me instantly, had done neither of the tasks. I was told that the burns on my body were light only because Lord Ainz had held back, giving those who saw my demise the illusion that I had died. Aura's rationale was that the damage was part of Lord Ainz's plan so that no one would come for me. The idea of being a captive with no rescue or escape was frightening, creating a confusing mix of fear and wonder that stayed with me.

Despite my fear and suspicion, Aura tended to my basic needs for food and water with a bright smile and too much enthusiasm. What she provided seemed extravagant to say the least, the fresh meats and pieces of bread she offered a quality I've never experienced in my lifetime. The water and juices tasted pure and more refreshing than anything I've ever drunk. I started to feel spoiled in such a place but even with the fine food and drink, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease fully. I asked her if I was dead and if all this was just an odd dream in death but she grinned in reply and kept reminding me not to think about death or dying. I grew to appreciate that although she looked like a child, the way she acted, dressed, and spoke was very mature and intelligent. _Everything here is unbelievable...yet it exists._

Time went on and I kept recovering from my injuries. It gave me time to come to terms with the strange brown scales on the left side of my body. They grew across the back of my left hand to my left shoulder, travelling along half of my neck, back, and face. As I healed further, the scales kept growing day by day until they covered my entire left arm and the left part of my chest. The skin that wasn't changed combined with the scales to make a seamless transition, a melding of the inhuman and human that made me uneasy to look upon. Aura had shown me my reflection in the mirror on several occasions during the growth, my left eye slowly going from a plain brown to an amber colour. The iris changed into a reptilian slit to mismatch the opposite eye in an effective show of abnormality, the gaze feeling hateful despite my facial expressions.

Lord Ainz visited the wooden cabin once I had healed enough, admitting that my survival had not been part of his plan at all. His formidable presence still frightened me but the aura of dread and power was not as potent a second time. Lord Ainz explained that, because of my survival, I was more use alive than dead so he took me back to his domain instead. Thankfully, his visits were brief but every time he visited, I felt like anything I thought I knew was wrong.

Emotionally, I felt sad all the time because Aura was right about the scales. Seeing dull brown across half of my body provided immutable evidence of my inhumanity. I couldn't stomach returning to Irlo anyways because the people would likely discover what I've become and be easily frightened by the monster in their midst. I sadly accepted that I was now a prisoner of Nazarick, changed into some kind of monster and severed from everything I once knew. Grim humour came after enough time of sadness, helping blot out some of the misery. _I never really had much of a connection with where I lived anyways._

All hopes of escape vanished as I fell into depression. Aura helped me out of my slump by offering me a chance to go outside but in my mixed state of mind, I refused her offer without thinking. I asked her, instead, how the changes had happened and if it was reversible but Aura didn't know nor did she have any inclination to turn me back. I hadn't been in Nazarick long enough to warrant either time nor effort into my condition and she insisted that I rest and heal as best I can, something that I was getting sick of but had no choice in the matter.

A few days later, the time came to meet other members of Lord Ainz's court.

* * *

"So you're the human...you aren't what I expected at all...don't you find that exciting?" the strange being states to me with an odd smile on their face, their right hand adjusting their glasses as they stare at me with curious eyes. I don't know what to say to the tall, devious being so I don't answer, nodding my head numbly as I lay in bed. I'm looking them over as they move the bedsheets from my body, my mind finding their red garments strange and noting the ominous metal tail trailing behind them.

"I'd say human is not the term for you now," they state to me gently, their right hand lifting my left arm and turning it over curiously. I follow his gaze but break eye contact to glance at the other occupants of the room. Lord Ainz is standing in silence a few steps away flanked by Aura and another being, both staring at me with similar curiosity. The figure had announced themself as Lady Albedo when our gazes meet, her elegant figure far different outside of her armour. A white gown of fine cloth covers her ample frame and small, black wings sprout from her lower back, completely out of place among her natural beauty. Yet beautiful is a rough term given her unsettling smile that lacked genuine emotions or her unnatural yellow eyes with slit irises staring with cold calculation. Aura looks the same as she did before, smiling broadly with enthusiasm and wearing her usual white suit. Now that I can do a comparison, her garb felt more utility-oriented than her counterparts, close-fitting material, leather gloves, and leather shoes finely made but emphasizing function instead of fashion.

Before I can get a glance at Lord Ainz again and do a further comparison, my head is gently turned to face my new viewer, their smiling face still making me uneasy as they turn my head to view it at many angles. He releases my face when he finds what he's looking for and comments with a sigh, "You know, my colleagues here haven't even asked your name in the time you've been here and let me tell you, that's rather rude-"

"Hey! I was told to keep him alive, not socialize!" Aura snaps abruptly behind him, the smile on the strange being's face becoming more genuine as they half turn their head towards Aura. Glancing at the group once more, watching Albedo and Lord Ainz turn their heads to Aura in curiosity who mouths a quick apology for speaking out of turn. Both of her comrades simply nod before turning their attention back on me.

"...as I was saying, what is your name?" the being states to me smoothly in a calm and clear voice, my brain taking a moment to remember even small details given the strangeness of the situation. When I don't respond immediately, he takes a small step back and bows lightly in apology, telling me to take my time in remembering. His manner is reassuring and despite my apprehension, I feel compelled to do as he asks.

"My name...it's...it was...Beric...Beric Lowarm..." I'm able to say nervously, the figure nodding and placing his right hand on his chin in contemplation. He spares a looks behind him at Lord Ainz and Albedo and they exchange a glance, Lord Ainz nodding at him in silent communication. When he turns back, he retraces his steps towards me and offers me his left hand, the same unsettling smile crossing his face as he does so. In a clear and commanding voice, he states, "My name is Demiurge, defensive combat leader and ambassador of Nazarick and guardian of the 7th floor. It's so nice to meet a new face."

The titles and names confuse me and I stare at his hand for a moment, not sure what to do but feeling that I need to act in some way. I reach forward gingerly with my right hand and take his hand, his hand closing gently around mine as he starts to chuckle to himself. The handshake he gives me feels genuine but still confusing and he moves his other hand over both sets of hands, shaking them lightly in amusement. The excitement in his voice is apparent when he says, "Good, good! You haven't paralyzed from fear! Some beings in your position would be unable to function but, interestingly, you can function slightly!"

He taps the top of my hand a few times with his right hand, nodding to himself before releasing it. He sounds uneasily enthusiastic about everything as he comments with further enthusiasm, "Now that I know you have some of your mental faculties, we have so much to do! So many tests and trials lined up! I don't think you yet realize the opportunity you've been given but let me inform you now that you're being given a once in a lifetime chance!"

I couldn't miss the undertones in his words under the positivity. There's still a great chance that I could be killed in the days to come is what he hinted at. Worse, any life I had is truly gone and my mind starts to spin with too many thoughts and questions that had no answers. Demiurge turns away and walks towards a wall, his right-hand gesturing in the same way Aura does sometimes. A portal of dark magic appears and as the strange being leaves slowly with a nod, his tail swishing behind him, he says aloud behind him, "I do hope you survive the initial trials to come. There is so much we can learn from you."

The portal dissipates after he steps through and Lord Ainz moves forward once he leaves. Albedo and Aura are in step with him and all three fix me in a gaze of curiosity and apprehension. It feels unnerving to have them all staring at me for so long and standing so close in silence but there's nothing I can do to prevent it. Lord Ainz finds what he's looking for first because he's the first to speak.

**"I trust Demiurge on this judgment. He will proceed with our analysis of you, Beric,"** Lord Ainz states in a powerful voice, my body tensing at the intensity of his words. Up close and with me laying in bed, he's much taller than I remember and projects an aura of wisdom and authority that frightens me more than his physique. A demigod was how I saw Lord Ainz but, unexpectedly, he raises his hands in surrender and takes a step back cautiously. Both Albedo and Aura are confused by his actions, turning to watch him take a step back as he replies to me, **"I did not mean to frighten you. My presence still intimidates you greatly. Rest assured that I am not going to harm you again unless it is warranted. You need not fear me."**

The words make me more confused than comforted but the fear I feel is quickly replaced with questions that I wanted answers to. One such question springs to my lips before I can stop myself because it's something that had been on my mind since I first woke up.

"What happened to my comrades? The guardsmen of Irlo? How many of them are left?" I splutter to Lord Ainz, shrinking in fear again when I see Albedo move from a smile to a neutral expression. One simple change on her face makes her appear far too hostile but Lord Ainz raises a hand, halting his servant for a moment. She bows in reply and backs away so that she's in step with him, Lord Ainz not breaking eye contact with me the entire time. His next words are exact and precise, lacking all compassion despite what they meant.

**"As we entered the town, many of them went mad and turned on their own. It is understandable to be driven to such extremes in my presence but it was still sad to see such things nonetheless. We saved many of your people but your...comrades...could not be saved. The only mercy I could give them was a swift death." **

I want to dispute the words that the guardsman of Irlo are cowards and madmen but after seeing what he's speaking of firsthand, I nod my head grimly in acceptance. Conflicting emotions fill me, the joy of being alive mixed with the sorrow for fallen allies now turned mad. Anger rises at how easily they had fallen to darkness but Lord Ainz doesn't seem to notice or empathize. He keeps speaking regardless of how I feel inside, saying in the same commanding tone, **"We do not know why you became this hybrid and I must ask you a question to get a better understanding. That relic around your neck, the one I destroyed. What was it?" **

"A family heirloom...it was meant to protect me from outside influences...and in the worst of times...but you destroyed it as if it was a cheap trinket..." I say with sadness as I lower my head, remembering how easily he defeated me. Lord Ainz brings something into my field of vision and when I look up, I can't quite believe what he has. My mind reels at the impossibility of it but I couldn't help but believe the evidence of my eyes.

**"Rosaries of Protection. I know of this item and have had it restored for you," **he states simply, his hand moving closer so that I can reach the item he destroyed. In desperation, I snatch the item from his hand and place it around my neck awkwardly, ignoring the soreness that still lingered in my body and allowing my right hand to grasp the item fervently. I suddenly feel a sense of calm and serenity overcome me, my breathing sounding light as I let the sensation of peace wash over me. I close my eyes and let my mind drift for a moment, allowing the ancient relic to wash away doubts and fear. When I open my eyes, my first instinct is to lift my left arm, the relief apparent on my face when I find that the scales are gone.

Aura lifts my left arm and turns it over a few times, her other hand lifting the item around my neck as she states in confusion, "That isn't normal. These are supposed to protect you from outside influences...unless your body was affected by...I don't get it..."

Lord Ainz steps forward and removes the item from my neck, taking a step back and watching me intently. My focus is on the relic he holds and as I watch, the item disappear from his hand in a puff of smoke. Panic is my first response until I feel something around my neck, reaching down tentatively with my left hand and pulling the rosaries forward to see. Aura looks between Lord Ainz's hand and mine, confusion written on her face before she turns away and shakes her head in frustration.

Lord Ainz is staring at me, the eyes of his mask glowing red and his voice taking on a serious tone. **"Soul binding. Besides those in Nazarick and a few outsiders, such a practice is rare in this world. This specific item covers something of your nature and it is this something we will figure out in time-" **

"I don't understand..." I mumble to myself, not quite listening to his words as I remove the rosaries from my neck. I emulate his example and toss the rosaries lightly across the room, watching as they disappear mid-flight in a puff of smoke. My left hand is already moving back to my neck and finds the item returned, my face becoming uncertain and grim. In a hollow voice, I say aloud, "These never did this before...I always got in trouble for leaving them at home...and these...bodily changes..."

Aura starts chuckling to herself, drawing the attention of the room for a brief moment. However, Lord Ainz turns his attention back to me swiftly but his tone lacks some of its conviction. **"Soul binding is a common practice among us and your...changes...only occurred when the heirloom was first unbound when I destroyed it."**

Aura turns back towards me abruptly and laughs aloud, my confusion clear as I try to understand what's so funny. She places a hand on my head and scratches my brown hair in an odd display of comforting and despite my protests to move my head away, her comforting works far too well. I feel myself wanting to sleep, laying down without thinking and closing my eyes as she says to me, "So underneath the human facade, you're like us. I guess that's fine."

Though my eyes are closed, I still feel awake enough to think. It was strange that Lord Ainz allows his servants to interject with their thoughts while he's talking, something that no leader I've served under ever allowed. I don't say anything about it because I'm doing my best to resist the urge to sleep from Aura's comforting. Before my will erodes too much, Lord Ainz coughs to get the rooms attention, the sensation of comfort leaving as swiftly as it started. My eyes snap open to view Lord Ainz once again, his voice serious but with a hint of amusement and humour. **"Aura. It is time to see what Beric is capable of. Proceed with his testing at your leisure."**

Aura removes her hand from my head and turns away to kneel on one knee before Lord Ainz, bowing her head and saying that his command will be done. Lord Ainz nods in reply and moves away from us, a simple hand gesture opening a portal of magic for him to step through. Albedo follows behind him, her eyes giving me one last glance of calculation and malice before the portal swallows her as well. Aura becomes suddenly animated after the portal closes, her body springing upwards and her right arm punching the air in a show of triumph as she shouts, "Yes! I always wanted a pet humanoid!"

Her behaviour up to this point is put into context with her outburst and I find the idea of being her pet disturbing. She turns to me and snatches my shoulders with both hands, pulling me out of bed without effort and moving me into a sitting position on the floor. I had never seen her full strength in use before and seeing it now is terrifying.

"There are a couple of ground rules I need to make clear," she states in a serious tone as she lets go of my shoulders and adjusts my head so that I'm looking at her. All elements of previous humour are lost now, her gaze sternly judging my responses as she lectures, "One. You will refer to me as Aura. I don't do fancy titles like the others. Two. You belong to me so you need to learn that I run things. Three. You will obey the beings of Nazarick without question with Lord Ainz's commands overwriting all other orders. Questions?"

I open my mouth to ask a question but she holds up a hand swiftly, my mouth closing in response. Such a swift reaction is followed by her usual smiling grin, all evidence of seriousness lost in an instant. She leans forward and pats my head a few times before turning towards the door and shouting for someone to come in. Without minimal delay, the door opens slowly and another of her allies enters the room quickly but timidly.

I'm not prepared for who walks in.


	3. CLARITY

**CHAPTER III: CLARITY**

* * *

The being looks identical to Aura in size and appearance but with slight variations. Where Aura wears a close-fitting white suit, this being has an odd form of vest and skirt that emphasizes their legs. Their ears point downwards and their eyes, the same mismatching blue and green, were opposites of Aura's eyes. There's no mistaking the resemblance and as the other being walks near enough, Aura moves her right arm over his shoulders and brings them closer to me. Her finger points at each of us in turn as she speaks.

"Mare, this is Beric. Beric, this is Mare. He's my twin brother and you'll have to listen to both of us," she exclaims with a grin, Mare squirming out of her grip and trying to walk away as she finishes her statement. Aura scoffs at his cowardly reaction and catches him before he gets too far by seizing his shoulders.

"Mare, he's harmless! Get back here!" she growls in frustration as she turns him around and moves him back towards me, holding him in place as he tries to resist. Mare almost manages to break her hold again, such is his squirming, but Aura decides to squeeze his shoulders and growl in frustration at him. These simple actions stall his resistance for a moment but it's unmistakable that he doesn't want to be near me.

Mare's eyes and mine meet in his attempts to escape and for some reason, he stops in his squirming for a moment. We stare at each other with similar levels of unease and there's a surprising amount of familiarity in our situations. Mare can't keep eye contact with me for long, however, and looks at Aura who's still holding him in place. Her frustrated reply is to growl at him and tells him to be brave. He turns back to me and tries to say something a few times, stumbling over the words before forming something coherent on the third attempt.

"He..hello...Beric...I...I'm...Aura-" he stutters while turning back to Aura but she growls in frustration again, gesturing with her head back towards me. Mare does as he's told, turning back to me with unease and saying slowly, "I'm...I'm Mare...it's...nice to...meet you..."

The words hang in the air for a moment, both of us staring at each other awkwardly but eventually breaking eye contact simultaneously when it becomes too awkward. Aura is watching us intently and snaps at me to do introductions as well, my eyes moving back up so that I can make eye contact. My words are just as stumbling when I reply, "And I'm Beric...as Aura...your...sister?...just said...it's nice to meet you, Mare-"

"I have to deal with two of you!? I'm starting to regret this!" Aura shouts as she lets go of Mare with a huff of frustration, a louder groan of frustration escaping her as she walks briskly towards the cabin door. She stops a few steps away and turns towards us sharply, yelling at both of us to come along with a look of growing frustration.

Mare and I snap to obey as Aura opens the door and summons a portal in the opening, Aura and Mare dashing swiftly through the magical rift without hesitation. Unease fills me since this is the first time I've had to use one but after seeing Aura and Mare enter without fear, I try to emulate their example. I keep my pace even as I move towards the purple energy wall with my right hand extended. Fingers touch the energy, my flesh feeling an uncomfortable tingling sensation from touching the magic but I keep stepping forward despite my unease. My arm fully submerges into the energy as I slowly step forward, the portal sucking me into its depths lightly.

I close my eyes and keep walking forward, hoping that the sensations would subside.

* * *

I open my eyes to a new location, the pleasant wooden cabin replaced with a torch-lit, stone room. Empty metal racks are lined up in rows like an armoury before I notice my two masters staring at me from nearby. Aura turns away and casually strolls down the hallway of metal cracks while Mare hastily does the same, leaving me to follow in their wake. Aura's hands are behind her back as she strolls, her head glancing at the empty racks as if looking for something.

Her hands extend slowly outwards towards the racks, strange circles and squares of green energy forming above them. The sound of banging metal is loud and sudden, my first reaction to stop and crouch down to avoid whatever is happening. Weapons of all shapes and sizes fall from the energy onto the racks, populating the room with a forest of weapons and armour. There was no rhyme or reason to their arrangement, greatswords and hammers piled next to daggers and armour pieces of metal and leather with no visible order to link them all. With another gesture, Aura extends her hand towards a nearby sword, the implement flying into her hand hilt first. She doesn't slow as she inspects the sword, a few seconds of glancing enough of an inspection before she shrugs to herself and tosses the weapon back lazily towards the racks. The item disappears from the air in a puff of green smoke, reappearing back at its original position. Aura gestures with her left hand for me to get up and follow and I do as commanded, rising quickly and moving after them.

"I'm trying to figure out what gear suits you...given you have no actual combat experience," Aura shouts behind her with enthusiasm, a few items floating around her as she walks. I start to walk faster as she does the same, hard-pressed to follow her brisque walk without running. At the end of the room is a group of training dummies and with a flick of her right hand towards the dummies, the items fling themselves towards one of them. Each item disappears in the same puff of some, reappearing on the dummy in the correct areas.

"This should do for now until you grow stronger. Put these on," she commands while stepping aside with arms crossed. Mare, who had been lagging slightly, speeds up so that he's standing to the right side of the dummy, turning to stare at me with a look of wonder. It's a frightening sight to have them both staring at me because their eyes glow in the dim light, Aura's enthusiasm and Mare's neutrality making their gazes more unnerving. I pause a moment in front of the strange leather armour and metal weapons presented to me, the armour looking oddly familiar yet unknown. Hearing Aura groan in frustration lightly, my right hand deftly picks up the leather helmet and places it on my head, my left hand unbuckling the chin strap as my right-hand places it on my head.

The fit of the helmet has the right amount of snugness to keep it on my head without pain. There's enough padding inside to make the helmet very comfortable to wear. I find myself quietly amazed at the craftsmanship because nothing I've worn in my life felt this exceptional. Aura grins wider when she notices the appreciation I don't hide but my hands are already reaching forward to take the leather cuirass off the dummy.

"You probably realized it by now but everything in Nazarick is better quality than you're used to. You'll just have to get over it," she states with relish, the words arrogant but with a tempered hint of fact. I nod my head as I undo the straps on the armour and pull them off the dummy, slipping the cuirass over my body and not as surprised this time that the fit is of the same quality as the helmet. Though I want to take my time and look over the craftsmanship, I obey what Aura's silent urging to hurry up and try to suspend my wonder for now.

There aren't any pants on the dummy so I slip on the leather gloves and boots provided instead, both pairs of covering slipping onto hands and feet with minimal effort. It feels abnormal to wear boots without laces and I tap the toes and heels against the ground just to see if they'd fall off. The gloves also feel tougher than they should be and I open and close my hand to test their dexterity, the denseness of the material feeling flexible where it shouldn't be.

The simple heater shield is removed from the rack for me, Aura quickly changing sides with Mare and strapping the shield to my right arm with a few quick movements. Mare takes the long sword from the dummy's other hand and places it in my left hand, both of them stepping away to look at me in full equipment. I look among them with a satisfied smile, enthusiastic but still confused as they both nod at me and step behind me. I try to turn around to follow their movements but their hands point my body straight ahead.

"Time to get you into combat!" Aura states rapidly as I feel my skin tingle, a hiss and a boom sounding loud in my ears as I find myself in a new location instantly. I'm already moving into a combat stance, bracing my shield in front of me and hold my sword at the ready as I look around at this new environment. The calm armoury is now a large sandpit with stone walls extending shockingly high. The edges of the pit combine with the walls to form a large circle that I'm in the centre of, armed and alone with my movements sounding too loud to be real. The strangest detail, out of everything else, is that there's no obvious light source, the entire area around me visible and bright despite no sources of light.

My gaze is drawn to the upper levels after observing the lower areas and it takes little time to find Aura and Mare staring down at me with their glowing, mismatching eyes. Aura makes a gesture with her right hand and I hear a snap in the air, my body already tensing as something lands audibly behind me. I barely have enough time to raise my shield to defend when a sword swings down at me, metal ringing against metal from an impact deflected. Years of training in Irlo kick in and my long sword is already swinging in a swift arc towards the assailants exposed head before I even know what it is. My weapon slices neatly into green skin and hard skull, passing through both with ease before exiting in a spray of black blood. The creature crumples to the ground, leaving a pool of dark blood spreading from their sundered head as I hear Aura shout from above, "Whoa! That was decent reaction speed!"

I don't have time to process what I've just done or what she said because more of the creatures appear around me from the air, the same squares and circles of magic spitting out green-skinned bodies wielding a variety of weapons and armour. They all rush at me at once but I brace my shield and rush forward towards the ones directly in front of me, slamming into them shield first at full speed. A roar of outrage follows the creature I collide with as it tumbles to the ground and I turn swiftly on the spot to try and keep all of the creatures in my field of vision. To my horror, they had predicted my move and kept pace, moving to surround me again even as I understand their intent.

Something hits me on the back and I swing my sword in an arc around me, trying to hit any assailants nearby but feeling sword blade hit nothing. The attackers spring forward as soon as the arc finishes, blades and blunt weapons striking my shield and sword while other weapons impact and stab at my exposed areas.

I use the opportunity to attack before their attacks are complete, pulling back my sword arm just enough to let the creatures locking my sword fall past me. The move is sudden since they tumble forward, my sword reversing its movement to slash across their exposed back as they become unbalanced. More flesh and bone parts sickeningly with sprays of blood and a yowl of pain emphasize the carnage.

I thrust my blade into the chest of the creature attacking my shield, whatever crude armour they're wearing offering no resistance. More flesh is torn, leaving a large hole in their chest that they clutch in pain when I rip the sword back. I ignore the wounded foe and twirl on the spot with my sword arm outwards, the wild swing catching two of the creatures behind me with shallow scrapes on their leather armour and missing the third entirely. My shield arm is already rising for any counterattacks as the creatures back off, their bodies tense as they look hatefully at me with snarls and hisses. Only then do I get a good look at what I face, strange creatures with green skin that are a little shorter than a man. Strange teeth protruding from their lower lips and from what stories I've been told and pictures I've seen, I recognize the creatures to be goblins. They were dark monsters of nightmares, but like many of Irlo, I had never met one in the flesh.

The moment of apprehension and analysis only aided their efforts. The creatures spring at me while I'm distracted, weapons aiming for exposed spots on my head and forcing me to bring up my shield rapidly to block the blows. As I hear the weapons impact and I feel the creatures try to break my guard with brute strength, I start to wonder how strong they are and act on this impulse. I push my shield arm into their weapons and am surprised when I'm able to move their weapons away from me, my sword already capitalizing on the moment and thrusting forward into the stomach of the creature directly in front of me.

Their leather armour gives way to the flesh beneath and the creature's innards become skewered, the sword sundering everything in its path but getting caught on the number of materials cut through. A solid yank unsticks the sword but this, too, is a moment used against me. The two remaining opponents ignore their pained comrade and strike at my arms with their weapons. I'm able to raise my shield to block the clumsy blows and the impact on my weapon arm is easy to avoid.

The creature in front of me crumples to the ground from its stomach wound and I swing my sword in a rapid arc at the remaining opponents. The first creature is hit in the neck, the blade slicing through meat and bone before exiting on another arc of black blood. The swing has enough momentum to slice into the second creature, another neck sliced through cleanly with as much ease as the first. More black blood sprays and everything separated by the sword falls to the ground in its many pieces, forming a carpet of blood and cut flesh around me.

The threat passed and I'm alone again. Only then, with the beheaded bodies around me and dark blood pooling on the ground, do I finally have time to take in what I had just done. Horror dons on me at the savagery I had displayed to these creatures with so little provocation, my mind warring with itself on what the right course of action should've been. They had tried to attack me but they stood no chance against me in a fight so the brutal slaughter I had done to them struck me as wrong. There wasn't an alternative to fighting but I hadn't tried to look for one either. _They're monsters...savages...why do I feel empathy for them?_

Pain strikes like a brutal retort to my thoughts. Something slashes through my back armour and cuts into my flesh, a roar of outrage and pain my reply as I swing around violently to dislodge the attacker on my back. Whatever it is, it's clinging to me with desperation and continues to slice the wound wider with each second. I place my sword against my back and slash away from me, the sword finding flesh to part as it completes its reckless arc. An inhuman gurgle follows and the weight on my back releases its hold, dropping to the ground with a light thud. My sword drops from my hand so I can reach back and rip the blade still stuck in my flesh, another roar of pain escaping me as I toss the bloody weapon aside. My breathing increases as I round angrily on my assailant, pain and anger flooding my system as I loom over the assailant.

A goblin is bleeding heavily from the wound from their groin to their left shoulder. They stare up at me with obvious fear while clutching the wound in both hands. There is no hesitation as I stomp towards the wounded creature and raise my foot over its head, bringing it down as hard as I can without a second thought. It has enough time to cry out in desperation before the solid impact of my booted foot breaks meat and skull, a sickening crunch signalling its untimely death and an end to its struggle.

In my haze of rage and pain, I keep stomping the creatures head even after it's well and truly dead.


	4. EPIPHANY

**CHAPTER IV: EPIPHANY**

* * *

I'm forced to fight fought onwards without respite, Aura sounding amused every time she sends wave after wave of monsters to harm me. A host of creatures, human and inhuman, kept appeared from all angles around me and despite my urges otherwise, I was forced to kill everything within reach. Each wave defeated only brought stronger groups of enemies after them, victory bringing more pain than relief. I did whatever I could to survive the onslaught from stealing weapons, using brute strength, and thinking quickly to keep myself alive. The armour I was gifted eventually gave out and the shield was split in two by a massive hammer blow. The last thing I used the shield for was to jam the sharpened edges leftover into whoever I could, long shards of metal lodged and twisted into the first opponent that got too close.

My body felt healthier and quicker with each kill yet not without a cost. I felt like I was getting stronger and faster but there was still great blood loss and great physical damage. I learned quickly that wayward thoughts created openings for the ones trying to harm me and in response, I started to act on instinct and muscle memory instead of thought. The repetitive motions of slaughter became more and more familiar as my thoughts became more and more distant, the simplicity of killing both appalling and satisfying at the same time.

But the focus on killing didn't help either. I started to slow from the wounds and instinctively, I knew that there was only one way this could end if the tide didn't relent. Even though I faced a high chance that I would die on these sands, I smiled a rueful smile as I kept fighting to defy such a fate. Eventually, the combat itself became meaningless because what I believed didn't matter now.

If I wanted to live, they all had to die.

* * *

**"Enough," **a powerful voice commands over the din of combat, the voice pausing me for a moment of confusion. The foes in front of me disappear mid-swing, the dual weapons in my hands swinging at a foe that's no longer there. I'm left breathing hard in an empty sandpit, looking around frantically for more enemies to appear but finding even the bodies and blood vanished. The weapons fall numbly from my hands as my body relaxes painfully, my head drooping in exhaustion as I try to stay upright but fail. Even exhausted and slowly falling to my knees, I feel like someone is watching my movements and look around slowly for the source of the unease.

Lord Ainz is high above on the stone ramparts with many others, all of them staring down at me with different levels of curiosity. Among the ones I recognize, new members of his court are with him but I can't see them clearly because of the strange cloud of darkness surrounding them. Lord Ainz extends his right hand towards me and points, his ancient voice chanting a spell in a language I don't understand. A jolt of agony passes through me and pushes me to my hands, a groan of outrage and pain followed a sickening slurping sound from nearby. What agony from combat I feel is replaced with greater pain, bone-deep and invasive to a degree that I couldn't understand. The open cuts and disfigurements on my exposed skin start to close on their own, the healing process shaking me to my core from whatever magic is being invoked. I start to whimper and panic slightly when I see the final violation of my skin, my left arm regrowing the dull brown scales back into place.

**"You are one with the earth. It nourishes and heals you. Take note of this as we proceed," **Lord Ainz states in a distant voice, the pain subsiding slowly as I watch the scales grow across my skin rapidly. I rise unsteadily to my feet but his words have put me on the defensive, my body already tensing for more conflict to occur around me. I only relax when Lord Ainz chuckles and continues to speak as if I'm acting foolish instead of cautious. **"You will be allowed to rest now and there are many questions that we want answers to. Those here want to know what you are right now and we will reward your compliance-"**

"This one has potential...if he can control it," one of the figures grates slowly in a clipped and disciplined tone. I look up to try and figure out who just spoke but I can't tell from those present. Another of the figures laughs lightly after the comment, a young girl with pale skin in a black and red gown stepping from the shadows as if it was a curtain. Her laughter is cruel and high pitched, her words gloating and just as cruel. "You saw what he did to his opponents, did you not? He lost himself in combat so easily and showed such brutality to his enemies. What use is a servant who loses their mind in combat?"

Another being turns to them and steps from their shadows, clearly Albedo given the eyes, and turns their gaze on the one that spoke. In reply, the young girl turns to Albedo in confrontation but Lord Ainz raises his hands to halt both of them. They don't obey immediately, still staring at each other with hostility but eventually obey his command with curt bows. All eyes turn back to me once more and I feel dread at being examined by so many.

Demiurge steps out of the shadows as well and adjusts his glasses, coughing lightly to get everyone's attention before speaking. His focus stays on me as he speaks, his voice more polite and curt then his comrades. "This one represents a unique opportunity for us to learn about the New World and we can't deny that he may prove useful given proper guidance. I will take personal responsibility for any education he needs...with your permission, Lord Ainz."

**"You have my permission but keep an eye on him nonetheless. He is still an unknown element," **Lord Ainz commands swiftly, Demiurge turning to bow at the waist to his master before righting himself and turning back to me. There's no mistaking the sickening interest he now displays with his wide smile and inquisitive gaze, his attention transforming from comforting to predatory in an instant.

Aura and Mare dash from the shadows and leap down into the pit of sand. The shock wave from their landing is larger than expected, throwing up a large cloud of dust. Aura is first up, dashing to me with a speed that I can barely follow. Suddenly, she's moving behind me and hits me on the lower back, my body falling to a knee in shocked surprise. When I look up back up, the others observing me are leaving through their portals of magic.

"You didn't die and you didn't try to escape! I call that a good first impression!" Aura exclaims as she runs back in front of my face and nods her head enthusiastically. Mare joins her but looks more curious then excited, one of his hands touching my left cheek in a childlike way. His hand brushes the scales coating my face, something I find awkward and try to avoid by moving my face away. I try to say something but Aura immediately places a finger on my lips and shushes me, her left hand tapping my right shoulder a few times in an oddly comforting way.

Exhaustion hits me like a physical blow, my body feeling tired beyond belief and my vision blurring in seconds. I feel my body become heavier and numb, my equilibrium shifting abnormally as I start to lose my balance. I'm unsure if I'm falling or remaining upright but the next thing I know, I'm lying face down on something soft. I don't remember closing my eyes and all I can manage is unsteady breathing. Something brushes my back lightly and I'm not sure if the whispered words are real or not.

"Just sleep...you have a big day tomorrow..."

* * *

I'm unable to move when I wake up, a wave of soreness numbing what limbs I can feel. I don't remember where I am or how I got here and as much as I try to remember, I only draw incoherent thoughts. For an unknown amount of time, I'm left idling and waiting for my limbs to function, my fingers and toes stinging when I move them and transferring that pain up my arms and legs.

"Are you...alive?" a voice says from nearby, my brain unable to pinpoint who the voice is or from where. I'm not even sure anyone spoke but I manage a pained groan to answer. The unexpected reply is someone gingerly grabbing my right shoulder and flipping me onto my back, the light playing on my eyelids hurting momentarily. Curiosity makes me open my eyes despite the pain but my vision is still out of focus, my eyes glancing to the right and seeing only blurry images. The image clears enough so I can see Mare leaning over me and poking my right cheek with his index finger. I blink in surprise at his strange gesture and as I start to rise with a grimace of discomfort, he returns to his original position standing next to the bed. My voice sounds harsh and dry when I croak to him, "What...what happened...where-"

"You finished your test and passed out. You're back home," Mare replies smoothly, his words spoken with confidence. I'm confused at his response and by how he's untroubled by my presence and is making direct eye contact. But he quickly breaks contact and continues working on whatever is on the small table next to us.

"If you still feel tired, you can rest further. There's no rush to go anywhere and I brought you breakfast," he states as he reaches in front of him and grabs a tray of something, the surprise still on my face when he offers the tray to me. Meat, cheese, and fruit are neatly prepared and ready to consume on the tray but when I reach for the tray, my arms are vibrating from the exertion and I'm forced to simply lie down again. I feel hungry and the smell the food is extremely tempting but when I try to move again, I can barely manage it.

"Do you remember anything from yesterday?" he asks while leaning over me, his hand offering me the meat and cheese wrapped in bread from the tray. I didn't even see him move to prepare anything and memories start to trickle in but are jumbled and incoherent. My left-hand moves to my head to try and soothe the throbbing pain on the side of my head, making my thoughts hurt and my reply coloured by pain. "I remember...fighting...so much fighting...and all the blood and bodies...what did I do-"

"You tore through forty-eight opponents in the span of a few hours. It was a gruesome sight to watch," Mare replies curtly while offering me the food again but I'm only half-listening, my eyes opening as I start to breathe in gasps. My body starts shaking uncontrollably and both arms hold my chest to try and control the sudden shaking. Mare leans back and looks away, saying with cold certainty, "That's called shock. You just remembered a traumatic experience. Try and remain calm-"

"That was...my first actual battle...I mean..." I choke out through the shaking, nausea trying to take hold as I try to control my bodily functions. A hand gently pushes me back into a laying position, Mare placing the blankets back over me calmly. Their simple act makes the shaking slow down and helps my breathing slow to manageable levels. My right arm is moved away from my chest gently and out from under the blanket, Mare opening the hand and placing a wooden cup into it. He closes my fingers as he instructs, "Drink this. You'll be in less shock when your bodily needs are met."

I do as he says, rising from the bed enough to drink the water slowly and try not to spill it. My efforts are in vain because my arm is shaking intensely, a fair amount of the water ending up on my chin and the blanket. Mare seems to anticipate the problem and starts wiping down the wet spots on my face and blanket with a cloth while his other hand offers me the food again. I gently take the food and devour it with little finesse, Mare saying in the same calm voice, "The first combat experience is always the worst but you'll get used to it. You'll be called to fight on more occasions. We all do."

"I killed all those people...what have I done..." I croak with food in my mouth even as I try to force myself to swallow. I move my left arm out from under the blanket and notice, with dread, that the dull brown scales remained like a skin disease. The strange melding of scales and skin stretches on my chest, my hand running over the scales and feeling the texture of leather. My right hand instinctively reaches for the artefact around my neck but find nothing there.

"Don't beat yourself up about it too much! I doubt any of the opponents in the arena would give you this much empathy," another voice interjects, a gloved finger tapping my nose from the left. My body jolts painfully in surprise as I angle myself to the left and exhale in stunned relief at the sight of Aura grinning at me. I couldn't fathom how long she had been there and she chuckles at my confusion, her left hand turning my head back towards Mare. I still felt hungry so I take his next serving of food he offers without question and devouring it in similar savagery to the first meal. Aura still sounds amused as she states, "Go on! He's not the type to poison your food or have ulterior motives! He's trying to help!"

Aura mentioning such things doesn't reassure me, putting me on edge slightly. Fortunately, I'm too busy with hunger and fear to let such things dissuade me. Mare is staring at me passively as I eat as if measuring me and Aura starts running her hand along the scaled side of my body. Her touch made me incredibly uncomfortable given the slowness and tenderness but thanks to the hunger and pain still override such discomfort, I put little thought into the gesture.

"You can't deny what you are, Beric...I know it's a big change..." Aura whispers with empathy but her words don't help my state of mind much. I quickly swallow the food left in my mouth and feel my left hand tighten slightly, scales stretching and tensing as the urge to lash out starts to take hold. I throttle the emotion down before it can form, realizing that such thoughts are a pain-induced or a trauma-induced reaction. I'm not able to tell which.

"What even..._am_ I?" I ask the two beings in a shaking voice, my left hand relaxing as I take more food offered by Mare. This time, I'm able to be civil and eat the meal slowly, enjoying the strange blend of sweet and savoury flavours as Mare shrug in reply to my question. Aura turns my head to the left and comments seriously to me, "That's for Demiurge to figure out. We're just your masters."

At the mention of Demiurge, a wall of dark energy appears on a nearby wall and the figure of conversation comes walking out of it, stopping mid-step into the room with a look of embarrassment. All eyes turn to him as he glances between everyone and smiles awkwardly, saying with amusement, "Oh...is this a bad time? Does he require further rest? Has he not eaten enough yet-"

"We're getting to that! We'll send him to you when he's ready!" Aura snaps at him, Demiurge bowing rapidly at the waist in apology before returning through the portal he came through. I resume eating the food in my hand once the portal closes, Aura giving a growl of frustration that evolves into a chuckle before saying to me, "Demiurge is just excited to learn what you are and it makes him impatient. I agree with him...a little. You're something unique, for better or for worse, and we need to figure out which."

"He doesn't know," Mare interjects, his left hand producing a silver hand mirror from somewhere that he holds up to my face. At first, I don't see what he means, the dull brown scales coating the left side my face and the mismatching eye nothing new to me. Then he moves the mirror further to my right, showing me first normal skin than the horizontal, pointed right ear where a normal ear once was. My brown eye that I once recognized looked sharper and more focused than I ever knew. The mirror shifts to the left, showing me the other ear that mirrors my right ear. I'm rendered speechless by something so odd but Mare decides to say something when I remain silent. "The change happened while you slept. You didn't have anything like this yesterday."

"What does this mean?" I ask him cautiously, my right hand moving up and stroking the long right ear but stopping when it feels too strange to continue. Mare does the same to my ear once I stop, my head turning away from the odd sensation. He doesn't desist and Aura has to interject by grabbing Mare's hand and moving it away from me, ordering me to finish the food he prepared. As I'm doing as she commands, her next statement is ominous and brings up feelings of dread that I had felt during combat.

"It means you were given to us for a reason."


	5. DURESS

**CHAPTER V: DURESS**

* * *

Once I finish the meals provided, Aura and Mare pull me out of bed by my arms and shove me into the nearest dark portal they summon to some unknown location. Aura tells me to have a safe trip as I pass through but I remain apprehensive when I enter another new environment against my will. I'm already scanning my surroundings for signs of danger as soon as I enter, the small library or study feeling cosy but dangerous. The wooden shelves are packed with more books than I can count, some of them spilling into piles on the floor. Wooden tables are piled with papers and other strange items of unknown significance. Then I freeze in place when I notice Demiurge sitting at one of the tables, his head snapping up to look at me with a wide smile on his face.

"Excellent! Just the being I wanted to see! Come have a seat across from me," he says far too enthusiastically, his left hand gesturing aggressively towards a chair on the other side of the table he's at. I move at a cautious pace to the seat he gestures to, sliding the wooden chair out lightly and sitting down slowly. I'm not even in the seat fully when Demiurge adds, "This is an exciting time for us both! It's been a while since I had a new mystery to solve for Nazarick!"

"I-" I start to say but Demiurge isn't done talking for both of us, his words quickly cutting off mine as he rises from his seat and starts pacing around the room. "And what a mystery! I never would have _imagined_ something like this would come out of the blue! The offspring of a supreme being, right here among us-"

"What...does that mean?" I cut in slowly, Demiurge stopping in his pacing long enough to look at me in embarrassment. He retraces his steps and retakes his seat across from me, placing his elbows on the table and locking his hands together before speaking. "It means you are born of greatness, of beings _not _of Nazarick. You are _living_ evidence that we are not the only great ones brought here to this New World. That, in itself, is extraordinary."

"New...world?" I ask him in confusion, Demiurge chuckling to himself and leaning back to a sitting position while unlocking his hands and placing them on the table. He looks away from me for a second with a sigh before looking back at me, the gesture seeming dismissive and arrogant. His tone remains excited but develops a hint of interrogation. "There is much you don't know about this world but then again, you've never left that town of yours in your entire life. Is that correct?"

I'm not sure how to respond so I nod slowly, Demiurge leaning forward and moving his face closer to me. I'm unsure why the gesture makes me so uncomfortable but he notices my discomfort and leans back with a chuckle. He tries to sound more soothing when he comments, "Ah, I forget. People believe in personal space and I'm violating yours. Apologies."

"What am I?" I ask him with desperation, the need for answers overwriting my urge to stay calm and listen. Demiurge doesn't reply, his smile growing on his face as his right-hand touches the air strangely and grasps something. A ball of light appears but transforms into an object and though it's an impressive sight, fear is what I feel when I see him holding a device with some strange liquid in it. The entire time he creates this object, he keeps eye contact with me, adding in a low voice, "Do you want to know?...and what will you pay to learn?"

I try to stand but I'm stopped by his words, Demiurge rising slowly from his seat and deftly reversing the object in his right hand. The liquid dribbles out of the sharp end of his device but he doesn't point the sharp end at me, his hands at his sides as he rounds the table and reaches me quickly. The object comes forward for me to see, his hand opening to display the crimson liquid inside. His voice becomes silken with promise as he tells me, "We can help you understand many things but there is always a price...we will ask for your loyalty and service to Nazarick in return...you will belong to us forever with no way of discharging you and in exchange, you will be rewarded for your compliance."

All I do is stare at the object for long moments, remembering when Lord Ainz had offered me something similar when I opposed him. I had accepted out of desperation and fear instead of actual loyalty but now, I'm being offered another choice under different circumstances. I gulp fearfully before asking in a shaking voice, "What...what will Nazarick ask me to do?"

Demiurge continues to smile as if expecting this question, his answer knowing and spoken softly. "Whatever Nazarick needs you to do...within limits, of course...I cannot say more except that it's in your best interest to side with us...but let me ask you this as well...do you believe you belong in this world given your...predicament?"

I look away from him for a moment and stare straight ahead, mulling over his words and trying to figure out what to do. He, in turn, stands very still and waits patiently for an answer. To me, there wasn't much of a choice at all and the fear of what would happen if I said no takes hold. But before I can make a choice, he continues his thoughts.

"I realize this is a big decision. Do you need more time to consider?" Demiurge interjects with a hint of disappointment, my head slowly turning towards him to make eye contact. I can't tell if he's deceiving me or not since I barely know him yet but it feels like he's doing things for my good. I sigh lightly as I come to a decision and try to remain calm as I relay him my thoughts.

"Do what you need to..." I say in resignation, looking straight ahead and sighing again in anxiety and grudging acceptance. Something sharp jabs into the right side of my head, the pain excruciating but lasting only moments before subsiding. The inside of my skull starts to feel hot and strange colours start to appear on the edge of my vision, my eyes blinking rapidly to try and make the colours go away. I rise to my feet unbidden, Demiurge chuckling lightly as the tables and chairs around me slide away on their own. The strange images on the edges of my vision start to become shapes, my eyes trying to focus on the shapes while my brain tries to figure out what's happening. Demiurge intrudes on my panic by stating clearly, "What do you see?"

"I see...shapes... colours...I don't know-" I reply in confusion but Demiurge proceeds with the same question spoken more forcefully. I look over at him in confusion, the colours dancing and forming patterns around him. A blue, transparent box forms around his body, white lines swimming around inside the box to become a language that I can read. When it finishes forming, I read aloud, "Demiurge...ArchDevil...7th Floor Guardian..."

"Good! Now listen carefully! Close your eyes and focus on the image of yourself," he commands as he chuckles of triumph, my eyes closing as I comply with his commands. The shapes and colours start to form into a pattern behind my eyelids, the transparent boxes forming around a figure slowly coming into focus. I don't recognize the figure at first but given some time with the half-scaled humanoid creature behind my eyelids, there's no mistaking the rough resemblance. It's frightening to see myself this way and I don't want to believe this feral creature is me but the characteristics and proportions are too accurate for me to deny. Demiurge once again asks me what I see but I feel compelled not to say, dreading the words and what they mean for me. YethHe persists despite my discomfort, asking in a nicer tone and adding that it's for my good to tell me what I see. My mouth becomes dry as I try to force the words out.

"Beric Lowarm...Half Dragon-Elf...Servant of Nazarick..." I say slowly, my eyes opening in an attempt to deny the idea by destroying the image behind my eyelids. A strange feeling of energy builds up around me, golden light appearing around my feet and making my clothing and hair rise slightly. I look down to see a circle of golden light on the ground, looking up in disbelief as Demiurge keeps smiling at me.

"A half-dragon, specifically a dragon of the earth. A strong and resilient breed with knowledge of the land," he states to me, my body moving on its own at his words. My left foot stomps the ground, causing it to shake and making a loud bang that resonates around the room. My left arm swings a fist upwards, the dull brown scales clicking together as they grow, expand, diminish and retract. The sight of my left arm squirming and shifting is frightening to feel, my body shaking slightly but unable to move under my will. Demiurge isn't done yet, however, his voice clear and calm despite the scene he created.

"An elf born of the woods. An agile and crafty race with knowledge of the wilds," he states boldly, my body once again moving on its own. I spin on my right leg in place, the spin moving from my right foot to my right hand fluidly as I'm moved vertically to a handstand. The swift movement makes me nauseous but I quickly end up back on my feet, crouching down with my right hand braced against the ground. I try to move again but my limbs still won't respond to my will, the strange ritual taking away my freedom.

The golden circle fades and I feel control return to my limbs, my body rising upwards as I take a fearful step back from Demiurge. He, in turn, stays in place, nodding his head once with the same smile and tapping the right side of his head with a finger. "If you're curious what I just did, I injected a serum into your brain to stimulate the growth of certain parts that were underdeveloped. Supreme beings are meant to have these simple abilities at birth but in your case, you did not. I am unsure if this is accidental or intentional but it's fixed."

"No...this can't be true...I'm not...I grew up in Irlo...I was born there...none of this..." I state to him in growing shock, Demiurge sighing and shaking his head at my words. I try to avoid focusing on the strange images in my vision but as seconds pass, the images grow more refined and readily available. The right side of my vision changes into the image of a human form, displaying the abomination that I am more clearly. A strange bar of red with a blue bar underneath appears on top of this form, both bars full and glowing with an odd light. The images fade away over time, my eyes blinking a few times in confusion and my head shaking in denial still. "This is wrong...this is all wrong...I'm not...this-"

"You were lied to as a child, Beric," Demiurge says as he tries to approach, every step he takes mirrored by a back step from me. He stops after three steps forward, sighing to himself and gesturing with his left hand towards the air. A transparent, blue box appears where his hand is, his fingers manipulating it for an unknown purpose. Something pushes into me from behind, my body landing in a wooden chair as it moves me closer to Demiurge who keeps gesturing with his right hand on the blue screen. Another chair appears behind him and he sits down on it expertly, both chairs sliding into position at a wooden table that slides in from the side. I'm still confused as he puts his elbows on the table and locks his hands together, his voice soothing as he whispers to me, "I know this is a lot to take in...a fake childhood...a fake upbringing...unknown origins...and now this new being you've become...I can't imagine what it's like to go through this."

"My mother...back in Irlo...she told me stories..." I whisper to myself, Demiurge nodding his head and sighing sadly as he sits back in his seat and places his hands on the table. I do the same, looking down at my mismatching hands with a mix of shock and disgust. I clench both hands, feeling the differences between both hands.

"I can understand why you believe your past so fervently. Your very being is rewritten by someone else because that someone made you this way for some purpose... likely to hide you from something or someone...but that's just a theory right now, "Demiurge says enthusiastically, the words emphasizing how much my life is fake and that I'm being manipulated. As much as I deny the words inwardly, a grudging acceptances start to overwrite my denial, my hands clenching tighter into fists on the table.

"You'll need time to cope with this, Beric. Much has changed for you in a short span and I fear it may unbalance your mind if we try to move forward now. Go and rest but think on what you've learned here," he commands, his left hand gesturing behind me. I watch his hand glow with a red light, looking behind me slowly as a new dark portal opens at his command. I blink once and see a familiar blue box appear around the portal, the name of the spell appearing in white letters where once, there was nothing but air.

"Why is this happening to me..." I whisper in dismay as I move towards the gate spell, turning back to Demiurge for answers but watching him shake his head no and gesture towards the portal behind me. I feel more lost than when I arrived in his domain but I slowly obey his request, walking towards the gate he opened with slow steps.

I don't bother to ask him where it goes.

* * *

There's tingling as I walk through the gate but I'm getting used to the strange method of travel. Still, I remain cautious of my new destination, a massive hallway lined with pillars of dark stone spreading out before me. A black chandelier bathes the chamber in blue candlelight and from the ceiling, banners with symbols of unknown design hang ominously. There are dozens of such banners but my observation is quickly interrupted by a powerful voice interjecting on my thoughts.

**"Beric Lowarm. Half Dragon-Elf. A Servant of Nazarick," **the voice states from around me, my head and body spinning around fearfully to find the source of the voice. I eventually find the source at the far end of the hall, Lord Ainz sitting on a massive throne that wasn't occupied moments ago. His posture is like some ancient king awaiting fealty, the sight awe-inspiring and terrifying in equal measures. His right-hand rises slightly from his armrest to gesture for me to approach and although I'm afraid, I do as he commands. The silence of the room and the echo of my footfalls make the trip towards them feel longer than it is and I begin to appreciate the illusions at work. The hallway seems longer than first thought and each step amplifies my unease as I finally reach the foot of the throne. The throne itself is on a raised platform of steps and as I come to a halt, Albedo appears from behind the throne.

"Kneel before Ainz Ooal Gown, Overlord of the Great Tomb of Nazarick and King of Darkness," Albedo commands while fixing me in her chilling gaze, my body immediately taking an awkward knee and my head bowing out of fear and obedience. Even though I'm shaking, I stop momentarily when an odd burst of deep laughter echoes around me. Lord Ainz intones in an amused voice, **"That...wont be necessary. That you are among us so blatantly is enough for me. I take it Demiurge was successful in convincing you?"**

"Yes...Lord Ainz..." I say slowly and carefully, not raising my head out of fear of reprisal. Albedo shouts angrily at me to stand and do as Lord Ainz commands, my body doing as instructed and my head snapping up despite my misgivings. Lord Ainz, strangely, puts a skeletal hand on his face and shaking his head in something like dismay. When he's done with his gesture, he looks over at Albedo and states, **"He is with us now. Try not to frighten him too much...this is much for anyone to take in-"**

"He denied your command and chose to obey me instead. His loyalty is lofty and uncertain," she retorts, Lord Ainz staring at her for a moment but nodding his head eventually. Strangely, Lord Ainz sighs to himself and states in a frustrated tone, **"That's because he's a Servant of Nazarick, not to me specifically...he can't deny your commands any more than mine because you can compel any underling to obey your word too...or did you forget this?"**

Albedo looks embarrassed for a moment before bowing humbly from the waist to Lord Ainz, Lord Ainz patting her head slightly with his right hand and chuckling before turning back to me. For some reason, Albedo has a flash of enjoyment on her face but I turn my focus back to Lord Ainz as they lock onto me with the glowing crimson eyes of their mask. His voice takes on a grave tone of authority as he states, **"You have much to learn from us but you must forget what you once were. Accept what you are now and we will help you reach your full potential. In turn, you will aid us in our endeavours. Is this acceptable?"**

The words hang in the air, the silence growing and maturing as we stare at each other. Lord Ainz gestures with a hand for me to reply, my fear rising again but not to choking levels. I'm both confused and afraid when I reply sheepishly, "I thought...I had no choice...Demiurge said-"

Lord Ainz laughs again before I can finish, his laughter sounding genuine and warm despite his fearsome size and prior tone. The amusement is clear when he comments, **"Demiurge...says a lot of things...but rest assured that you may choose to leave our service. I do not want any to serve me under duress. However, give us time to convince you to stay. That's all we ask of you for now." **

I'm surprised by the sudden development, feeling more at ease in front of the powerful lord. I expected to be an immediate slave but never did I think I would be given a choice like this. It made me feel ashamed of myself for doubting Lord Ainz and judging them based on what I had seen so far. My memory starts replaying all of the things he and his servants have done for me up to this point and though I was still afraid, doubts started to become less and less relevant.

_What they do is for my good...is what they ask in return so unreasonable?_


	6. BEGINNINGS

**CHAPTER VI: BEGINNINGS**

* * *

After the meeting with Lord Ainz and Albedo, they moved me back to Demiurge who focused on giving me the knowledge that I needed to know. Education started immediately and I wasn't allowed to leave until he deemed it time to rest. His first lessons were of the origin of the Great Tomb of Nazarick and all of its residents, beings from a different world called Yggdrasil. He assumed that one or both of my parents came from this other land and as he shoved more knowledge into my head per day, this idea seemed plausible at least.

Demiurge told me with reverence of the strongest that inhabited this different world, the ones he called supreme beings like Lord Ainz. In Yggdrasil, supreme beings came in all shapes and sizes but in the New World, Lord Ainz was the only such being they knew of. My discovery was the first piece of solid evidence that other supreme beings had been transported to the New World and influenced it. We both wanted to know who my parents were and though I didn't trust him entirely, we agreed on finding the answers together.

The story of Yggdrasil didn't end well. A grand apocalypse ended that strange world and left its legacy nothing but a memory held by those that lived there. It made me feel humble more than inspired, the idea of an entire world being destroyed uncomfortable to the palate. But I wasn't alone in this humility because the beings of Nazarick felt the same sorrow for their lost world. It made me glad that despite their open distrust of me and their apathetic nature at times, we had something in common and could build on our common ground.

Finding me had been an accident, a stroke of luck while engaging in another endeavour. Lord Ainz, at the time, had been searching for isolated towns in the Slane Theocracy to convert to his cause when he stumbled across a strange magical presence in Irlo. He thought it was the artefact I wore around my neck but after destroying it, it became clear that the magical presence was from me. How I emitted such magic was still under investigation and everyone in Nazarick, including myself, was curious about what was going on. There was no mistaking the relish in Demiurge's tone about unlocking the hidden power within me.

Demiurge's teachings were useful for practical knowledge and application. They weren't as useful when it came to proper behaviour. I didn't think I deserved such arrogance that he wanted me to have and I endeavoured instead to be more like Lord Ainz. So far, they had been humble and compassionate despite the fearsome appearances and great powers possessed. I told Demiurge as much and he agreed but still insisted that I try self-confidence given my unique nature.

_Not everyone was born to greatness..._

* * *

Aura and Mare focused on teaching me how to fight with my new body by placing me in the arena once more. At first, it was awkward to fight without weapons but I quickly came to respect the power that a supreme being had. It was clear that I was no longer human because not only was my body adapted to be a weapon in its own right, my mind felt keener and sharper then it had ever been.

The left side of my body, with its adapting brown scales, could stop standard weapons and projectiles with ease and could shift into melee weaponry on demand. It felt strangely satisfying to have my left arm shape into swords and hammers bent of dealing death at close range, the idea of killing with limbs alone becoming more and more acceptable as I fought. I still felt for my opponents slightly but the more I killed, the more I was able to ignore my emotions and revel in the joy that ending lives.

The right side of my body was faster, allowing rapid manoeuvres that I thought impossible. Avoiding attacks within seconds, ripping weapons out of enemy hands before they can react, and moving faster than I've ever moved were intoxicating experiences. It felt like nothing could touch me and what got close enough to cause harm was easily dealt with. I started to get bored with the joy of ending lives and started to enjoy the fear I produced, the look of terror on the faces of enemies something I savoured as they were cut down.

But even the urge to induce fear and take lives became dulled, Aura and Mare started teaching me that such euphoria was always temporary. As hard as it was to resist chasing the high of suffering, I had to keep the thrill for combat under control because it was another type of distraction. The two dark elves showed me this by example, sparring with me in the arena and easily defeating me every time. They showed me that I wasn't so emotionless in combat and how this made me vulnerable to a calmer and more balanced opponent. Balance and clarity were far more important in combat but it had to be tempered with the knowledge of what you were covering up.

The solution was to hold back my full strength, keeping the enjoyment of combat at bay by using the minimum effort required to end a foe. When to use my strength and what the cost would be were lessons that Aura was persistent in chastising me. It was hard to hold back when I could dominate foes easier with more power but like all of my training, such thoughts became a familiar concept as I was allowed to grow.

But eventually, the time came for the next stage of Lord Ainz's plan.

* * *

I step out of the gate into Demiurge's study, wondering why he summoned me out of the blue after months apart. He doesn't explain initially because he's buried in his research that he doesn't notice me. He eventually notices my presence after a few minutes, his face smiling as he gestures towards an empty seat across the table from him. I'm walking slowly towards where he's sitting when he says in an amused tone, "You know, it seems like yesterday you had no idea what you are and why you do anything at all. Now, look at you! An upcoming servant of Nazarick!"

His right-hand gestures at me to hurry up and sit, his strange compliment embarrassing but my pace increasing to match his haste. He reacts to my embarrassment with a sequence of thoughts spoken as soon as I'm seated. "No need to be modest! You've done well to get this far...of course, you're born to be great...but then again, not everyone can capitalize on that-"

"Thank you, Lord Demiurge, but I doubt you brought me here just to stroke my ego," I reply calmly with a smile, Demiurge chuckling to himself as he shakes his head in dismay. He didn't require me to use his prefix of "lord" but he never stopped me from using it once it caught on. In reply, he places his elbows on the table and locks his hands together, his eyes locking on me as he becomes silent in contemplation. Moments pass and when he finally speaks to me, his tone shifts from humorous and friendly to a more serious tone, his neutral face mirroring his seriousness.

"Lord Ainz and some of the floor guardians believe it's time for the next phase of your training and I agree with them...somewhat. Although we can train you here to your full potential, you need more exposure to the world outside of Nazarick. This task is out of my hands for now. Lord Ainz will inform you of the details but officially, you graduate from the first stage of your training."

I want to respond but know better, bowing my head in reverence and waiting for Demiurge to finish his thoughts. He has plenty more to say and his face smiles as if enjoying making me wait for his reply. Although he starts his next thoughts casually, he slowly shifts back to a serious tone and his smile becomes a neutral line. "I think you realize by now that life is one long learning experience. There's always more to learn from me and others...which brings me to my current problem with you..."

He leans back and removes his glasses lightly, placing them on the table and staring at me with the glowing cyan gems that he has for eyes. It was his way of saying that what he had to say was of the utmost importance so I prepared myself mentally for what's to come. His tone remains serious and makes me uneasy to hear.

"It felt like a good fortune that we found you, a small magical blip on the spectrum, in a town surprisingly close to the border of the Slane Theocracy. It felt like a good fortune that you could tell Mare and Aura apart from each other and even know their genders before they told you. It felt like a good fortune that you didn't lash out at them or any of us, even trusting us with your well being despite your fear. It felt like a good fortune that you passed your combat test with such skill and brutality, surviving odds that would kill most men several times over...and I don't believe in good fortune."

He places his hands on the table and taps his right fingers slowly on the wood in a rhythm from pinky to index finger, the motion repeating a few times before he raises his left hand to his head. His fingers tap the side of his head in the same rhythm for a few seconds before he speaks, his focus lost as he goes deeper into his thoughts. "I've gone over the data we know of you again and again and again and again but I can't figure it out the mystery with what I have...I can't trust you...because all I have is theories and I theorize that you were _meant _to be here. You show familiarity with the Great Tomb of Nazarick, vague memories of this place...implanted in your mind, perhaps?...but you are oblivious to these memories...is this the work of your parents?...another malicious force?... I honestly don't know yet..."

"What can I do to assist you, Lord Demiurge?" I say slowly, Demiurge snapping out of his theorizing and focusing on me. The focus doesn't last longer than a few seconds and he rises out of his seat to start pacing around the library. His right-hand goes to his chin while his left-hand reaches outwards and manipulates a blue box that appears near his fingers. A book flies into his hand that he flips through with purpose but tosses aside moments later. He continues to search for something in another summoned book but tosses this book aside like the first.

Demiurge stops in place and casually tosses his third book aside, gesturing with his right hand towards the table in front of me to summon his glasses. They fly to his hand and he places them back over his eyes, his body retracing his steps swiftly as his dark mood quickly returns to his normal smile. He shakes his head as he returns to his seat, his voice low as he says to me, "I'm pursuing the answers too fervently. Whatever answers there are to find will reveal themselves in time...but let me give you this, at least...you being here is no accident and you didn't plan this of your own volition. Forces outside of Nazarick are at play here."

It's a disturbing thought but not entirely surprising, my head nodding slowly as I wait for any further comments from Demiurge. He sighs lightly and relaxes further in his chair, his right hand waving lazily for me to speak now that he's done. I clear my throat awkwardly and reply semi-clearly, "It makes some kind of sense...the artefact-"

Demiurge snaps to attention at my words, his eyes fixing on me as his passive face grows into a wide smile. He starts to laugh maniacally to himself, looking left and extending his hand to summon another book that he flips through until he finds what he wants with a triumphant laugh. He turns the book around so I can see the illustration, pointing to the picture and exclaiming, "The Rosaries! That's it! I was focusing so much on _you_ that I forgot what you _had_!"

His right-hand taps a blue screen in the air as he discards the book before I can read it, the ball of light he summons in his right-hand expanding quickly into an item. The Rosaries of Protection form in his hand and are shown to me as he tells me with excitement, "_This_ is the missing piece! I had wondered why an item that was meant to protect you from _outside_ influence also protected you from your _nature_!"

I try to hide my surprise at a destroyed heirloom returning from destruction so blatantly. Bands of blue light start to roll over the item, Demiurge focusing intently on the item in his hand until another blue screen appears above the item. The language on the screen is a language I can't read, the script jagged and glowing red. It was likely the tongue of demons that Demiurge knew so well and that he tried to teach me but failed in doing so. He keeps smiling as he reads the new information, nodding his head as he turns his attention back to me and exclaims, "As I thought! This item has an item skin! So in this land, item skins are functional enough to allow the concealed item to function as well! What an interesting discovery!"

Demiurge starts to manipulate the item further, red circles appearing and rotating around the object. Bolts of red energy appear to shock the item and pull at its structure. I watch him work but after a while, he chuckles to himself and tosses the item aside, allowing it to land back into the blue box it was summoned from. His attention comes back to me as he states happily, "It's ID locked by a hidden user! A _hidden_ user! I never thought I'd see encryption in this land! More proof of greater magic from our world! I can't unlock it without destroying the contents so we need to find the original creator of the item and make them open it...and as we both know, that isn't you-"

"So the one who might know...is my father...Thamus Lowarm...he's the one who gave me the artefact at birth...at least that's what my...mother told me," I reply calmly but timidly, not sure how accurate any of the information I just gave him is. Demiurge nods but decides to shift topics on me, another chuckle escaping him as he starts tapping his right hand on the table. "You, my friend, have a very complicated life...though it's not surprising since your parent or parents are supreme beings. They do love to play games."

"Why me though?" I ask him with growing irritation, Demiurge laughing as he gives me a toothy smile. It's a good sign to see since it means he's in a very good mood, his next reply joking. "And what fun would that be? You may not be old enough to understand right now but once you master yourself, what else is there to do but master someone else?"

I try to respond but Demiurge casually tells me not to answer, chuckling lightly as he rises from his chair and walks to my side of the table. I get up as well and he offers me his right hand, my left hand moving forward to shake his hand firmly. I'd gotten used to seeing the dull brown scales coating on my left hand but it still feels awkward to have someone touch them. Demiurge places his right hand on mine to shake my hand, his chuckle aimed at my uncomfortable expression as he states, "We'll find the answers together, Beric. You couldn't hope to find out what's going on on your own."

I was used to how Demiurge's joking works so I took his joking comment in good humour, knowing what he says is true. Before I can say more, I feel the familiar flow of magic from him as a new gate is created behind me, my face smiling ruefully as Demiurge lets go of my hand and gestures behind me with a smile.

"Time to go to the Throne Room. Lord Ainz is waiting for you."

* * *

As soon as I exit the gate to the Throne Room, Aura and Mare turn to regard me, Aura smiling broadly and rushing at me while Mare remains calm and walks towards me. I sigh and brace myself for what comes next, Aura leaping into the air and flipping a few times before landing feet first on my left shoulder. Her pants rub against my head as she sits down on my shoulder and I try to ignore her full weight as much as I try to ignore her right elbow on the top of my head. Mare reaches me with less ceremony but hesitates to do the same, another sigh escaping me as I offer him my right hand. He uses the hand as a stepping stone to get onto my right shoulder, choosing instead to cling to my head with his hands to keep his balance instead of keeping his balance like Aura.

"We do this because we like you...now get moving," Aura states as her left heel taps my arm. It's difficult to see because Mare keeps blocking my vision with his hands but we eventually start making slow progress towards where Lord Ainz is sitting. I feel embarrassed because his laughter, accompanied by his hands clapping in amusement, make me feel foolish and humiliated. Though Mare is still clinging to my head, I catch moments of Albedo eyeing me, her presence in this matter already emphasizing the seriousness of the situation. _Yet Aura and Mare are acting like this..._

Once I'm within a few steps from Lord Ainz's throne, I move slowly to my right knee and bow my head, Aura and Mare sliding off my shoulders to mirror my posture. We don't have to wait long for Lord Ainz to intone to the three of us with amusement, **"You three are getting along very nicely. It warms me to see that Beric has fit into the Great Tomb of Nazarick so readily. Aura, do you believe Beric is ready for the next phase of our plans?"**

"Yes, Lord Ainz. Beric is ready to be moved to our estate in E-Rantel and start learning of the outside world," Aura replies curtly, my mind whirling slightly at the amount of information she says so casually. At that moment, Lord Ainz commands us to rise and we do so without question. A rush of magic indicates a new gate being opened nearby and Lord Ainz gestures with his right hand towards it. He dismisses us strangely, all of us bowing at the waist but my bow a little off in timing.

**"I see no reason to hold you three here. Have fun exploring the outside world, won't you?"**


	7. ADVENTURE

**CHAPTER VII: ADVENTURE**

* * *

"We need to discuss new rules," Aura states as we exit the gate but I'm only half-listening to her. A feeling of wonder settles on my face upon seeing the well-lit entryway of expensive white stone and tapestries. All around us are silver decorations, exotic plants, and artisan furnishing like I've never seen before. Back in Irlo and even in Nazarick, I had never been in anything richer than a barracks for soldiers so the rich surroundings astounded me easily.

"Hey! Pay attention!" I hear Aura snap, her body whirling around to face me and her hand grabbing my shirt collar to pull me down to her face level. My reverie is instantly broken and I'm given the full brunt of her irritation, my head nodding nervously to show her that I'm paying attention. She doesn't let go of me and points a finger at my face, saying with a growl, "We'll be living under the same roof for a little bit so take this seriously, will you!?"

"I've...never been inside a home this..._like_ this before..." I manage to say, Aura's irritation transforming into a wide grin as she releases me with a snort. Mare passes us on the right side, grabbing my right hand lightly with his left and pulling me with a yank. His pull has enough strength to take me off my feet, a yelp of surprise escaping me as he drags me across the carpets. This only aids in Aura's amusement, her face grinning wider in clear enjoyment as she follows behind us and shakes her head at how ridiculous I look. I eventually right myself awkwardly and try to keep pace, Mare idly passing by all the finery of the entry room to reach a wooden door at the far end.

A casual push of his hand opens the doorway, revealing a room just as ornate as the entryway but with a competing feel of function. A large wooden table dominates the centre of the space and multiple wooden cabinets line the walls in organized rows. Mare guides me to the table at a rapid pace, releasing my right hand when we arrive in front of it so he can point at the document spread across the wood. I get a glimpse of the documents as Aura arrives on my left and starts to explain what the room is for.

"This is our operation's room. Our maps, list of objectives, and armoury are all accessed from here," Aura states as I glance over at her casually with a nod. I have to look again out of surprise because now, we have similar heights. She looks as old as I am but keeps her unique features like her mismatching eyes and short blonde hair. Her outfit is the same but refitted to her new frame but when I try to ask what's going on, she cuts me off by holding up her right hand and showing me an iron ring on her index finger. She shakes her hand dismissively as she tells me, "Perfect Illusion rings. We use them to disguise ourselves when in E-Rantel...it's Lord Ainz's idea, not mine."

She turns my head gently to the right, my surprise resurfacing when I see the same change on Mare. We share eye contact only briefly before he looks away suddenly, his body walking away from the table towards one of the cabinets nearby. He opens the cabinet without touching it, making the motions of opening it at a distance and stepping aside so I can see what's within. There's nothing inside the cabinet that I can see but the floor in front of it starts glowing with a blue magic circle. Mare's tone is clipped and formal when he states to us, "Let's get him properly equipped for his first adventure-"

"Okay, you've been acting way too serious around Beric and it's freaking me out," Aura interjects while moving towards Mare, his head looking down to avoid eye contact with her. She puts her hands on her hips and stares at him for a few seconds, moving her body angle to try and force him to make eye contact with her but each time, Mare looks another direction.

Her irritation is inevitable and she grabs his head gently with both hands, turning it to the left to whisper something into his right ear. Mare listens closely then looks at her with growing unease, his hands doing the same to Aura's head as he whispers something into her right ear in reply. She listens intently but casts me glances the entire time with a growing grin.

"Are you serious?" she whispers, my confusion plain as I point at myself. She chuckles to herself and turns to me, gesturing for me to come over with her right hand. Mare starts to panic slightly as I approach but Aura moves to intercept, her left arm over his shoulders to hold him in place before he realizes she moved. He keeps trying to escape even though we both know he can't, his efforts stopping when I get within a few steps of them. Aura is shaking her head the entire time I'm walking towards them, groaning in frustration before saying, "You need to get over your unease, Mare. Beric is from outside of Nazarick and isn't bound by an oath of loyalty like us but...being weird around him-"

Mare does something unexpected, his right hand making a complex gesture that I recognize as a spell but not what language it's in. Aura feels the buildup of magic as well but before either of us can say or do anything, he disappears in a flash of green light. We both glance around, even Aura confused at first before putting her right hand to her face in dismay when she hears the entryway door close gently. It takes her a few moments to get over her irritation and her aggravated words are directed at me since I'm the one left in the room. "This isn't normal behaviour for him...so I have to ask...you didn't do anything...extraordinary to him...did you...?"

"You can track everything I-" I try to explain but Aura holds up her right hand, groaning in frustration and turning away from me. She crosses her arms and huffs loudly before turning back around, her left finger pointing at the blue circle of magic expectantly. I do as instructed even as she explains with irritation, "I already _know _that any guardian can pull that type of information from you at any time but I _told_ you! I'm not like that! And for all I know, Demiurge is withholding information because...because you _know_ why already!"

Demiurge had a habit of keeping secrets of his own and this very topic is something we've discussed before so there was no point in repeating it. I nervously enter the blue magic circle and feel the familiar sensation of losing bodily control. Magic lifts me slightly off the ground and rotates me in place but Aura doesn't let me change subjects so easily, venting her frustration further even as she starts manipulating the blue box that appears in front of me. "I don't want to invade your privacy but sometimes, I'm sorely tempted to! It would be easy to use the right spell and rip everything I need to know from your mind-"

"But you're trying to trust me without gimmicks," I whisper on accident, guilt kicking in as I tell her what she didn't want to hear. She shoves the blue box away angrily and moves closer to me so that I can get a good look at how irritated she is, her teeth bared and her face tense from growing ire. I keep eye contact with her as I was taught, our pairs of mismatching eyes staring into each other until Aura decides to growl at me, "I don't trust you, Mare doesn't trust you, and no one in Nazarick trusts you...but you already know that and we've been over this too...don't act as if you know me."

Aura doesn't normally stay this angry over something trivial or something old but I don't ask her what's wrong given the current outburst. We stare at each other and let her words hang in the air but she, eventually, breaks eye contact and backs up. The blue screen slides back into place and her left hand quickly taps the display to produce the results she wants.

The simple grey shirt and brown pants that I'm wearing shifts into light leather armour, the outfit snugly fitting to my body as always. Simple cloth shoes cover my feet and a grey robe covers up everything else. The hood is pulled back so a black eye-patch can materialize over my left eye. Though it's made of a dark, densely woven material, I can still see through both eyes just fine. But as I ponder why this is, the hood is pulled over my head roughly to cover up my face. My right arm is moved upwards and extended, the sleeve pulled back for some unknown purpose. As I watch, a complex device forms on my upper arm down to my wrist.

"It's called an arm-bow," Aura explains as the device latches onto my skin, leather and wood clicking together as the transparent energy becomes solid. She moves my arm around with her left hand to demonstrate the flexibility, the device separating and reconnecting at several sections but remaining firmly attached to my arm. I'm so fascinated by the device that I almost miss her explanation, my head snapping to her when she stops speaking. She gives me a blank, harsh look to show that she understood what just happened before saying to me plainly, "You have to hold your arm steady and straight to fire with more stopping power but that shouldn't be too difficult."

I'm unsure if she wants me to answer so I remain silent, nodding my head once as she pulls my sleeve over the new weapon. Aura pulls something from her inventory, her right hand reaching towards a blue box in the air on her right and pulling something out of it. She doesn't bother to show me what it is and places the item on the ride side of my belt, my body tensing when I feel her a hand rub skin or scales.

The magic field keeping me suspended dissipates as Aura steps out of the way and gestures for me to walk forward. My right hand immediately goes for the new addition on my belt, my hand wrapping around a hilt and pulling a well-crafted knife out of its sheath. I twirl the blade around my palm in a display of dexterity but know that my body is just doing what feels natural. As I place the weapon back in its sheath, something is placed on my back without me noticing and a pouch is attached to the left side of my belt, Aura explaining to me as she works, "The bag on your back has what you need for your first outing and the pouch can hold other supplies you pick up."

She steps out in front of me and places her right hand against the left side of my head, the move comforting until the eye-patch starts to glow an odd shade of blue. Language scrolls in front of my eye, lists of words accompanied by various pictures of creatures rushing by in a blur of information. The language slowly becomes more coherent and the pictures clearer before they fade completely. I feel the knife vibrate in its sheath as Aura turns away from me, my body starting to follow her automatically as she walks away.

"The carving knife is linked to your eye-patch. You'll know what to do when the time comes," Aura states with some enthusiasm, my head nodding as she gestures with her left hand for her to walk beside her. I feel embarrassed that I'd forgotten something so simple in my stupor of wonder but she doesn't seem to care now, her pace guiding us back towards the entryway. The trip to the main door is relatively short and somehow ominous, Aura silently walking too quickly. She moves ahead of me once we reach the main doors and tells me to open them but as I move to obey, tells me to stop halfway through the motion. My hands are near the doorknobs when she says with concern, "Come back alive. I don't even care if you finish your quests or not. Come back alive."

"Yes, Aura," I reply automatically but the answer isn't good enough. I touch the doorknob but Aura slaps my arms away from them and moves in front of the door. She pulls back my hood and moves the eye-patch out of the way so that we can make eye contact, her face both angry and sad in an odd mix of emotions that she never displayed. Her next words feel very personal and uncharacteristic. "This isn't a time for trained responses! I need to hear you say the _words_! Come back alive!"

"I'll come back alive. I promise," I say in reply, Aura frowning but slowly stepping out of the way. I don't bother with the door, turning towards her and hugging her out of some instinct to show that I understand. She shoves me away after a few moments, some of her previous good mood returning as she smiles at me and shakes her head. Before I can speak, she states with resignation, "Enough emotions from both of us. Go explore the world already before I change my mind."

I give her a slow nod as turn back and open the doors, going outside for the first time in four months.

* * *

An elaborate garden of exotic plants with a winding stone path greets me outside, a chuckle escaping me as I follow the laid path to the main gate. I couldn't begin to understand what each plant is but along the path towards the main gate is Mare tending the garden plants. His head looks up to see who walked out of the main doors and he seems surprised to see me, his body lowering slightly to try and remain inconspicuous among the plants in his white outfit.

I get within a few steps of him before I notice him shaking, crouching down and hugging him from behind to try and comfort him. His reaction is unexpected, his body shaking in my arms as he mutters the same words over and over. He didn't want me to go and he wanted me to stay with him so I hold him closer. That only makes him break down further, muffled sobs escaping him that he does his best to control.

I crush my doubts before they can take hold, my right hand stroking Mare's hair as I whisper to him that I'll come back as soon as I can. The physical contact seems to calm him down and when I'm sure that he feels well enough for me to leave, I ask him if I can go. In reply, he moves my left hand forward and opens it, placing a purple flower onto the palm. The flower has a supernatural beauty to it that makes me feel uneasy.

"It's...it's called an Anemone...it means...fading hope and being forsaken...but also anticipation..." he mumbles to me, my face surprised when the flower fades into purple energy and absorbs into my hand. I turn my hand over and watch the flower grow rapidly on the back, my hand moving in front of Mare's face to show him. His hand gingerly touches the flower but as he touches it, I tell him gently what I told Aura upon leaving the main house. "I'll come back alive. I promise."

He seems to appreciate the words.

* * *

A sense of melancholy descends on me as I leave Mare to his gardening and approach the iron front gate, the gate opening and shutting with far less noise than I'm expecting. The melancholy, however, doesn't last long because a bright and vibrant cityscape greets me. Smooth stone streets and tall stone buildings float among a sea of people with eyes turning on me semi curiosity. Yet many of the viewers are either too busy or too uninterested to care about what I'm doing and continue on their journeys.

"The shorties always get emotional when they send a pet out into the wilds," a voice says to my right, my body tensing as I recognize the speech pattern and mocking tone. The voice sounded slightly different from memory but I know enough to turn and bow my head slightly in reverence, a hand with sharp nails adjusting my head back upwards. My gaze is forced to view a familiar pale face smiling cruelly at me, her sharp nails scratching the scales on my face playfully. "There's no need for that here. I'm just your guide to the Adventurer's guild and nothing more."

"Yes...milady," I reply in slight confusion, Shalltear's cruel smile gaining some genuine charm as she releases my face. It's strange seeing her with pale blue eyes instead of the usual red but the rest of her outfit is the same as I remember. She doesn't bother to get my attention again and simply walks past me without looking back. I awkwardly move to keep pace with her and to my surprise, the crowd seems to sense something is off and part before her. There's no mistaking the fearful looks on some of them as they change course to avoid her path.

"I lied. I wanted to see what was happening for myself and I don't agree with this plan. You're far too weak and unsure of yourself to be given this much freedom," she states sharply as we stroll down the streets, her words holding no empathy for me or my situation. I remain silent as I follow beside her but I acknowledge her words with a brief nod. She stops in her tracks and turns slightly towards me, her left hand seizing my right shoulder with uncomfortable pressure. Though she's smiling, her tone is far from amused as she hisses, "You know...it's impolite to ignore a fine lady when she's talking to you."

"I...agree with your assessment, milady. I don't know why I'm here," I reply tensely, her hand not releasing my shoulder or relenting in pressure. I avoid her gaze by looking straight ahead but she tells me to look at her, my head panning slowly to the right so that we make eye contact. She's enjoying my discomfort given her grin that exposes her fangs, her face moving closer to mine to emphasize my discomfort. Her voice takes on a mixture of amusement and irritation, something I'm used to hearing thanks to Aura. "Is that loyalty or fear talking? I'd hate to have to tell anyone that you fear a young lady."

"I'm afraid of what you can do to me, milady," I answer honestly, Shalltear laughing cruelly in reply and releasing her grip on my shoulder. She turns away while laughing and resumes her pace as normal, my body already in step with her as she keeps laughing. It takes her a few seconds to control herself, my body tensing again when she speaks her next words as we walk.

"Oh, I like you. If we keep things this way, well get along_ just_ fine."


	8. BEAST

**CHAPTER VIII: BEAST**

* * *

The Adventurer's Guild was on the other side of E-Rantel but I didn't notice the journey because of the dual tasks of keeping up with Shalltear and avoiding her ire. These simple tasks were made more difficult because she kept correcting my etiquette and posture the entire journey. She held no insults back, calling me brutish and unrefined due to the influence of dark elves and the influence of the New World. Thankfully, I was able to tolerate such comments because my main concern was to avoid pain and suffering for disobedience, something I knew she was very willing to give.

Shalltear seemed to enjoy our walk more than I did because the entire endeavour was a way for her to test my obedience to Nazarick. She didn't hide the fact that she wanted to know firsthand how far I would obey my superiors but she also took the idea further than most, commending me when I followed her commands and physically punishing me when I didn't do what she wanted. At least her requests made logical sense and involved simple etiquette.

The niceties ended as we neared our destination because of two adventurers. Dressed in metal armour and lacking any sense of danger, they tried to flirt with Shalltear aggressively. Though we tried to go around them, they insisted on blocking our path and listen to their crass posturing and crude courting. Shalltear grew tired of the distraction quickly and nodded to me subtly, telling me in a bored tone to intervene on her behalf.

It was a great relief to be unleashed even for a moment, my body springing towards the one speaking with my left arm extended. The blow to his chest knocked him off his feet easily, my left hand grasping the front of his face as he was airborne. One quick shove slammed his head onto the ground with a sickening crack of flesh on stone but I hold the man in place for a moment to make sure he didn't get up. Though the manoeuvre looked and sounded fatal, they had enough consciousness to roll their head to the side in a daze.

The other adventurer drew their sword on me but my right hand slapped the sword out of their hands before it could be fully wielded. My left-hand shot out so I can pick them up by their armour collar, my right hand grabbing his lower body. One quick motion slams them onto the ground next to their friend and for a moment, I'm unsure if I harmed the man heavily or not. I don't bother to check the health of the second at all, my hands slowly letting go of their armour as I right myself. Neither adventurer got up either from bodily shock or fear and Shalltear's gives me a cruel smile and applause for my efforts. However, having grown bored of the moment, she led us away as if nothing happened.

Fear, unease, and apprehension followed us after the incident, the people we passed actively avoiding us instead of subtlely. Shalltear doesn't say much about their behaviour but displays a higher level of enjoyment while we walked. Her pace is slower and accompanied by a hummed tune that only she knew. I was confused at why her mood had suddenly shifted but I don't voice my doubts, content with simply getting to our destination and doing what I was required to do. Yet in the back of my mind, I played the scene out over and over again, doubting the morality of what happened.

_It was wrong to harm them...but it felt satisfying..._

* * *

Shalltear doesn't give any hints that she's leaving once we arrive at our destination. I turn to my right and she's simply gone but though I feel a momentary sense of loss and irritation, I shrug to myself and walk towards the Adventurer's Guild building. The noise level increases dramatically as I go up the stairs into the interior, the noise of many people not matching the functional and fashionable atmosphere of wooden benches and furnishing. The only outlandish feature in the room is a flight of stairs to an upper waiting area, a surplus that seemed unnecessary given the lack of occupants upstairs. Adventurers of all types are congregating around the space but most are facing the main desk with its attendant.

I look around for threats, noting that most of the adventurers are talking among themselves and enjoying a moments rest. Following the crowd, I move to join the others waiting in line to be served. Eyes are following my progress and tension can be felt building in the room. I assume it's the hood over my head and the lack of visible weapons and armour that makes them wary so I do my best to remain as inconspicuous as I can by mirroring the motions of the ones nearby.

The line progresses smoothly until I'm second in line, the adventurer in front of me holding up the line by flirting with the guild attendant. I give him a few moments of failed attempts before moving into action from my growing impatience. My right-hand grabs him by the back of his leather armour and moving him out of the way but in reply, he snaps at me for my interruption.

Having been held up long enough, I push him a short distance to my left and deliver a solid kick to the centre of the chest with my left foot. The force sends him flying into an empty bench with an audible thump, the entire room echoing with the commotion. Some of the adventurers who aren't paying attention to their surroundings become shocked back into attention by the noise. I turn back to a stunned guild attendant and bow my head in my hood in apology, trying to sound friendly when I state, "I'm here to take my literacy test...and sorry about the commotion."

Silence is her reply to my rasped words and I'm forced to wait patiently for a response. She looks past me at the adventurer's gathering behind me, the sounds of weapons being drawn audible in the sudden silence. I tense slightly but the attendant immediately waves for them to stop, the noise of weapons sheathing taking a long time to become audible. When the guild attendant turns their attention back to me, there's no mistaking the fear in her tone. "Um...I'll...need a name and...have you paid...your entry fee?"

"My name is Beric Lowarm and I was told that my entry fee and literacy test fee would be paid for beforehand," I reply calmly, the attendant snapping to attention and moving to check the notes on the desk. I'm unsure what she reads but she eventually looks up and bows from the waist in apology, saying in a hurried tone, "I'm so sorry! I didn't know what you'd look like and that post was very recent! I wasn't told many details! Please don't hurt-"

"I'm here to take my literacy test. It's no problem," I cut in with hands raised in surrender, the attendant rising from her bow and standing in place for a few seconds before remembering what she had to do. She gestures for me to follow her to a back room, my body trying to match her pace instead of rushing ahead of her like I wanted to. I'm halfway there when another adventurer steps in front of my path, a man in grey plate armour challenging me with questions and censuring me with curses.

This one looks ready to fight at a moments notice, more experienced than the other ones I've seen so far. I'm expecting more resistance this time when I move into action but am sorely disappointed when he doesn't preempt my actions. A sweep of my left leg along the ground takes his legs out from under him but I decide not to use full force, my right hand lightly shoving him away out of my way instead. His body slides along the ground a short distance before coming to a rest against a nearby wall, the conflict taking only a few seconds with the adventurers around me growing silent again.

"This way...Beric...sir?..." the attendant asks curiously as she opens a door for me up ahead, my body moving rapidly upright and forward but stopping next to the door so I can gesture with both hands for her to go first. She obeys more out of unease then gratitude but all I want, at that moment, is to get the test over with and be on my way. The room is all function and the only memorable feature is the lantern on the wooden table. The guild attendant moves to the other side of the table and slides one of the wooden chairs out for herself, taking a seat slowly while telling me, "Have a seat over there and we can begin."

I have to force myself to move at a steady rate and take a seat slowly, my impatience still building as I enter the chair. Something is slid in front of me from across the table and I immediately look down at an upside-down note that the guild attendant turns right side up. She blurts out as she corrects the document, "I... need you to read this for me. Once you do that...the test is over..."

I do as instructed without hesitation, reading the note from start to finish with as much fluency as I can. The guild attendant tenses and her face is uneasy for long enough that I start counting the seconds before she reacts, six seconds passing before her left-hand moves forward. Her tone sounds even more frightened when she says to me, "That's...correct. Welcome to the Adventurer's Guild...I just need to...you know what? Let's go back to the main desk."

I make sure to shake her hand gently as to not hurt her, nodding my head lightly as she gets out of her seat a little too quickly. Her foot catches on one of the legs of the chair and she starts to fall to the floor, my response to spring out of my chair and reverse her fall. I back away and gesture with my left arm for her to proceed but she stands there confused, not sure what just happened but eventually leaving the room nervously. I wait until she's fully out of the room before taking my leave, exhaling in irritation from my nose at so many interruptions.

The atmosphere in the guild remains apprehensive and a few hushed whispers are about me. The ones speaking are curious about who I am but I ignore the talk to focus on completing my task. I end up back in line, the line moving far more smoothly after the incident. Once I reach the main desk, the guild attendant passes me something from her side and I glance down at the strange plate of copper metal with my name on, picking it up curiously then attaching it to my neck. The guild attendant explains as I attach the plate, "This is your rank plate for the guild. When on a quest, you need to wear it at all times...and with that, you're ready to work for us so...just look at the lowest section of the board over there for an assignment."

She points with her left arm towards a wooden board hanging nearby, her index finger pointing towards the bottom-most sections. I give her a nod and move out of the line without ceremony, my view blocked by a female adventurer looking at the same jobs I want to view. Though I'm impatient, I distract myself by getting a good look the obstacle, noting her long blonde hair and leather armour with a sword buckled to her back at an angle._ She looks like a new adventurer...and her appearance is not practical to the needs of the field..._

"Okay...simple job...simple job..." the girl mutters to herself, her head slightly turning towards me than snapping to me in surprise. She jumps visibly and takes an involuntary step away, panic on her face as I stand motionless. I remain facing the board but she unexpectedly changes from panic to curiosity, her hands suddenly reaching forward and removing my hood from my head.

"Oh, _oh_! You aren't human! _Now_ your actions make sense!" she tells me in relief, her hands remaining on my hood awkwardly until she embarrassingly puts my hood back on. She mutters a quick apology for her actions but doesn't stop staring at me, saying as she points at the copper plate on my neck, "Hey, your a copper plate!? Me too! I'm here with-"

"Can I help you with something?" I interrupt as politely as I can manage, my eyes still on the jobs available as the strange girl stops mid-sentence. Her hands move on their own again, reaching forward and undoing my left sleeve to reveal the brown scales covering the skin. She exclaims with enthusiasm, "Wow! You have very pretty scales! How far do they go!?... What even are you!?"

I grunt in discomfort and pull my arm out of her grip gently, putting the sleeve back on and feeling ashamed for not stopping her. Before I can repeat my question or get my bearings, the girl takes my other hand in both of her hands and shakes it vigorously with a smile. In an over-enthusiastic tone, she exclaims, "Well, I'm Rassah! Rassah Loshar! Nice to meet you...Beric, you said?"

"Yes?" I say with confusion, her hand still shaking mine for long moments until I gently pull my hand out of her grip. Her enthusiasm makes me feel uncomfortable and I try to view the job board again, someone else approaches us. I tense in anticipation for another fight but Rassah turns curiously to the new arrival with further excitement and rushes towards them.

"He's nice when you get to know him! We can group," she tells the adventurer enthusiastically, the new adventurer saying nothing to either of us. I glance over and see the resemblance between the two girls, enough of a resemblance to believe that this is her twin. But though they look the same, this new adventurer has shorter blonde hair and a far more cautious attitude than her counterpart, her silence making her appear brooding and ominous. She stares at me for only a moment before turning to her colleague with disappointment, shaking her head and brushing past me to taking a job from the board at random.

"Never again," she says calmly to Rassah as I, once again, try to view the job board. She spares me a withering glance and gives me a slight nod but moves onward, Rassah looking between us in confusion but following her counterparts lead. Before I can let my body relax and accept that the strange pair is leaving, someone pulls my right arm a few times. My head turns reluctantly with a sigh of frustration at this new interruption, Rassah tugging my sleeve with a look of desperation.

"Come on! We have a job to do! Let's go!"


	9. WAKE

**CHAPTER IX: WAKE**

* * *

Though Rassah was enthusiastic about letting me know who she is, her counterpart gives me nothing but scorn. She doesn't even give me her name or rank so I'm left pondering this information while keeping pace behind them. They both stop at some point and the other girl turns to me with a growl and points at the ground on her left with a finger.

"Walk next to me. I don't want some creepy..._thing..._walking behind me," she snaps at me, my reply to walk forward and stand on her left side so we can resume our journey down the street. A part of me is entertaining the thought of turning around and walking back to the guild to find another job posting but pride compels me to stay, all three of us moving away as I try to reason with myself. _Shalltear gives me more abuse then this...I can withstand a few harsh words._

"The only reason I'm letting you tag along is because of what you did back at the guild. You knocked a gold plate adventurer over like he was an amateur and as much as I hate to admit it, that takes some skill above a newbie," the adventurer states grudgingly as we walk but my focus is half on the conversation and half on my surroundings, my eyes closing as I feel an odd rumbling around me. The rumbling is followed by a tingling sensation, one that I'm all too familiar with.

_**Tremor Sense**_

The voice of Yggdrasil rings in my head as predicted, the neutral sound giving me a jolt of ecstasy as new power floods my body. Even after experiencing the phenomenon a few times, I still don't understand the timing. I do, however, know enough to relax my mind and let new knowledge in. My brain fills with new information, my understanding of new abilities rising until the process finishes.

The rumbling clarifies into solid information that I can comprehend and interpret it into finer details. Animals, people, and other vibrations flood my senses and I have to crouch down and focus to make the overflow of sensations tolerable. I'm still able to sense what's around me despite the barrage, the two adventurers nearby stopping again in reply to my movements.

"Let's go. This is getting weird," the unknown adventurer says with disdain, my senses focusing on the sound of their words and their footfalls. The overflow of sounds filters and when I open my eyes, I see an odd trail of vibrating yellow light indicating the path they took. The light trail fades as the power shuts off at my whim, my eyes blinking a few times to clear after images from my sight. Other abilities start to come alive from my blinking and I'm forced to focus my mind again to stop the abilities from manifesting.

Slowly, the power subsides and I rise to my feet, strolling the short distance needed to catch up. They hadn't gotten far and I approach them cautiously to take up a position on their left. A glance to my right shows me that neither of them wanted an explanation nor do they comment on what happened. All three of us continue our walk down the street as if nothing happened.

It's difficult to control my impatience with such slow progress.

* * *

We make our first camp after a few hours of walking down the main road, the trip to the site uneventful and not worth remembering. I let the two adventurers choose the campsite to see what their skill in such things is, surprised that their choice is made with care and tactics in mind. They make sure to clear out some of the brush to see approaching enemies and keep their camp as compact and centralized as possible. By the time they finish, nightfall cloaks the camp in darkness and I volunteer to take first watch as they sleep. I don't have to sleep as much thanks to my wood elf heritage so I feign sleep while on watch, slumping forward slightly and closing my eyes.

The true intention of this acting is to give the ones tailing us a sense of advantage. I had noted the unknown group earlier and they had followed us unseen to our campsite. Sure enough, they start to approach the edge of the camp through the brush, likely trying to capitalize on their false advantage. They break cover to get closer to the campsite but thanks to my senses, I could make out their details long before they do so.

There's at least a dozen of them, moving with quiet steps unheard by lesser creatures and moving their hands in silent gestures to each other. Another two remain in the bushes, training ranged weapons on us while their comrade's approach. Neither of the sleeping adventurers has heard them and I intend to keep it that way.

I let them get within striking distance before casting a **Silence** spell in my mind, the noise around us muting and giving the group a moments pause. Though it took more MP to use spells silently, I didn't want to disturb or notify the two sleeping adventurers of what's about to happen. My eyes are not fully opened when my left arm form into a thrusting point that I ram into the neck of the nearest target. They were minimally armoured for stealth so the attack meets no resistance, shredding flimsy leather, skin, and flesh with sickening ease. My right arm simultaneously aims and fires the arm bow at another target, the bolt going through the eye of a second banding and lodging itself in their brain.

Rapid shots launched from the weapon after that, arrows loaded directly from my bag through magic impaling themselves in two more targets. It's unsatisfying that they make no noise as they die but I ignore the feeling, firing at the distant bandits in the brush even as I rushed the ones nearby. The two bandits in the brush die as easily as the rest and my left arm reforms into a sharp edge, a quick swing ripping another victim's throat open in a shower of blood.

One of them tries to shout in panic but I shoot them through the throat with an arrow, dashing towards the ones that remain. They drop to their knees in front of me, mute horror on their faces as my right arm reformed into a thrusting point and mercilessly rams into skulls and hearts without hesitation. As I yank the implement free of the last fearful face, thrusting again to make sure that he's very dead, I take the time to review the scene of carnage. A dozen bodies lay still on the ground, each wrecked flesh motionless and growing cold.

I retract my scales and crouch down, placing my left hand on the ground. I channel another spell inwards, watching as the blood, bodies, and possessions are absorbed into the earth. The landscape returns to the way it was before the attack, all evidence of the attackers passing undone in a few gestures. I close my eyes as I let my senses confirm this, their vibrations and echoes non-existent among the sounds of nature.

An odd sense of melancholy descends on me as I rise to my feet, the emotion triggered by the weakness of the enemy and the swiftness of the conflict. I crush the emotion to manageable levels and return to my position near the campfire, sitting down silently and resuming the facade of sleep to wait for the next unwanted group to approach us.

I smile inwardly after a few minutes, another foolish group following the same patterns.

* * *

"Hey, wake up," Rassah tells me with as much courtesy as she can manage, my reply to feign snapping to wakefulness and glancing around in surprise. I look up at Rassah and she shakes her head at me, her demeanour of cheerful replaced with hardness. She sounds flustered when she says to me, "You were on watch and you fell asleep? What if something had attacked us while we slept?"

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," I reply too quickly, my body springing to a stand so I can bow from the waist in apology. I accept further censure of Rassah but am glad that both adventurers don't acknowledge my apology. Both of them seemed oblivious to the night's violence as they gather their gear and get ready to leave, both members doing what they can to hide their passage.

Since I don't take any of my gear off, I'm ready to leave as soon as they're prepared but before we leave, the other adventurer stops me and calls me over to her. She tells Rassah to watch the other side of the camp but keep within eyesight, Rassah obeying her command and leaving me alone with them. They turn back to me and move slightly closer, a look of dread on their face as they speak.

"I saw what happened last night," the adventurer whispers in a low voice, my body tensing slightly but relaxing as I try to maintain control of my responses. I don't confirm or deny her claim, remaining silent and nodding my head while waiting for her next words. She glances around the campsite and shakes her head, whispering in a hollow tone, "It's hard to imagine that so many people died here...this place looks so pristine...you even kept our footprints in place and let the fire burn out on its own...why are you following us? For real. I need to know."

"I was told to," I lie in a whisper, the girl staring at me for long moments before sighing and offering a hand. It's her left hand and I understand why she's using it, my left hand leaving my sleeve and shaking her hand. There's slight discomfort on her face when I feel her fingers brush my brown scales, the adventurer uneasy but willing herself to calm.

"My name...is Bormu, a silver plate adventurer, and that's my sister over there...I still don't trust you but you protected us during the night...that's good enough for now," she whispers before letting go of my hand and shouting to Rassah that it's time to go. I follow her lead and take my original position on her left, Rassah taking up position on the right without a word. Part of me is cautious from being discovered and a glance shows me that Bormu is masking her knowledge of what occurred. They don't need to know how I see them.

_They were bait. _

* * *

The quest from the Adventurer's Guild was to rid the southern road of a bandit roadblock that was plaguing trade in the region. When we arrive at our rough destination, however, there are no obvious signs of bandits or a roadblock. I initially believe the bandits in question are the ones I've already slain but Bormu points out a hidden dirt path on the right side of the roads leading into the nearby forest. All care was taken to conceal the route but to a trained eye, there were both faint footprints and evidence of shifting the dirt. Bormu draws the iron spear from her back as she leads us down the path, Rassah doing the same for her sword awkwardly as I maintain position on Bormu's left.

More obvious signs of activity are readily visible as we proceed. Footprints, snapped branches, clear-cutting, and other signs became more and more prevalent and my senses reach out to find anything out of the ordinary. Little by little, I heard sounds that aren't animals or rustling foliage, Bormu following the path slowly but leading us in the right direction of the noise.

The forest opens up into a clearing, tents of leather surrounded by a wooden spike wall a clear sign of habitation. We stop at the edge of camp and use what brush is left around the camp as cover. The noises are louder to my ears and I can make out voices in the clearing, raucous laughter and cries becoming more audible.

I start to see moving shapes behind the spikes of wood and metal pointing outwards, a half dozen humanoids in metal armour crowding around something of interest. This close, I can pick out the muffled sounds, two distinct noises coming from within the group. The smells hit me next, the smell of urine and excrement but of something else underneath, all the smells bodily. My urge to kill takes over and without thinking, I rush towards the makeshift camp, silently approaching with murder as my intent. A swift leap sends me over the simple barricade right into the heart of the camp, my feet in motion as soon as I touch the trampled ground.

The group of bandits are distracted by their prizes and none of them notices me until it's far too late. My right arm aims and the mechanism on the arm shoots arrows through exposed gaps in armour. Three men are thrown forward by the unexpected force and up close, I see that some of them aren't wearing armour below the belt. I note the two bound women in the centre of the group, finally learning the sickening reason why the bandits are distracted. The urge to kill becomes overwhelming and I let the urge take me away, roaring in inhuman furry as I lay into those that remain.

My left arm shifts, slicing at every bandit within reach with as much force and speed as I can manage. Bodies are split in two, limbs are severed, heads are removed. One of them turns towards me in a panic but even with the front of his armour facing me, I ram a thrusting point through the metal and into his heart, revelling in the satisfying sound of punctured flesh and sundered metal. I shift my limb's structure inside his body, a saw-toothed cutting edge ripping free and causing massive internal damage.

One of the bandits has their weapon in hand, a red glowing sword slashing towards me accompanied by their roar of outrage. The blow is clumsy and as I avoid it, my right arm pointing straight at their head. The mechanism clicks together and launches an arrow at point-blank range, a fully powered bolt punching through his nose and out the other side of their head. Blood, skull and brain matter explodes out of the back of their head onto the bandit behind him, the now last bandit standing in mute horror at the sight of me. I grasp the top of his head in my right hand and twist, his neck snapping loudly from the unnatural angle. I throw the body away from me, breathing hard from the exhilaration but trying to calm down and focus.

I don't bother to finish those that aren't dead, intoning **Reclaim** aloud and watching with grim joy as bodies are consumed by the earth. Those that are alive have time to scream in fear, their cries muffled by the earth submerging them. Only after every bandit is dead and I can no longer sense valid opponents do I turn to the two bound women, my head shaking in disgust at what the bandits had done to them.

One of them is dead, their chest still and their eyes glazed over. The bandits had violated her even as she became a corpse and judging from the angle of the other women, she had been forced to watch the horror as she was given the same treatment. I blink and watch as blue boxes surround the figures, giving me vital information on both of them. Seeing that the dead women had died recently, my right-hand reaches into a blue box that appears on my right, my hand grasping the syringe that materializes.

I crouching down and jab the syringe into the heart of the dead woman, waiting a few seconds for the contents to empty before pulling it free. The woman inhales through her nose in a gasp of reanimation, the gag in her mouth preventing a solid breath from her mouth. My right-hand tosses the syringe back into the blue box as my left hand wields the knife from my belt. Both women look at me in blatant fear even as I cut the binds on their hands and feet swiftly, my other hand removing their gags as I accept their understandable reaction to their rescue.

Bormu and Rassah arrive as I help the two women into a sitting position, my right hand grabbing their clothing off the ground to dress them as best I can. I barely get started before discarding the items for how damaged and dirty they are, the stains of blood and bodily fluids unfitting for anyone to wear. Rassah and Bormu look on as I remain calm and reach into the blue box again, pulling out the two scrolls that I need.

I hold the scrolls in my hand and read the Elvish inscriptions in front of each woman, the scrolls flash burning in my hand as I toss them aside and watch the result. A combination of magic flows through the two captives, clothing them and providing emergency medical attention in one spell. The two women are restored physically but the mental strain remained.

One of the women is dressed like a farmer, the other dressed as a merchant. Both break into tears and hold each other in a rush of raw emotions as I step back and turn away, leaving Rassah and Bormu to handle the situation while I search the camp for anything useful. Going tent by tent and searching every lockbox and chest within view, I find the usual assortment of stolen food and valuables along with a few weapons of crude quality. The most valuable item, however, is a map of other gathering spots for these bandits that I place into my bag. I smile at the possibilities for carnage and find it ridiculously foolish for them to write such information down.

I was taught by Demiurge before joining Adventurer's Guild that not all adventurer's finished their quests or even came back alive. The second most valuable find is an example of this, three copper plates and a silver plate for adventurers slain laying among the piles of valuables. I didn't read the names on the plates nor did it matter who they were, my hands deftly placing them into my bag. All that mattered is that the tags are returned to the guild to honour the fallen.

After storing everything I can in my inventory, I set about dismantling the camp itself. Once everyone is outside of the parameter of the camp, I invoke **Nature's Revival **to replace the man-made opening with what it once was, a glade with overgrowing brush and few trees. I don't bother to watch the process finish, turning away and retracing our path on my own. It didn't matter if they're following me or not but I try to keep my pace reasonable so that they can keep up. The footfalls of the four women trying to keep up with me are all the evidence I need that they're behind me.

There is no revelling in this victory.


	10. RATIONALE

**CHAPTER X: RATIONALE**

* * *

My humanity was lost in Nazarick, my conditioning from day one to accept what I truly am if I wanted to survive. Everything in that place reinforced that harsh truth and even rewarded the act of being heteromorphic. But when we made camp the second time on the path home, I started to relearn what humanity was and what I no longer felt as intensely.

The four I was travelling with wanted to talk about what had happened and, more specifically, what I had done. I had revelled in the suffering I had caused but falsely agreed with them that such acts were frightening to perform and should be used in extremis. But I also reinforced that I had little choice in the matter and that savagery was needed to overcome powerful enemies. No one agreed with me.

Helping the two women in need was an afterthought, a result of rigid training rather than personal empathy. Everyone was appalled at such a callous statement and I tried to explain to them that to help without good reasons or the right resources was just as faulty. I helped because I was supplied the means to help but if I had no means or had no reason, I wouldn't have bothered. I only made the situation worse by telling them that I would have killed them to end their pain if their suffering wasn't fixable. No one agreed with me on this either.

I used both groups of women as bait to kill our enemies, a means to distract or lure. Rassah openly called me a monster for such actions but with her insult, I could only agree with her. To their credit, no one flinched when I removed my hood and showed them my face and accepted being called a monster. Strangely, Bormu was the only one that agreed with me on this use of tactics, saying that I had to seize what advantages I could to survive.

It wasn't all bad news during the conversation. Bormu and Rassah felt stronger after the conflict despite doing very little because the life force from that slain, normally absorbed by me, gave them strength. Demiurge had told me that a supreme being, even a half breed like me, grew at a faster rate than a normal being but I didn't understand how the system of "experience" worked. Seeing this system at work firsthand helped me understand a practical example.

The conversation eventually ended on a sombre note. Everyone was worn out from the day's events and wanted to sleep, something I agreed to falsely as Bormu took the first watch. I'm not sure if feigning sleep was convincing enough anymore and endeavoured to ask Demiurge for proper techniques once I returned.

In my fake sleep, I pondered on the value of having humanity rather than my lack of it.

* * *

The guild attendant stands in shocked silence as I lightly place the adventurer plates on the table and slide them to her, those in line behind me leaning over to see what I've done. A ripple of silence expands through the room, the guild attendant sharing the silence as she gingerly reaches forward and rotates the plates so that she can read the names. Her eyes pour over the plates for a moment before she switches her gaze to a document on her side of the desk, her head nodding in acceptance. She uses a quill to mark something on the paper, four scratches signalling the end of the matter.

"And the bodies?" she asks me curiously, my head shaking no in reply. There was no point telling her that they had all been dumped in shallow graves nor would it have been appropriate to bring corpses that far. I felt it better for the bodies to remain among the harmony of the grove, hoping that my act of revenge on the bandits would calm their spirits and allow them to pass on to a more peaceful life. _They couldn't have been older than their thirties...no one deserves to die that young..._

The guild attendant thanks me for my efforts but I'm not finished with my report yet, my hands removing my backpack and placing it on the table. I open it to show her what's inside, the top portion layered with gold and other looted treasures that we recovered from the bandits. I simply close the backpack and leave it there on the desk but she stops me before I can speak, her voice uneasy as she tells me, "It's common that...when any treasure is discovered-"

"Four adventurers are dead. Give this to their next of kin if they have any but if the treasure remains, do with it what you will," I reply calmly while turning away, my body already navigating the path of least resistance to the exit. Silence permeates the room as I leave, eyes following my progress as all of the adventurers recognize the gravity of what just happened. All I'm thinking about, however, is heading home and keeping my promises, their curiosity nothing more than another distraction I don't care about.

The two captive women from before are waiting for me outside. Both look far more cheerful and alive then when we first met and ask me if I need to be repaid for my efforts. I don't answer them, walking past them as if they hadn't spoken at all. They shout a thank you at me in unison as I leave but I ignore their gratitude and continue on my journey home, a familiar hummed tune becoming more and more audible as I keep walking.

"So you're back after four days of adventuring? How slow of you," Shalltear states from my left suddenly, my journey stopping as I turn to greet her properly. She seems rather cheerful but insulting as always, her shoulders shrugging as she turns away and walks towards the direction I was already heading towards. I keep pace far better this time as she adds with relish, "I saw what you did on your journey. How gruesome you treat your victims...but I can't deny your efficiency. You enjoy burying people alive to die slowly in fear...I think I'm beginning to tolerate you."

"Thank you, milady," I reply automatically, Shalltear chuckling darkly to herself as she enjoys the blandishment. She stops me from moving by placing her left hand on my right shoulder and turning me towards her, offering me her right palm with an expectant look. I place my right hand in hers, her face revealing her teeth as her smile becomes more manic. "You are a good pet. I don't have to tell you instructions since you just...get it now. Maybe I might take you for myself...perhaps I'll ask Lord Ainz if he's willing to transfer you to my floor in Nazarick."

"If such is his will, milady," I reply smartly, Shalltear snorting to me and letting go of my hand to resume her walk. I keep pace in silence as she strolls through the streets, her posture and manner far less graceful and more cheery then she has shown me in the past. This assessment proves false when she moves gracefully behind me to stand on my right, her left hand taking the knife from my belt sheath and bringing it to her face to inspect. "You used this to save people from confinement...you didn't even carve up any of the bodies you made. Do you not know how to activate it?"

"I didn't see the need-" I start to reply but she stops me again with the blade of the knife against my throat, the edge shockingly close to my neck and tapping the scales and skin playfully. I try to control my panic but when I start to calm, she moves the blade slowly upwards to scrape my neck, my body flinching awkwardly as she laughs in dark amusement. Her reply is threatening when she asks, "You didn't see the need to use a gift given to you by a floor guardian? Do you think you're so worthy that you don't need their aid?"

"They were humans. I didn't see the need to butcher them like meat," I reply tensely, the knife leaving my throat as Shalltear ponders the statement. I feel rather then see her slide the knife back into the sheath on my belt, her form walking away as if she didn't just ask for answers or threaten me. Only when I follow along in silence for a few more seconds does she reply to my answer, her voice sounding pleased with herself as she states, "You probably don't understand the value that a human body can grant yet. Try carving one someday if you incline. When you start seeing humanoids as just another kind of animal, everything changes perspective."

"Is that what you wish, milady?" I ask her curiously, Shalltear laughing darkly in good humour at my blunt question. I'm not sure if she considers my question seriously but she doesn't answer me at all, her face smiling darkly as she hums to herself in good spirits. We eventually reach the iron gate of the estate but as I bid Shalltear farewell and move away from her, she grabs my shoulders with both hands and with slowness and intimacy that makes me uncomfortable. Her words are whispered to me, making me go from discomfort to dread as I listen.

"Don't give me the choice to have my way...you'll regret it...but I won't..."

* * *

I try to forget what happened outside the estate as I walk through the iron gate. Mare is the first person I see when I enter and at first, I don't recognize his illusion form but when he springs up from where he's crouching and rushes at me from across the garden, I remember the Perfect Illusion rings they wear. He hugs me tightly with uncontrolled sobs, the exchange both heart-warming and awkward as I return his hug as best I can. I don't know how to make him stop crying so I stand there in silence, rubbing his head with my right hand while keeping him close with the left as he cries himself hoarse.

"Get a room, you two...jeez..." Aura interjects loudly from further up the path, her arms crossed as she sighs in frustration and approaches us at a leisurely stride. Though she looks frustrated, she begins to grin as she gets closer, her right hand removing my hood and lifting my eyepatch to see my face and eyes. She looks me over even as I'm trying to comfort Mare, Mare starting to get himself under control as Aura crosses her arms again and states, "Well, you don't seem any different physically. I take it all you fought was a bunch of weak opponents that you easily dominated?"

I give her a nod in reply, Aura snorting in good humour as she rubs my hair with her right hand, my head shaking slightly at the sensation. She taps the back of my robe, humming in an upset way and asking in an inquisitive tone, "And you lost your bag! How did that happen!? I thought the opponents were no trouble to deal with!"

"I'll tell you inside," I state as I brace my left arm against Mare's back, lifting him off his feet and moving us towards the house. Aura groans in frustration as she follows on my left, her head shaking as she outpaces us in her annoyance. I try to ignore Mare's innocent gaze staring at me because such a gaze feels disarming. It was one of the many weapons that he has at his disposal and I have to do my best not to be influenced by his eyes. _He acts innocent but...I've seen what he can do...he isn't that innocent..._

I turn my head more to the left when he holds onto me during the climb up the steps to the front door. His head rests on my right shoulder intimately and uncomfortably and I start wondering if he's doing it on purpose. Aura is already inside and looks at me with a wide grin as I enter, her head shaking again as she tells me to go to the operations room. She does her best to shatter any feeling of compassion I might feel by stating with relish, "Oh, don't feel so special, Beric. He does this to most of the new pets we have until he gets over it. This will pass in time."

Her words are more relieving then insulting, Mare responding to the words by clinging to me more tightly and rubbing his face uncomfortably against mine. I'm glad that I don't have to worry about his weight due to my strength because his minor distractions might have made me drop him. I'm also glad that Aura is opening the doors for us since I lack the free hands to do so but I don't like what she's implying when she looks me.

"You can...put me down now..." Mare says when we arrive at the operations room, my head snapping too quickly to the right and bumping into his face awkwardly. I do as he says and put him down, releasing my left arm from his lower back so he can walk towards the map table. Aura tells me to come over to the closet she's near, the closet already open and deploying the blue magic circle in front of it.

Mare gives me a counter order, saying that I should mark the map of locations I just discovered first. I watch in silence as both dark elves glare at each other suddenly, each one trying to argue that their order is the more important one. I remove the parchment map from a blue screen on my right and walk towards the table, placing it against the map and watching the crude paper disappear.

Green energy plays across the map, the locations provided by the bandits becoming red circles of light on the table. Each location is marked with enemy type, landscape composition, and rough names of camps. It amazed me that what would normally take me time to do takes seconds with the magic of Nazarick, my shoulders shrugging as I turn away and move to the closet as Aura suggested.

"You really should listen to me before Mare...just saying," Aura jokes as I step into the blue circle, the process of changing outfits much faster than it was last time. I remind her that she's the one who told me to listen to both of them but she gets flustered by the reminder, my body coming free of the magic unceremoniously with no warning of its deactivation. I stretch to get used to having less clothing, the feeling surprisingly good now that the grey robe and obstructive armour are gone. On seeing my reaction, Aura comments by saying, "You're an earth dragon...I feel like a fool putting you in a robe. It defeats the purpose of 'being one with the earth' if you block contact with it."

"Discretion is important, right?" I ask her as I keep stretching, feeling more limber and flexible out of robes and armour. I feel something on my left hand and lift the hand to my face, the Anemone regrowing on the back of my hand in a few seconds. For some reason, this makes Aura laugh loudly and explain with unpleasant undertones, "Oh, I see how it is! You got a thing for girlish men and think Mare is a good take away!? I _thought_ you were holding him a little too closely-"

"What!? No," I blurt in surprise, regretting the words a little when I see Mare look at me with a hurt expression. I soon realize that I'm caught between two storm fronts, Aura closing her eyes and nodding in personal victory as Mare moves swiftly to join our conversation. I try to think of something to say as he approaches, settling on saying politely, "This was a gift from Mare, something to remember him by like your carving knife. They're little things to remind me of what's important while I'm not here."

I realize that I've said too much, both dark elves looking at each other suddenly with uncomfortable intent before turning back to me in unison. Mare offers his left fist to Aura who taps her fist to his, both of them calling a truce for something that I don't know of. Mare moves forward along with Aura, their smiles making me uneasy and wanting me to back away from the situation. Aura tells me to stay still, her right hand taking the carving knife from my belt sheath while her left-hand moves across it.

I'm wondering what she's doing as Mare takes my left hand, his hand moving over the flower and changing it into another. The dark purple flower is replaced with one I recognize, a daisy growing in place of the prior dark plant. Mare tells me in a quiet tone as he touches the flower, "It means innocence and purity...sometimes loyal love... it seems more appropriate than the other flower."

"Don't go overboard, Mare. He doesn't know as much botany as you do," Aura interjects with amusement, her magical work completing as she shows me the carving knife. The simple iron instrument for butchering animals is now an ornate blade inlaid with silver and held with a white leather handle. She reverses the knife and offers it to me, my right hand gently taking the handle and placing the knife back into its sheath. She offers me more uncomfortable words as she turns away, Mare walking beside her with an unusual spring in his step.

"We both marked you evenly. You did a good job of not playing favourites."


	11. DOMAIN

**CHAPTER XI: DOMAIN**

* * *

Though I didn't need to rest, Aura and Mare insist that I take a day off. The reason they give me as they shove me through a random gate they summon is to reduce my growing urges to maim and destroy, something I understand and accept. The real reason, however, is to give me time to create an after report for Lord Ainz with the help of Demiurge, something he already knows of when he welcomes me to his study.

"We really need to stop meeting like this," he jokes from across the same wooden table as he gestures for me to sit in the same chair as always, my face showing a rueful smile as I do as instructed. As soon as I sit down, his left-hand remains on the desk but his right hand moves towards me, the hand touching a blue screen that appears in front of my face. I don't follow half of his tapping or swiping but soon, a document made of a white paper appears from the screen. He grasps the paper and starts chuckling to himself for a few moments, saying without looking at me, "Well, I wasn't expecting you to attract so much attention with your obedience. Ulterior motives much?"

"From me or others?" I ask in genuine curiosity, Demiurge answering with silence as he places his left hand on his chin. I start to wonder if he heard me but watch as his humour transforms into disappointment. His tone mirrors his disappointment as he places the paper on the table and replies, "You're still learning new tactics from your enemies but...not much...you really can't learn much from the weak."

"Every combat experience gives me something to learn, Lord Demiurge, even if its-" I start to reply but he holds up his right hand, chuckling to himself from me repeating his lessons back to him. The paper rolls up on its own and he lazily rolls it across the table with a flick of his right hand. My left-hand takes the paper from the table as he states, "That is true but Lord Ainz will explain more when you see him. There's far more to being a supreme being then knowledge."

Before I can ask what he means, he waves his right hand dismissively at me, the chair I'm sitting in sliding slowly backwards until I feel the familiar tingle of travelling through a gate. I stand up out of surprise and the gate closes in front of me, my head searching around the Throne Room in confusion. The noise of another gate sounds behind me and I turn fast enough to see Demiurge reach an arm through another gate and reclaim his chair with a quick yank.

**"You have returned, Beric, Young Elf Dragon and Servant of Nazarick," **a powerful voice says from behind me, my body immediately turning back towards the throne and approaching Lord Ainz as he waits for me to approach. As I approach and kneel in front of his enthroned form, I note that not only is Albedo present but also Shalltear, both of them tracking my movements with their gazes. I bow my head so I don't have to stare at either of them and offer the white paper in my left hand to Lord Ainz. I don't hear him move and instead hear him intone, **"I...would prefer if you handed that to me personally... I know it's asking much but...I try not to rise from my throne when having an audience."**

I'm not thrilled by his demand to move closer but I obey him despite my reservations, my body rising swiftly to my feet and crossing the small space between us to hand him the white paper. He still doesn't move when I offer it to him, the paper leaving my hand and floating towards him to unfurl when it reaches his masked face. I back away and return to my kneeling with head bowed as he reads, surprised by his light chuckle becoming rolling laughter.

**"So you are attracted to neutral gendered individuals? I would assume so. You have spent many months in the care of such beings and such preferences would grow from exposure," **he comments with mirth, my head bowing lower in embarrassment at having something like that read aloud. I don't know if it's what I really feel or if it's a joke from Demiurge at my expense but I don't reply to his words.

Lord Ainz commands me to raise my head so he can look at me, my head staying low for a few seconds out of embarrassment before I obey. It's uncomfortable to hold his gaze but he nods slowly when I obey, his next words apologetic and hushed. **"I shouldn't say such things aloud...I will endeavour not to do such things again."**

Shalltear walks towards me suddenly, her right hand reaching for me and grasping my shirt collar. I look into her eyes out of habit as they start to glow a strange shade of pink, magical power flowing into my brain and dulling it even as I try to resist her spell. The panic I feel is replaced with an unnatural sense of calm, Shalltear smiling at me as she asks politely, "Is what Lord Ainz said what you really feel or a joke?"

"I don't know for sure. Demiurge was the one who made the report," I reply calmly, her face happy but slowly becoming irritated by the answer. She's about to ask something else when Lord Ainz tells her to stop, Shalltear faking a smile and obeying immediately. My mind loses much of its calm as the spell wears off at her whim and I blink my eyes and shake my head a few times from a dull ache in my brain. Shalltear says to Lord Ainz as I'm adjusting, "I don't think I want him as a servant any more if that's what he prefers to chase. He may be obedient to a fault but to have such a preference in partners? Deplorable!"

"You are far worse then he in such matters, Shalltear," Albedo states sharply in a rare moment of conversation, Shalltear rounding on her angrily as Albedo does the same in reply. The two lock eyes on confrontation but Lord Ainz is quick to tell them both to stop, both women slow to obey the command but grudgingly obeying by standing in their original positions.

Their hostility is then turned on me, my head lowering again to avoid their ire but Lord Ainz commanding me to look at him. I reluctantly raise my head and hold his gaze for as long as I can but I can't keep it for long, my unease from being the centre of attention making me lower my head again. Lord Ainz eventually says to me, **"You have provided us invaluable information, Beric, and will be rewarded for it as usual but I have questions of my own to ask you, ones that I want to hear the answers for."**

I nod my head and try to look at him again, my unease becoming dread as the eyes of his mask start to glow red. He asks his question a bit forcefully, his words coming out as a demand rather than a question. **"Do you wish to be transferred to the command of Shalltear Bloodfallen? I was told that you're willing but I want to hear it from you."**

Though I'm focusing on Lord Ainz, I see Shalltear look away from the group at that moment, her face becoming panicked and flustered as she turns away. I don't have to answer him because Lord Ainz turns his head left slowly, his head nodding as if he already had his answer. When he turns back to me, he places a hand on his face and sighs, removing it to ask his next question. **"I see that you're struggling with control of your urges for bloodshed and you ponder the value of humanity. This is a by-product of your mixing of races, a clash between the humanoid and the heteromorphic. Do you wish for us to help you with this problem?"**

"Yes...such a thing scares me, Lord Ainz...I don't want to lose my humanity...or become another mindless beast..." I whisper in desperation, Lord Ainz nodding his head knowingly and sighing to himself again.

**"I'm sad to see you go, Isnadra-sama...but I understand the reason," **he intones, confusion my first reaction to his words until I start looking around. Albedo and Shalltear are nowhere to be seen and I'm about to ask him what he means when someone else responds to him, someone behind me saying in a clear and commanding voice, **"I didn't want it to be this way either but you saw what we're treated like in the guild...we're treated like second rate gamers...and for what? Because we chose to be half a heteromorphic instead of 'pure' heteromorphics?"**

I rise to my feet and turn around, watching a strange figure in form-fitting armour of bright silver moving past me and focusing on Lord Ainz. At this distance, there's no mistaking the dull brown scales on the left side of their skin and the left eye of draconic origin, their facial features almost identical to mine. I stare in mute confusion and horror as neither figure notices me standing there, both of them focused on each other as the familiar figure responds, **"It's better for all parties if the half breeds leave, Momongo-sama, rather than get kicked from the guild by you...I know it's a point of strain for you and like it or not, this simple problem is cutting Ainz Ooal Gown apart...I just wish it didn't have to be this way..." **

I want to ask this figure if they know me, if they remember me, or if I'm no one to them. I open my mouth but no sound comes out, the words in my head not becoming vocal. I keep trying desperately to speak but can't hear anything, the frustration making me try to reach out to the figure talking to Lord Ainz.

I glance at Lord Ainz to see if he sees me and catch him without his mask, new horror stopping my actions as I view his face. A skeletal face of ancient malice, a skull set into a permanent rictus with eyes that glowed red in their sockets, stares at the familiar figure. New understanding makes me shake further in fear as I remember every time he ever looked at me with his mask. _He's an undead...and his eyes glow behind his mask..._

Lord Ainz nods and replies calmly but with sadness, **"As do I...I have the power to simply keep you here as guild master but...it would, as you say, cut the guild into pieces and likely mean the end of us...I'm sorry this is happening-"**

**"Don't be. It just means I have something to prove to the people of Yggdrasil. There's nothing to be sorry about," **the other figure replies with a formal bow, her form turning around and walking away with a smile on her face. I watch as they enter a gate that opens in front of them without looking back.

**"That concludes our meeting, Beric. This gate will lead you to someone who can help you," **Lord Ainz states as he opens a gate behind me but I'm too disoriented by what's happening to reply. I open eyes that I didn't know were closed and glance around me, finding everything as it was before the strange event. I'm still kneeling despite standing up in the event and I notice Lord Ainz, Albedo, and Shalltear judging my inaction with their eyes. I'm unsure if what I witnessed was real or not but I find my voice eventually, unable to contain the shock and fear present in my mind. "Momongo...san...you...you knew my mother?..."

All eyes turn to Lord Ainz, even Albedo looking surprised by my outburst. His reply is silence at first, a hand moving to his chin as he contemplates what to say to me. He remains silent as he rises from his throne and moves towards me, moving until he's a single step from where I'm kneeling. I have to look up at him to meet his eyes, Lord Ainz saying something that would eventually make me appreciate how wise he is.

**"I am not the one to tell you."**

* * *

Although I obey Lord Ainz and travel through the gate he summoned to another unknown location, I'm still fuming about his words when I arrive at my destination. Part of me understands his reasoning for not telling me what I wanted to know but that part is buried under feelings of betrayal and outrage tempered with impatience. _He has what I want more than anything...and he chooses to do with it as he wills..._

"So...you enter my domain..." a grating voice says from across the room, my fuming ceasing so I can take in my surroundings. My feelings of outrage are quickly replaced with appreciation, a sense of wonder filling me as I take in the fine details of the furniture and interior. Everything around me looks like it's made of ice or snow, furniture and decorations of grand proportions lining the interior to look like a simple dining room but with furnishing spaced far enough apart to allow easy passage.

Among the grandeur is a large, blue armoured figure sitting on the floor on the far side of the room, their form resting on the ground with their back to me. How they know I'm here is a mystery but they start to rise to their full height, their body rising up on armoured legs as they let two pairs of arms unfurl from their body. A spiked tail unfurls from behind them as well, the mass sliding along the floor as they turn to move towards me.

Even at this distance, the figure is massive in size and that only becomes more apparent as they cross the room towards me, their steps thunderous despite the slow and deliberate movements they make. Lord Ainz seems far smaller by comparison to this being, the sheer power and inhuman physique they project dwarfing the lord of this place by a high margin. Strangely, the being doesn't remain standing for long, moving close then sitting down swiftly with a crash of armour on the flooring. As they stare at me with their odd blue eyes, I can't shake the feeling of the otherworldly staring into my soul.

"Remain still...let me have a look at you..." the figure rasps, a gust of cold air escaping their mouth as they stare me down. I try not to breathe in the mist they exhale, afraid of what it might contain but trying not to show my doubts or fears to this being. This becomes harder when they reach forward slowly with their right hand and raise my left arm, their second right hand brushing over the dull brown scales slowly as if judging them. A strange rumbling sound comes from their mouth, another gust of mist escaping their face as they let go of my arm.

"So it's true...you have grown and now wear the mark of Isnadra openly...you really are of her blood, are you not?" the figure asks suddenly but I don't know how to answer, my silence making him exhale more mist. It's hard to tell what this being is feeling or thinking because their face is so inhuman and as I stare, I hear the same rumbling sound come from them. The figure places their right hand under my chin and angles my head to the right and left, examining me further as he grates, "You don't need to answer...I can see it in your face...in your earthly scales...in your posture and poise...and in your eyes, wild yet innocent...like hers...you are of supreme blood...the resemblance is inescapable...and yet altered-"

"I don't know my true mother or my true father! My whole life has been a lie up till now! Help me understand what I am!" I snap at the being angrily, avoiding their eyes and feeling ashamed that I snapped at them so easily. Their reply is the same grating sound from before which I understand now as laughter, the figure releasing my face and placing a massive hand on top of my head. There's an odd sense of compassion in their touch despite the fierce strength, something that I don't understand even as they tell me their name.

"I am Cocytus...Allow me to teach you the arts of combat and honour, young master...and I will teach you of your heritage."


	12. DISCIPLINE

**CHAPTER XII: DISCIPLINE**

* * *

Just as Isnadra was trained to master herself by the supreme being Takemikazuchi, his creation Cocytus taught me to master myself. It was a strange moment for both of us that the creations of supreme beings would meet again, the master and student relationship forged anew by their descendants. But training started first with the Bushido Code, an ancient code of conduct created by unknown warriors of honour that was structured into eight virtues.

The first and strongest virtue was rectitude and justice, the ability to decide upon a course of conduct following reason without wavering from it. Cocytus helped me define what it meant to be a true monster without honour, one that acted on impulse and with self-fulfilment as their goal. He gave me the teachings to avoid such behaviour but at the time, I was still sceptical because I couldn't believe that such a being of strength and size would also be such an able teacher. As I spent more time learning what it meant to be a truly honourable person, however, I soon found such thoughts to be counterproductive and disrespectful. _If I am to avoid becoming a monster, I must commit myself to the right path willingly._

I learned of courage, of knowing what's right and acting on it. Though this lesson was simple and quick to learn, I was far from mastery because the right path was endless and often demanded personal sacrifice. It put a new perspective on my first adventure, an act of courage rendered meaningless because I wasn't thinking about what's right and simply acted on rash impulse. The fear and unease that those around me felt from my actions only emphasized this point. _The swiftness of action means little without quickness of mind and surety of consequences._

Relearning benevolence and mercy was odd to me given my prior training but it was the missing piece in my psyche. I was trained heavily in the power of killing and domination but lacked equal parts of compassion and sympathy for my enemies that such power needs for balance. It was one of the reasons why I had such a hard time controlling my urge for combat, the urge to kill not balanced by the sympathy for those I've slain. It was a humbling lesson, to be told what I took from those I've already slain, but I knew it was for the best that I learned the true extent of what I've done. _Always remember what is taken when killing and the cost that is rendered on the soul._

Cocytus admitted that he didn't know what it meant to be polite in its full context so, for that lesson, we both had to learn from the head of the servants, Sebas Tian. Where most of the beings of Nazarick I've met had very unique personalities, Sebas appeared simple in demeanour and made me feel highly uncivilized just to be around him. He looked like an ordinary man and taught us only small but carefully selected tips to match our needs. My respect for the humble being grew immensely with his help but by that time, we had to proceed with the lessons. _Only by regarding the feelings of others and adjusting to them can one be truly polite._

Sincerity was a similarly difficult lesson to learn given the sheer amount of resources the beings of Nazarick could muster. To practice doing without and using only the bare minimum for each trial was something Lord Ainz had commanded of his followers. Even Lord Ainz obeyed this edict by creating his identity of Momon, a personal symbol emphasizing this requirement of less. Cocytus helped me understand the lesson further by telling me stories of past exploits by Sebas, Demiurge and Shalltear who left far more powerful impressions on the world by using far less of their powers and resources. _Defeating the skilled with little more than your guile and your own body is the epitome of balance._

Honour, personal dignity and worth tempered by the fear of failure. My fear of the powerful and the unknown had been prevalent since I was captured but it had to be tempered with the knowledge of what I was worth and the standards I had to uphold. Cocytus simply told me my worth as if it was a simple truth but I didn't believe him, not wanting to believe that I was the future of a place I'd never known and was meant to command people I've never met. I went as far as vowing that I'd never become a master of this place, my mentor agreeing with rumbling laughter but demanding something of me in return for his acceptance. Despite being sceptical, I willingly accepted his demand. _Honour is bearing the unbearable because it is right to do so._

Though I had shown loyalty to Lord Ainz and Nazarick, I still had to learn what it meant to be truly loyal. My loyalty only meant something if I'm loyal to something greater and more honourable than myself and with this in mind, Cocytus told me not of Lord Ainz but Momongo. Before he was great in power, he was a simple heteromorphic in need that was saved from death by another. He became indebted to this being, to this Lord TouchMe, and took on the mantle of a leader when he was asked. The story, however, had a sad but hopeful ending, each member of their great organization leaving the world as their goals were accomplished. Momongo was left alone to watch the world die in its final moments, his loyalty compelling him to stay until the world ended. He didn't know that he would be rewarded with a second chance at greatness when his home was transported to the New World. _He was loyal to the end...loyal to what his mentor wanted even as the world fell apart around him..._

It was only after knowing the seven virtues that I was taught about character and self-control. A true follower was a being of swift action but one that knew where actions would lead and chose the ones that followed righteousness. At this point in my training, I was finally allowed to visit others I knew in Nazarick, Cocytus following me to each destination and observing my conduct.

Aura and Mare were surprised by the change in my self-confidence and the way I conducted myself, Aura even joking that the month I had spent in Cocytus' care had indoctrinated me into complete loyalty rather than allowing me a choice. My simple reply to them was that my training wasn't over yet and that only the foundation had been laid. _I have to finish my training...then I can answer their claims properly._

Shalltear was far too overjoyed that Cocytus had, in her words, broken my will and made me a true servant, one that knew who my master was and how I should conduct myself. I didn't deny her words more because of the reason I gave Aura and Mare. _I don't like how predatory she is...but there must be a reason for it._

When we returned, combat training began in earnest.

* * *

Two Heavens as One style is what Cocytus called it, the art of wielding a long weapon and a short weapon simultaneously to attack and defend at all times. Traditionally for these warriors, a katana sword and wakizashi sword are used for this combat art but the style is adapted by Cocytus to fit my weapon's set as his master did for my mother. My left arm acts as the long weapon and my carving knife acts as the short. Cocytus demonstrated the moves for me a few times then performed the forms with me when I trained in them.

"Slash. Thrust. Parry. Advance. Dodge. Retreat. Feint. Rest," Cocytus says aloud as we go through each move slowly and deliberately, my body still unused to the slowness and the routine nature of the training. The point is for me to not only master the moves but to recite internally the eight codes that go with each move. As we repeat the same drill, I recite each word with each move we perform. _Rectitude, Courage, Benevolence, Politeness, Sincerity, Honour, Loyalty, Character._

Cocytus inspect my forms as we train, telling me of the flaws in my posture and movements during the resting phase before beginning the set again. I still feel embarrassed each time he corrects me but already know its for my good. My body is still trying to adapt to the teachings but as we start another set, he strikes up a conversation.

"You have what your mother has, young one...impatience and a raw urge for trial by combat...I can see it in your movements still," he grates as we go through the forms, our speed steadily increasing as I smile and nod in reply. He had told me before why I had this flaw, my very nature as a young dragon making me impulsive and gifting me with the urge to explore. _It'll be trained out of me eventually. The experience will help too._

"Even with your flaws, I see that you are adapting and evolving of your whim...such change is true change, not one forced upon you...relish the feeling...for it is rare," he grates suddenly, my smile leaving my face as I focus on the set, the forms moving at a high enough speed to demand my full attention. The goal was the same as always, to slowly increase the speed of the forms and perform the entire set in a second or less without sacrificing accuracy. This goal was something I hadn't accomplished and as we finish the set, I exhale in sadness from having failed again.

"Let your body adapt to the forms of its own accord...you will not master such things by the force of your own will," he chastises, my head nodding as we move to rest again. I move to do my drills but as I slow down my movements and try to keep my form accurate, more errors become apparent and doubts start to make my movements sloppy. The frustration of failure doesn't help my forms at all and soon, Cocytus has to call a halt just to calm me down.

"This entire combat style feels...strange to me, Uncle," I tell him with as much courtesy as I can manage despite my impatience, Cocytus exhaling mist in a mixture of apprehension and frustration at my words. He turns to me and takes a seat so that we're on the same eye level, his eyes looking me over as I try not to flinch under his gaze. Long moments pass before he comes to a decision and tells me in a grating voice, "You still have the raw impulses of youth...I can teach you the forms many times over but I believe this is not the time for you to learn it...your very nature prevents you from mastery and that is why you must return to your original task until you are truly ready-"

"But what about my training!? It isn't complete yet," I reply with impatience and unease, Cocytus laughing as he places one of his hands on my head. I exhale to try and control my frustration and he exhales mist in kind as I try to stare at him without fear or desperation. His hand remains on my head to reassure me as he replies calmly, "Return to me when you are ready...I entrust this to you..."

I'm not given a choice in the matter, a gate opening behind me as his hand rises from my head. He's already rising from his seat and turning away from me as I remain in place, confused and upset for a moment before allowing the code to reassert itself. My hands go to my sides as I bow from the waist, my voice trying to remain calm and clear as I say to him as he walks slowly away, "Thank you for what you've taught me. I'll return when I'm ready to learn more and...I will miss you until then."

Though I don't sound as confident as I wish to be, my words halt Cocytus for a moment. His head half turns to me, his left cluster of eyes fixing me in their gaze as he has a moment of indecisiveness. It doesn't last more than a few seconds, his head turning back around and his walk resuming as he proclaims, "...as will I...now go, young one...I will await your return..."

I do as he says, turning around and walking through the gate with a new purpose.

* * *

"Well, look who it is," Aura states as I exit the gate into the estate entryway, her head shaking and her arms crossing as I walk towards where she's standing. She offers me her left hand with a wide grin when I stop in front of her, my hand automatically entering hers as she starts to rub the scales on the back of my hand with her fingers. Unlike before, I don't find the action uncomfortable and she snorts when I remain calm and controlled. "You know, I'm gonna miss the old you once you're retrained. One day, you're gonna be able to bite back so much that you won't need us any more-"

"Never," I reply firmly while turning my left hand, my right hand moving to rest on top of hers but Aura pulling her hand away with another snort of amusement. Hands suddenly move over my shoulders as a familiar weight rests on my back, my head leaning slightly to the right to allow Mare to put his head over my left shoulder. Though his right cheek rubbing against my cheek feels odd, especially on the scales, I understand why he does it. _He's very open with his expressions._

Aura sighs as she shakes her head but I'm prepared for what she's about to say when she states with plenty of undertones, "You two get along...a little too nice...why don't you just go off to some secluded part of the estate and-"

"I have to gain more experience so I can complete my training," I cut in, both dark elves losing much of their humour and staring at me with a mixture of disappointment and frustration. I smile to myself and exhale through my nose at their reaction, adding afterwards, "I...don't have to leave immediately...I can visit for a time if you wish-"

"I wish as much so let's go," Aura interrupts quickly as she rushes forward and takes my right hand, my body already moving as she pulls me towards the main door. Mare holds onto me as I'm pulled along and I try to ignore both his gaze and Aura's knowing looks as we exit, my focus firmly on keeping up with Aura's pace and not losing my balance as I go down the front steps.

Mare suddenly lets go of me when we reach the bottom and dashes to my right, Aura still holding my hand and taking me into the middle of the garden before stopping us. I hear her whistle strangely into the air then watch her let go of my hand and join Mare where he's standing, both of them staring at me intently as I return their gaze with confusion. I feel a rush of magic and look towards the iron gate, two large creatures appearing from the air near it and shocking me with their sudden presence.

One of the creatures, a large wolf with black fur and a strange yellow pattern on their face, rushes directly at me. I'm too frightened and confused to move, my body remaining still as they rush me. What they do next is unexpected, its rapid pace slowing suddenly so they can sniff my entire body. Their nose is warm but wet, poking me a few times as they sniff from my head down to my feet.

The other creature, a large lizard with green scales covered in red patterns, walks up to me and lays down next to the wolf with a heavy thump. The lizard remains incredibly still as both of their strange eyes rotate to me. I try to hold the gaze but the wolf starts enthusiastically licking my face, my head trying to avoid the affection and the slobber. The wolf tracks my movements and eventually, my face becomes wet with their saliva. I can hear Aura laughing even over the wolf growling in satisfaction while licking my face.

"They didn't maul you! That's a good sign!"


	13. LEISURE

**CHAPTER XIII: LEISURE**

* * *

Their names are Fenn and Quadracile, two of Aura's pets among dozens that she tamed over her long lifespan. Both possess unnatural strength and speed similar to the two dark elves but given their initial affection, however, Aura assures me that they won't harm me just as she and Mare wouldn't harm me. By some language of presence that only Aura could understand, they recognized a friend of their master and conducted themselves accordingly. They aren't above acting on there own, just like their masters, because Fenn grabs me by my shirt with their jaws and tosses me onto their back with a whip of their head. My body adjusts mid-flight and lands gracefully on their black fur despite the suddenness of the move.

"Quit showing off," Aura comments with amusement as she crouches down and leaps from her spot with a front-flip, landing seated in front of me while Mare does the same to land behind me. Neither of them minds our bodily closeness so I emulate their behaviour until Fenn lays down suddenly, my hands awkwardly holding Aura's shoulders for balance.

"Fenn! Don't be a bad dog! We aren't that heavy so get up!" she snaps at the wolf, her head glancing angrily over her left shoulder at me. I quickly take my hands off her shoulders and place them on the wolf's fur, her face furious as she snaps at me, "And you! Hands off unless I tell you to!"

"Yes, Aura," I reply automatically, Aura exhaling from her nose in annoyance as turns back and leans forward. Her left hand lightly taps Fenn on the snout trying to get him to stand up but Fenn shows no indication of moving to a stand. Mare places his head over my right shoulder and whispers something into my ear, my head leaning to the left as I listen because his words start to confuse me. I look over my right shoulder to see him nod in reassurance, my shoulders shrugging as I obey his whispered command.

I lean to my left and start to scratch Fenn's fur lightly with my left hand, whispering gently that he's a good boy. The wolf growls and I'm unsure what this growl means but eventually, he slowly rises to his feet. Aura half turns and slaps my hand off his fur, saying to me with an annoyed tone, "Don't do that! You and my brother have the same bad habit of spoiling him! No wonder he gets lazy when you don't pet him!"

"And you don't pet him often enough! You always treat Fenn like he doesn't have feelings!" Mare snaps over my shoulder unexpectedly, Aura turning herself around suddenly to glare at him over my shoulder. I'm very uncomfortable being in the middle of their quarrel but the confrontation doesn't last too long, Aura snorting out of her nose angrily. She stands up on Fenn's back and leaps the short distance to Quadracile, the lizard rising onto its many legs and turns towards the iron gate. Fenn turns his head first to us then to Aura's exit path as we watch the lizard leave.

I open my mouth to ask Mare what to do next but close it when Fenn sprints in pursuit.

* * *

I'm surprised at how fast Quadracile can move despite their size, Fenn running to keep up with the lizard who's rushing past building and people in a stampede of motion. Uneasy onlookers stop momentarily to watch our passage, many of them wise enough to get out of the way before the giant animals run them over. Those that don't get out of the way, mostly the ones paralyzed by fear, are leapt over by the beasts we're riding. My body tenses each time the wolf leaves the ground to jump over an obstacle and sometimes, I have to lean downwards to avoid falling off.

Now that I'm not wearing my grey robe, I enjoy the feeling of wind feels on my exposed body more than I thought I would. I start to lose track of time in my childlike joy, my moments measured in large landmarks whipping by at high speed. Market squares, grand parks, grouped housing, and officials buildings are only momentary sights even when I'm looking ahead and moments later, I recognize one of the gates to the outside regions before it whips by as well. I can't tell what direction we're heading in and the rough roads come and go in varying degrees of repair. Aura then directs Quadracile into the wilderness on our right, the open ground swiftly replaced with trees and brush in our path. Our progress doesn't slow, however, and I'm forced to stay leaned forward to avoid unwanted contact with branches and plants. Some of the obstacles rush so close to me that I can feel the wind of their passage.

I stay low and focus on what's in front of us, going upright only when we leave the forested area to enter an open field of grassland. Birds and animals flee from our progress, using whatever mode of escape they could and making a variety of noises to signal their panic. It's a beautiful sight to see so many different animals but I lay down rapidly to avoid getting hit by further tree branches.

Suddenly, we decelerate and the landscape changes both physically and mentally. I feel the change me before I see it, the sense of wrongness and violation making my skin crawl. Now that we're moving slower, I can pick out the obvious signs of clear-cutting up ahead, stumps of trees decorating the open ground like tombstones. All signs of animals and nature had been ripped out, replaced with the corruption of outsiders.

An encampment surrounded by wooden walls of upright logs lies in the centre of the field, decorated with sigils, thorns, and spikes standing in harmony with the surroundings. A banner with odd symbols flies from four locations on the walls, the sigil of a knife rammed into a skull painted in red on a field of shredded black cloth. I didn't need anyone to tell me there were enemies nearby and my body tenses for a coming fight, the wolf beneath me maintaining speed as I reach to my right and touch a blue box that appears near it.

Armour coats my body as I summon gear from a personal inventory dimension, a suit of light metal plates encasing my torso and loins but leaving my arms and legs exposed. The black eye patch covers my right eye which syncs to me with a thought, my eye blinking through information about the surroundings. Most of the information confirms what I already know but as we get closer to the encampment, I look again at the symbols and pictures on the walls. My powers analyse the iconography, the eye patch displaying names and designations of those we would destroy. _Skull Piercers...goblins..._

The tribe name meant nothing to me but I knew of goblins well enough. Yet what draws me most is the spiked walls, shreds of blood, flesh and torn fabric coating every spike. Some of the flesh is intact, the eyes of dead animals and people staring blankly at nothing. The torn clothing is similar to that of the villagers I've seen and know, the armour synonymous with guards and even some adventurers. My vision confirms this further as several blue boxes appear around some of the flesh, my eyepatch showing me the names and designations of the victims. All of them show no signs of life and are beyond saving.

As I allow the arm-bow to assemble on my right arm and mentally link it to my supply of arrows in my summoned backpack, I let my left arm mould into a blade long enough to strike at targets on the ground. I feel insulted that the goblins didn't bother to have sentries or towers to watch for intruders but this only made the moment of impact with their sentries more satisfying.

They weren't expecting a force stronger than them to attack.

* * *

I had never seen Aura, Mare, or their pets fight together until now, their unleashed ferocity something to remember. We don't bother to find the front door of the camp, Quadracile using his bulk to push down the wooden walls as if they were flimsy sticks. Whatever is on the other side screams a hideous wail before being smashed to a pulp under heavy logs but as we cross into the cleared interior, I wonder dreadfully if anyone we need to save was just crushed.

The answer quickly becomes irrelevant as roughly two dozen goblins with various armour and weapon quality turn to us in surprise, some of them ready to fight but most of them caught by surprise. Aura doesn't show them any mercy, her magical whip already in her hand and lashing out in bright arcs of heated metal. Whatever the whip comes into contact with is torn apart, be it armour or flesh. Quadracile adds their brand of destruction as well, their mouth opening to spit bolts of electricity at those in front of them to devastating effect. Anything hit with the bolts of deadly energy has no time to scream before turning into ash.

But the goblins attack anyways, some of them able to land blows on the lizard in retaliation. Weapons and clubs leave no considerable damage and those that wander too close are either electrocuted or cut down without effort. Some try to flee but walk into our kill zone, Fenn pouncing on unfortunate victims to bite and claw while I shoot arrows at those who remain standing.

The fight becomes a route and my right arm casually aims and fires at goblins hiding behind their flimsy concealments. I don't need to confirm the kills in any way because I can feel their deaths more than I can see them. I look back at Mare to see if he's fighting and find him staring at me, his eyes seeming to see my inner thoughts and making me feel uneasy. _He always looks so innocent..._

Aura and Quadracile are already in position for the goblins that come out of their hole in the ground, the creatures foolishly trying to counter-attack. The sounds of inhuman screams tell us of their demise but larger roars of outrage soon follow. I look over to see ogres, larger creatures made of muscle and wearing heavy armour, surge from the hole with roars of challenge. They last a little longer than their brethren but Aura's equipment tears through their armour with ease and Quadracile's magic destroys what toughness they possess in their bodies. In only takes a few seconds to reduce the counter-attack into a carpet of torn bodies and ash piles.

Only once all credible threats are dead do I note the few beings that remain. I had ignored them during the fight to focus on the battle but now that the battle was done, for now, I dismount alone and head directly towards the source of the disturbance. There are seven survivors caged in semi-sturdy iron, their forms either naked or barely clothed in scraps. Cold information streams in front of my left eye, forcing itself into my brain as if it belonged. A little over four dozen warriors had been killed, nearly half a tribes worth of enemies. The deed is worthy of praise but more information arrives, telling me of the twelve neutral casualties. Some of the casualties are in the cages in front of me, the seven survivors becoming only three. All of the bodies are women and from their smell and their lack of clothing, living had been a far worse fate.

I recognize two of the figures alive, their forms bruised and battered but unmistakenly the forms of Bormu and Rassah. Both laid on their cage floors in a state of delirium, barely clothed and sporting the violation of creatures sating their urges on living beings. I couldn't tell how long they had been there but I didn't let them stay there any longer, my arm forming into a slashing blade that cuts the cage doors open. As I enter the cage and the full horror of the scene finally dawns on me, Bormu is the only one that can look up at me. She has enough energy to hoarsely snap at me for taking so long to rescue them but her second response is to break down into a sobbing mess of pent up emotions. I move her into a sitting position as the trauma finally breaks her down into a state that's similar to the others.

Rassah and the other woman on the ground don't move and when I inspect them, they're barely breathing and barely sensible. The stream of information in front of my eye tells me what I already know on my first glance. I estimate that they had been here for a few months given how far along both pregnancies are. I focus inwards, gathering energy from the earth beneath me to perform what I need to. I touch each of them with my right hand, glowing green energy flowing into them to destroy the offspring while mending the flesh. I touch Bormu as well and the three of them rise to their feet, traumatized but adventurers once more.

Taking them with us is a mistake but they want their revenge against the creatures that wronged them even though they have no equipment to do so. Demiurge, who had been watching me through remote observation, appears through a gate at that moment and commands the women with a powerful voice to come with him. He smiles and nods to me as the women are compelled to obey, the three of them marching through the portal without comment. Part of me feels uneasy at Demiurge using his powers to make them comply but their conviction couldn't be denied and it's safer for all parties if they're out of harm's way.

Demiurge takes the remaining corpses with him, both victims and enemies. I know full well what he does with corpses, having witnessed many a dissection upon visiting him. I'm unsure which bodies he'll dissect and which he'll bring back to life, thankful that I don't have to think about it for long. This is one of the few moments I'm glad he goes back to his domain.

As I turn to Aura and the rest who are waiting impatiently nearby, I start to remember some of the lessons I was taught about goblins. What they did to these women was how goblins procreated due to their race being mostly males and their reproductive organs being incompatible with their race. The violation of women and men from other races was their way of surviving. Seeing the result so vividly changed my mind about how these creatures deserved to be treated. _The world could use a little less evil in it..._

As we started our assault of the underground caves, I endeavoured to leave no survivors.

* * *

Goblins are always more dangerous underground and our assault would be suicide to even hardened adventurer's. Tight spaces, hidden traps, and overwhelming odds make the task near impossible to conquer even in large numbers. The goblins know that we're attacking and had a decent amount of time to prepare for us as we slew their kin above. Fenn or Quadracile have to stay behind because of the tight confines but both pets are tasked with guarding the exits and making sure no goblins got out alive. We searched and sealed the hidden passageways out we found but I didn't use** Nature's Revival** to restore the landscape because Cocytus had pointed out why during my training with him. _Use their advantage as a trap. Use their safety as their doom._

Aura leads the way into the ruined stone entrance of the caves, my presence behind her on the left and Mare following on the right. We don't need light due to our enhanced vision and my extra senses are extending out as far as they can to find anything out of the ordinary. Aura removes the hidden traps, foes, and diversion that I point out at an almost casual pace, her smile in the dark giving off the impression that this is exciting for her. Mare doesn't smile but from his body language, he's also enjoying the tense situation.

Aura's whip lit up the darkened stonework as she decimated anything in her path, the confined spaces making it impossible for enemies to dodge her attacks. Their numbers held no advantage to a strong adversary who knew where to swing, light laughter and glowing eyes making Aura a far scarier foe then the goblins could be. I didn't have to fight much myself, occasionally swinging at the few goblins that tried to flank us with impunity.

We didn't bother to stop for such things as gold or treasure because Aura didn't care. I recovered what intelligence I could from the scraps of paper strewn about, recovering maps and scrolls of information in the goblin language. A few adventurer plates and identification items are taken from fallen corpses, some of them little more than skeletons holding rotting meat. Soon, we started hitting greater resistance in the form of better armed and armoured goblins but that only made us more interested, Aura tearing a bloody path to wherever the goblins are trying to guard.

We stumble upon their prison complex and drive straight into it, cutting down every goblin within reach and littering the room with their bodies. I lose count of how many I cut to pieces, my left arm swinging rapidly to maim and slice with dismissive interest. Many of those left in the cages are more corpses but among them are four women that the goblins have captive. Mare uses his magic to help them, the magic healing their physical wounds but doing nothing to rid them of the parasites in their bellies. Two of them needed help moving and everyone except Aura and I do what they can to assist.

One of the women gets a few steps before falling and screaming, her wails filling the silent cavern with noise. As I watch, whatever creature is inside her claws its way out of her crotch, blood flowing as the woman starts to convulse. The creature cries on the ground for a few seconds until one swift stomp from my boot ends its life in a crunch of flesh. I cut the umbilical cord still tethering the creature to the women, the remaining women horrified by my actions. However, the visible pain of the woman on the ground overwrites all other considerations for me and thankfully, Aura and Mare nod to me in understanding. _Don't let them grow to take revenge. _

We don't have to go anywhere to find their leader, an old goblin wearing a cloak of leather over themselves and wielding a gnarled staff of wood. Him and his retinue storm into the prison complex, their superior numbers surrounding us from all sides as he castes magical fire and ice at us. Mare uses his magic to shield us from harm as Aura and I down everything around us, the metal of her weapon whipping every direction as I slice at those that get too close.

Soon, it's only the old goblin left and Mare delivers the final blow with a bolt of green fire. The goblins attempt to shield themself with magic do nothing to stop the otherworldly fire from ripping into him, their body ballooning and exploding into a ball of magical light. We remain unscathed in our shield caste by Mare, those goblins in hiding around us consumed by the magical burst. The light fades and the noise subsides, leaving a blackened ruin around us.

Yet even with so much destruction, the journey isn't over.


	14. AWAKEN

**CHAPTER XIV: AWAKEN**

* * *

Dirty stone walls and floors are blackened around us, the bodies of those slain reduced to dark ashes on the spots where they laid. The silence made the scene more unnerving and my body tenses despite sensing no more enemies for a fair distance. A flicker of blue light catches my attention and I aim my right arm mechanism at it out of reaction, tensing the arm slightly to steady my aim. The light expands rapidly and forms into a familiar blue box pattern in the air, my body remaining tense as I keep my arm aimed at the target. The blue box remains motionless in the air and after a few moments, I begin to walk slowly towards the box with my arm bow raised towards it. No one follows my cautious stride and only when I'm within a few steps do I lower my aim slightly.

"Do either of you see this?" I shout behind me as I point with my left hand towards the blue box. My voice echoes in the empty chamber and upon turning slightly, Aura and Mare give me a look of confusion. Both of them move closer to each other to start whispering things but I ignore them for now, snapping my attention back to the blue box as if an ambush is coming. My right arm mechanism aims back at the box as it starts to shift, my body tensing as I ready to fire.

Words start to form on the box's surface, causing my confusion to grow as the pale light swims across the surface to form coherent language. A single word appears out of the mess of letters, the word rising from a swirling mass of light and flashing in a constant rhythm. I mouth the word a few times as if expecting something to happen if I perform the motions, my right arm lowering as I sense no real threats.

"Claim..." I read aloud finally as I reach forward and tap the word with my left hand, not sure what will happen but endeavouring to find out. A jolt of energy shoots through me as soon as I make contact with the box, my eyes closing reflexively as I feel my body shake from the power. I force my eyes open when the power leaves me, the box exploding into a ball of green radiance. My right arm moving in front of my face to block out the sudden brightness but the brightness is so complete that I'm forced to close my eyes. Green radiance pierces through my eyelids, my head turning away to avoid the worst of the glare. Only when the light starts to fade do I look back, the ball of green losing much of its blinding light and rising into the air. As I watch, the orb expands to light the entire chamber in a strange green glow, the dark landscape around us revealed in startling colour.

A torrent of multicolour motes spread from the orb, each mote a giggling voice echoing around the chamber while flying off in every direction. I can feel the energy and magic building around us and watch the motes tap every surface they can in their flight. Floors become soft grass and stonework becomes mossy, the air changing from the smell of burnt flesh and ash to the smell of dew and plant life.

It amazes me how quickly the motes finish their task and gather into a large swarm next to the green orb, a hand reaching out of the light and pointing towards the way we entered the cavern. Responding to the unspoken command, the cluster takes off through the cave entrances, rushing out of the room giggling to do to other parts of the ruins. The sight is awe-inspiring and I reach out with my left arm to touch some of the lights, some of them stopping momentarily to hover near my left hand. They touch my scales and I feel a warm sensation, plant life growing on my hand accompanied by a multitude of flowers to match.

"What did you do!?" I hear Aura shout behind me in irritation. I turn to her and see her rushing towards me, her face just as confused and awed as mine but also sporting a hint of irritation. Something starts to shake under my feet ominously and I take a step back, small leaves then wood rapidly sprouting from the ground. The plant blooms at an unnatural rate until a tree stands proudly, its height reaching the ceiling and concealing the roof with branches and leaves. I take a look around at the wondrous place the ruin has become, all evidence of the previous ruin gone.

The orb of light moves into my field of vision, a hand pointing at me then pulling back into the ball. A giggle emanates from the orb which implodes, the energy beginning to take form in a rapid spinning motion. The ball becomes a humanoid shape, changing into a woman spinning clockwise as if by an unseen wind. The woman becomes solid over time and a pair of grand, translucent wings form on her back, making her look larger than she is. She doesn't have clothing at first but as I watch, a simple dress from plants grows from nowhere to cover her frame. Her arms cross over her chest as she opens her eyes, emerald eyes locking onto me in particular.

That expression of serenity is palpable but turns into a wide smile as she spreads her arms and legs suddenly. She allows herself to fall, her wings flapping on her back to fly around the room at high speed. She's giggling and enjoying herself in her flight, the pattern of her flight becoming more and more sporadic. My head glances between Mare and Aura who are standing near me but find that their attention is firmly on the new arrival. When I turn my attention back to where they're staring, the strange woman is floating in front of me and grabs me under my arms. Her strength is formidable and as she holds me close to her chest, she floats slightly upwards and spins me around in a circle.

"It's you! You look so much older since the last time we've seen each other!" the woman says in a singsong voice, my confusion and unease apparent on my face. She hugs me tighter and rubs her face against mine awkwardly, making me gasp in surprise from the sudden pressure of her hold. I'm about to ask what she means when she starts to fly around the room with me in her arms, my body tensing from the acceleration as she giggles in enjoyment.

"It's you! It's you! It's you! It's you! It's you!" she repeats as we fly around the room but I become dizzy from her flying and close my eyes to avoid nausea. There's a sudden jarring deceleration and I open my eyes with a gasp, looking around in confusion to find us in the air near the tree. The woman is looking directly at me and I get a good look at her emerald eyes, pointed ears and long, brown hair. A sense of nostalgia starts to take hold despite her strangeness and the more I think about her features, the more I feel like I know her.

"Aren't you...Roeray Sunlight?" I whisper in apprehension, the woman responding by smiling widely and yelling suddenly in excitement. I'm confused by her reaction and she spins me around in place again, hugging me too tightly and dizzying me further as she yells in excitement, "You remember me! I missed you, Beric!"

I have to wait until she stops spinning us to collect my thoughts, my head shaking to get rid of the sudden dizziness. Old memories start to trickle in through the fugue of confusion and nostalgia, her smile and mannerisms feeling more and more familiar as I focus on her face and mannerism. I whisper my thoughts aloud, unable to hide my disbelief. "I remember you...when I was younger...we used to play together in the forest outside Irlo...but...my mother said you weren't real-"

Another thought quickly follows and Roeray's smile drops suddenly, her face worried and concerned about something. We start to descend, avoiding the branches even though we're staring at each other. I try to keep the anger out of my voice but fail. "She knew about you...and lied to me...she said you were just part of my imagination...but you _were_ real...yet all this time...where did you go?"

"I can't tell you. I'm instructed not to-" she starts to say but I'm already growling in frustration, my arms pushing hers away as I take a step back. I'm glad that the ground isn't that far, my feet touching the solid ground as I take a step away from her. She looks hurt but I don't care how she feels now, snapping loudly at her in growing anger, "By who!? Who's making you do this!? WHO!?"

"Can you excuse us for a second?" Aura cuts in calmly, my head whipping to my right in anger but my face softening when she gently pulls me away by the right arm. Mare is with her and pulls my left arm in the same manner, both of them working together to walk me a fair distance away from Roeray and calm me down with the occasional pat on the head. A sense of guilt starts to rise when I reflect on what I just did, my face mirroring my sadness. _She's just doing what she's told...like me...I can't fault her for that..._

"When were you gonna tell us you had a mystical girlfriend!?" Aura whispers to me with too much excitement, the shock at such a wild claim rising to my face. I look to Mare who is just as curious and try to form a coherent response. I don't manage it, stuttering out, "Wait, wait, wait...I...haven't seen her in years and...back then I...she wasn't anything like that to me-"

"You're blushing," Mare says immediately, my head turning away slightly and my reaction making them giggle to themselves. I shudder an exhale to get a hold of my embarrassment but neither of them relents in their curiosity, Mare asking seriously, "So are you gonna make her your girlfriend now that you're old enough?"

"This is too sudden! I just met her again just now!" I blurt too loudly as I reflexively look over at Roeray. She's currently distracted by remodelling the chamber with the aid of more motes of light, her finger pointing at spots on the walls and floor for the motes to turn into branches and other natural fixtures. Aura breaks my line of sight and snaps her fingers in front of my face to get my attention, jolting me back to the conversation at hand.

"I mean... it's okay with us. It's not like we kept you fed, clothed and safe for that past couple of months or anything," she jokes with a smile, my face frowning at the awkward situation she just put me in. Mare, on the other hand, shows his disdain for my choices by stepping into my line of sight and giving me a hard look as if daring me to make the wrong choice. I'm not sure how much of Aura's joke is a joke but before I can answer, I feel the familiar sensation of magic followed by a woosh and turn to the source of this new interruption with Aura and Mare.

Two figures walk grandly out of a gate, both of them immediately recognizable by their manner of dress and their unique ways of moving. Demiurge walks out with his hands behind his back, his posture proud and knowing as he gestures with his left hand towards the gate to close it. Shalltear waltzes to us, paying no mind to her surroundings and keeping her focus firmly on me. Her face is half-smiling and there's something predatory about the way she's moving towards me. When she gets near, she places her arms uncomfortably over my shoulders in a strangely intimate way, ordering me to look at her.

I immediately regret obeying when I meet her gaze, my instincts screaming for me to get away before its too late. Sure enough, I recognize her glowing eyes and my mind tries to resist her spell but is unable to stop magic from seeping in. The odd sense of calm descends over me again and my body vibrating lightly as a part of me tries to fight her will. Her words are whispered but sound rich with promise. "You know...I didn't believe what Lord Ainz said when he told us what you are...a supreme being? You? You were just a lost child when he captured you...but look around at what you created...you did what's impossible for us, for guardians, to do-"

Aura and Mare cut in suddenly, releasing her arms from my shoulders and pushing Shalltear slightly away so they can stand in front of me protectively. I shake my head and blink as the spell is broken, looking back to see Shalltear's fury for being so rudely interrupted. She quickly masks the emotion, exhaling from her nose and smiling at us to expose her fangs. Her voice is silken and mocking when she says to the two dark elves, "Oh I'm sorry, is he _your_ prize? You'd better hurry up and claim him for yourselves before I do-"

"_He_ isn't property to be owned, Shalltear," Mare states boldly but from the side glance that Aura gives him, she doesn't agree with his claim. She doesn't refute his word though and Shalltear's replies with cruel laughter. She snaps back at the pair, "Did you forget that he's a servant of _Nazarick_, not just to you two? It's very noble that you protect his interests but don't think you can fool me or any of us. Did you forget-"

Demiurge reaches us and brushes past everyone, Shalltear stopping mid-argument to watch him glide through the confrontation and turn me around casually. He puts his left arm over my shoulder as he walks forward and I get the hint instantly, walking along with him away from the group. His face has the usual smile and he adjusts his glasses with his other hand before saying to me in an amused tone, "You, my friend, have no idea how much of a stir you just caused by what you've done...you...realize what you've done...right?"

I try to answer but he raises his right hand and chuckles, my mouth closing as I shake my head no in reply. He sighs to himself as we stop and turn back around, the group we walked away from staring at us as he explains, "The ability to claim territory magically and, more importantly, summon servants to do your whim is something only a supreme being can master...and although what you've made here is minor compared to the combined efforts of the Great Tomb of Nazarick, there's no doubt what you are now."

He gestures to the guardians eyeing me, a light chuckle escaping him again as he adds to his statement. "And with power comes...complications. As you've noticed from the behaviour of these very particular guardians, they very much want you to be their cherished follower. My advice is to-"

"I obey the will of Lord Ainz's and he wished me to stay with Aura and Mare," I interject uncharacteristically, Demiurge moving from friendly to neutral from being interrupted. At first, I believe I've spoken out of turn and become uncomfortable as he stares at me inquisitively. There's genuine apprehension in his gaze but plenty of sarcasm in his voice when he replies with a smile, "As you wish...young master."

Word had spread that Cocytus had called me that and it was more of a joke now than a title, something I didn't want to be called and something that's used as a slur. I couldn't tell which title Demiurge is using and I frown in disapproval from his use of the title, trying not to show my irritation. From his light chuckle, I'm not fast enough to hide the irritation and he enjoys my frustration a little too much. I'm turned lightly towards Roeray as he explains, "Onto the matter at hand. Use your senses, the ones of a supreme one. You will understand what I'm trying to show you."

My eyes blink as I do as he says, blue boxes forming around Roeray to fill with information. A strange fog obscures much of the information, my hand reaching forward and passing into the fog as I feel an odd sense of familiarity. Though I don't mean to, I mouth aloud, "The dawn...brings darkness...and light..."

The combination of touch, voice, and phrasing causes the fog to dissipate, revealing the information hidden beneath. Demiurge is chuckling in good humour at this point but I'm focused on the information I can see, my eyes scanning everything I can from top to bottom. Demiurge asks me what I see and I say aloud, "Roeray Sunlight, Elvish Fairy, servant of-"

I stop speaking when I see the name, my entire thought process jarring at the name. I remove my hand from the box and try to back away but Demiurge keeps me in place, my head snapping to him in fearful apprehension. He asks me gently what I saw, to read it to him word for word, and I glance back at the box, shaking my head no in reply. As always, he persists and my will is slowly overwritten, my voice trembling as I utter the words.

"Servant...servant of Isnadra Miaxsys..."


	15. HISTORY

**CHAPTER XV: HISTORY**

* * *

Demiurge has my family heirloom with him, the Rosaries of Protection shedding their item skin as I use the method discovered to unlock it. He immediately recognizes the amulet as the Amulet of Unchanging, the strange golden coin considered a "world item", an extremely powerful and singular relic. It supposedly changes the user into whatever form they desire and though he impresses on me that the item is worth more than anything I have, it's unassuming and fragile look makes me think otherwise.

Demiurge becomes overly interested in finding out how Isnadra found such an item, hypothesizing that it was discovered either in the New World after she arrived or in Yggdrasil during her time outside of Ainz Ooal Gown. After more analysis and a few magical rituals, he explains that the item is set to lock me into my old appearance, an average human with no defining characteristics. With such a powerful item masking my true identity from all observers, it's little wonder that I was able to hide so easily among average citizens.

Lord Ainz was able to destroy the item with his magic which Demiurges emphasizes is impossible for such items. However, at the time of destruction, the item had the properties of the skin it wore and simple spells could damage it in this state. Demiurge seems overjoyed at this discovery and thanks me for this new project to pursue.

I want him to take back the item because it doesn't feel right possessing it but despite offering it to him for study, he insists that it was in Nazarick's best interest for me to keep it. He wanted to see how the item reacts with me in this new state and though I don't believe his reasoning fully, I accept his judgement. Without knowing I can, I mentally alter the Amulet with my thoughts, the amulet glowing and somehow telling me that it's maintaining my current form. _Another gift from mother...memories that don't belong to me..._

Demiurge turns my attention back to Roeray who's idling nearby but he doesn't need to tell me what to do. Just by glancing over the information I unlocked and touching the information with my hand, I seem to know what needs to be done on an instinctual level. I start to manipulate the information but Demiurge tries to dissuade me, warning me to think first about what I'm doing. I ignore him for once and focus on the changes to Roeray, activating them with a single tap of my finger.

The pain that follows is intense and feels like I'm being stabbed from the inside out. I don't even have time to scream in pain from how fast it happens and my body becomes heavier and drained from the ordeal. I remember falling to one side but I don't hit the ground, Demiurge catching me mid-fall with a look of amusement and irritation on his face. My eyes stare back at him blankly, my mind slowing as he says something to me. All I could hear is a strange buzzing in my ears, my eyes closing slowly as exhaustion finally overcomes my willpower.

Tears fell down my face as I lose consciousness because, in my moments of consciousness, I saw more than I wanted to see.

* * *

Everything hurts and my eyes struggle to open. My head throbs painfully throughout the entire process. When I manage to open my eyes, all I see is blurriness. I blink rapidly to try and make everything come into focus more quickly, wooden rafters of artisan quality coming into focus after a dozen or more blinks. I try to orient myself as quickly as possible, feeling more at ease when my senses slowly return and the room around me becomes more familiar from the feed of information. _This is my room in E-Rantel...I'm in a safe place-_

**"To have a summoned servant truly come to life, the creator must sacrifice a part of their power," **a powerful voice intrudes, the words hurting my head and making me wince in pain. I close my eyes in reaction to the pain and want to cover my ears with my hands but my arms don't respond to my will. A painful ringing howls in my head after the words, slowly dissipating to a feeling of dull pain. An exhausted breath escapes my throat but I grunt in pain as I feel a heavy breath scrape my throat.

**"Your senses are readjusting to wakefulness. You've been unconscious for a few days and it's harder in this world, it seems, for a supreme being to readjust," **the voice states more softly as I feel an odd flow of magic run through my body, a feeling of warmth and comfort flowing from my left arm to the rest of my body. The pain slowly subsides and my mind becomes clearer, thoughts flowing through my brain at a faster pace. A barrage of images and sensations disorients me but when I open my eyes again, the torrent lessened to tolerable levels because of other sensory input. I let out another exhausted breath but this time, without added pain.

Lord Ainz leans over me from the right and I jolt in surprise, trying to move to a stand to show him the proper obeisance but pushed gently back to a laying position by his skeletal hand. He wasn't wearing his mask, his skeletal rictus gazing at me with glowing red eyes. The only reason I'm not afraid of his skeletal visage is the same reason I'm brought to tears, painful memory surfacing in horrifying clarity. I'm barely able to choke out the words I want to say, the weight of what I know making it difficult to express the memories. "My mother...this power...isn't mine..."

Lord Ainz doesn't respond, his face remaining the same as he turns to exit the room and leave me with my misery. I don't want him to go because I need his help in making sense of these emotions. I go as far as trying to rise out of bed but can't manage it, my body straining to rise but flopping back into bed once I run out of energy to move. This leaves me no choice but to watch him leave with growing misery.

**"Ask the one laying next to you what all of this means. She hasn't left your side since you were carried back to E-Rantel," **he comments as he opens the door to the outer rooms, stepping through it and closing it gently behind him. In desperation for answers, I move my head to the left too quickly and grunt in pain from the sharp sting of sprained neck muscles. I don't recognize the person leaning against my body nor feel much through the blankets over me, confusion rising as my thoughts become jumbled again.

My extra senses extend, information forming a blue box around the figure before I dismiss the box with a blink. Recognition kicks in and I don't know what to say to the sleeping woman initially, my thoughts still grieved and jumbled. I don't know how long I lay there silent but I eventually settle on whispering to her, "Thank you, Roeray...and I'm sorry...I didn't know what I was doing..."

Roeray springs to life and moves on top of me, sitting upright with a bright smile on her face that makes my sadness diminish significantly. Something about her happiness puts me at ease and I try to say something but she puts a finger over my lips, shushing me so she can speak. Her voice isn't as happy as her smile, the words hoarse and exhausted. "Why did you give me freedom?... I didn't ask for this...and you suffered greatly for the gift...why...why suffer like that for me?"

"It's the right thing to do...and if I'd known that you were created, enslaved, to be my companion...I would have tried sooner...I didn't know..." I whisper, feeling sadness resurface as I look away from her to hide my pain. Something about her gaze made me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable but she doesn't let me look away, using her right hand to turn my face back lightly. Tears start to roll down her face, her face cringing as her mask of calm falls away. She puts her hands on her face as she breaks down into muffled sobs, whispering in desperation, "I wanted to tell you when you got older but...I didn't know I would disappear so quickly...I didn't...want you to learn like this...that-"

I want to be angry at her for lying to me as a kid, for fooling me into living a lie and for moulding my mind to think that I belonged to the Slane Theocracy and Irlo. But as I lay there fuming and watching her cry, the anger seeps out of my mind and is replaced with a feeling of emptiness. One thought surfaces among the blankness and makes the feeling of emptiness more dreadful. _It's not her fault...she was made to do this..._

The guilt of making her cry overwrites other considerations and I act out of impulse, ignoring the pain of my strained muscles to sit up with a grunt. My arms feel numb but I angrily force them to obey, gritting my teeth behind my lips as I try to hold onto Roeray. The leaves of her dress part to allow our skin to touch and I sense a familiar power run through her body, odd warmth flowing from me into her and back again. The soreness fades from my limbs and my senses become sharper, the fugue in my brain lifting completely like a veil of smoke being blown away by the wind.

I feel more hurt to hear her cries with a clear mind, my arms moving around her gently as she does the same to me. She keeps whispering to me that she's sorry for lying, the words repeated over and over again as she keeps a firm grip on my back. My right-hand moves from her back to rub her head and hair but all this does is make her cry more, her arms tightening around me as she gets more fervent in her apologies. I don't take further action after that, remaining silent and letting my tears fall in empathy of her suffering. _It wasn't her choice...how can I blame her?_

It takes her a long time to wind down, her sobs decreasing in volume until all I can hear is her gasped breathing. I feel terrible inside and just want to forget everything that just happened but the more I try to forget, the more pressing the thoughts become. As if sensing my dilemma, Roeray shifts the subject by pulling lightly back from my grasp and staring at me with her emerald eyes. Though she still looks sad, she gives me a weak smile.

"I'm not bound to your will...but I'll...follow you...you gave me a part of yourself..." she whispers hoarsely between sniffles but I tense when she presses herself against me. It finally occurs to me that we're both naked and the only thing separating us from full contact is the blanket on my loins. I try to ignore the pleasant sensation of her skin, whispering tensely, "You don't need...to repay me for...anything...I just-"

"You gave me a part of yourself...let me do the same," she whispers into my ear and I let go of her in surprise when I feel something shift on her back. Her wings unfold grandly, black in shade with yellow and green patterns. They make her look twice as large and seeing these new wings pushes more old memories to the surface of my brain. I immediately identify the type of wings she has and the sense of familiarity eases my mind to calm. _Swallowtail...her wings are from a swallowtail butterfly...like the ones from Irlo..._

She places a hand gently against my neck but I don't feel it fully, automatically moving my right hand over her hand in a strangely intimate way. A feeling of warmth passes through her hand and she pulls it out of my grasp gently, my right hand already bringing up the necklace I'm wearing. On the chain that holds the Amulet of Unchanging is another trinket, a leaf made of glowing emerald sitting alongside the dull, golden coin.

"I will always know where you are and you will always find me in kind. Keep this close to you, Beric, so that we won't forget each other again," she pleads as she moves away, her dress of leaves reforming and her wings folding back behind her as she flops down next to me with an exhale of exhaustion. The aura of finesse and serenity fades as she starts giggling to herself, her finger playfully poking the left side of my face. There's plenty of undertones when she whispers, "You thought we were gonna do it, weren't you..."

"The thought did occur to me, yes..." I whisper in embarrassment, a snort from her nose accompanying her growing laughter. She reminds me of Aura at that moment and I feel humiliated for not keeping my emotions under control. Before I can feel overly foolish for my thoughts, she gently pulls my left hand from under the blanket and holds it, her touch tender to an uncomfortable degree. She whispers to me gently, "We can if you want...I'm okay with it-"

"Alright, time out!" I hear a voice shout from the rafters, my body jumping in surprise at the outside intrusion. I hear two thumps on the floor on our right and when I look over, Aura and Mare rise from their fall and glare at me in their unique ways. Aura speaks for both of them by saying, "Since when did you get to decide what to do!? If I recall, you're still our pet and have to do what we say so I _forbid_ you from sleeping with that...that thing!"

Roeray giggles in reply to her irritation, pressing herself against me suddenly and placing her arms around my neck. She glares at Aura and tells her in a mocking tone, "I've known him longer than you have. Do you feel insulted that he had someone else in his life before you?"

Aura starts to snap back at her but Mare interjects, saying firmly in reply, "We've cared for him with as much affection as you have. However, this is his decision to make on who he will stay with."

All eyes turn to me but my mind is already made up. The entire scenario feels ridiculous at how petty it is but I try to speak as clearly and calmly as possible, stating to all of them, "I have loyalties to each of you and I don't plan to forsake anyone here. I will obey Lord Ainz's decree to remain a subordinate of Aura and Mare-"

"You are so DENSE!" Aura shouts suddenly, the volume of her voice reverberating off the walls and surprising everyone present. She turns away with an angry groan and expression, all of us remaining in place and watching her go. Aura crosses the short distance to the nearby door at a brusque pace and doesn't bother to open it, a swift kick of her right leg smashing it off its hinges.

As she steps over the debris into the hallway, I'm not expecting the beings that peak into the room from the door-frame. Lord Ainz, Demiurge, and even Albedo and Shalltear lean into view, all of them silent and staring at us with intrigue and amusement. Their gazes remain uncomfortably on me for too long until Lord Ainz moves away first, ordering the others to give us our privacy while he gestures at the broken door on the ground.

The door reassembles and fits back into its frame as the guardians move away, the scene rewinding the broken door into its frame. I've never seen this type of magic before but before I can ponder on it further, Mare whispers in the growing silence, "Aura has abandonment issues...our creator left Yggdrasil before it collapsed and left us behind without a reason why...we don't want you to do the same to us..."

"Don't worry. I know what it's like to be abandoned. I'm not going anywhere," I whisper in reply, my voice firm and uncompromising for once. I'm unsure if Mare is convinced or not but it doesn't matter. I look over at Roeray and we share a silent moment, her head nodding eventually in mutual understanding and acceptance as I turn back to Mare. Mare is staring intently at me and becomes surprised when I ask him my next request.

"I need to go back to Irlo...but I would owe you a favour if you and Aura came with me..."


	16. MARTYR

**CHAPTER XVI: MARTYR**

* * *

I had to seek permission from Lord Ainz before proceeding and understandably, he didn't want me to return to Irlo at all. His elaborate ploy relied on me remaining dead to them and to go back would not only undo his plan but would frighten the people. A supposed dead man returning from incineration wouldn't be ideal for anyone and as a former resident of Irlo, I knew they would brand me an ill omen. Such things as necromancy and unnatural life were feared in the Slane Theocracy and since many from Irlo came from that kingdom, they feared the same. I told him that I only needed to head outside Irlo to a specific location. Lord Ainz didn't agree with this either but with enough guardians supporting the trip for personal reasons and with my stubbornness to complete what I started, he eventually relented on the condition that we didn't stay for too long.

Aura and Mare were enthusiastic to go specifically because of the favour I would owe them, both of them saying as much to Lord Ainz who laughed at such an obvious gain. They hadn't decided on what they would demand in return and the feeling of not knowing was unsettling. Nevertheless, I was thankful that they were coming along. I had no idea what I would find once I got there and was glad to have extra help in case the situation went badly.

Shalltear wanted to see the place where I was defeated and get a better understanding of who I was by where I lived. From the way she told Lord Ainz, however, there was a more sinister reason that she wanted to go. The level of her predation felt like it was reaching its maximum and I didn't know what she would do to me in such a state if she ever acted of her own accord. It started to make more sense why I wanted Aura and Mare along because their presence seemed to keep her in check.

Lord Ainz was curious why I wanted to go back to Irlo after all this time, a question that I dreaded him asking but knew he would ask. All eyes turned to me once he asked the dreaded question and I gave everyone a sad smile, my eyes closing as I nodded to myself in mental preparation for what needed to be said. I told them where we were going but Lord Ainz wasn't convinced, his right hand rising from his throne to conjure a mirror in the air. Without being told what it was, my hand reached forward with purpose and rotated the mirror towards me with a thought, the same hand tapping and swiping my fingers along the surface until I found what I was looking for. I turned the mirror back towards him after a few seconds to show him the result, Lord Ainz manipulating the mirror himself until he saw what he needed to see.

I showed him the place where my mother died and where I was created.

* * *

Lord Ainz had changed his mind slightly as we gated directly from the throne room to where we needed to go. He permitted us to take all the time we needed to explore the destination on the condition that we return with a full report of all findings. I agreed without hesitation, travelling through the dark portal first without looking back.

I step out of the gate onto the grass of the grove, a sense of melancholy and dread filling me upon seeing this place with different eyes. Despite the beautiful mix of flowers and the swarms of butterflies flying about, the dread doesn't diminish and grows worse when I see the small tree in the centre. A hand enters my right hand and I look to my right slowly, Roeray's dread apparent on her face. She tries to say something but can't find the words and I try to do the same but find myself with the same problem. I breathe through my nose and look ahead at the ominous tree, forcing the words out of my mouth instead of letting them come to me. "When I gave you part of myself...a part of my soul...it unlocked more memories..."

I start to move slowly towards the tree, Roeray walking silently next to me. A tumble of emotions try to take hold but I keep them at bay, my thoughts tumbling out as we walk. "They're her memories, of course...a gift that was unintentionally given to me..."

The tree isn't far from where we arrived and looks similar to the tree I created in the cave, my eyes quickly taking in the details as we approach. This tree is much smaller and is far more compact but radiates far more magical energy than the one I made. As we get closer, foreign memories keep tumbling in and out of my head at random. I try to make sense of the information, saying in a whisper to no one in particular, "She never meant to create you...or me...Isnadra's focus...was on creating...something valuable...but she wasn't a spell caster...she didn't know..."

"She tampered with magic she didn't understand," Roeray interjects sadly, my head nodding as I fall into a sombre silence. I feel her hand tighten on mine as she whispers to me, "Her stubbornness...she wanted success or death...I still don't know if she knew she succeeded...before the end..."

With my free hand, I reach out and touch the tree, a radiant warmth flowing through me as the spirit within recognizes my presence. Roeray puts her right hand on top of mine and a pulse passes through my body, an odd ripple that makes my skin tingle and my body shake lightly. I close my hand around her fingers as she closes her hand around mine, my voice fearful as I whisper, "We don't have to do this...we can just walk away now-"

"But we both need answers...and that means...completing the puzzle," Roeray whispers, a shuddering breath escaping me as I try to will myself to calm. My heart starts to hammer in my chest and I feel her hand start shaking. I understand all too well why we're afraid. _So much pain awaits..._

"The dawn...brings darkness...and light..." she whispers as her hands tighten around mine, our combined shaking getting worse as I realize she's deciding for me. Pulsing magic, like a heartbeat, flows through me, stinging slightly with each beat as I try to force the next words out. It takes me a few attempts to get the tremor in my voice under control, the words stumbling slightly as I whisper "...But light...can corrupt...and darkness...can save..."

The pain returns, part of my being sucked out and transferred to the tree. Both of us cry out from the vivid pain and I fall to my knees from the sudden agony, my left-hand stuck to the tree by an unknown force. Roeray has the same problem with her right hand and goes limp slightly, my right hand letting go of hers to hold onto her. It's hard to think through the pain but I try to endure the pulses of agony, inwardly hoping that the spell will succeed and dreading the possibility of repeating the process if it fails.

I gasp in surprise when my left hand is released from whatever force and the pain subsides, both of our hands falling away from the tree. The tree pulses with magic, the wood glowing brightly and shrinking down into a familiar ball of green light. I squint from the sudden brightness but try to watch what's happening, the ball forming rapidly into something else.

I tense when something leaps out of the ball of light straight towards me, the shape thumping into me lightly and becoming coherent in an instant. I'm slightly disoriented by the shape barking at me and panting in front of my face, their forepaws laying my shoulders. I see a wild pelt of green fur before a tongue starts to lick my face, my face reflexively turning away as a sense of familiarity grows from the action. My eyes widen when I turn back, my voice incredulous as I say to the shape, "Doris!? Are you Doris!?"

She looks bigger than I remember and has a wilder mane of green fur around her neck but there's no mistaking that this is the same strange dog I used to play with from my childhood. Her bark and licking pattern only emphasize the similarities and despite the pain I feel, I start to rub her fur with my left hand enthusiastically, smiling widely at another familiar face coming to life. _I wasn't crazy...they were both real all this time..._

"Is that a fern hound!? I don't have one of those!" Aura shouts in excitement from behind me, her right hand reaching over my left shoulder to pet the green fur of the hound. It shocks me how close she got without me knowing but I pay her no mind, keeping my focus on the hound. She shakes herself as if removing something from her fur but allows herself to be petted, her tongue licking my face with too much enthusiasm.

Roeray groans lightly and adjusts her grip on me, moving her arm over my left shoulder lightly and petting the fern hound with her right hand. She leans against me more heavily from exhaustion as she says groggily to the hound, "Even in the future...you drain our energy with how active you are...you little ball of energy..."

The hound barks and yawns in reply but starts glowing faintly with green light, the light familiar and jogging more memories in my exhausted mind. I move my right arm off of Roeray with a tired groan and place my right hand in front of the hound, using my abilities to see what she could tell me. A blue box forms and the clouds blocking information dissipate on their own, revealing everything without the need for commands.

It isn't surprising that the hound was created by Isnadra and I start to understand more of what happened. I lightly push the hound by the centre of their belly to make them move off me, the hound resisting at first but obeying eventually. Getting to my feet is difficult and I stumble back to the ground when I try, Roeray bracing my left arm over her shoulder and helping me up despite her exhaustion. Together, we rise unsteadily to our feet and I groan as we stand up, my body still in pain from the earlier exertion. I whisper in mounting unease, "We're...we're accidents...she didn't mean to make us...she was trying to...do something else...but-"

"-she didn't have the knowledge to manipulate the magic she commanded...so the spell failed...and it split her into piece...into us..." Roeray finishes, her voice choked with emotions as she starts shaking. Even Doris became less enthusiastic in reply, whining at us in dismay as I gesture with a hand for them to come closer. The hound moves slowly forward and stops in front of me, my surprise rising when Roeray reaches towards Doris and pulls something from a blue box that appears. An elaborate sword in its sheath enters her hand, the style and design recognizable and staggering in its authenticity. She offers the blade to me, whispering weakly, "Doris...she inherited Isnadra's possessions...and this is-"

I nod my head in understanding and take the sword from her grip lightly, feeling strange humming energy through my hand while I groggily take a step away from both of them. My body feels numb and tired but I angrily try to stay upright, moving the sword to the right side of my hip and letting it form a belt of leaves around my waist to stay attached. I let my body do what it was taught to do, relaxing my stance and drawing both the new blade and Aura's knife in a quick but smooth movement. Both blades sing out of their sheaths and glow with dim green light as the ancient sword releases its magic, enhancing my body and making me feel calm and focused. Foreign memories try to guide me but I block them out completely, adjusting my grip on both weapons as I prepare myself. _I know how to do this..._

All considerations fall away as I go through the techniques of the Two Heavens as One style, my movements feeling smoother and with purpose rather than with blind obedience of my prior training. The blades sing through the air as I go through my sets, both weapons humming with old magic renewed again. I don't have to think about each motion, feeling them through my muscles and swinging each weapon in a steady flow. Something that Cocytus had said during training finally makes sense to me and I smile as I perform what he taught me.

**There are few techniques but each must be precise. **

I complete a final set and return the weapons to their sheaths in another smooth motion, exhaling in exhilaration but with a hint of melancholy. I hear sarcastic clapping behind me and turn around slowly, Shalltear giving me her applause from the same place we arrived from. She turns around to enter a gate she summons without a word, the final glimpse of her face showing her disapproval.

Aura and Mare move way to enter the gate Shalltear made. Aura doesn't look back but Mare turns back when he reaches the gate. Tears are on his face momentarily before he wipes them away with a hand and goes through the portal of magic. I don't understand why he's crying but Roeray and Doris move towards the gate as well, Doris leading the way with careful strides as Roeray pulls my right hand lightly. Though I'm confused, I obey her will and gingerly follow the path she makes with a sense of ease.

The grove starts to wilt and die as the magic that animated it diminishes. Roeray stops for a moment to cast ****Nature's Revival**** aloud, the decaying grove changing into more forest that blends seamlessly into the surroundings. As we walk through the gate together, I feel my sense of ease become the sense of calm and closure that I wanted to feel but never thought I would experience.

One part of the journey was over but there was plenty to do.


	17. CLOSURE

**CHAPTER XVII: CLOSURE**

* * *

Demiurge is expecting us when we walk out of the gate but rather than his usual smile and warm demeanour, his face is a mask of seriousness and concentration. He nods to himself and gestures for us to sit across from him but he keeps his attention on the books on the table rather than us. His voice is strained as he tells us hastily, "I've never seen a failed life spell shatter the soul of a supreme being...but Shalltear was right...you all resonate with the same magic...magic recorded and indexed by the Great Tomb of Nazarick as Isnadra Miaxsys' magic-"

Doris climbs onto the table and deposits something in front of Demiurge with her mouth, the guardian stopping in his studies and placing a hand curiously on the new object. His hand lightly brushes the book cover, the bark of a tree inscribed with elvish runes, looking up at me for an explanation. Roeray is the one to give the answer to his unspoken question, her voice confident and knowing. "This is Isnadra's diary of the events as she recorded them, unlocked and ready for integration into Nazarick's libraries. We don't need it anymore since we know its contents."

Demiurge smiles widely as he starts manipulating magic with his hands, the book floating inside blue bands of light as he taps and swipes a blue box that appears near his right hand. The book slowly rotates and comes apart, flash burning and disappearing in an instant. A few more adjustments are followed by a final tap to his box, a parchment scroll appearing from the box and pulled away by his hand.

It takes him tense moments to read the scroll, his head nodding but his demeanour becoming grimmer as he reaches the end. He tosses the scroll away, the scroll disappearing as he directs his attention back to us. He nods his head lightly as he explains, "She was never much of a scholar...but Isnadra provided an interesting insight into this world. Like Lord Ainz, she can't explain how she arrived here but her documentation of her state of mind and some of the events of her stay are done quite well-"

"She remained neutral even as other supreme beings came to the New World and conquered it...the Dragon Lords, the six Great Gods...and everything beyond those times...she lived it all..." I add numbly, my mind finding it hard to grasp the number of years Isnadra had been alive. Even with the knowledge that elves and dragons could live for thousands of years, it still feels unreal to hear it and to experience it second hand. Demiurge looks pleased with this knowledge, chuckling to himself as he interrupts my thoughts jokingly with, "It's funny...a supreme being, beings that are known to alter the world they live in...Isnadra remained neutral all those years and tried _not_ to change anything... it's the complete opposite of the being we knew from Yggdrassil."

He stops in his amusement and eyes me with concern, leaning forward on his elbows and locking his hands together as he adds, "None of you wanted this life...but Nazarick can't allow you to follow her example...you three are far too valuable now to simply go to waste as she did-"

"I'm aware of this. Beric swore an oath of loyalty to show his worth," Roeray jokes as she nudges me with her right elbow, my face becoming embarrassed from having my error exposed so bluntly. She laughs lightly to herself as she adds with amusement, "It'll be like old times! I'll keep this danger prone boy from hurting himself too much."

"Yeah..." I whisper in reply, feeling suddenly tired physically and emotionally now that we accomplished our task. Demiurge replies to my exhaustion by gesturing with his right hand to open a gate on his right, ordering us informally to rest until we were ready for the next phase of the plan. I can barely nod my head and find it difficult to rise from my chair, my limbs feeling numb as I try to stay upright and walk towards the gate.

I only make it halfway there before Roeray has to help me walk the rest of the distance.

* * *

It feels greatly comforting to be back in my room in E-Rantel but I correct my thinking slightly upon arriving. The room belonged to the three of us and I wasn't sure how Aura and Mare would react to the news. Yet to emphasize the change in ownership, Doris makes a path to one of the room's corners and uses her magic on the space. The wood of the wall grows unnaturally and shapes into a wooden hiding spot covered in leaves and flowering plants, one that she slows in front of and sniffs curiously. It's comical to see the hound rush inside their new den once they're finished sniffing and turn around within to peak out of the entrance, a weak smile crossing my face at viewing her familiar silliness.

"It's good to have you back, Doris..." I whisper with some effort as Roeray helps me across the room. My body feels tired beyond what it should and it's a struggle to keep my feet from scraping against the floor. Roeray starts chuckling lightly to herself as we get closer, saying in an amused whisper, "Just like old times...I have to carry you everywhere..."

Before I can try to refute her, she moves my left arm off her shoulders and pushes my back, my body flopping forward into bed with too much force. I don't have enough cohesion or time to correct my fall so I flop onto the bed face down, exhaling in relief at finally laying down. A wave of exhaustion starts to take over but hands flip me over and move me to one side of the bed, a light grunt escaping me at being moved around so roughly. My body tries to doze off but something rubs my right arm, warmth flowing from the point of contact. The fugue of exhaustion lifts slightly and I exhale more out of frustration than relief, letting my frustration enter my voice when I groan, "You could've healed me the entire time-"

"Stop talking," Roeray whispers quickly and my body tenses when she moves on top of me. Arms move over my shoulders and hands hold my upper back, her smile mischievous but mixed with nervousness. I can't stare at her for long because her gaze makes me uncomfortable but when I look away, she nudges me back towards her with her nose pushing my face.

Roeray's right-hand moves to my face so her fingers can run across the scales slowly as if searching for something. Her thumb rubs my left cheek lightly and I force myself to look into her eyes, seeing the mix of nervousness and mischief becoming regret, happiness, and want. Her mood swings seem random and I remain tense, not knowing what she intends. The only reason I move my left hand to hold the hand on my cheek is out of curiosity.

Her self control slips then break completely. She pushes away my left hand and uses both of her hands grab my head, her lips awkwardly pressing against mine in a forceful move. Panic is my first reaction to our lips meeting but the panic is slowly overwritten by other emotions, the predominant one being a sense of relief. I feel comfortable with her taking the lead despite the awkwardness and my exhaustion fades with each moment of physical contact. I force myself to hold her with only my right arm to avoid the odd sensation of the scales but she, in reply, ignores the concern and presses herself against the scales of my chest.

"It's okay...don't be ashamed..." she whispers in a comforting tone between kisses and I shiver slightly when she rubs the left side of my back slowly with her hand. I'm not sure if subtle magic is at play but I try not to think too much about what's happening and focus on mirroring her affection and understanding my own emotions. Her soft skin and warmth help me lose more and more of my doubts until I'm comfortable enough with what's happening to stop hesitating.

She was waiting for this moment of collapse because her tongue enters my mouth once I'm feeling less nervous. Though my panic starts to rise again, she comforts me by rubbing my scaled back and going slower with her affection. However, she makes sure I can't pull away from her by pushing me into the bedding beneath me. It's a clear sign that she's the one making this happen yet once she has her fill, she leans back slightly with a breath in satisfaction.

"There's more than one reason I'm doing this...and I think...I think I'm ready to tell you..." she whispers timidly, my head nodding lightly to give her some physical cue to continue speaking. Roeray closes her eyes and exhales in both frustration and amusement, laughing in an unsettling manner before fixing me in a harsh glare. Just by looking at her face and into her eyes, I can feel her ire and I pale slightly from the sight.

"You're the lucky one...you don't have the range of emotions that I do..." she whispers threateningly and I nod my head a few times to agree without knowing what I'm agreeing to. Her face softens only slightly and she moves her head over my left shoulder, whispering dangerously into my ear, "She loved him...Warrior Takemikazuchi...the one who trained her...but his focus was on his code of honour and his enjoyment of the world of Yggdrasil...Isnadra was blind from her obsession for him..."

"Something you inherited?" I whisper lightly but her reply is to bump her head into the side of my head. I grunt in surprise then chuckle lightly, adjusting my hold on her and waiting for her reply. There's slight irritation in her voice as she continues. "I'll be blunt since you're being impatient...we're made as images of what Isnadra wanted in life...I'm her ideal image...the pure elvish maiden...Doris is the pet she never had...can you take a guess what you are?"

"I'm the man she couldn't let go..." I answer glumly, feeling the pieces fall into place with this new revelation. It made more sense why the Two Heavens as One style is something I gravitated towards and why I agreed with the Bushido code so readily when Cocytus taught it to me. Even the title of young master made more sense and I start to wonder if Cocytus already knew who I mirrored. But Roeray breaks my reverie by nudging my cheek with hers, my mind snapping back to the here and now on command.

"I'm not...Isnadra..." she whispers forcefully and I understood her sentiment, lifting my left arm subconsciously to look at the dull scales that coated the top parts of the skin. I clench and unclench my hand a few times before exhaling through my nose and returning the arm to her lower back, my hold on her tightening as she does the same to me. I try to sound sure of myself but can't manage it, whispering glumly with understanding, "I know what you mean..."

I'm not expecting her to start crying but hold her closer and use my right hand to brush her head when she does. She tightens her grip on me and I feel my control of myself slip as well, silently letting tears form in my eyes and fall down my face. The revelations reach their inevitable conclusion, rocking us both to our cores. _We're mistakes...shards of others...we weren't meant to have a life..._

"I don't know if what I feel is real or just a flaw! I hate it!" Roeray yells over my shoulder and I wince when I feel her fingers dig into the skin of my upper back. I don't know what to say to her so I remain silent, Roeray gaining more desperation and fervour as she shouts further. "It's not fair! Why couldn't Isnadra have succeeded and not put us through this!? Why do we have to live a life that wasn't meant to be! I just...I don't know who I am any more!"

A spark of defiance rekindles within me from her words, one that I had felt before when the events of the last few months had started. It had given me the strength to fight Lord Ainz even though I knew I'd lose and to endure everything that came after. Using this spark, I manoeuvrer Roeray with my left arm so that I can see her face, moving my right hand to wipe away her tears with my thumb as she stares back at me in anguish and outrage. Clarity replaces the confusion and I finally understand what we're feeling and why we're reacting the way we are. _It's fear...the fear that our lives aren't ours...that our lives are meaningless...but fear can be overcome..._

"It doesn't matter if our lives are a mistake or not...we'll face what comes next together..." I whisper to her as confidently as I can manage but her reaction is odd. Her face goes from anguish to a rueful smile as she closes her eyes and starts laughing quietly to herself. I'm confused and upset by her dismissive reaction but she explains through her growing laughter, "That was...the mushiest thing you've said to me...ever..."

"Agreed..." I admit with embarrassment as she continues to laugh and I start to feel foolish for saying anything. I only relax when she stops laughing and smiles at with a warm, comforting smile. She goes upright and straddles my crotch silently, pulling me up with her awkwardly and holding me close. I fumble a little to return her hold as she whispers into my right ear, "We're the same person so having sex with me isn't going to ruin your chances with anyone else...so...why the two dark elves?...aren't they a bit young?...or are you just clinging to anything that shows you compassion?"

"A frightening situation with twins keeping me safe and helping me grow?... I may have considered the idea..." I reply guiltily but rather than laughing or mocking me for my openness, Roeray nods her head and kisses me on the left cheek a few times. I feel my body relax further as her lips touch my skin and she whispers dangerously as she does so, "You need to be careful with the two of them...not only are they innocent in personality...if you hurt them emotionally, they'll kill you-"

"I'm aware of that, thanks," I reply in a rare moment of arrogance but I'm immediately punished with another painful headbutt from an irritated Roeray. This impact is worse because it disorients me for a moment, my eyes closing as I feel my equilibrium shift and readjust awkwardly. She allows my senses to adjust before saying with amusement, "So what about the vampire? You already know she gets excited from your suffering...did she corrupt your mind for you to like being abused?"

"She's...unique...and the abuse isn't that...bad...?" I answer in an unsure tone but I can feel Roeray's eyes boring into me, her knowing smile only making my attempts to evade her question more embarrassing. I exhale in frustration and relent under the pressure, saying hastily while looking away, "Alright, she may be a psychopath but I'm curious if that's all she is...maybe there's more to her then that...but I won't learn if I'm afraid of a little pain-"

"You're a deviant..." she whispers while angling my head towards her, my eyes closing as she kisses me on the lips. The moment stretches out but she doesn't let it develop further, her lips breaking away as she states, "So you have no issue with not only having more than one partner...which is immoral to some... you're going to try to win over twin children...and a corpse...all of which is immoral-"

"I'm a half-elf dragon...my life is abnormal enough...what's a little more strange?" I whisper with a genuine smile, Roeray laughing to herself but quickly moving into more kisses. I can already feel self-control start to slip and I let the loss of awareness come, letting myself follow her lead as she wants. We both know what's coming and gasp in a shared release from finally connecting physically. She doesn't let me speak further, her kisses blocking any attempts to ruin the mood.

With no reason to hold back, we both lose ourselves in the moment.


	18. SWITCH

**CHAPTER XVIII: SWITCH**

* * *

The physical sensations of skin contact and dirtiness are the first things I feel. There's a mix of euphoria and exhaustion wandering around my body and when I open my eyes slowly, Roeray is awake and sliding her fingers across the scales on my face. Her wide smile and amused eyes are framed by tangled brown hair, her usual appearance of grace lost. I blink a few times in surprise, wondering for a moment if anything is real or not.

"Why are you...tracing my scales...?" I whisper as she runs her fingers along my cheek, down my chin, then down my neck. She doesn't answer with words, her hands gently gliding across my shoulders then holding my upper back to bring me into an embrace. I return her embrace but vibrate slightly when she moves her head over my left shoulder, her mouth gently nibbling on my right ear. I try to turn my head away from the sensation but she follows my movement, chuckling to herself and stopping after a few moments of enjoying me squirm. Her face rubs against mine slowly as she whispers, "I know you too well...a strong, feminine guide makes you feel comfortable...and I have that in surplus..."

I move to a sitting position in an attempt to change the topic and Roeray allows it, her body reorienting with mine so that she's still holding me. She yawns more for show then exhaustion, smiling and closing her eyes as she stretches her arms out and allows her black butterfly wings to unfold from her back. It still surprises me how the black wings appear and disappear so readily, the wings still making her seem larger and more intimidating in size when they're visible. A rueful smile crosses her face and her wings disappear, her body re-embracing me as she says, "From what I know about dragons, I'm supposed to gift you gold or valuables to court you...we skipped that step entirely...did I overdo it?"

"We overdid it...and isn't there a section about the elvish bodily union and how-" I state with a smile but stop mid-sentence when something clicks in my brain. I look at Roeray with new understanding and she smiles wider when she notices me paying attention, her teeth showing as she taps my nose playfully with her nose. She closes her eyes and whispers with relief, "Now you get it?...do I need to explain the context?"

"So if I do this...get physically involved with...wait..." I whisper with apprehension but my mind whirls with all the thoughts that were surfacing from this new revelation. I exhale and focus, closing my eyes and doing my best to create coherent thoughts to form into coherent sentences. All the while, Roeray is giggling to herself and rubbing her body against me, further breaking my concentration as she adds, "Use your words...I know we had a lot of fun but you need to go back to having coherence now..."

"Elven customs...sex, to them, is binding...a coupling of individuals...their version of marriage...and if I...go that far with Aura or Mare..." I whisper with plenty of unease, Roeray giggling to herself and tapping an index finger against my nose in reply. Both actions feel far too relaxed for the seriousness of the subject but Roeray keeps smiling and switches her tone to one of teaching. "That's why you need to think about what you plan to do...you don't have to do anything you don't want to but there are consequences either way...its more a matter of living with the consequences you choose..."

It's my turn to chuckle but the exhale that follows is more stressed and nervous then it should be. It feels like a large weight of responsibility is being placed on my body but such a feeling isn't uncommon given the past months. Roeray angles my head with her left hand so that I'm eye to eye with her again, her smile fading to a neutral line that's still scary to witness. Her neutrality caries into her voice when she whispers, "That's why we went ahead and did bodily things to drive out your urges...if you're going to chase other relationships, do it for the right reasons, not the wrong ones-"

"Why does that sound so predatory when you say it...?" I whisper jokingly, Roeray smiling and letting go of me quickly with a giggle. Her black wings appear on her back and flutter, picking her up and sending her to the edge of the bed but facing my direction. A dress of leaves forms on her body as she puts her hands on her hips and sits cross-legged, her torso leaning forward as she says with amusement, "I'm saying what you're afraid to say because you're afraid to say it. It was like that when you were younger too...Then again, you weren't a half-elf dragon back then and even now, I'm not _quite_ convinced that your physical urges are sated...that's not an invitation. We both know what you need to do now."

"Shalltear...while we slept...she told me she wanted to talk to me privately at her estate..." I whisper with unease, the idea of being conscious while sleeping unwanted but inevitable. Roeray turns herself around and slides onto the floor, thumping against the wood and rising to her feet while stretching her arms. She moves over to the window nearby, her hands opening it and allowing the gentle breeze to enter the room and ruffle her hair back into a less tangled mess.

"We both know she isn't a woman that likes to be patient. You better get going soon," she says over her shoulder before turning back to the view outside and humming a tune to herself. She leans to the left slightly to let a green blur jump past her through the window and I smile at Doris already moving to explore her new environment. I roll gracelessly out of bed the same direction Roeray did and land back first on the floor, feeling the wood beneath me pulse as my body responds to the nature around me. The grime on my skin is absorbed into the ground and when I stand to my feet, I feel more healthy then I'd ever been. Looking over at Roeray, I notice that she's slightly shorter now and the room is at a slightly new height perspective. I don't dwell on this for long, walking calmly over to the window and joining her. Roeray starts trying to contain her laughter but fails, the laughter slipping out every so often.

"You don't have the same abilities I do...unless you plan to expose yourself to the world now?" she jokes, my smile leaving my face as my left-hand reaches down and brushing bare skin and scales. I reach with my left hand to the side and pull my simple tan pants from a blue box, putting them on in a hurry with feelings of embarrassment and the sound of Roeray's laughter. I start smiling and chuckling as well and reply to her laughter with, "I don't think the world needs such a thing yet...plus there's a procedure-"

Roeray snorts and shoves me by the left shoulder playfully, my smile becoming a grin as I right myself and keep chuckling a little longer. She sounds both amused and frustrated when she states, "I see getting you off has made you a little arrogant. You might wanna keep that under control when you go visit Shalltear."

"I will...thanks, Roeray..." I say in a grateful tone, my left hand reaching over and holding her left gently. She automatically closes her hand on mine and shakes her head, exhaling through her nose with a smile and replying with, "You don't have to prove your love...you already did...you know, physically and all...thanks for that, by the way...I was very afraid that you'd resist my advances..."

"Why would I do that? We both needed to unwind after what we've been through," I reply while moving my right hand up to my neck, the hand wrapping around the twin pendants still around my neck. Both trinkets vibrate with power, something that they didn't do before but the feeling puts me at ease rather than the usual unease. Roeray lets go of my hand and turns to me, a woosh of magic on my right signalling a gate opening. Before I can grasp what's happening, she shoves me lightly by the shoulder with both hands, my body careening off balance into the portal. I fall into the portal backwards, seeing her smiling face as she gives me her farewell advice.

"Good luck, don't die, and keep relaxed!"

* * *

My exposed back brushes cold stone but I push off the ground with my hands and spring to my feet. The calmness I feel is replaced with caution as I slowly turn my body in place, my eyes scanning surroundings rapidly as my senses absorb what information they can. A stone crypt with musty pillars is my first sight, the torches on the pillars providing only bare minimum light. The atmosphere feels still and empty, the smell of burnt material from the torches the only true smell in the air. Among the dark areas are elaborate tombs lined up in several rows, each one ominous yet designed to look regal with inscriptions and artistry.

I tense when I hear stone grinding on stone, turning to the source of the noise and witnessing one of the tombs open from the inside. Heavy stone slams onto the ground with an echoing bang and a swarm of dark butterflies explode out of the open resting place. Their presence warps the light with a dark purple radiance that swirls around the entire crypt. I focus on the tomb and wait, tensing as the swarm starts to compress into a solid form.

All of the torches go out in the crypt at once before I can get a good look at the figure but although I can't see in complete darkness, I can sense their presence through the magic they exude and the movements they make. I try to stay oriented towards the form, a hummed tune filling the surrounding darkness with a frightful but familiar sound. I move to a knee upon recognizing the noise, bowing my head in the dark as the tune becomes harsh laughter.

"The Grave Vault of Adipocere...not truly a tomb since it lacks some of the finer elements...like the smell of the dead and the abundance of bodies...but I call it home nonetheless," Shalltear states playfully but I tense and close my eyes, stretching my senses as far as they can to pinpoint her exact location. Even stretching my senses to their limit, I can barely locate her specific location and start to believe she's using a form of countermagic to hide her presence. I quickly ignore the distraction as it forms, knowing on a primal level that I can't fight her even at full strength. The only option is to show obedience and hope that she doesn't harm me too badly.

"Hello there," she whispers from nearby as I feel a hand lift my head, my eyes opening to find her staring directly at me. She's kneeling in front of me in her formal black gown and her eyes glow bright pink in the dark. I feel magic start to break into my mind and let the magic in, the familiar sense of ease and calm flooding my head. It feels like someone is brushing my thoughts lightly to peel away the ones that aren't necessary and though it feels like a long time, I only count the intrusion lasting twelve seconds based on a strange tremor in the background. I slowly recognize the sound, pondering to myself what the source could be. _A heartbeat...her heartbeat...or mine?..._

"You've changed...you're afraid of me but not because of ignorance...why do you fear me now?" she whispers seductively, her magic still overwriting my will and compelling me to answer truthfully. My voice sounds calm and clear as I reply gently, "You enjoy my fear. I feel it's appropriate not to lie about my emotions."

Laughter is her reply, the sound echoing around the space and the action twisting her face in psychotic happiness. She rises to her feet grandly and roughly pulls me upwards with her hands under my arms. My body obeys her will due to the magic and she holds my left shoulder in a sharp grip, her nails piercing the skin of my shoulder and drawing a small amount of blood. She looks slightly shorter than I remember.

"I see! Let's go somewhere more appropriate for this conversation then!" she states as she embraces me closely. A rush of magic flows around us, the dark power moving us to some other place in an instant. Teleportation done so rapidly disorients me again, my senses reeling but Shalltear letting go of me and turning away. She pulls my left hand to force me to keep up with her, my body struggling to keep up in my disoriented state.

The surroundings are dead but not, the scenery that I witness a dark mirror of a grand garden. Unnatural trees and flowers create a pattern of mixing colours but none of the colours or shapes feels correct. The smells are all off as well and there's no escaping the sense of perversion and wrongness that fills me. Shalltear comments on my feelings by saying with amusement, "This land is meant to be a beautiful blend of the unnatural. Dead things aren't meant to be alive, correct?"

"But...how is this possible?..." I say in disbelief but she ignores my question, her pace remaining firm as she pulls me along a trodden dirt path. We spend tense moments travelling this unnatural domain and I feel my dread of this place increase further when we reach a structure in the middle of the garden. An elaborate home sits among a fenced off garden of death, dark iron bars protecting an inner structure of white painted wood with black roofing and details. The size and grandeur of the home are well and truly extravagant and with gentle hand motions, Shalltear opens the outer gate and the front doors gently. She pays the inner garden as much mind as the outer one and pulls me up a flight of stairs into the inner foyer of the home. The double doors swing open without her gesturing at all, revealing a darkly decorated two-story avenue draped in woven tapestries hung from the upper walkways. Like the estate in E-Rantel, the decorations around us are of artistry and wealth akin to nobility, dark metal, black stone, and darkened wood shaped and carved into elaborate fixtures and furnishings._ And she's merely a servant to a greater power... _

I follow her in silence past the bowed servants in their white dresses, noting their pale skin and red eyes similar to their master. I don't mean to shiver at how threatening a situation this is and Shalltear chuckles to herself when she feels the tremors running through my hand. She continues regardless, leading me to the grand staircase in the back of the house while stating, "Lord Ainz himself decreed that you are of use to us. Don't fear that which is on your side."

She chuckles darkly as she climbs the stairs, more servants standing on the stairs and bowing as one as we pass. Shalltear pays them no mind, her right hand pulling me along as we reach the upper walkways. A short trip places us in front of a set of wooden double doors, two servants bowing at the waist as they gently open the doors. There's no mistaking the slight change in the confidence of Shalltear when she walks through the opening.

She releases my hand and gestures for me to take a seat at the small table nearby, my body still for a few seconds before obeying her command. Her form crosses gracefully and sits in a high backed chair at the table. I try to mimic her smooth transition of crossing the space but find my pace clumsy and rushed, her laughter emphasizing my crudeness. More servants appear to pour her a drink in a fine porcelain cup, the servants doing the same for me as I slowly sit down in a similar chair across from Shalltear. The table has more drinks and snacks placed on its surface but my focus is on Shalltear as her eyes firmly judge my presence.

Shalltear breaks eye contact after tense moments and lifts the cup to her mouth, gently sipping the contents as I try to match her etiquette. I take a sip of the odd coloured drink in the cup, a warm, rich, and intoxicating mix of sweet and savoury filling my mouth. I have to hastily put down the cup because she puts down her cup sooner than expected, her face smiling at me as she watches me fumble to put the cup gently. She sounds far more polite and friendly when she explains, "This drink is a blend of chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla without overpowering levels of sugar. It takes ample time to get the right mixture but the results are very nice. This drink never quite has the same flavour twice."

My curiosity gets the better of me and I gently pick up my cup and drink from it again, the flavours now slightly different and changing in my mouth as I put the cup down. Shalltear laughs as I do so, her face oddly comforting and non-hostile compared to other times I've seen her. Her tone matches her pleasantness and she continues with, "They call the flavour Neapolitan but I don't know where they get the name."

"Thank you..." I state with minimal conviction, my head nodding as I ponder the oddness of the situation and wonder why I'm here. Shalltear grins at me to expose her fangs and suddenly changes to a different topic. "I didn't expect you to live this long in our service. Forced servitude has a habit of destroying new talent or driving it to madness. Though you've experienced both, you seem to be in fine health."

"I didn't survive alone...I had plenty of help...even from you..." I say but the predatory smile that comes into being on her face makes me regret complimenting her. She moves to a smug smile as she nods her head in confirmation of something, her smile not wavering as she comments knowingly, "Your heartbeat is increasing, Beric. I can practically feel it bursting out of your chest."

"Why am I here?" I ask her suddenly but Shalltear chuckles to herself instead of answering, the sound unnerving and making my panic return quickly. The spell on me has truly worn off so my calmness is replaced with a growing sense of fear. Though I try to keep calm and overcome the unease, her next words make my attempts at calm fruitless.

"You're here to tell me all about your plans."


	19. INTEGRATION

**CHAPTER XIX: INTEGRATION**

* * *

The conversation with Shalltear was surprisingly straightforward and didn't contain any of what I feared she would ask. Though she wanted to know quite a few things, what she wanted to know most was what I needed to remain loyal to Nazarick and what plans I had for the future. The first question was more difficult to answer but I told her what I believed. I had no reasons to aid Nazarick other than the oath of loyalty sworn to Lord Ainz and there wasn't anything I could think of that would change that stance. She dismissed my thought, informing me that the loyalty injection Demiurge put into my head had worn out long ago and that I had already been following the will of Lord Ainz without outside influence. It surprised her that I didn't lash out once the serum wore off but it was my ignorance of the situation, rather than any effort on my part, that prevented such reactions.

Her solution to this problem was simple but harsh. I was to undergo a magical ritual to permanently bind me as a servant to Nazarick, my decision affecting Roeray and Doris as well due to the soul binding. I didn't decide at that time because I needed their input first, Shalltear feigning politeness and telling me she understood. However, we both knew that she was disappointed with my mediocre answer and would have preferred if I chose right then and there.

She interrupted my answer to her second question by rising from her chair and walking around the table to pull me by the hand out of my chair. She gently guides me into a gate and we pass through it slowly, the elegant manor quickly replaced with a darkened cave. A single being is visible in the cave, crimson light spilling from their shelled body the only source of light. Shalltear introduced them as Kyouhukou, the 2nd-floor guardian and the equivalent of a giant cockroach noble. Though his size and magic projected an aura of intimidation that made me uneasy, Shalltear pulled me towards him anyway to make proper introductions.

My initial assumptions were shattered as the large being bowed to us and talked to us in a well-mannered accent despite his appearance. He knew of me all too well and understood why I was here more than I did. He then took Shalltear aside for a one on one conversation, leaving me in the darkness alone. Though they whispered, I could hear the conversation well enough in the silence but tried to ignore the words and give them their privacy. Once they finish talking about whatever they were talking about, he bid us both good luck and farewell. I don't have enough time to process anything before Shalltear moves us to another gate, my mind whirling at such a strange encounter.

A giant artificial lake stretched out in front of us, the lake set in an underground cavern dimly lit by glowing crystals of magical stone. Shalltear pointed at the lifeless, 30-meter tall rock that dominated the centre of the lake, calling them the guardian Gargantua. I was told that it was just a construct and didn't have sentience until it was activated. She pulled me towards another gate and I started to slightly understand what Shalltear was doing. I still didn't understand why.

The 5th-floor I was already familiar with, the glacier home to Cocytus that I had spent some time in. It made me unexpectedly happy to see him again, so happy that I had broken myself free of Shalltears grip just to approach him. Though he had a cold outer shell, I embraced him as best I could, surprised that he did the same to me so readily. Both of us dropped our exterior facades, embracing a moment of compassion among those once separated. There was so much I wanted to say to him but we didn't have time and Shalltear was trying to guide me to other places. The most he could do for me was give me parting words as Shalltear pulled me into another gate, the words ringing in my head as we pass through the field of magic. _I will await your return still...and it will be a day of triumph...or sorrow..._

The screams of a man being tortured were my introduction to Neuronist Painkill, a special intelligence torturer in her chambers called the Frozen Prison. The room was well lit and smelled of blood and bile from the unfortunate being strapped to a slab. Despite the grotesqueness of the surroundings and the gruesomeness of the host herself, she was as polite as Kyouhukou had been. Her initial, unsubtle comment was that if I ever decided to impregnate Aura, it would be an excellent addition to their staff. I agreed simply to be polite but Shalltear didn't take this well, her nails slashing my left arm subtlety and carving a bloody chasm into the scales. As we finished our meeting and I left the prison me clutching my left arm as it healed, I felt rather enlightened from Painkill's eloquent final words. _Believe in your strength, deary...Magic, power, wealth, and tricks will not overcome what self-confidence and humility will. _

Aura and Mare took over the moment we stepped out of the gate, the pair rushing me around the 6th floor with Shalltear keeping pace with mixed emotions. They introduced me to the Green Hole village that had a variety of demi-humans and farming communities, the place surprisingly peaceful and coordinated despite the varied races that inhabited it. After seeing it myself, I started to believe that it was possible to try and overcome the prejudice against non-humans, something that the Slane Theocracy tried to push out of my head for some time. It only made me hate the foolish nation more that they would foster hatred so bluntly.

The beings I met in Green Hole at the behest of Aura agreed that Lord Ainz was the key to a unified peace, something that I didn't refute. But before I could see more, Shalltear took over again and cut the visit short to the dismay of the two dark elves, both of them trying to convince her to let me stay longer. Both of them ceased their arguments when Shalltear reminded them that Lord Ainz's task came first and that personal time came second. As we're about to pass through another gate, however, Aura commanded me to visit them when I was available. I had planned to anyway and they seemed too relieved that I would return.

Demiurge followed the pattern by personally giving me a tour of his temple on the 7th floor, a ruined building of smashed pillars and desecrated statues of gods. The surroundings were a lava rich landscape that resembled a description as hell and he noted with amusement that everything here was merely a show-piece. His real home was the study and laboratory that he keeps hidden on the 7th floor and it made me very humble to know that I was one of the few who had seen it given my rare condition and the interest of Lord Ainz. If not for those initial curiosities, we may have never met at all.

He commented that I had not gone mad from having my humanity robbed from me and congratulated me on surviving this long in service to Lord Ainz. I retorted that I never had good connections with people, to begin with, and that my family in Irlo was something I felt disconnected from. His subtlety ended there, the same evil smile crossing his face as he wished me well and hoped that I would accept the magical ritual to bind me to the service of Nazarick. As Shalltear led me onwards, I finally started to understand what was happening. _They're trying to convince me to stay...temptation maybe?_

There was no going to the 8th floor by decree of Lord Ainz so we proceeded to the 9th floor immediately. I was in absolute awe as I walked out of the gate, the elaborate halls around us shouting of wealth and class beyond anything a mortal king could dream of. Shalltear explained as we strolled that this was where the supreme beings had once resided, my curiosity piqued as I try to gain some insight into the beings with each room we pass. We eventually stopped at the room belonging to Lord Ainz himself, the darkly decorated space of black silk and dark wood feeling homier instead of regal and oppressive.

Albedo greeted us to Lord Ainz's, her pace a bit hurried when she moved on to other tasks. Shalltear was polite to Albedo, offering all due respects for someone of her status but once she was gone, she didn't seem pleased that she was in there. She practically yanks me through another gate to our next destination, my awe washing over me for a moment as we depart. _The supreme beings resided here...now only one remains..._

A bar setting was the last place I would have expected, a strange creature named Sous-chef managing the bar by themself. They greet us with more etiquette than I could understand and I was instructed to take a seat as he slid over drinks from his side of the bar stand. His strange tentacle arms fascinated me even as he started to share his gossip from other guardians that visited him regularly. From what the others were saying, I was grudgingly the best-qualified suitor for Aura Bella Fiora out of the entirety of Nazarick thus far, a rumour I denied immediately to avoid further pain from Shalltear. I commented that she could probably find better if she wanted to but Sous-chef told me that I had to try first to know failure, not admit failure before trying.

After more banter and a few drinks that felt far too lavish for my tastes, Shalltear unceremoniously left the bar out of the front door and bid me follow. What greeted me upon exiting is a lavish market space with every possible storefront that an aspiring adventurer could ask for. Clothing stores and beauty parlours sat next to equipment shops and weapon vendors. Shalltear led me past everything at a hurried pace and I wasn't allowed to browse at all despite my urge to do so. Once we reached the end of the hall after viewing all of the stands, we travelled through another gate to another location but I endeavoured to the grand market at a later time.

Though I had met Sebas Tian before, meeting him again was far more humbling. This time, he met us in a simple meeting room that housed the staff, the Homonculus Maids and the Pleiades Combat Maids. They had all gathered in the room to bow in greeting as we arrive, the spectacle feeling unneeded since I didn't feel that I deserved this. Their presence there was brief and once they finished their bows, they headed off to their tasks. The thought that they served Lord Ainz directly and kept Nazarick running without anyone seeing them is both humbling and intimidating. _Lord Ainz has so many servants...so many believe in his cause..._

Sebas seemed slightly taller than I was not just by physical height but from his confident demeanour and humble mannerisms. He made me feel like I was overly flamboyant despite my efforts to emulate his simplicity, my body feeling too cumbersome to manage his practised manoeuvrers. He didn't even mention the rumours surrounding me which I was grateful for and our meeting was short as he had many tasks to perform that day.

It was once he departed that some of the homunculus maids came back, their manners and demeanour sophisticated in comparison to mine. All of the ones that returned had heard the rumours and had mixed opinions about me, some of them openly shaming me for manipulating young dark elves and others praising me for giving the pair something to care about. I didn't confirm or deny any of their words because of Shalltear's presence but I filed each of their rumours away for later.

The Pleiades had also waited for everyone else to leave before returning and upon further examination, they looked more like soldiers then maids. They introduced themselves as one unit but didn't have the luxury of time due to other assignments, each one offering me a few words before travelling through different gates to different locations. We did the same once they had all departed and Shalltear told me that the next stop was our last but the most vital stop.

The next stop was the 10th-floor, home to the throne room and, more importantly, the Ashurbanipal library.

* * *

****"So cometh the young Beric, once of Irlo but now of E-Rantel, to my domain! How art thee?" ****a powerful voice states as we exit the gate. I flinch a little at the sight of the undead but relax a fraction when they bow to me grandly while sweeping their long, red coat to the side. I try to match their formality despite my misgivings, bowing similarly and rising when they rise. The undead chuckles to themself in good humour and states grandly, ****"I am the great ******Titus Annaeus Secundus, librarian and keeper of knowledge in the Great Tomb of Nazarick! And y******ou beith a being of principles! Quite right, young servant, quite right!"****

"Do all undead sound so powerful?" I ask curiously, the skeleton chuckling again before gesturing for me to follow them with a gentle sweep of their left arm. I look over at Shalltear who nods to me with an evil grin, my body moving forward as she walks in step with me. We walk through a candlelit library of musty books and extremely large bookshelves, Titus humming a strange tune that sounds grand and triumphant to my ears. Once we get closer to the end of the library, he stops humming to answer my question.

****"Only the supremely gifted speaketh so strongly and I am one such!" ****Titus states as we follow, his path taking him to a large book at the end of the library. The book is taller than I am and is truly ancient, the cover sporting burns and tattered spots and the pages discoloured from age. The undead opens the book with a hand gesture and, to my surprise, each page is blank. The intonation of magic changes this immediately, the pages glowing with bright blue magic. Blue boxes spring from the pages to float in the air, a vast ocean of information that I have a hard time focusing on causing dizziness.

****"Beith not overwhelmed, young Beric! It is my will doth the information floweth!"**** the undead intones grandly, their hands performing grand sweeps and fine adjustments until the information is filtered. With a clap of skeletal hands, all of the irrelevant boxes disappear and are replaced with one box, the librarian half turning his hooded head to address me. His words become ominous and I feel my soul chill from them. ****"But I warn thee...such knowledge beith a poison to those who seeketh...be warned and maketh the fateful choice..."****

In a grand gesture, he moves out of the way of the book and bows while using his arms to gesture at it. I approach cautiously to read the information, clear and concise text legible even from a distance. The subject is direct and blunt, my mind whirling at such information. "Thamus Lowarm...my father?... Isnadra used him as a catalyst for her spell...consuming his essence to try and extend her lifespan...his soul fought back and the spell failed...splitting her soul asunder..."

I take a step back, the information leading to a simple truth but my mouth opening in denial. I don't want to believe that something so foul had given birth to me but the librarian watches my movements and rises from his bow, saying the words that I can't in a sympathetic tone. ****"Isnadra did not useth the magic of nature...she turned to dark arts, necromancy, to extend her existence...but she was unskilled in such things...such was her toil..."****

"She killed him...and consumed his soul..." I whisper in horror, the magnitude halting any further words. Necromancy was an appalling art that enslaved the dead but to read that I had been born of it was too much to bear. I try to deny the words and try to walk away but Shalltear is right behind me and turns me back around. She keeps me in place with her hands on my shoulders, whispering darkly in my left ear, "You have to face the truth, Beric, no matter how uncomfortable...you can't make an informed decision without it."

****"The question remaineth what Beric shall do...will he seeketh vengeance for flesh now dust?... Or will he arise, strong and true?... Or will he go mad, mind tatters and ribbons?" ****the librarian intones grandly, returning to another bow and gesturing again at the box of information in the book. I look between the undead and the information but Shalltear decides for me, moving me gently closer to the book. Titus nods almost reluctantly and states slowly, ****"Before you choose what the future doth be...looketh on and knoweth more..."****

Falling back on my urge to serve, I do as instructed and read the damning information. No amount of loyalty or service could make this easier and the information makes me nauseous just to say, let alone understand. I'm able to say aloud through growing discomfort, "My birthright...a trait...Roeray and Doris...we have the full might of Isnadra at our command...but if any of us die..."

I stop reading, not wanting to know the rest but Shalltear holds me in place as I try to struggle free. The librarian rises from his bow and replies to my evasion, ****"If one of you dies, you all will die...your souls are bound together...for all-time...pain, emotions, injury...all is shared...you complete the soul of the great one, Isnadra Miaxsys...but apart, you are but a fragment...of that tainted soul..."****

A burst of green light explodes from the book, forming a large picture of the three of us standing together. My image takes a sword to the arm, dismembering the limb from the shoulder and to my horror, the other two companions lose a limb similar to mine. I recoil at seeing those close to me in agony but in that same moment, the image vanishes. I start to feel cold and empty, not quite sure what to feel or express until Titus interjects, ****"Correct, young Beric...knoweth the truth...know your power...but know your curse...only you can chooseth what the power...shall mean..."****

I look around me for a chair, Shalltear releasing me so I can walk stiffly over to a wooden chair nearby and slowly take a seat. I put my face in my hands and my elbows on my knees, my mind trying to make sense of everything I was just told and everything I just saw. Only seconds pass before Titus interrupts my thoughts.

****"The truth beith no balm of the soul...the truth beith a sword, sharp and vile...no sword beith greater than the truth...but the truth is a sword and a sword is many-faceted..." ****Titus intones and when I look up, the librarian is casting magic on the book again, producing images of crimson in the air to illustrate his point with pictures. The image of a grand longsword shift and dance above him as he states grandly, ****"A sword is a weapon of death and dismay! A sword is a weapon of paper and ink! A sword is a weapon of care and salvation! A sword is a weapon of bone and flesh! A sword is a weapon of greed and villainy!"****

With a grand gesture, he spins once and sweeps his red coat around him, his spin ending in another bow while he beckons to me with a skeletal hand. I don't know what he wants me to do so I remain still, watching him slowly raise his head and say, ****"A sword is a tool and a tool haveth use...but what use shall young Beric, the one with such pain...such promise...make of the sword?"****

The librarian pauses in their performance and stands idle in expectation. I exhale nervously and try to find an honest answer among my muddled thoughts, immediately finding nothing. It takes me painful moments to find something to say, my voice hollow as I explain, "Everything I thought was true...was nothing more than one part of the story...I thought Isnadra made me...but I was just an accident...it feels like too much..."

Nothing feels right and I keep whispering my thoughts and doubts, becoming more desperate as I speak. "My father...if he even was that...was a victim to her predation...are all supreme being like this?...manipulating for their gain?...is that what I'll become?..."

Anger starts to form and I start to vent it openly, my bitterness coming out as I continue with growled words. "I've seen what foolish lords order their men to do...hundreds of men slain just to sustain what? Career? Ego? Land? Wealth?... I don't know what Lord Ainz wants...but his way at least feels right...he's guided by something simpler and something sincere...he's guided...by...I don't know-"

****"He is guided by his love, young Beric! Love for the supreme beings! Love for his subordinates! Love for his world! It is love that drives him!" ****the librarian intones proudly in interruption, his body becoming animated as he beckons with his right hand towards the darkened roof. His voice becomes louder as he pronounces grandly, ****"But love beith ugly as much as beauty! Love haveth many sides like the sword! Love can mend but love can kill!"****

"Lord Ainz is willing to risk everything for his dreams...the guardians, Nazarick...everything..." I whisper in realization, my hands going to my head as if trying to stop the flow of thinking. The librarian grabs both of my hands suddenly and pulls me to my feet, leading me away from the large book as it closes on its own. Shalltear opens a gate for me and Titus gently lets go of my hands, saying with remorse, **"******Time healeth the wounds that the mind cannot...taketh time to reflect and think...on what is...and what isn't...then you can moveth forward...then you can grow..."****

I stand there for a moment, unsure again of what to do until the librarian gestures slowly with both hands towards the open gate. My head nods slowly and I turn to the gate, my hand reaching forward and passing through it hesitantly. I stand there for an unknown amount of time, half-submerged into the gate and half in the library until I come to a decision and keep moving forward.

I begin to appreciate how little I know.


	20. CHOICE

**CHAPTER XX: CHOICE**

* * *

"We have to face the facts, Beric. We have nowhere else to go and there are beings out there that are out for our blood. Also, you're making this sound way worse then it is," Roeray elaborates as we walk through the calm atmosphere 6th floor, the wind slowly creeping through the trees and leaves as if holding its breath. I'm still shaken from the harsh truths I learned and the walk, meant to be comforting, feels forced instead of peaceful. Roeray's arm moves over my shoulder as she guides me to a nearby tree, my body obeying her directions idly. I'm turned towards her and sat down against it, Roeray taking a seat next to me and moving my right hand into her left. She asks curiously, "What did they tell you? Whatever it was must've been devastating-"

"Did you know...who Thamus Lowarm was?" I whisper numbly, my hand tightening lightly as she does the same to my hand. She leans her shoulder against mine and places her head on my shoulder, her voice now cracked and emotional as she replies, "...I...yes...I had enough fragments of memory to know something...I tried to forget...but as soon as our souls merged again...I remembered...everything..."

I exhale from my nose and feel my mood shift away from despair. My hand leaves hers and I turn to the right, opening my arms and accepting her sudden rush into me. The self-control she has shatters as we embrace and I feel a sense of guilt as she starts crying in my arms, my problems feeling incredibly minuscule to what she has to cope with. My voice is hollow and shamed when I say to her, "You have it worse then I do...at least I'm ignorant of all the horrors...but you have her memories...even in fragments-"

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." she whispers through sobs and I hold her closer in reply, rubbing her hair with my left hand. Despite the sadness trying to grow within me, I smile to myself and whisper gently, "You did what you had to...you just wanted to give me a normal life...how can I hold that against you...?"

"I put you through so much pain and so many lies! How can you just forgive me for that!?" she shouts in despair but I keep stroking her hair and move her head so I can touch my left cheek to hers. Her cheek is damp from tears and her cries only get louder with proximity. I wait long moments for her to settle down, whispering into her ear when she's calm, "We regained some of what's lost...you've been freed from dormancy along with Doris...and I know a little more about my past... there's so much to learn about our place in the world...I can't do this without you, Roeray-"

Rueful laughter is her response, something I'm expecting but still embarrassed by. I'm forced to wait for the mocking humour to subside before Roeray follows up with, "You need to...you need to stop trying so hard...to sound like you have things under control...because I'm _pretty_ sure we don't-"

"But I meant what I said! I can't do this alone and-" I try to blurt defensively but she uses the opportunity to silence me with a kiss. What starts as a simple show of affection quickly escalates to something more intense as she loses control, her arms moving over my shoulders as I do the same to her. Although I feel the urge to go as far as possible and let go of my inhibitions, I force her to stop by closing my mouth and pulling my head back. She, of course, resists my attempt by moving her head closer, getting a few more kisses in before pulling away with an exhale of exhilaration.

"You want to know what makes you so special? You're innocent and naive, making you manipulatable and you have a burning _need_ for a strong will guide you...someone like me," she whispers as she kisses my left cheek a few times. I'm unsure if I should feel insulted given her explanation but I ignore the confusion, accepting her bluntness for what it is. Her thought helps me understand others and I elaborate with, "That...explains why Shalltear and Aura appeal to me...they both have strong wills and know what they want...or so it appears-"

"More than that. They care about you because you would do anything for them if they asked...but did you know it works both ways?" she whispers seductively as I turn my head slightly to the right in embarrassment. Her bluntness on this subject is embarrassing to hear but I'm able to nod and agree, knowing that we had discussed this earlier and that she would bring it up often. In curiosity, I ask her, "Is that me or you talking?"

"It's just what your thinking filtered through my heightened and unstable emotions. Tell me you wouldn't sleep with either of them if they asked," she whispers and although my initial reaction is to try and deny her claim, I know better then to lie and nod lightly instead. She chuckles lightly as I ask her curiously, "Why are you so...forward with your needs all the time...I don't-"

Her mood shifts immediately, the happiness and flirtation replaced with grimness and sorrow. She forces out through a sudden wave of manic irritation, "I was trapped inside a place I couldn't understand...the only thing I had to look forward to was being held in more nothingness...I gave up counting how long I was trapped after the first year of isolation...I don't want to regret anything now that I'm awake..."

She angles my face towards her sharply with both hands, her eyes wild and unfocused. Before I can panic alongside her from her strange behaviour, her voice mirrors her desperation as she blurts, "Promise me...you promise me that you'll _never_ let me go through that again...PROMISE ME!"

Words aren't what she's asking of me so I smile sadly and release my hold on her. She starts to panic further and holds my face more tightly in her hands but let's go when I move my hands to the necklace on my neck, taking it off and gently placing it on her neck. The magical severance from the items is mildly painful but I prevent the agony from showing on my face or from translating into my voice. "You gave this to me on the last day we saw each other...it's kept me safe...sort of...I don't know if it works on you the same way it does me or if it'll solve the problems you have...but at least we can give it a try-"

Pain, sharp and intense, breaks my concentration. It starts on my upper back and squirms outwards, my eyes closing and my teeth gritting inside my mouth as something carves into my flesh with rhythmic patterns. My senses amplify the pain without warning so that every moment of agony is shockingly clear, the pain travelling from my back outwards to my arms and legs. I force my eyes open with a gasp of agony and watch as lines of green light form on the exposed skin of my arms, creating elaborate patterns on the skin but burning the skin off as well.

"Stay calm...it'll be over soon..." Roeray whispers calmly as she holds me closer, my arms moving around her despite the intense pain I feel from physical contact. Her skin contact seems to accelerate the process and I cry out in pain, the intensity of my skin burning and replacing reaching new levels. A pulsing sound rumbles in my ears and green light flashes in time with the pulse, syncing with my heartbeat and slowly becoming harmonized with it. The noise is deafening at first but when I focus on it, it slowly reduces in volume until it disappears entirely. The sounds of my rapid breathing and the surrounding forest blot out the noise.

The pain becomes numbness and disorientation, a gasp escaping me as a feeling of emptiness causes my entire body to shake. But instead of weakness or dullness, I quickly recover and feel stronger and keener then I've ever felt. I rise to my feet and pull Roeray up with me, lifting her slightly off the ground due to a height change. I look over her shoulder at my arms on her back, noting the elaborate lines of green-tinted skin and scales on my arms, the sight both disturbing and interesting.

"You had to give me the world item willingly to break the soul binding... I...I didn't know if you would agree..." Roeray whispers with guilt but I'm so used to such manipulation by now that I start to chuckle. Though I still feel discomfort from such actions, I remind myself that the ones who put me through such pain always did it for my benefit. So instead of being angry, I ask curiously, "So what do they do...besides look abnormal?"

Roeray lets go of me and lands on the ground, giving me clear evidence that I'm a half head taller than her now. Before I can ask her anything else, she turns me around and tells me to touch the tree, my right hand reaching towards the bark without question. At first, nothing happens and I tap and rub the tree a few times in growing confusion. Her hand touches my shoulder, Roeray saying something in Elvish before an arc of energy courses from the point of skin contact through my body and into the tree.

I move my hand to my side and back up, watching in awe as the tree grows upwards and sprouts more branches at an insane pace. My head turns to the left but Roeray is already moving to stand next to me, a wide smile on her face as she explains, "Your body is a conduit for magic. Any spell channelled into you or cast on you can be redirected via touch to another object. In this case, I just cast **Natural Enhancement** on you and you touched the tree to make it grow stronger."

I try to cast any of the spells I knew but no familiar build-up of magic occurs from the spoken words. I look at my hands and shake them a few times as if trying to summon the magic with gestures but this action does nothing. Roeray giggles to herself but helps me understand by explaining, "You should probably forget the spells you used to know. We'll have to retrain you on what you can do."

My reply is to reach forward and place both hands against the tree, rubbing the bark a few times in growing curiosity. I tense my body to try and lift the tree, slowly but surely breaking the tree free of the ground. I exhale in exhilaration from holding a fully grown tree, the tree feeling sturdy but lighter than it should be. I slowly swing it to the left but Roeray tells me to put it back in the ground, my movements reversing to place the tree back. A hand touches my upper back, another wave of magic flowing through my body into the tree.

The tree melds back with the grass and earth it once inhabited, the sound of grinding bark followed by a sudden shrinking of size. As I exhale again in rapt awe and turn to Roeray, she seizes my left arm and pulls me hard enough to stumble me. It takes me a few steps before I can right myself to step through the gate that opens, her path dragging me towards it as she tells me something that raises more questions.

"Come on. We're on a schedule."

* * *

When I had been put in the arena by Aura for the first time, I had to struggle tooth and nail to survive impossible odds. Shalltear had called me a brute once the ordeal was over and I hated being called that. The idea of being a single-minded servant who was little more then a warrior made me want to try and be something more. The guardians obliged me and armed me with the knowledge I needed to be more. I didn't even mind the pain such knowledge brought nor the wounds that were left on me because it meant that I wasn't just a brute, that I wasn't just a creature that ended lives. Only later in my training did I learn that Shalltear had meant I lacked intelligence and reasoning because I had savagely torn opponents apart with whatever I had on hand. My scales had quickly replaced the weapons of others but the urge to do battle only grew stronger as I became a weapon more than a being.

Roeray changed that with one ritual and I revelled in the change.

What she had given me was a newer, singular purpose without the distraction of magic, tactics, or even individual thoughts. I felt renewed like I was finally mastering myself and I enjoyed every moment of simple slaughter. The thrill of combat had been distilled and all I had to do was obey her commands when she gave them, obedience something that I had become accustomed to over the long course of my life in Nazarick.

I was a living spell focus but I didn't have to worry about such things until a spell was cast on me. My focus was on using my newfound strength and speed to cut through whatever got within reach, my left arm moulding into the tools I needed to end lives. Roeray had gifted me with the knowledge to grow my own plants on my scales and alter the composition of the scales into other metals and alloys. My knowledge of smithing and botany was limited but what I did know was sufficient enough to make my arm a deadlier weapon.

Roeray didn't have the physical durability I did so I had to be her protector during heavy fighting. It was something I was used to from my time as a guardsman of Irlo and I laughed at having such training become useful again. I was finally able to keep the excitement of combat from blinding me by having something else to focus on, the task of protecting those nearby an effective distraction.

Even Doris was fighting alongside us, the fern hound appearing out of nowhere and staying within range of the two of us. Her senses mixed with ours, giving me information in front of my eyes that I wouldn't normally see. A wealth of new ways to kills more efficiently came to light but in the process, the fighting became more mechanical and precise. The uncertainty and thrill I once felt disappeared and was replaced with a tedious flow of predictable actions.

But Aura was going easy on us to see what we could do and now that we had proven ourselves competent, she started to unleash deadlier opponents onto the arena sands. Magic users, armoured knights, monstrous creatures, and undead warriors were just a few of the opponents she sent at us, each new enemy providing its own challenges to overcome. I didn't have to think as much because Roeray did most of the thinking for me and Doris showed me where to strike. All I had to do was obey commands, defend them both, and destroy everything else. Before I knew it, the combat was over and we were going through another gate to somewhere else.

I felt no joy where once, I had yearned in combat.


	21. HONOUR

**CHAPTER XXI: HONOUR**

* * *

**"I am pleased that you three have chosen to take a greater step into our service," **Lord Ainz intones from his throne, his eyes glowing ominously in his skull. I'm glad that we don't have to answer because the situation intimidates me, every guardian that I know of surrounding Lord Ainz and staring directly at us. Albedo and Shalltear stand closest to the throne, both of them measuring us in their ways. The rest are arrayed in an order that has no discernable pattern, each of them regarding us with a mixture of interest and apprehension.

As I look over the assembled group, however, one among the guardians is not a familiar being at all. They look like a pink mass of flesh with featherless wings sprouting from their back, their body floating above the ground despite the wings remaining motionless. The language they speak isn't comprehensible so Lord Ainz explains that they speak Enochian, the language of angels. He doesn't tell us what was said and quickly changes topic back to the point by intoning, **"I must give you fair warning that taking an oath of servitude to Ainz Ooal Gown and the Great Tomb of Nazarick is not a light choice. Your will becomes mine and even death is no escape from this commitment. You will all belong to us forever with no opportunity or reason for me to discharge you from my service. If you feel that this is too great a choice to make, I can give you more time to think further if you wish."**

Roeray is the one who responds, saying with courage and conviction, "We have nowhere else to go, Lord Ainz, and despite our misgivings, we're part of this domain as much as anyone else. Our service here under your leadership would be more beneficial to us then if we tried to make our path elsewhere."

Though it's a shared belief, Lord Ainz turns his gaze on me, measuring me with his gaze for too long. I return his gaze with as much conviction as I can manage before he asks firmly, **"Do you all believe this? I have little understanding of what you three are. Such things were rare in Yggdrasil."**

"We agree, Lord Ainz. Though we are three beings of different demeanour, we act and think as one. It would pose a risk to Nazarick if what we know falls into the wrong hands," I reply curtly, Lord Ainz pausing briefly then chuckling to himself. His mirth slowly grows into laughter that I don't quite understand, some of the guardians looking over at him in confusion before he intones, **"You three remind me of Isnadra. She was just as uncompromising and just as swift to a decision...but I understand that this is not what you want."**

"Yes, Lord Ainz," an eloquent voice says from nearby, my courtesy and reverence lost at the inclusion of a new being in the conversation. I look around to see if someone else is present but no one new has arrived and the silence stretches for a moment. The voice speaks again, saying with the same courtesy, "Though we are born from her essence, we do not wish to be like Isnadra Miaxsys. Our creation was not her intent and although we honour her hand in our birth, we wish to forge our path."

I'm stunned to hear and see Doris speaking in elvish, her canine jaws remaining still as the words are projected through the air by some unknown means. Roeray giggles to herself and quickly angles my head and my body back to face Lord Ainz. He, in turn, chuckles at our antics but quickly collects himself to intone seriously, **"Then I see no reason to discuss this matter further. Let us proceed."**

Potent magic builds up in the room, the sheer power making the hairs on my body rise slightly. Lord Ainz begins the ritual himself and every guardian present lends their measure of power. Massive rings of transparent white energy, each ring encrusted with runes, form around the throne and all of the guardians. The entire room is bathed in bright blue light and though my senses are partially blunted due to the changes to my body, Doris gives me the information I need. A white box appears in front of their group and all eyes focus on it, the bar filling up until it's full of white. Lord Ainz intones the final word to cast the spell, the words spoken with far more power than I managed.

**Claim**

White energy surrounds the three of us in a hurricane of magic and I close my eyes to remain calm. The magic flows through me, my body twitching from the sudden intrusive nature of the spell. Twitching becomes convulsing as the power flow increases but I stubbornly remain upright and conscious even as my insides start to burn. The burning becomes a numb pain that steadily grows into sharp pain, the pain easily cresting my limit of unbearable. I grit my teeth as agony becomes everything I know but as soon as the pain started, it becomes tolerable enough to think straight.

I feel a strange core of magic in the centre of my chest, the magic humming through me and slowly harmonizing with my own. A hand enters my left hand and I tighten my grip, some of the magic inside me flowing through my hand. The moment of harmony shatters as another voice intrudes, one that rings inside my head and fills me with a sense of dread. The voice is both familiar and not, full of anger but tempered with acceptance.

_**I will never serve Ainz Ooal Gown again...they cast me out...and I cast them away...**_

"NO!" I hear Roeray shout, all of the magic within me sucked out of my frame into her. A rippling wave of unstable energy explodes outwards and I reflexively let go of her hand, the energy wave knocking me off my feet and sending me flying a random direction. The sound of such violent discharge blocks out all other noise and I tumble through the air with no bearing on anything. My senses kick in and I'm able to right myself as soon as I touch the floor, my body rolling with the momentum until I'm upright.

I throw my arms in front of me to block the burning green flames rushing towards me but a shield of green magic appears around me, holding the flames at bay. I watch in horror as my surroundings become a chaotic maelstrom of heat and light, cloth banners and wooden furnishing turning to ashes and metal fixtures turning to slag. I'm able to see something near the edge of the fire, a bright cerulean glow pushing back against the flame. The glow pushes further and further until it contains the violent magic in a swirling ball of heat, noise, and light.

Demiurge has both hands aimed at the shield, both of his hands glowing the same colour as the protective barrier. The fires within thrash and bend against his efforts and I rush over to him in a panic, blurting to him when I get close, "What's happening!? Why is her magic reacting like this!?"

"This is _not _a good time to discover new things!" Demiurge shouts over the noise of the flames and as I watch, the flames within lash out more violently against the shield. Cracks start to form on the magical barrier but Demiurge releases his left hand from the spell and starts manipulating the blue box that appears fervently, the flames taking the opportunity to push back harder. Green fire slams into the bubble more aggressively and I hit the ground as a gout of green flame breaks out of the shield. A pillar of fire lashes outwards but as it starts to spread to our surroundings, Demiurge seals the break and cuts the fire off at the source. The fire outside of the shield dies out and Demiurge is visibly sweating as he tries to hold the shield in place. His hand is working more swiftly in reply to the greater resistance from within.

I want to leap bodily into the flames and find Roeray but I don't know for sure if she's alive inside the conflagration. As if hearing my thoughts, Demiurge quickly slides the box aside and points at me sharply with his free hand, his words rushed but firm as he commands, "Siphon off some of the magic into your body! I don't know if you know how-"

Mid-explanation, the voice of Yggdrasil rings in my head, my eyes closing for a moment to accept the help. The noise is blotted out, the guiding force erasing my doubts and fears for a few seconds. I'm already moving forwards before I open my eyes, both of my hands plunging into the shield. The fire latches onto my skin and my scales, blackening them with their malevolent purpose. They try to race up my arm out of the shield but before they can, I'm able to prepare myself for what comes next and execute the plan.

**"Absorb Magic!" **I shout with conviction, my hands growing hotter as the spell activates on command. The fire responds to the new pathway of escape, crawling rapidly along my arms out of the shield. The flames burn and char my skin as they travel across my body, magical energy flowing through my insides to burn flesh and organs in kind. Despite the intense pain, I'm determined to put an end to the madness by forcing my body to stay in place and finish the spell. The flames flow out of the shield completely, exposing Roeray glowing with a bright green light in the centre. The glow fades as the flames are sucked away and she falls unconscious to the ground with a soft thump.

The flames block out my vision as I completely catch fire, the violent magic finding a new source of energy to consume. My body loses all feeling and feels heavier than normal with each second, my arms dropping uselessly to my sides as I fall rightwards to the ground. My eyelids feel heavier and I barely feel the slight bump from hitting the ground. My ears ring in my skull and my breath rasps through burnt lungs. Soon, I can no longer tell if I'm on fire or not, my eyes unable to focus on anything at all.

**"Isnadra's heritage no longer holds you. You three are now servants of Nazarick," **Lord Ainz intones with finality but my head rings uncomfortably from his voice. I try to pinpoint anything or move at all but nothing wants to respond to my will and my vision starts to fade to black. My entire body grows cold and my thoughts become harder and harder to make.

I close my eyes slowly as conscious thought ceases.

* * *

I smile as I feel my heart start beating again, my eyes opening to the pure darkness around me. The pain is gone but the memory of it remains, my arms moving up to my face to check the burns that I expect to be there. The arms that come up are pristine and lack the scales of a half-dragon on the left arm, my head nodding idly in acceptance of this abnormality. The surroundings confirm that I'm alive but damaged enough to lose consciousness, my mind retreating to the strange, dark space like before. Curious if I'm alone, I call out into the darkness, "Lord Ainz?...are you in here?...anyone?"

"Not this time, kiddo," a gruff voice states from the darkness as someone comes into being in front of me. They use their left arm to sweep the blackness aside as if it was a curtain, revealing their presence dramatically. I immediately recognize the armour of Irlo they wear as they reach up to remove their helmet. I watch the path the helmet takes as they toss it into the blackness, snapping my attention back up to see the revealed face. I'm unsure if their face is an illusion of my mind so I take time to analyse what I'm seeing.

"Who are you? You look like me...but...are we still inside my head?" I say aloud as I scan the surroundings, the blackness all around us giving me no answers. When I turn back to the figure, they smile and chuckle, the smile bending the blade scar across their chin. They take a step closer and their voice sounds sad as they reply, "This is the safe space inside your head when you go under, remember?... We don't have time to discuss that though. I need to tell you something before you wake up."

Part of me is filled with doubts but I nod slowly in acceptance, figuring that I had nothing to lose if I listened. The figure nods as they state rapidly, "Lord Ainz is right. The shackles of Isnadra's influence no longer control you but her legacy remains in this world. There's plenty that she has done to taint the land with cursed power. She has secrets that even Roeray doesn't know... so you need to be careful out there."

The figure turns away but leaves me with more questions than answers. I try to demand they answer by moving after them but even though I'm increasing my speed to catch up to them, the distance between us doesn't diminish despite his slow stride. They state over their shoulder as they walk away, "Don't follow me, kiddo. Where I reside is not a place you want to be yet. Turn back around."

"Who are you!? Why are you in my head!? And what do you know about Isnadra!?" I ask in growing ire as I stop in place, watching them continue their trek into the darkness despite my urge to go after them. The figure stops and starts to fade away into the darkness, the surroundings rumbling strangely in reply to their departure. The lone figure says one last thing to me as the black void starts to fade away, words that make me sick to my stomach from their import.

"You already know the answers...it's why we look the same..."

* * *

I cough violently as I awaken, something wet escaping my mouth as I slowly open my eyes. I'm disoriented from the earlier blackness but quickly orient myself to my surroundings. I'm lying on my right side and my throat and chest hurt intensely as I cough involuntarily.

"Try to stay awake as I complete my scans," Demiurge says as he casually strolls into view next to the bed, my eyes slowly panning left as my breath rasps painfully from my throat. He's manipulating information with his customary smile but I lose focus on him as my left-hand goes over my mouth to cover more violent coughing, the wetness from before coating the hand. I pull the hand away and see small amounts of blood and black debris, Demiurge stating in reply to my coughing, "You're mostly intact but you'll be in some discomfort for a bit. Most of your organs are badly burned and need time to fully heal. Your heart completely stopped at one point during your ordeal and your mind needs time to recover. Remain calm and try not to do anything strenuous."

"What happened...to Roeray...?" I ask groggily, my right arm pushing weakly against the mattress in an attempt to flip myself onto my back. A groan escapes me as I land on my back, my entire body feeling too sensitive and too unwieldy. Demiurge chuckles to himself and when I slowly look over at him, he shakes his head and moves the blue box he's manipulating aside. He takes off his glasses with his right hand and chuckles a few more times, his cyan gem eyes fixing on me as he replies with diminished humour, "Do you...hold it against me that I let you die?... Just to learn if you _could_ die?"

The thought hadn't occurred to me at all and I'm unsure if I should answer him. I didn't know what to feel or think and though I understood how important information is to Nazarick, the thought of being allowed to die to learn something isn't a comforting idea. I want to feel anger or contempt at such actions but instead, I start laughing ruefully and ask him with an amused smile, "And...and what did we learn from me dying?"

He chuckles and looks away, replacing his glasses and smiling as he states, "Roeray is fine physically though mentally...she's shaken from her ordeal. It's not every day you find out you tried to kill Lord Ainz...but our counter trick worked as planned and you survived that dangerous amount of fairy fire-"

"You knew she had that!?" I shout angrily at him, my throat stinging and my body hurting from the exertion. I tense uncomfortably as if preparing for conflict but Demiurge doesn't say anything, his face producing a strange neutral expression in reply to my anger. His prolonged silence is enough of an answer for me and my anger rises in response to the different types of pain assaulting my body. _I should've known they'd pull something...but this!?_

Strangely enough, he smiles when he sees my anger flare and my body tries to sit up, his amusement quickly becoming neutrality again as I'm unable to rise very far. I angrily fall back to the bedding as he states sternly, "The fire_ did _destroy half of the throne room in the process...and many priceless decorations were burnt to ash or melted to slag...but if it makes you feel better, a few of the guardians were less than thrilled about the plan-"

"You knew what would happen!" I retort but seeing Demiurge smiling at me triggers subconscious reactions that force me to calm down. I'd seen this smile before, his knowing smile, and knew from past experiences that he was intentionally trying to make me react. The combination of physical and mental pain isn't helping me make a clear decision but I do my best to calm down, breathing slowly but painfully through my nose and breaking eye contact with him for a moment.

Demiurge inhales and exhales in relief and when I glance back over at him, his smile seems more genuine and calm. Before I can ask him what he's so pleased about, he pulls a scroll of parchment out of his inner suit and unrolls it quickly. His tongue recites a language I don't understand but I already know what happens next, the scroll flash burning as the spell effects written on it activates.

A jolt of energy passes through me, taking away the discomfort of burned flesh and leaving me feeling healthy and focused. My body sits up smoothly and I look at my arms in bewilderment, rubbing them in confusion and finding no burns. The scales on my left arm are there as always, the sight of them comforting in a way I didn't think could happen. Demiurge explains as I check my injuries, "You seem very susceptible to magical influence and those burns were far more severe than I originally projected. I hypothesize that you're weak to magical attack if you don't redirect it away from you."

At his statement, I laugh briefly and shake my head, dropping my arms lazily as I reply with amusement, "I'm a conduit for magic, not a suppressor of it...so you ordering me to neutralize that magic inside my body...was the worst possible idea you could come up with...nice work, Lord Demiurge-"

"Oh, don't be so smug. Without me forcing the magic out of you in time, you'd have turned into ashes in seconds. We all make mistakes," he replies defensively but with plenty of amusement. I don't like the idea that my death is so easy a concept for him but I can't bring myself to feel upset, my face smiling like a fool as I share a laugh with him. I reach out with my right hand, offering the hand to him palm upwards. He takes the hand in both of his hands and shakes it, the nostalgia of his actions helping me remember the first time he shook my hand this way. The circumstances were very different than that first time.

He places something on my ring finger and releases my hand, moving my hand closer to me so I can see what he gave me. An elaborate golden band wraps around the finger but turning my hand over, I see a red gemstone containing a symbol of black stone inside. I've seen the symbol all around Nazarick but never asked what it meant or what it was. I ask him in confusion, "A ring? What's the ring for?"

Demiurge shows me his left hand and summons a similar ring onto his finger. There's a look of wonder and reverence on his face as he rubs the index finger of his other hand across the gemstone, his voice awed and humble as he explains, "These aren't just any rings...they belonged to the ones who created us...this one was from my creator, Lord Ulbert Alain Odle...it was from him that I gained my being...just as everything you are came from Isnadra Miaxsys-"

The mood of wonder and happiness instantly sours as I understand who the ring belongs to. I immediately pull it off my finger and toss it away from me but mid-flight, it disappears into nothingness and reappears on my ring finger. I try the manoeuvre a few more times, Demiurge watching my futile attempts for a while before saying on my seventh attempt, "It's magically bound to you now. Read the soul-binding."

I do as instructed, pulling up the items information with my thoughts and reading the blue box of information that appears over my hand. Rather than the name I'm expecting, the item is listed as belonging to me, Roeray Sunlight, and Doris. I sit staring at the names for long moments, expecting some kind of trick and sliding the fingers of my other hand across the box as if trying to force a change. Demiurge watches as nothing happens before commenting, "You three are abnormalities among us...you don't venerate your creator as we do ours...you can't deny that she gave you life in the end-"

"Don't," I growl but Demiurge doesn't stop, his words something I don't want to hear but something that he says anyways. His tone, however, takes on a measure of sympathy that takes me off guard. "She is no longer one of the chosen of Nazarick. Lord Ainz has decreed that we will remove as much evidence of her existence from this world as we can...but it's because of you three that he commanded something like this. That ring no longer belongs to Isnadra Miaxsys...it belongs to Beric Lowarm, a servant of Nazarick."

I close my hand and watch the information fade from view, the red gemstone glowing an ominous shade of green. I gaze at the ring only for a few seconds, my fascination fading away as I slide out of bed and rise to my feet. Demiurge steps out of the way with an amused smile, my head staring straight ahead as I walk away from him.

As I turn and walk towards the door outside of my room in E-Rantel, I wonder where this decree will take us.

* * *

****END OF SCENE I****

**"I'm not the perfect person. I'm not the most happy person. I get angry, and I get mad sometimes, but I try my best to control my thoughts. Because that flows throughout your body."**

**-Karrueche Tran, Actress****  
**


	22. PURPOSE

**SCENE II: LIBERATION**

* * *

**CHAPTER I: PURPOSE**

* * *

A Ring of Ainz Ooal Gown was the highest symbol of respect and loyalty that Lord Ainz could gift any servant of Nazarick. To me, it's a constant reminder of the one who created me on accident, a bitter memory of the lies and deceit she perpetrated for her own goals. I couldn't get rid of the ring due to the binding but thankfully, Demiurge had shown me the proper way to think about the ring. It didn't belong to her anymore and I tried to force the idea out of my head, replacing the thought with the idea that the ring was mine from the beginning.

The instructions that are magically written into the ring send me to a long hallway upon activation. I'm already scanning my new surroundings as best I can, the dim light of crimson painting the place in an ominous light. The walls are filled with decorated alcoves holding outlandish statues, each statue posed uniquely and no two statues looking alike. The ceiling is so high up that I can't see the roof, the floor dark and strange to walk on compared to honest ground. Moving across the floor feels like walking through a void, the ground beneath me feeling unstable despite being some sort of dark carpet.

**"You are awake early. I was informed you would be out for at least a week. You are becoming accustomed to dying," **Lord Ainz intones to me from somewhere, the silence of the hallway giving his powerful voice an echoing quality. I'm not sure if I should feel uneasy or grateful for his words but I nod my head, my steps forward taken with care since I'm half expecting the floor to fall out from under me.

Lord Ainz is suddenly there as if appearing from the air, his form traversing the hallway without fear. Upon seeing him walk so surely, my footsteps become steadily sure to match his pace. I follow on his right and try to get a closer look at the strange statues we pass, each one appearing incredibly lifelike and detailed in an abnormal way. There's a feeling of unease and wrongness to the statues and Lord Ainz addresses my thoughts by explaining as we walk, **"Many of the previous members of the Great Tomb of Nazarick are idolized here. Yet only the ones who left behind their journals and equipment are truly here. I created these statues, these Avatara, from what they left behind...they are imperfect...but that is not the reason we're here."**

"She's here, isn't she..." I whisper numbly, already seeing the image of my dread a few alcoves down the hallway. A sense of deja vu mixed with hatred washes over me as I get closer to her statue, the statue posed with their left arm forward and a small weapon in their right hand. Their features are a sickening copy of what Roeray appears as, their long hair of golden strands running free along a body barely armoured. I recognize the stance of the statue all too well because there's no mistaking the arm weapon on the statues left arm. I try to deny the similarities even as I note them on her person. _I'm not her...I'll...never...be her..._

Lord Ainz intrudes on the moment, saying in a sombre voice, **"There was no mistaking the fighting tendencies or the tactics you used in combat. I recognized the recklessness and passion in your technique...and I understand your hatred towards her. She never meant for you to exist and you feel-"**

"You don't know what it's like!" I shout at Lord Ainz suddenly, my breath catching in my throat as I realize what I just did out of impulse. I fall to a knee and lower my head in apology but Lord Ainz says nothing for long moments, my body tensing in unease as I wait for some form of punishment from him. I don't know what to expect but he continues the conversation as if nothing happened, his tone more sympathetic. **"I apologize. All I know is what she recorded in her journal and what you've experienced so far...all of which is second-hand knowledge. I cannot truly understand what you feel... and it is why I brought you here."**

He tells me to rise, my body obeying his command as we both spend long moments in silence looking over the statue. I spend the time gazing at nothing, having already noted the statue and am becoming sick of looking at it. Lord Ainz eventually intones sadly after a long silence, **"I am selfish...I wanted to keep every Avatara in this place intact so that my memory of Yggdrasil would have a physical reminder...I made every construct in here using my resources before the fall of that world...but the truth is...they left before the fall of Yggdrasil and many guardians share your hatred for those that made them...they don't openly show it but...you are not unlike them...I cannot make this decision myself...I leave it to you to decide what becomes of this particular memory."**

"She doesn't belong here any more," I growl, Lord Ainz nodding his head and extending his left hand towards the Avatara. The sparse equipment worn and wielded by the statue is transformed into magical energy, the energy sucked into a blue box in front of the statue. The construct disintegrates into a mist of white dust that's also absorbed into the blue box, leaving no physical evidence that the construct had stood in the alcove. Lord Ainz slides the blue box in front of me and extends his left hand towards the alcove again, another blue box of information appearing at his command. Every detail he wrote about Isnadra Miaxsys is displayed next to an elaborate picture of her. A simple hand swipe from right to left causes the information to disappear, Lord Ainz closing his hand to make the blank box disappear as well. He sounds surprisingly relieved when he tells me, **"It is done. What possessions she left behind are now yours...though I doubt you want to keep any of them-"**

My right-hand taps the blue box in front of me, the box expanding into a list of all the possessions the Avatara once held. My right-hand taps the box to make it smaller, the same hand opening my inventory box next to the small box. I slide the two boxes into each other, the items magically transferred into my storage effortlessly. I perform the same gesture as Lord Ainz, closing my hand to make the empty box dissipate into nothing even as I will my inventory to close.

**"You know how to do that surprisingly well. Did someone teach you this?" **Lord Ainz asks curiously, my head nodding but my right hand pointing at the hallway beyond. I channel my magic into the air, a gate opening at my command that I start to move towards quickly. The current feelings of wrongness and unease have nothing to do with the surroundings and I finally realize why. I quickly explain to Lord Ainz, "I need to fix something first. I'll return when it's done."

I can't help but feel his unease as I pass through the gate.

* * *

I don't remember how long ago it was since I claimed the first territory but upon entering the place, the feeling of wrongness takes form. The plant life within, once green and prospering, are dying of old age and decay. Vibrant colours of nature are replaced with the pallid colours of dying life. The soil feels wrong to step on because the earth feels far too moist. The smells of decay are so thick that I start coughing involuntarily from the horrible odour. My hand goes over my mouth and nose as I rush through the landscape of decay, my mind homing in on the faint beacon of magic that I had felt upon awakening. I gain some relief when the beacon starts to become more coherent and stable but I pick up the pace nonetheless, rushing past dying trees and wilting flowers in desperation. The close confines put the decaying vegetation within arm's length of my path, the smell becoming worse with such proximity to the source.

I reach the main area where the great tree should be, witnessing the true horror of this place. Among the dead flowers and wilting trees are the bodies of hundreds of fairies laid out like a carpet of lifeless flesh. Their skin is devoid of colour but no blood or viscera coats the ground, the fate that befell them magical rather than physical. Upon feeling the magical beacon screaming at me, I break my bewilderment and rush to the centre of the clearing, doing my best to avoid stepping on the bodies as try to reach the beacon's source.

"Roeray! Doris! Hold on!" I shout as I dash towards the central tree wilting from decay, my eyes finally picking out two figures leaning against the tree holding each other one last time. I'm inwardly chastising myself with each step I take towards them, the ground becoming more decayed and treacherous as I get closer to them. Rushing the last few steps to get close, I crouch down and place a hand on each of them, my mind trying to remember the words that needed to be said as I'm panicking at their desperate state.

Their beacon starts to fade and in my panic, I don't remember what I need to say. I try to calm down and focus but with each second, their magical presence fades faster and faster. I try to use some of the items I have on hand, pulling them from my inventory and using them recklessly but nothing seems to work. Healing salves and other random aid items do nothing to stop their magical decline. I try to transfer what magic I have in my body to them but the energy doesn't stay, the mana I give them dissipating into nothingness. Despair fills me as they start to disappear, their bodies fading slightly as their magic drains away. I shut my eyes and focus my mind, trying desperately and begging myself for answers. _No...no no no no! Please, no! I don't know what to do!_

_**You already know the answers, kiddo.**_

**"Three as One!"** I shout aloud, the channels of magic across my body glowing brightly from unleashed power. The green light banishes the mood of desperation I feel but the light becomes darker, the shade of green shifting into the colour of dark moss. A massive flow of energy transfers into the two unconscious beings I'm touching, both of them becoming solid again and spluttering into wakefulness. They look at me in bewildered surprise but I'm already moving to a stand and turning away from them. My body starts to sting from the magical energy being unleashed and I force all of the magic I have left out of my body, throwing my arms outwards to allow a wave of dark green energy to explode outwards. Fairies spring back to life as motes of bright light and plants return to their former beauty. The ground becomes solid and firm again and the cave is once again populated with the noise of nature.

I'm breathing hard from exertion and pain as most of the energy exudes from my skin, my body falling to my knees as my skin hisses from magical discharge. My body sags forward numbly as hands move weakly over my shoulders, the relief and guilt I feel making me sob uncontrollably. Roeray whispers that it's alright but my mind unravels from the personal shame, my body shaking horribly from the sheer amount of fear and guilt I feel. I try to rationalize what's happening and force the wild emotions down but my efforts are in vain, guilty thoughts making my mood spiral further downwards. _I failed...I didn't save them...someone else did...I can't protect them...I caused this..._

"You fixed what you broke...that's all that matters..." Roeray whispers hoarsely as she holds me but the horror of my actions coupled with her words makes the guilt worse, my mouth unable to form anything but ragged cries of misery. I feel her grip slacken and shift, her hands moving to my back as she brings me into an embrace but I'm so distraught with anguish that I can't even function properly. She's forced to move my arms for me, my arms moved to her back as her head rests gently on my shoulder. "We were pulled here when our magic started to fade...you died...even momentarily, it severed the link..."

"I...I didn't know..." I whisper through my sobs, Roeray holding me tightly as she exhales through her nose gently. She remains silent and rubs my back as I try to gain some form of coherence but the coherence only brings more trauma. I can't hold back the guilt and croak out in shame, "I...I nearly killed you...both of you...I was so reckless...I'm sorry..."

"You didn't know...how could you have known beforehand?" she whispers in understanding, my breaths coming in gasps as I try to get my emotions under control. I feel Doris rub her side against my back and lay down on my left, her snout nudging my left hand that I use to rub the centre of her head. She whines in sympathy of my guilt as my breathing gets under control, her presence helping me cope as my eyes close to remove tears. Something else touches my arms and when I open my eyes, multiple motes of light start to descend on us from above. The fairies join the moment of pain, touching my skin and scales with radiant warmth as multiple voices tell me that it's okay and that I shouldn't feel so sad. I take deep breaths and listen as the fairies try to comfort me, my right hand reaching up and wiping the tears remaining on my face.

"He said...he said that it's over...but..." I try to explain but Roeray shushes me and tells me not to think about it, kissing me gently on the face but also breathing through her nose in minor irritation. She pats my back a few times but shifts her tone towards agitated, whispering ominously, "You...owe us...big time...for this..."

"How does a shopping trip sound?" I whisper weakly, Roeray pulling back from me to look at me in disbelief and confusion. It's relieving to see her back to her normal self and my right-hand reaches into the air in reply, a small sack from my inventory. I hold the sack in front of me and shake it lightly to make the contents jingle, her hands releasing me immediately to snatch the bag and open it. Her face lights up at the sight of what's inside and she starts to chuckle ruefully, saying sarcastically in reply, "Where did you even get this much money? Your adventuring doesn't pay this well."

"That's a long story but first things first," I say as I start to rise slowly but Roeray rises faster than I do, her black butterfly wings forming and giving her added agility. She shoves me gently into a sitting position and I look up at her in confusion as she grins down at me. Her wings flap gently once to send her into the air as she states playfully, "Sit down, mopey. I got this."

The swarm of fairies follow in her wake, forming rings of dancing light that spiral around her. Her right-hand gestures upwards while her left hand extends to the left, the fairies reposition to her outstretched hands and form swirling orbs of magic. Roeray gently sweeps her hands around her body in an odd sort of dance before unleashing the fairies into the surroundings, the orbs of magic flowing outwards in streams of giggling magic.

Brilliant waves of green light touch the surroundings, changing them as if repainted by an unseen brush. Roeray becomes more animated, spiralling in the air as she undoes my sloppy use of magic and replaces it with a harmonious image of nature. The surroundings become bright and vibrant, flowers and trees changing and blending until I can feel the life and joy return to the cave. Eventually, Roeray grows still and brings her arms towards her chest, the fairies surrounding her forming a single ring of green light before dispersing into chaotic dancing lights.

"There. Much better," Roeray says happily as she descends gently to the ground, her wings disappearing as she puts her hands on her hips. She does a glance of her work and breathes in the air before turning towards me, gesturing with a lazy handwave for the fairies to go back to whatever they were doing. Her gracefulness is lost when she awkwardly sits too quickly, her body falling flat on the ground before sitting up awkwardly. Her right-hand reaches forward to rub the left side of my face, my body leaning forward so she can reach me. As a smile starts to grow on my face from her show of affection, her smile becomes predatory as she tells me her new desires.

"So...what was that about a shopping trip?"


	23. PRICE

**CHAPTER II: PRICE**

* * *

Roeray slips the Ring of Ainz Ooal Gown off my finger with a quick hand movement and puts it on her own, nodding once in appreciation of the artistry before grabbing my left hand and teleporting us back to Nazarick. The market on the 9th floor spread out all around us and I try to keep up with her rapid pace as she pulls me along. She walks backwards just as quickly as she walks forwards and says to me while keeping her pacing, "We can teleport back to Nazarick whenever we want? We're gonna be assigned more tasks with that much independence."

"I don't doubt that. Lord Ainz always has a plan," I reply curtly as she turns back around, Roeray guiding me as if knowing exactly where she's going. I barely have time to sightsee but upon my second visit, it strikes me as strange at how few customers there are. Most of the beings shopping around us are the staff of Nazarick who watch us with a mixture of amusement and curiosity. It feels like a waste to have so many fine shops with no one to buy from them but the thought is cut short when Roeray asks me to pay attention.

Our path takes us into a fancy tailor shop called Elegant Knit Picks, the wooden sign of a needle and threat hung on a regal building of white stone. I chuckle to myself at the idea that Lord Ainz, the supposed king of darkness, has such pure and vibrant buildings hidden in his domain. The interior, however, makes his claim to darkness true, the dark furnishings, black walls and orange candlelight reminding me of the throne room's design.

Were greeted by one of the Homunculus maids acting as the tailor and as we start looking around, the maid sizes up Roeray and me while her right hand simultaneously writes something down on pieces of parchment paper. I'm amazed at how she can do both at the same time and within moments, she magically floats two stacks of paper above her counter for us to see. Roeray and I approach the counter and look among the drawings, flipping through the designs and marvelling at the extreme level of detail. Some of the information is rather personal and I cringe a little at having my full height, body measurements, and even genital size on full display.

Pushing the discomfort aside, I quickly find the design I want and watch a brief exchange of wealth between Roeray and the tailor. Her next magic trick is to take the parchment design and cast an unspoken spell on it, crimson energy flowing through the paper and burning it instantly. The design on the scroll becomes the object of description and I thank her for her work as she hands a pair of white shorts. The maid offers the back room for me to try the clothes on, insisting that I check the fit for accuracies sake.

I nod and walk in the direction she points towards, Roeray following me into the changing room for some reason. When she refuses to leave, I push her out lightly as she goes from smiling to frowning in an instant. I shake my head no, firmly preventing a scene in a semi-public place and Roeray disagreeing with this even as I close the door for privacy. I hear the maid giggling to herself, making me feel doubly embarrassed by what transpired in plain sight.

It feels strange to physically remove clothing because of how many times I've swapped clothes magically but since the item isn't bound to me yet, changing clothes this way is required. I toss the previous pants into my inventory and put the new clothes on, the strange materials humming with magic and twisting with a life of their own to match my body. I panic a little, half expecting the shorts to spring to life or try to attack me but instead of these things, the shorts transform from a shade of grey to a pure white. The material reshapes slightly to fit me but I'm puzzled at the sudden change in material colour.

The maid reassures me from outside that the clothes are matching my karma, becoming white from having a positive value. I don't understand what she means but feel at ease that it isn't something I did or something malicious. The shorts finish their adjustments and I open the door out of the changing room, feeling a strange sense of relief from being in open spaces again.

The shorts feel far more flexible and comfortable than my previous pants and I do a twirl in place to test the fit, marvelling at how light and form-fitting they feel. I have to touch my legs and look down just to make sure I'm wearing something because it feels like I'm wearing nothing. I'm far too enthusiastic when I exclaim to the tailor, "These feels great! How did you do this!?"

"That's a trade secret. Can't tell you," the maid replies swiftly but as she smiles at me, she offers me something else from her counter. I'm impressed by her ability to read our wants and desires without asking, nodding to her as I approach the counter and take what she's offering. I have to actively ignore Roeray leering at me as I approach, her predatory nature becoming a little too obvious.

A standard belt lays on the counter, the material matching the strange cloth of the shorts. The attention to details is exceptional and I take long moments looking over the belt. The right hip sheath was the precise size of the knife I carry but my face smiles ruefully when I see the elvish writing on the material. Bold words claimed that the knife or perhaps the belt belongs to Aura and Mare, words that I try not to read into. Six small pouches take up the centre front and centre back of the belt, each one covered in further elvish words. The left hip has a small satchel but I quickly lose my patience and start to put the belt on in excitement. Even before I touch the item, I can feel the intense magic resonating through it but the resonance doesn't feel ominous or malicious.

The belt syncs with my bodies magic even before putting it on. I raise my right-hand to summon the gifted knife from my inventory, sliding it into its new home and feeling a slight tingle of energy from the hilt. My state of wonder, however, is broken by Roeray suddenly appearing behind me and accessing my inventory, my body shaking slightly at having her intrude on something linked to my magical field. Her hand casually flicks useful items into the pouches on my belt and once she's done, her arms move over my shoulders so that her hands can connect on my chest. I try to ignore her body pressing against me but she takes the moment further by kissing my left cheek too tenderly. To avoid further temptation, I'm forced to remove her arms from my shoulders and take a step forward.

"Your reactions are adorable...so reserved and timid...but you realize the more you resist, the more I want to tempt you?" she comments to my back but before I can reply, she pulls my left hand and leads me outside. I have to quickly and awkwardly pay the giggling tailor before we go, my hand tossing the appropriate amount of gold towards her counter. The tailor thanks us for our business but Roeray pulls me outside in a hurry and starts taking us down the streets to another shop.

A few shops down the line, we arrive at a new establishment lacking any sign, the dark stone floors and roof merging with the walls to make the interior look like a cave of blackness among the buildings around it. Many stone shelves line the curved walls, each one filled with simple necklaces, elaborate skull charms, potions and ingredients. In the far back of the room is a massive cauldron of dark iron which a black-robed figure is mixing a glowing red concoction with a wooden stick. Their face is hidden behind their hood and the figure doesn't acknowledge us even as we get closer.

The concoction they're stirring floats into the air as they stir, forming an orb of crimson and flowing through the air in thin streams into bottles on a nearby table. The figure tosses the stick aside carelessly and walks with a pronounced limp around the cauldron, her path taking her directly to me. Roeray shoves me in front of her and the strange figure extends their right hand, touching the left side of my chest with cold, grey skin. They hold the hand there for long moments, muttering something I can't understand before turning away.

They retrace their steps and I try to say something to them but Roeray gently puts a hand over my mouth, my eyes looking to my right and meeting hers in confusion. She lightly shakes her head no and I nod my head in minor understanding, her hand moving away from my mouth as I turn my attention back to the robed figure. The cauldron starts to fill with many strange and colourful ingredients that float into its basin, the contents ranging from simple herbs to unknown masses. Each item inserted starts to pulse with green light, the light shifting between bright and dull in an unnatural mixture of radiance. The robed figure isn't concerned at all, likely having seen and performed this same event so many times that the wonder has been lost.

The ingredients liquefy without heat and form a moderate amount of green mixture in the cauldron, the mixture pulsing like a heartbeat until the robed figure reaches in and pulls something out. The liquid condenses and solidifies in their right hand into a trio of silver rings while the remaining mixture evaporates into a fine mist that makes me cough from the unpleasant odour. I tense further when the figure tosses one of the rings into the air, my mind wondering what's going on and my hand reaching up to catch the ring out of the air.

A swirling portal of leaves appears and something flies out of it, the shape snatching the ring out of the air before disappearing with the same spell. Roeray tells me not to think about what just happened, her hands adjusting my shoulders so I'm facing towards the robed figure again. The figure casually tosses the remaining two rings at me but they do so too quickly, both rings bouncing off of my chest before I awkwardly catch them in both hands. Roeray throws something at her in exchange and the robed figure catches the thrown sack with minimal effort, placing it inside their robe slowly. They move on to another task involving the cauldron and I say my thanks awkwardly as I'm turned around and lead outside, the encounter confusing given its speed and lack of communication.

"Alchemists are a weird bunch. Don't think about it," Roeray whispers as she leads me down the street towards a nearby wooden bench. I have so many questions I want to ask as we take a seat but Roeray takes both rings out of my hands, putting one onto her right ring finger. She takes my left hand and slips the other ring onto my index finger, saying with plenty of undertones, "You don't need to buy my love. You already know how to get it-"

"This shopping trip isn't repaying anything, is it..." I whisper half-jokingly, a playful push to my face her reply. She doesn't give me an answer but I'm content with seeing what the ring does. I reach out magically to activate it with a flash of white light but something appears on the right side of my vision, shapes and colours swirling in place. I blink a few times to bring the shapes into coherence, my vitals appearing below two more displays. Two other figures with names and locations accompany my image.

"Tracking rings. Wherever we are, you can find us and we can find you," Roeray states, the image of her vitals flashing in time with her words but disappearing once she stops speaking. I nod my head but stare at the ring, the undertones of her words making me feel slightly sad. I couldn't think of what to say and I don't know what I want to express, my mind grasping at something but finding nothing in particular.

"You might wanna duck," Roeray says as she lays down rapidly on the bench, my head half turning to the left before something collides into me. I feel the fur on my skin as I'm thrown from the bench and hit the ground, a gasp of surprise escaping me as I land on my side upon the carved stone. My head snaps to the left to gauge my assailant even as my left arm starts to form into a weapon to defend myself.

The weapon only half forms because of my curiosity, my eyes quickly scanning my assailant and making the comparison against other foes. I had seen creatures like this before during my arena training sessions. Aura had called them werewolves, large beasts of ferocity and aggression that could rend a man into bloody pieces in second. The beast on top of me, however, isn't acting like the usual werewolf, their tongue licking my face enthusiastically when I remain still. The sheer confusion caused by their actions suppresses my urge to lash out and Roeray rolls out of her seat and stands up. She walks slowly towards us while saying with a wide smile, "Bestiality, huh? I kinda figured you'd lay down with anything that gives you enough attention."

I try to reply but can't manage it because the creature is licking my face too fervently, blocking my mouth from forming words. My left-hand changes back to a normal hand so I can push them off but all I can do is push them slightly back, their mouth closing as they start whining at me. I freeze in place at the sound and stare back at the creature in mute shock, unsure of what to make of what I'm hearing. The sound they make is the same one Doris makes when she's upset and taking the time to look at the panting wolf creature, there's no mistaking the dark green fur covering their muscled body or the wild mane of light green hair across their head and back.

"Are you...Doris?...what happened to you...?" I whisper in disbelief as Roeray crouches down and runs her hand through the wolf's hair. The creature turns their head curiously towards her but not for long, their gaze returning to me as Roeray states with amusement, "Did you think that she wasn't as flawed like us? She has lycanthropy-"

"But why? She was fine before...wasn't she?" I whisper in confusion but Roeray just shakes her head and rises to her feet, shrugging her shoulders and tilting her head slightly to the right. I tense when the creature growls lowly at me, the sound of something snapping and tearing accompanied by them vibrating on top of me. With me watching, the beast shrinks into something more familiar and though I want to deny the evidence of my eyes, I can't bring myself to deny the sounds of flesh and bones reshaping nor the result that remains.

"You woke us up in more ways than one and I don't fully understand what you did but it made us...different," Roeray explains as Doris takes a moment to collect herself but resumes licking my face once they complete their change. My head tries to turn away from the show of affection so that I can answer properly and I'm forced to lean up sharply, pushing the hound off me lightly so I can reply. "What do you mean? I just bound us together with what we already had. I didn't change anything."

Roeray shows me her right-hand palm upwards, a ball of green fire forming and swirling around her hand to my visible unease. It's unmistakably the fire that nearly killed all three of us and destroyed the throne room yet Roeray doesn't seem concerned, going as far as letting the fire dance up her arm and back down like it's harmless. She's enjoying my unease, smiling widely as she explains, "Fairy fire. I can control it...and yes, it's the same fire that nearly killed us all."

"What the hell did I do!?" I whisper in a panic, feeling the simplicity of saving them become something I no longer understand. I don't even see or hear Roeray move but the next thing I know, her hand is under my chin as she gently angles my head to view her face. She chuckles to herself and gives me a light kiss on the lips, chuckling again before saying her next words.

"You think too much...and that's not our dynamic."


	24. CONSUME

**CHAPTER III: CONSUME**

* * *

"I regret...everything..." Roeray groans from nearby, my own body feeling just as exhausted as she feels. I open my eyes to extreme blur, soreness and disorientation an extra reward for attempting sight. Most of my senses feel dulled and I can't think straight, my body feeling like its shifting and wobbling like I was sliding around in circles. I'm unable to form any sort of language due to the headache pounding in my skull, a croak of discomfort my answer to her words.

"Why did we even...my head hurts..." Roeray whispers with a slight slur, my senses slightly focusing after an unknown span of idling. I'm not even sure if she's saying anything aloud or if the words are a hallucination from my pained brain but as my senses sluggishly clear and my headache starts to dissipate slightly, I start to feel something on my torso. At first, I think I'm laying on my stomach but my equilibrium starts to return normal after more moments, confirming that I'm on my back. I have to rub my eyes of grime once I realize that they're caked with it, blinking a few times and relieved that I can see better.

Fur rubs my chin and I tense in surprise, the same sensation of fur rubbing the left side of my body. An unfamiliar woman's voice sighs lightly and my left arm slowly rises from the mattress, moving upwards and towards my chest until I tap fur with my fingertips. As I place my arm around someone's back, a thought forming in my head as I say in resignation, "Did I-"

"Ask me later..." Roeray groans but her answer only makes me more curious. I slowly slide my body backwards to place my back against the headboard, feeling sluggish and sore with every movement now that I can feel my skin and scales again. Since I'm holding onto the unknown figure, they're pulled upwards with me and yawn in a wolfish way, their tongue licking my face lightly once we're fully upright. Such simple actions are enough to confirm who it is but denial is my first response to the physical sensation, a mixture of horror, dread, and confusion dumping into my laboured brain to try and blot out the reality.

I stare blankly ahead for a few seconds until Roeray groans and she moves her knees, my chin brushing fur as I look to my right automatically. She stretches her arms behind her and rubs her eyes so she can open them, her head shaking slightly as if adjusting her clarity. One look in my direction and she bursts into laughter, falling backwards and holding her stomach to emphasize her amusement. She rolls onto her side away from me as she says through her laughter, "Oh...my...god!...you did!... I thought you were...were joking!...you are...oh wow!..."

"What...even happened...yesterday?" I groan as I start to gain some coherence, memories tumbling in my head but none of them useful. My left-hand slides upwards slowly while I think, rubbing wildly unkept fur along the way until I find a pair of long ears. I scratch the ears lightly with my fingertips and the owner of the ears shakes their head slightly. Roeray eventually stops laughing long enough to sit up and exclaim with amusement, "Now I see why you agreed so readily to have a few drinks! You wanted to get comfortable enough to mate with another partner!"

"I...may have?...I'm trying to remember..." I reply in confusion, Roeray rolling back towards us just so she can roll her eyes and groan in frustration. She slides herself closer and asks Doris to scoot over, the hound obeying her wish as Roeray slowly gets up and leans against me. Her arms wrap around my waist but her casual use of names shatters any denial I try to build, a sigh of grim acceptance escaping me as I return her hug with my right arm.

Though I'm unsure if it was my decisions or Roeray's influencing that made this happen, I push the thoughts aside and focus on the present situation. Doris starts whining at me and rubbing her snout against my chin, my face smiling as I resume scratching her head and ears to her yawn of appreciation. Roeray chuckles lightly and adds in, "How can you not remember the amount of...contact...we had together? Were you that drunk?"

"I don't know still...what did I drink?" I whisper as I keep trying to find some coherence among the garbled fragments of memory. The more I focused, the more the memories eluded me but Roeray doesn't help, her hands suddenly turning my head towards her. She smiles wickedly before laying heavy, unexpected and smothering kisses on my lips, my mind temporarily lost as I return her kiss with an uncharacteristic level of enthusiasm. The physical interaction helps me think and I start to feel the magic flowing from her into me, the magic helping me focus and adapt.

The drink I had was called a Stensil but was spiked with some form of distilled honey from an unknown creature. Sous-chef tried to warn me of the hallucinogenic properties but Roeray had insisted that I drink it. I obeyed her will blindly then, downing the substance and feeling fine for the first few moments. As I break off Roeray's kiss by pushing her forehead lightly with my right hand, I gasp and whisper groggily, "You...drugged me...you knew what that drink would... do to me...didn't you?"

"I didn't drug you...but I did orchestrate the situation...you're easy to get into bed..." she gasps as she pushes my hand away and takes what she wants instead of asking for permission. It's like trying to struggle out of a net and as I fall into the moment with unwanted gusto, I start to wonder if she's still drunk or under the influence of something. My senses focus and clear further with each moment she injects me with magic, my memory starting to come back in a rush of power. My entire body jolts painfully as every minuscule discharge of magic is revealed in vivid detail. I immediately focus on containing the sensations to manageable levels, Roeray still kissing me and trying to use her magic to heal me through contact.

To my surprise, Doris is suddenly pushing her completely off me mid-kiss, Roeray flopping onto the mattress next to us. She smiles and giggles to herself as she tilts her head to the right, Doris wrapping her arms around my shoulders and growling at her threateningly. I feel a wave of magic slam into me like a hurricane, Doris using her magic to try and overwrite whatever had transpired. Roeray, in turn, ignores her and shimmies to the edge of the bed, standing up and saying as she stretches her arms, "I needed to know her stakes in all this and to be honest, you both surprised me...this was not the outcome I was expecting."

I don't know why the words hurt me. Maybe its the feeling of being a pawn in another's game or maybe it's leftover trauma from the reality of my situation. Either way, my shoulders slump and I lower my head, staring at nothing in particular as a gnawing sorrow takes hold. A sudden feeling of numbness takes me and I hear Roeray ask me what's wrong. I don't know what to say or have any urge to respond, my thoughts becoming darker and less enthusiastic about anything. Before I can sink further into whatever depression has me, Doris breaks the silence with, "I apologise...I only wanted us to get along...I didn't consider what you wanted...forgive me..."

"I'm still not used to you speaking elvish," I half-joke as I scratch her head lightly with my left hand, the hound shaking her head in reply. I start chuckling ruefully as my dark mood starts to evaporate, more thoughts coming to light as I regain some sense of joy. I turn my head to Roeray, her concern apparent on her face as I say, "What outcome were you trying to get out of this?"

Roeray doesn't reply, forcing us to wait patiently for an answer. The silence stretches out uncomfortably until she finally sighs in frustration and sadness. She turns away from us and explains sharply, "I wanted you for myself...having Doris try to advance on you while you're in a vulnerable state and you denying her when she does so was my plan...but the plan backfired as you already know...you weren't supposed to get this close to her...but...I also wasn't thinking of your needs at all...I was being selfish."

"I hope we're even then," I reply with a shrug, both of them turning to me with a mix of confusion and relief. At first, I think I've said something wrong because they stare at me silently for too long. I eventually realize that they're waiting for me to explain and I try to put my words in another way, stumbling a bit as I try to make my thoughts clearer. "This lifestyle is new to us so it's not too_..._crazy...that we...test our limits?"

Doris extends her left hand towards Roeray, balling it into a fist and holding it in front of her. Roeray comes back to us and sits at the edge of the bed, her eyes staring at the fist for a few seconds. She eventually groans lightly and leans over to tap her right fist against it, her fist either missing deliberately or intentionally. She shimmies herself closer until she can reach and repeats the action, both of them holding the gesture until she says with mild annoyance, "Fine...truce...for now..."

"What does that mean when you do that?" I interrupt as they break away uncomfortably from each other and shift their attention back to me, Roeray smiling ruefully and shaking her head. Doris slides herself off me but brushes her long tail against my chest in an oddly seductive way. Both her and Roeray ignore the question entirely and as she slides past Roeray, Roeray states as she gets up, "Lord Ainz requested your presence in the throne room. Get on that-"

"Don't just blow me off! I really wanna know!" I exclaim in frustration but this only serves to make Roeray amused, a light chuckle escaping her as she forms her dress of leaves around herself. I don't have enough time to stop them or demand a further explanation, both of them disappearing via teleportation and leaving me confused and slightly angry at their behaviour.

Having nothing else to do, I decide to obey the instructions and go meet Lord Ainz.

* * *

The throne room is empty when I arrive and looking around the room, there's no evidence of prior damage. Everything looks as it always does even as I search for any sign of prior damage. Finding nothing among the flooring or pillars, I shrug to myself and walk towards the main throne which is currently empty of its main occupant. I start to wonder if I'm being deceived given the lack of presences but throw the thought aside, joking to myself that I was always being deceived at every moment.

I reach the raised throne and stand idly in front of it for a moment, looking around for anything or anyone in the hall that's out of the ordinary. It feels strange to be alone in such a large and elaborate space but before I can think of turning around and walking away, Lord Ainz appears from thin air and sits grandly on his throne. His presence is shockingly solid as if he'd been there all along and he's quick to tell me before the shock can settle, **"No need to show your loyalty with obeisance. This is a talk between two equals, is it not?"**

"I don't think I qualify, Lord Ainz," I say in reply but he chuckles at my comment, gesturing with his left hand for me to come closer. It isn't something I relish because up close, Lord Ainz's magical presence and physique are far more intimidating and overpowering. Nevertheless, I do as instructed and move within a few steps of his throne. Even idle, I can feel the sheer magical might radiating from them, potent and beyond anything that I can muster. The only silver lining being this close offers is that for a single moment, we're the same height due to him sitting down.

**"There is much for us to discuss now that you are bound to our cause but first, are you feeling well? Have you healed most of the wounds you sustained?" **he intones but we both know the answer already. He could easily read my information with his senses and I hesitate for a second, eventually answering them with mild unease, "I...feel alright...but there are complications...I feel...different...and I'm unsure how or why-"

Lord Ainz says nothing for long moments, a skeletal hand going to his chin in contemplation. He intones as he holds the gesture,** "You are one of the few beings I've met that has Three as One. Your growth into this...trait, as we categorize it...is still in progress. You will feel a little off for some time and that is normal. What surprises me is that...the three of you act independently and show very little common traits. That is abnormal."**

Hearing someone else explain what I have is intimidating. It hadn't fully sunk in that I was part of a greater whole and that my soul was split into three pieces, two of the pieces having lives of their own. Lord Ainz, however, already has more to say, intoning as I listen intently, **"I leave it to Demiurge to study the matter further. I brought you here to discuss what I couldn't before. It is time you learn what our goals are and your part in it."**

I stand there in silence, nodding my head lightly to give him a sign that I heard him but not understanding why he needed to share anything with me. Lord Ainz removes the hand from his chin, his next words intoned deliberately and in a slight whisper. **"Albedo and I have discussed your presence and its import since you arrived. She believes I shouldn't have stopped your execution and remains firm in this reservation. ****She is...meticulous in her duties.**** However...given your recent death and rebirth, she learned that you cannot perish normally."**

"Will she try to kill me again?" I ask Lord Ainz with a mix of fear and anger, fear because of how powerful she is but anger at her blatant distrust of me. Lord Ainz shakes his head no, explaining with some amusement, **"It's her...personal agenda...to destroy all evidence and presences of supreme beings in the New World so that, and I quote, the rights of Lord Ainz to the rulership of the New World in its entirety would be undisputed. I have amended this to only destroy those that stand against us...you are the first New World-born supreme being to side with us."**

So much information given so freely makes my head spin and I don't have a response ready, my mind still trying to unravel all of the implications of what he just told me. I'm still not sure why he's telling me any of this but he doesn't notice my confusion, intoning further, **"Albedo requested that this information be confidential but...only the floor guardians should not be told...However, you must consider what I am telling you is secret and that no floor guardian can hear of this from you."**

"But why tell me this at all? I don't feel like a supreme being nor am I that important-" I reply in growing confusion but Lord Ainz gestures towards my left arm before I can finish. I move the arm forward for him to see but he takes my hand and holds it, a blue box appearing in front of his other hand. Whatever language it's written is hurts to look upon and he doesn't move initially, his glowing gaze staring at the box in contemplation. He eventually manipulates the display, his skeletal fingers poking and prodding the box until it does as he commands.

Pain follows his actions, bright and vibrant as I groan in agony and fell to my knees. Something cracks audibly nearby and I feel my flesh tearing and reshaping uncomfortably, my eyes screwing shut to try and ward off the feeling of nausea. Lord Ainz intones clearly through the din of pain, **"I have disabled the inhibitor Demiurge implanted inside your brain. Your body is reshaping into another form based on your potential."**

The words are cold and analytical, spoken as a matter of fact. I open my eyes and lift my left arm into view, watching as bones snap and flesh tears. Blood runs from rents in the skin, my fingers shrinking and growing at an alarming rate. Only four fingers remain, my pinky shrinking into nothing as nails grow into dark talons that extend from the fingertips. I clench the hand uncomfortably despite the pain, blood leaking out of my cut palm from the talons scraping skin. Crimson becomes dark brown and the wound closes rapidly, so rapidly that I groan in pain from the burning sensation of mending flesh.

The muscles on the arm swell and spikes push from under the skin, small gouts of dark blood falling down my arm. I try to force myself to my feet but my left leg feels numb and unstable, my left hand going to the leg but cutting the skin accidentally with the talons. My breathing, pained and laboured, becomes bestial and aggressive in my ears, something swelling inside my chest making it harder to breathe. I hold my chest with my right arm to ward off the discomfort, my insides shifting uncomfortably under my palm.

My gorge rises from the feeling and I vomit involuntarily, fluids and semi-solids spewing from my mouth as I fall to all fours. The contents of my stomach coats the floor, each pulse of discomfort expelling foul liquids and random pieces onto the ground. I taste blood and bile in my mouth, spitting a few times into the bloody pile of red flesh and bile lying on the ground. The sight of it disgusts me and I scrabble backwards to distance myself from the mass but with my lack of coordination, I fall onto my back instead. I cry out in pain from the landing, the spiked ridges running along my spine pushing uncomfortable into my innards.

I have to roll onto my right side to avoid the pain and thankfully, the crunching and shifting of flesh and bone are reaching their end. I place my right hand to my head as a wave of dizziness and nausea tries to take hold again, my body rising slowly and staggering to the left before my balance returns. A chill runs through my body as it tries to readjust to another temperature, my body shifting between too hot and too cold until it finds the right state.

My balance doesn't stay stable for long and I fall to my left but before I hit the ground, Lord Ainz prevents my fall. He tells me to remain calm but I can't suppress the feelings of fear and as I slowly lift my left arm, the arm is shaking slightly from a mix of exhaustion and mental trauma. Along with the inhuman hand that boasted black talons, a line of spikes run across the face of the hand, running up my arm to my shoulder. Some of the spikes match the colour of the runes on the skin they replaced but my gaze is drawn back to Lord Ainz as I ask him desperately, **"Wha...why?...why did I...become this?..."**

The deep, bestial, echoing resonance makes me wince and I swallow from the discomfort of speaking. Lord Ainz doesn't reply, lightly placing me on my feet so that we're both standing but placing his hands lightly on my shoulders. Whatever comfort the gesture is meant to provide is lost when he answers my question, the words so casually spoken that they feel more dreadful to hear.

**"Because I need your help taking over the New World."**


	25. SUBVERSION

**CHAPTER IV: SUBVERSION**

* * *

World domination was the goal. Lord Ainz gave me a summary of what the Great Tomb of Nazarick already controlled and what needed to be taken. For the first time, I didn't believe him outright because it sounded too ridiculous and unbelievable to be true. Lord Ainz did what I least expected and showed me the evidence, a combination of live feeds through magic mirrors and recorded images through the eyes of those present.

Important royalty was replaced, recent conflict was orchestrated, and direct force was performed. The massacre of Katze Plains, the assimilation of the Baharuth Empire, and the reformation of the Re-Estize Kingdom under Queen Renner. Some of the most world-changing events I knew of in my lifetime were just a fraction of the exploits performed by Lord Ainz and their servants.

I couldn't deny the evidence even though I tried. It became shockingly clear that most of the major nations of the New World were already vassals of the Sorcerer Kingdom, though all maintained their customs and national identities to avoid suspicion. The Slane Theocracy and the Elf Kingdom were among the few nations that remained free of influence, the Slane Theocracy being the nearest to the Sorcerer Kingdom's borders. The newest campaign is what Lord Ainz called them both, a term that chilled me to the core.

Irlo was a border town near the Sorcerer Kingdom, making it one of the first places an invader would hit if they wanted to attack. My discovery had placed the grand plan of conquest on hold for a time until I was integrated fully into the Great Tomb of Nazarick. The power I could wield couldn't be ignored and would aid them immensely in the coming conflicts.

Conquest. I was tasked with conquering the two free lands and bringing them into the control of Lord Ainz and the Sorcerer Kingdom. Protesting was my first response but such words did no good, Lord Ainz already expecting my resistance and planning accordingly. My oath of loyalty would be enforced if I refused, the magic preventing me from denying his will. They didn't want to force me into their designs so as a compromise, they allowed me time to finish all of the loose ends I had and willingly become comfortable with the plan. I grudgingly agreed because the thought of becoming a mindless servant was more terrifying than serving reluctantly.

Lord Ainz added one more detail before dismissing me, one that I found harder to believe in a more comical sense. The origins of the plan for world domination had been a jest with Demiurge that the archdevil had taken too seriously. Lord Ainz didn't expect that his jest would become an actual plan until months later when he learned of the guardian's exploits towards the plan. Rather than put a stop to their actions, Lord Ainz went along with the plan to preserve all of the work that they'd already done. If anything, Lord Ainz seemed content with letting the world be and focused on correcting things that needed correcting, something that I could agree with.

In a moment of rare emotion, Lord Ainz admitted to being a poor leader, one gifted with great knowledge and fighting prowess but with few means to run a coalition of nations. It sounded impossible a concept given their accomplishments but they corrected me, stating that only with the aid of the guardians had they gotten this far. When they first learned of the plan to control the world, most of their strategy was the direct approach, conquering the world with greater might. This was not without opposition and casualties had been inflicted on the side of Nazarick.

It was Demiurge who showed Lord Ainz the example of other nations doing the same and the chaos that resulted from such blunt plans. Lord Ainz quickly put a stop to the direct approach and endeavoured to seek other means of bringing nations into compliance. Subtler plans were formed and vassals became the primary objective of the conquest, the Great Tomb of Nazarick setting its sights on the Slane Theocracy now that most of the other nations were subdued.

Lord Ainz didn't accept my reluctant agreement and told me to finish my training before saying such words so willfully again. It was the closest he had ever gotten to irritated with me and his minor rage was enough for me to fear him greatly. Though he apologizes for his outburst and dismisses me, I still feel afraid of him as I leave.

I start to believe that I would never be above the fear of them.

* * *

"So you've come of your own volition? How strange," Shalltear states politely as I enter the main foyer of her home, my head nodding lightly as I walk slowly forward. She doesn't follow my pace on foot, her body shifting into dark butterflies that flutter ahead of me to the upper steps of the grand staircase. I have to concentrate to walk up the stairs, my hand holding onto the right railing for balance. Shalltear comments that my new appearance made me look more intimidating, a good quality that I needed, but all I can do is give her a nod.

I'm unwilling to reveal too much until we're in relative privacy and I'm doing my best not to stumble back down the stairs. She must know something is off because when I reach where she's standing, she doesn't move and leans against the railing I'm using for balance. It's another show of dominance, a clear indication that she can simply deny me whenever she wished. Though I want to disobey her, more so than usual, I let go of the railing and journey up the rest of the stairs on the left side. I don't get far without assistance and am forced to use the other railing on the wall for balance, Shalltear saying in annoyance as I pass, "You better not damage my house with your clawed hand."

I lift my left hand off the railing, cringing a little at the sight of the indents I leave in the wood. I'm expecting Shalltear to notice but when I look back at her, she's already moving up the staircase at a casual stroll. I follow her out of instinct and watch her approach a door flanked by her servants. Both servants bow as they open the door for her, Shalltear walking inside with me close behind. A grand banquet is laid out on a large wooden table with enough food to feed a dozen people. Every course imaginable is present from deserts of outlandish design to plates of cooked animals. I'm so enraptured by the sights and smells of the display that I don't notice Roeray and Doris sitting at the table until Roeray gets my attention by throwing an apple at my head.

I catch the apple deftly with my right hand, not registering my movements until I look at the apple in confusion. Roeray smiles and nods but Doris leaps out of her seat and rushes at me on all fours. I drop the apple and tense my body, bracing for the impact to come but even braced, her momentum pushes me to the ground with a loud thud. My back arches when I land on the spikes growing on my back, my body angling slightly to the right to avoid the discomfort. Doris shoves her snout into my face and licks me enthusiastically but my focus is on avoiding pricking her with the spikes lining my body and avoiding the painful sensations caused by the spikes touching solid objects.

Shalltear laughs at the show of affection but doesn't stop moving, her pace taking her to her seat at the table. I make sure to use only the flat of my left hand to push lightly on Doris' chest, doing my best to prevent the claws from scraping her. In reply, her form leaps off me with amazing agility, twirling in the air and landing in her original seat as if her actions were of no consequence. All the eyes in the room are now on me, each gaze measuring me in their way as I slowly rise to my feet and find a seat at the table. There's the sound of shredding upholstery as my spikes tear at the wood and fabric of the seat, Shalltear showing a hint of irritation before masking it from us.

I hear a clicking sound noise from somewhere and realize that it's the talons on my left foot tapping against the ground, both of my feet halting in their movements upon realization. As I take my seat, Shalltear says in an excited tone to those assembled, "So the time has finally come! Conquest yet another land that opposes Lord Ainz! The whole tomb is abuzz with this new development!"

**"Yes..." **I say uncomfortably, doing little to hide my discomfort. The growling, grating voice causes Doris to tense and growl at me, Shalltear laughing at my expense while Roeray places a hand on her head. Roeray says to me with amusement, "Okay...what happened to you this time? Besides the obvious mutations?"

Everyone keeps staring at me expecting an answer, making me uncomfortable when I don't say anything. Shalltear is visibly enjoying my discomfort and makes no attempts to interrupt the latest development but Roeray gently stands up and moves around the table at a slow pace. Her sigh of frustration is loud in the silence and she reaches me in good time, lightly lifting my left arm by the wrist.

**"Wait-" **I try to say but it's already too late for warnings. Magical energy arcs off my arm into her hand and Roeray takes a few stumbling steps back from me. Her right-hand goes to her head and she closes her eyes, her face displaying her discomfort and pain. I'm already rising out of my seat, shredding the seat and flooring to see what's wrong. When I reach out to her with my right hand, however, she deftly holds it with her free hand and shakes her head no. In a commanding tone tinted with mild pain, she whispers to me, "I'm alright...I just need to focus..."

Her black wings start to unfold from her back, appearing slowly bit by bit and expanding outwards into the room. They keep expanding beyond what I've seen, the yellow patterns becoming more elaborate as the wings continue to grow. The second pair of wings forms behind the first, mirroring the patterns and growing to a similar size. Then a third pair grows behind the second, all three pairs of wings becoming solid. The yellow patterns start to glow gently with contained power, lighting up the already lit room further.

Roeray breathes out lightly and puts her arms to her sides, her wings moving around me as she opens her eyes. Emerald eyes glow with an internal light, the glow pulsing in time with her wing's gentle movements. She smiles a simple smile and shrugs, the wings disappearing from sight as her eyes return to their normal lustre. She places her left hand on the side of my head, telling me to relax as she accesses my powers through touch.

The left side of my body starts to sting from whatever she's doing. She holds me upright with a right armed embrace around my waist as I try to contain a cry of pain, the sound muffled behind my lips as the spikes on my left arm and back retract back into my skin. She closes my eyes with a quick movement of her left hand but the feeling of reshaping flesh and reforming bones isn't muted by the lack of sight. Magic flows from her to me in an attempt to make the pain manageable, her voice whispering for me to endure the agony and remain calm. She says loudly soon after, "Your body isn't meant to house the full power of a supreme being. I wish Lord Ainz had told me beforehand so I could prepare you but...no one is perfect."

**"I **fe**e**l... **stra**ng**e**..." I whisper in a warbling voice, my head hurting from the sound of my voice. Roeray tells me to remain quiet but something touches my right arm, a painful jolt causing my entire body to convulse in place. More unstable magic siphons from my innards and in reply to my plight, Roeray growls in frustration and brings me into a closer embrace. She tries to remain soothing despite her tone of frustration, whispering into my left ear, "Doris tried to make things happen faster. It's almost over."

"Tha**nk**s...**y**_o_u t**wo** ar_e _**ver**y...**help**f_ul._.." I warble with a sarcastic smile and a hint of genuine gratitude. I hear Roeray snort and feel her tap the left side of my head roughly, her sarcastic reply carrying dark undertones. "If our souls weren't linked, I'd just let you explode from the magical build-up. Be grateful that I value our lives more than you do."

"I...t**ry**..." I reply with more sarcasm but as I finish the words, my body seems to balance and harmonize. The pain subsides and I open my eyes slowly, feeling disoriented despite not moving and catching Roeray shifting from concern to mild amusement. She lets go of me and takes a step back as something slams into me from the right, the force knocking me to the ground and disorienting me further. I'm able to rotate enough during the fall to land on my back but regret the move, my orientation allowing Doris to lick my face unhindered with newfound enthusiasm.

"You just_ had _to bond with an enthusiastic woman," Roeray groans in annoyance, making no attempts to aid me and walking away from me. I try to make Doris stop by pushing her lightly away like before but she's more persistent, forcing me to turn my head away to avoid some of her affection. Something clicks in my head and an idea strikes, old memories helping me form a plan.

"Doris! Heel!" I say with conviction, thankful that my voice had returned to something recognizable. At first, she doesn't obey at all but over time, she backs away enough for me to shake my head and get some of the slobber off my face. I turn my gaze upwards and see the wolfish grin on her face, her tongue lolling out of her mouth as she pants at me. Closing her mouth and turning her head in curiosity, she whines at me even as my body moves into a sitting position, her body following my movements. I sigh lightly in resignation at her supposed innocence, placing my right hand on her head. She wags her tail too enthusiastically when I scratch her head, the movement causing some of her body to wiggle.

"I'm getting the feeling that you're more hound then woman..." I whisper as I rise to my feet awkwardly, Doris springing to her feet and pulling me the rest of the way upwards. I feel two harsh gazes on me and try to get back to the table to avoid the coming reprisals but Doris walks backwards in front of me, blocking my path even as I try to sit down. I'm forced to take my seat with Doris sitting on the ground next to my right leg, Shalltear stating from across the table, "Do you always spoil every woman you bond with? No wonder they consider you a weak man-"

"He isn't a man. We both know he isn't designed to be a strong man," Roeray answers with amusement before I can speak, my shoulders shrugging in acceptance of her words. Shalltear shifts her gaze between Roeray and me as if confirming her words silently, her smile becoming predatory and making me squirm a little in discomfort. I immediately feel more foolish when both Roeray and Shalltear laugh together, their laughter sounding genuine but with knowing undertones. They make me feel like a child among adults, one that doesn't understand half of what is said and one that has a hard time keeping control of their emotions. I exhale angrily from my nose and try to calm down from the rising feelings of inferiority, Shalltear nodding to herself and turning to Roeray to say with forced politeness, "I'll accept your terms...on the condition that you tell me everything you know about him."

Roeray passes her a parchment scroll that Shalltear takes with another nod, the scroll unrolling magically in front of her and floating so she can read its contents. I'm more confused than anything at the current development but simply watch, Shalltear reading the scroll and growing more and more amused by the second. She smiles and giggles to herself as she reads but she eventually tosses the scroll aside for an attendant to catch, her smile showing her teeth as she says to me, "Your will is weak to those who've cared for you. I guess you weren't lying when you said you willingly allowed my charms to work."

"The only lies I've given so far are lies of omission," I reply but such a phrase gets everyone's attention. All eyes lock on me again but Roeray is the first to speak, saying with forced politeness, "And what, exactly, have you tried to hide from us?"

"Roeray, I can't hide anything from you and you know it. Quit playing around," I state in rebuttal, Roeray crossing her arms and sitting back in her chair. The harsh stare she gives me says she isn't joking and Shalltear is more forward with her harshness, asking bluntly, "I've heard a few rumours here and there about your wants and desires...some of which concern me. Care to elaborate on these rumours?"

It's a question that I'm dreadfully afraid of her asking and hearing it now fills me with greater dread than I thought I'd feel. Although I had gone over in my head what I would say if she ever asked, her forwardness disarms me and leaves me feeling woefully unprepared. Long seconds of tense silence pass but she doesn't press the issue, smiling darkly at me instead and nodding her head as if expecting this outcome. Her next words, spoken with grim amusement, tell me why she's smiling

"You don't need to answer right now. We'll have plenty of time to learn together."


	26. WILLPOWER

**CHAPTER V: WILLPOWER**

* * *

My greatest weakness in combat, besides magical attack, was mental attacks. Not only could a smarter opponent manipulate such a weakness, but they could also exploit it and take control of my mind and body. Given my task of facing the best and brightest that the Slane Theocracy had ever produced, it was a weakness I couldn't afford to humour. Shalltear was willing to assist me in training my mental defences for the coming conflicts, something I willingly accepted.

Later, I would be told that the guardians had discussed my options, some voting on giving me to Neuronist Painkill to fortify my mind. However, after discovering my weakness towards people that showed me compassion, Shalltear took it upon herself to finish the final steps of my training.

I wasn't allowed to leave Shalltears domain for any reason and no one was allowed to visit me. Her training started lightly at first, a broken finger bone here and a harsh word there but it wasn't anything new from her usual behaviour and my body was able to heal the minor damage within a few minutes. As days passed, however, the trauma increased in potency with flesh and bone receiving harsher treatment. Organs were ruptured with wanton abandon and each terrible blow was delivered with a gentle slowness that was agonizing to experience. Shalltear enjoyed every moment of my pain, smiling at me with manic delight and conversing with me as she tore my flesh and crushed my bones with her bare hands.

Counter magic halted my healing during these ordeals, making me endure the agony and the aftermath with no indication that it would end. I ranted and raved at her, asking her why she was doing this and how anyone could allow this to happen. She gave me no answers, ignoring my pleas and continuing her grim amusement without hindrance.

Without the gifts of a supreme being, I was surprisingly vulnerable and weak. This only made Shalltear more amused and more willing to break me, my attempts to fight back in such a state futile. Each attempt to fight back was punished with torture and forced periods of contemplation. She made me think about what I'd done as if I was merely prey, letting me wallow in the pain of her attention while offering no release from it.

Her magic assaulted my weakened mind as much as my body, maliciously breaking my will to endure and my ability to function even as it prevented the physical damage from healing. She eventually learned how to control my bodies abilities, toying with me by using my shapeshifting to damage myself. I had to endure my bones and flesh rearranging into unnatural forms, arms and legs becoming sacks of bloated meat and bone while my face became whatever she wanted it to be. The sheer amount of magical energy applied to my frame was pushing me to breaking point and Shalltear didn't allow me to dissipate the energy, her hands casually lifting my weakened body off the ground so she could watch as the energy tore my body apart from the inside out. She learned exactly how much energy to apply to cause me pain but keep me alive, a fact that I was forced to learn as well.

My mind had broken within the first week of her attention, transforming me into a wreck of a being who didn't know who or where he was. Shalltear gently nursed me back to health after the breakdown but as I slowly regained my faculties, she ensured me every day that the process would continue once I was fully healed. It became clear in time that her healing was just another form of torture, an opportunity for me to struggle with my own will and to comprehend what I was subjecting myself to.

The first time I was healed, I tried to flee the house by rising out of bed when she wasn't looking and trying to find an exit. There was nowhere to run because Shalltear had made sure that my magic didn't work in her domain. All of the doors were barred against my attempts to escape but she didn't need to have her servants find me because she wanted to find me herself. Like a grim game of hiding and seeking, I tried to hide within her home to avoid her torment, using whatever cover I could to evade her.

She was just playing with me, of course, her keen senses tracking me effortlessly. She eventually found me hiding in a closet and broke both of my legs to prevent further escapes before gently tossing me face-first onto the carpeted floor. Even as she drove the heel of her foot into my exposed back, she remained calm and spoke gently, giving me an ultimatum with no safe outcomes. _You can live a weakling...die a failure...or survive...it's your choice..._

The cycle of pain and escape repeated again and again for an unknown amount of time. My willpower was stretched, broken, and renewed multiple times. I started to understand why this was happening because, with each cycle, I would last a few hours longer during her torture. I knew that each new moment of clarity brought a new degree of pain as if taunting me not to proceed lest I see something worse the next day. Shalltear showed me how creative a torturer she could be and although I was progressing very slowly forward against my will, she convinced me every time that I was still weak.

All of the horrors paled in comparison to what she showed me in my nightmares. She forced me to watch illusions of my worst fears during the times that I was healing, starting with loved ones betraying and abandoning me. The beings I relied on turned their backs on me, calling me all manners of things or even striking at me with weapons. I couldn't bring myself to fight them at first, even in illusion form, and had to endure their attacks until the visions ceased, usually by me being bodily broken. Later, I tried to defend myself however I could but the attempt felt futile. Even in my dreams, my weakened body made utter defeat a certainty.

The visions shifted each time I was broken, new visions added to the mix of horror with each breakdown. I had to watch the ones I cared for most killed or violated by unknown beings, wicked laughter accompanying the screams of anguish. I screamed in denial at such horror but my screaming did nothing to stop the scenes of betrayal and darkness. All screaming did was enhance the horror further, making each scene more vivid and visceral as my mental defences fell. I tried to fight back against the horror, to destroy those who perpetrated these acts, but my body was still not my own and I was struck down each time. All I could do was watch as everything I held close to my soul was tainted by foul hands.

Finally, my worst fear was dragged from the pit of my mind and made real. I had to watch a shadow of myself become my nightmare, a ravenous draconic beast striking down everyone and everything that came near. I had to witness what my betrayal would herald, my weaponized body turned against those who helped me, cutting each one down without mercy or remorse. I couldn't believe it at first, couldn't believe that I was capable of striking down anyone from Nazarick or besting those that have defeated me before. But as the nightmare progressed and I had to witness the same scenes over and over, I was forced to acknowledge that I could indeed kill them if I had the will.

Underneath the misery and anguish, I learned from my fears and my weaknesses with each instance, hardening myself against the suffering so that I could kill those responsible with as much hatred and malice as I could muster. Shadows followed in my wake and I welcomed them, the shadows granting me new strength and heightening my urge to inflict bloody vengeance. One by one, the beings that had taunted me with my weakness were turned into bloody heaps of viscera, brutally chopped to bits in my growing frenzy of rage and defiance. I didn't empathize with my victims anymore because I wasn't them and would never be. The shadows seemed to approve of my bloody-mindedness and tore the visions out of my head, granting me clarity in the nightmares and urging me to end them all mercilessly.

I did as the shadows asked, slaughtering my way out of my dreams until it was time to face the worst of them. The most vivid memory I have of that time is strangling the illusion of myself with my bare hands, the creature with a twisted version of my face trying desperately to stop me. I had cut off both of their arms so they could do nothing but kick and gasp, my right arm rearing back as I formed it into a stabbing point. With a roar of pure hatred, I rammed the bladed limb into its skull again and again until there was nothing but blood and bone fragments left, my left hand releasing their throat dismissively. The shadows growled their satisfaction and I reached out to them, brushing my hand across otherworldy skin and pelts to their growing satisfaction.

The nightmares were over but it didn't matter how bloodily I defeated the foes in front of me. Friends and family lay dead or close to dead around me, their minds and bodies broken by their ordeals. Many of them called out for the mercy of death and in my grim state of mind, I delivered such mercy every time it was asked for. It sickened me to do so but I knew of no other ways to help them. All that remained after each ordeal was a pile of bodies, both friends and enemies. Whatever emotions I would feel on killing slowly faded with each passing moment. I felt hollow and tired, my eyes closing as I let myself succumb to whatever fate came next.

The images Shalltear showed me would haunt me forever.

* * *

"It has been four months since you were given to me and I've broken your mind and body more times than I care to remember. Your resistance has improved dramatically but one question remains that I haven't seen an answer to," Shalltear hisses as she tears at the scales on my left shoulder with her sharp nails, blood welling and running down my arm as I kneel before her. My gaze is downcast as she instructed but Shalltear seizes my chin with her hand and violently forces my head upwards, her ire growing at my resistance as she hisses, "I've probed your mind in its entirety and there are very few places you can hide anything...tell me where to find this place you keep speaking of."

Her hand closes on my chin and I feel the pressure increase, my jawbone creaking as she emphasizes her ire physically. I don't know what answer because I've tried every answer I could already. I remain silent instead, my actions resulting in a hard punch across my right cheek. The bone of my cheek cracks and she lets go of me so that the force of the impact knocks me aside, my body covering a short distance before coming to rest on my front. She shouts at me as I start to reel, "Get up or the next hit will be far less gentle!"

I do as instructed, groggily moving back to a kneel facing her but remaining silent. I hear her approach rapidly and tense as she seizes my neck in her grip, my throat squeezed shut as she lifts me slightly. I try to keep calm and keep my breathing level even as she tightens her grip enough to close my windpipe, her face smiling darkly and her eyes glowing an odd shade of pink as she whispers into my face, "I..._will..._find what you found...I may not be an expert torturer like Painkill...but I know how to make you talk..."

Magic flows from her and I let her in, closing my eyes and lowering my resistance despite my training to the contrary. Though she believes she's in control of the situation, I subtly guide her towards the specific part of my mind that I had noticed a few days ago, the part that I couldn't breach on my own. An unnatural barrier of darkness lies ahead and my will pushes her towards it. She resists being guided but once her mind and mine make contact with the barrier, cracks begin to form on its surface. Suddenly, she starts directing more energy towards the barrier as if the spell keeping it hidden was broken. I add my own will to her spell and together, we push into the darkness until it shatters. A black mist explodes from the ruptured shield into the surrounding of my mind, clearly acting with a life of its own as it wraps around us and pulls us into the depths.

I open my eyes and find myself surrounded by blackness, turning to my right to see Shalltear standing in the darkness with me. She looks the same here as she would in the waking world and her initial anger slowly fades to caution and confusion. I speak to her in the silence, my voice echoing as I say to her, "This is...a safe space in my mind...placed here by unknown hands...I think Lord Ainz knows of this place...but Roeray or Doris can't see it...and neither could you..."

Something appears from the shadows and instinctively, I'm moving behind Shalltear to impose myself between it and her. A dark green blade, initially aimed for Shalltear's back, strikes my left arm with a shower of sparks, the blade hissing with a magical field. Though the arm is covered in hardened steel, the weapon's field slowly cuts through my arm down into the flesh beneath. As the blade slices my arm, however, I pull out and slash with my dagger, cutting into the assailant's chest plate and forcing them back off in the process. I let my body heal itself and move into a defensive stance as the assailant regains their posture, their hands moving their blade in front of them in a defensive style.

**"You shouldn't have brought her here, kiddo. You've undone the balance," **the figure states in an even tone devoid of emotions but as I watch the hole in their armour seal itself, there's no mistaking the armour's pattern underneath the shadows. I move to an attacking posture, my left arm forming into a blade and my right hand holding my dagger defensively. Shalltear appears on my left in her full battle plate, her lance already wielded in her right hand and pointed at the foe as she states playfully, "So you're what Beric is worried so much about! _Now_ I understand!"

**"Leave this place," **the figure states to both of us as their blade flares brightly in their hands, their body moving into a defensive posture without seeming to move at all. Though I know I'll receive her ire, I reach out with my arm blade and lightly lower Shalltear's lance, a snort of irritation and amusement escaping her nose as she allows me to do so. The dagger in my right hand enters its sheath on my hip as I state to the figure, "I'm asking you to leave without a struggle before we have to force you out-"

**"You'll die before I leave this place. You are no match for me," **the figure answers and I barely see the figure move into an assault before it happens. Their blade slashes downwards at my skull but I sidestep the blade, having a feint of my own prepared in case they tried anything. What follows is a flurry of quick slashes and stabs they unleash, each blow occurring in milliseconds and aimed at vital areas on my body. However, each blow hits nothing and I can sense the desperation and futility in their strikes. Once I see an opening, I rip the sword from their grip with my right hand and reverse the blade on my attacker.

Before they can evade the coming blow, I ram the glowing metal into their torso directly into their heart, their flesh resisting for a second but eventually sundering under the blade's sharpness and magic. My right-hand releases the blade so my left fist can punch the sword hilt, sending the blade through the creature's body and out of their back to leave a ragged hole in their armour.

My left-arm rams into the hole even as they try to heal the damage, my limb slicing into otherworldly flesh and expanding into sharp spikes inside their body to rupture and shred the creature's innards. But the shadow isn't done fighting and tries to dislodge me with a few blows to the head with their arms delivered with unnatural strength. Their body tries to push the obstruction from their chest even as I harm them and I take several punches to the face before Shalltear steps in and decisively removes both of the creature's arms with casual hand movements. Their body is unable to repair full amputation but seals the previous wounds to prevent death by blood loss. The creature doesn't cry out and attempts to use their magic to attack me, dark smoke and spikes sprouting from them like a growing tree. Shalltear barely has to try to prevent them completely, familiar magic she used on me now directed at this new foe.

"You're leeching my strength...which is why you have to die..." I whisper harshly before closing my eyes and mentally activating the needed ritual. I hear Shalltear snort lightly as she gently carves the proper runes and symbols into my flesh with her sharp nails, each symbol accompanied by a burst of noise that I couldn't understand. Even though I can't see, I start to feel the creature panic in my grip, likely realizing what I'm trying to do and desperately trying to escape. Shalltear was already one step ahead, my mind already supporting the defences and fortification that she brought with her to prevent escape.

I open my eyes and see the shadowy facade drop, Shalltear moving behind the creature to casually remove both of their legs to prevent any physical escape. There wasn't a need but I feel nothing for the familiar form and face under the shadows, the cowering figure nothing but another enemy now. Even as Shalltear incites the final incantations in an unknown language, channelling her dark magic into me to make the ritual work, the figure raves at me hysterically, "Wait! This didn't succeed the last time it was tried! You'll create more abominations like you! Don't do-"

"Goodbye, father..." I hiss angrily as Shalltear reaches the end of the ritual, the figure screaming in fear and pain as the magic travels from my left arm into their form. What remains of their body is torn apart by black fire and reduced into its magical components, the heat from combustion intense but endured. Though the ritual is gruesome, I gain strange joy from the figure's screams even as I focus on absorbing their essence. The power that I don't absorb is siphoned off to a strange crystal that Shalltear is holding, the crystal growing bright with dark radiance as I feel the rest of the essence enter my body. Empty armour and various items fall to the floor but each one is sucked into my inventory magically, all items categorized and quickly forgotten.

The world around me starts to fade, the darkness giving way to cracks of green light that shower the surroundings in radiance. Shalltear is strangely unconcerned with what's transpiring around us and even offers me the choice to stay here to watch the end or leave immediately to do more important things. Though I want to flee and not witness whatever madness is occurring around me, I decide to stay to see this horror through, moving to a stand and inhaling in grim determination. Shalltear is greatly amused at my choice and stands on my left, her armour exchanged for her normal gown as she gently takes my left hand in a strangely intimate way. I don't even remember shifting my hand back but it doesn't matter. I close my eyes and listen to the bedlam of noise, squeezing her hand tightly as she says something loud enough for me to hear.

"I hope you survive this..."


	27. DEPENDANCE

**CHAPTER VI: DEPENDENCE**

* * *

I breathe in a gasp of air, my lungs stinging as a wave of disorientation makes thinking difficult. All I can see is a bright light and all I can hear is my breathing sounding uncomfortably loud in my ears. I'm able to remain calm because of prior experience and for some reason, I'm surprisingly ecstatic to be alive. My eyes close to blot out the light and I focus on balancing the conflicting sensations barraging me, slowly getting my bearings even over the obstructive noise of my breathing.

"Welcome back," a familiar voice states pleasantly over the din, their voice accompanied by a jolt of energy pushed into my chest without warning. I vibrate in place, my back bumping against something as I gasp in surprise. My senses tune faster than I could manage on my own and when my eyes snap open, Demiurge leans over me to block some of the light. He smiles widely down at me and wags his index finger as if I've done something wrong, his voice amused but disappointed when he says, "I guess it was too high of a hope that you'd survive your...affliction...Shalltear brought your corpse in a few hours ago after you expired in her care and after some brain surgery and a few close calls, you're as healthy as one in your situation can be-"

"Where is it?" I croak grimly as I try to rise, Demiurge losing his humour as he leans back and turns around. I orient my upper torso towards him as he turns back around with a glass jar containing a piece of flesh, the flesh bloody and glowing with dark radiance. I try to snatch the jar from him with my right hand but he pulls the jar away and tells me with a neutral expression, "I can't let you destroy this sample. It's rather valuable. Rest assured, Lord Ainz is certain that the presence within has been fully removed from this...as far as he can tell-"

"How can he be sure!?" I snap at him, Demiurge adjusting his glasses with his other hand and smiling widely at my aggression. The amount of anger and disdain I feel towards him is unwarranted and I try to calm myself down, laying back down forcefully on the slab and closing my eyes in an attempt to force myself to calm. The emotions of anger and outrage are harder to control this time and it takes a longer time to cool down but eventually, I manage an agitated exhale and open my eyes. Demiurge replies with a light chuckle and pats me on the head with his free hand, the overhead lighting turning off as he says to me sternly, "Shalltear gave me the report from your training. I spent some time recovering the missing event logs from the...last sections. I would expect that after devouring the soul of another being, you'd understand how unlikely their survival would be."

Hearing what I'd done aloud makes the anger disappear completely, the void left behind filling with a sense of shame and horror. Any lies I try to tell myself to justify my actions are snuffed out by the cold truths, knowledge stolen from another's soul rising to haunt me. I can barely manage to respond, saying in a hollow voice, "I...I condemned him to...nothingness..."

Demiurge pats me on the head gently and tries to sound soothing, saying in a gentle tone, "If it makes you feel better, it's increasingly clear that Thamus Lowarm intended to do the same to you. He manipulated your memories and your emotions from within that tumour in your brain. However, he didn't count on Nazarick being one step ahead. I expected such foul play from our enemies...but to devour his son...that takes a degree of indifference to do."

His voice is pleasant but there are undertones, ones that spoke of distrust and caution. It's a dreadful thing to consider after all we've been through but I force myself to consider the reasons for his caution, finding unpalatable answers and forcing myself to recognize the reality. I give voice to my doubts, saying in an unconvinced and defeated tone, "My loyalty...was just another lie...my father...was trying to make me stronger so he could...consume me and live again...then they would attack Nazarick from within and steal its secrets..."

"What do you plan to do now?" Demiurge asks forcefully and thankfully, I don't hesitate to give him an answer. The horrors are forgotten momentarily so I can smile ruefully and reply in a half-joking tone. "I have nowhere to go, Lord Demiurge...you know this...the least I can do is make good on what I promised Lord Ainz...I have a nation to conquer for Nazarick...right?..."

Demiurge takes my right hand into his own, placing his other hand on top of it as I place my left hand on top of his. I'm unsure if it's the feeling of nostalgia or the feeling of acceptance but the moment causes me to cry lightly, light tears falling down my face before I can attempt to control my emotions. He chuckles and shakes my hands, his smiling face carrying a hint of remorse as he half-jokes in reply, "I wouldn't have enjoyed killing you if you decided to say otherwise. I'm glad that after the lies and the manipulations, you still have a decent sense of self...but, to be frank, it's surprising Shalltear didn't leave you a babbling husk with a shattered mind."

"She did break me a few times...and I died...again..." I reply but all of a sudden, he loses his smile and his face takes on a neutral expression. His posture changes from casual to stern and he releases my hands, his hands moving to his sides as he gives me a gaze of judgement and appraisal. I know from prior events that what he's about to say would be severe, his tone neutral as he tells me, "Roeray is going through the same training with Shalltear as you did to remove her weakness but her training is far worse. Despite Nazarick saving a model for training based on your experience, she's stubborn and independent so breaking her will is a painful process. I wish I could offer you the lie that she'll be alright but there's a good chance that she'll be scarred from the ordeal."

I let the words soak in for a second but don't dwell on the feeling of sadness or desperation, replying with similar grimness, "She relies on us more than she knows...Doris and I...she put up a front of stability and control but deep down, she's just as lost as we are...we all have to face our daemons..."

"Speaking of commitments, I have something else to tell you," Demiurge states with amusement, his mood shifting as I groan in frustration at his easy manner. He produces a parchment scroll from the air, something uncharacteristic of his presentations and as he clears his throat and unrolls the scroll, I wonder who had written it. He begins his presentation by saying evenly, "Aura and Mare haven't left the 6th floor, except for assigned missions from Lord Ainz, for as long as you've been gone. I went to visit them recently and they gave me this to give to you. I am, instead, going to read it to you."

Demiurge is enjoying the moment too much judging by his smile but before I can protest, he starts reading what they gave him. Initially, the scroll starts as a simple note that wished me well and hoped that I would visit them eventually. But as Demiurge reads on, he starts to talk about their feelings of betrayal and loss and I start to feel more and more guilty with each new accusation.

Aura had found out that I had disobeyed her will and slept with Roeray, something that she was furious about. Neither dark elf was consulted about Shalltear training my willpower so to them, I had disappeared for months without notice. She chastised my recklessness, something that she had strived to train out of me but something that I had allowed to return due to poor maintenance. But it was Demiurge rolling up the scroll and giving his assessment that hurt the most, his voice joking as he states to me with amusement, "These poor twins are feeling betrayed that you replaced them and we can even say that you've abandoned them for months...wouldn't you agree?"

All I can do is sulk and give him a grim nod but Demiurge doesn't seem to notice, his hands turning my body by the shoulders so that I'm sitting on the slab's edge. His other hand gestures away from me, summoning a gate to an unknown location. I look at him hopefully and he explains himself before I need to say anything.

"Then why are you sitting here? Tell them that you haven't abandoned them."

* * *

The smell is the first thing that hits me, the familiar scent of death and decay assaulting my nose and causing me to gag from its richness. I cover my mouth and nose as I glance around for the source, stunned into fear at the grotesqueness of my new surroundings.

I'm back at the 6th-floor arena sand but instead of the clean and calm atmosphere that I'm accustomed to, every surface is splattered with blood and viscera. The carcasses of dead creatures lay among the sandy ring, multiple creatures long dead and showing signs of decay. I crane my head up slightly as see the rafters coated with more corpses, the buzz of flies droning lightly in the background like a sickening tune of death to accompany the sights.

In the centre of the arena sands is Aura laying on the ground, her outfit spotted with as much blood as the surroundings. At first, I fear the worst and approach in a hurry but as I get closer to her still form, her ragged breathing and rapid eye movements tell me she's alive. Her hair, normally cleanly cut short, is wildly long and unkept with parts of it shorn off at random lengths. Her face and neck bore odd scars that spoke of combat wounds that she didn't treat properly and her skin looked just as unhealthy, her dark tan less lustrous and paler than usual.

I kneel next to her, disturbed that she doesn't recognize my presence at all or even recognize there's someone nearby. She looked fragile and vulnerable, something that I know wasn't true and couldn't bear to see. I reach out and take her left hand in my left, my scaled fingers rubbing off some of the dried blood on her skin but eliciting no response from her at all.

"Fenn!" I shout into the surroundings as I gather Aura lightly in my arms and move to a stand, the large wolf appearing from the air and rushing at us with his usual enthusiasm. The wolf could tell something is wrong and starts whining at me, his nose nuzzling Aura who doesn't seem to respond to his presence either. I leap into the air and twirl horizontally, Fenn moving into position beneath me so I can land mounted forward. I lightly tap my right heel against his fur, saying commandingly to the wolf, "Take us home."

The wolf moves from still to sprint in milliseconds, my body reflexively tensing to stay mounted while holding onto Aura. Fenn navigates the mess of corpses with ease and leaves through one of the open exit gates, the lit sand arena quickly replaced by an ominous tunnel of torches. I'm thankful for the smell of old stone and burnt wood over the smell of death and the flames flicker and dance as we pass them at speed. The exit ahead is bursting with the bright light of an artificial sun, my eyes half-closed to avoid being blinded. I inhale the clean air but don't get distracted by the new serenity around us, instead of focusing on keeping myself steady as the wolf forges a path through the forest.

Trees whiz by and seem to part before us, branches and vines shifting out of the way of our path so that we can travel unobstructed. Whether it's something I'm doing or something Fenn's doing, I'm uncertain, but I'm grateful for the assistance nonetheless. We make good time through the forest and even though the situation is grim, I still have enough wonder to appreciate the larger tree growing in the distance. The tree is massive and dominates the landscape, proximity making me appreciate how high and wide the tree is up close. As we move closer to the main door of the tree, an elaborate growth that looked like double doors, I spot the typical signs of Mare's botany expertise in the form of elaborate plant arrangements around the base. Suddenly, I see him among the flowers closest to the house, kneeling and invoking his magic on them before noticing us approaching.

I thank Fenn as I leap off his back, landing at a swift walk as Mare rises and looks at me with a mix of surprise, happiness, and concern. He looks exactly as I remember him but when he sees who I'm carrying, his face hardens and he quickly turns towards the house. A quick hand gesture opens the doors with the sound of grinding wood, his voice commanding as he says, "Follow me. I'll show you where you need to go."

"What's wrong with her, Mare? I've never seen her like this," I say as we rush inside, Mare guiding me past a simple wooden kitchen and dining area towards a spiral staircase of wood in the centre. His answer is quick and harsh, speaking of his disdain and reservations. "You were gone for months and few were told if you were even alive. She didn't take your disappearance well but I'll let her tell you the details when she's awake."

I didn't know what to say to his words so I say nothing and follow him rapidly up the stairs, the staircase winding higher than most building heights I've encountered. Mare reaches our destination first and opens another set of wooden doors, this time manually, and walks brusquely into a bedroom. He tells me as he enters to place Aura on the double bed nearby and I do so without hesitation, crossing the span and gently setting her on the bedsheets. As I turn to Mare, he pushes me to the left slightly and starts checking his sister's vitals through a mixture of magical and physical means. Tense moments of waiting and watching pass until he exhales lightly and states, "She's fine physically but she hasn't been keeping up her physical appearance much. She doesn't feel like she needs to."

"Mare, I-" I try to say but Mare cuts me off by telling me to leave, my head nodding as I turn around and walk towards the doors. Before I'm outside, Mare hisses to my back, "You abandoned us. Our forgiveness will be slow to gain."

"I know..." I say glumly as I walk out of the doors, the wooden doors slamming closed behind me and the noise echoing throughout the silent tree. I want to turn around and go back inside to try and explain myself but the message is clear. I feel sadness as I walk down the stairs, the otherworldly beauty of this place doing nothing to remove the strange emptiness I feel.

I reach the bottom floor and take a seat at the large wooden dining table, putting my face on my right arm and laying on the table in misery. Useless information starts to filter into my mind now that it was empty, the dimension of the room and the sounds of nearby wildlife not distracting enough for me to care. My misery is quickly interrupted by Fenn who arrives out of nowhere and sniffs the back of my head, poking the right side of my face with his snout and whining at me. I angle my head to the left and smile ruefully despite my misery, lifting myself off the table and turning bodily towards him so he can lick my face. While awkwardly petting his fur and trying to avoid the worst of his affection, I whisper to him, "In my obsession...to find myself...and destroy my past...I left behind the ones who helped me get here...what do I do, Fenn?...what _can_ I do..."

Fenn stops licking me and moves behind me, his teeth grabbing the back of my shorts and lifting me off the ground. I'm surprised that the material doesn't tear from the stress but try to remain still as he slowly trots back the way we came. I grunt lightly in discomfort when my head bumps into the stairwell's wooden core, tucking myself into a ball in response to avoid colliding with more things. Fenn awkwardly carries me upwards step by step, his form quickly ascending the stairs and taking us back to the wooden doors to the dark elves' chamber.

He unceremoniously opens his mouth and lets me fall to the ground, the fall sudden and unexpected. I fall onto my left side before I can uncurl properly, my body awkwardly doing so and rolling onto my front. I push off from the ground, rising to my feet as Fenn pushes me from behind with the top of his head. He growls timidly at me as he pushes me towards the doors and I've had enough exposure to wolves that I understand what he's trying to do. I turn around and hug his head lightly, smiling and thanking him for his advice as he whines at me and walks off at a slow pace. With a nervous nod, I turn back around and walk towards the doors, the unspoken advice from Fenn going through my head as I gently push the right door open.

_There's only one way to fix this...face the problem head-on..._


	28. HEART

**CHAPTER VII: HEART**

* * *

Mare is sitting in the furthest right corner of the room, his body curled into a ball in the dimmed light. With my enhanced eyes, I see his ears twitch and watch him raise his head slightly to see who it is. His anger from moments ago is completely gone, replaced with a sadness that spoke of self-loathing and heartache. I swiftly but quietly move across the room, kneeling in front of him and hugging him as he loses what little self-control he has.

"I'm sorry...please don't go...please don't leave me again..." he whispers sadly between muffled sobs but I shush him and start brushing his hair with my right hand, trying my best not to let his sadness affect me too greatly. His body is shaking uncontrollably, emphasizing his emotions in a way that tears and cries couldn't. The moment triggers a sense of nostalgia and from the feeling comes an idea.

My hands lightly push him enough away so I can show him my left arm. I concentrate on the back of my left hand and keep my breathing even, a sense of relief filling me as magic flows roughly from my chest towards my hand. Control of magic feels harder to perform but I manage to grow flowers on my hand, my right hand brushing Mare's head as I tell him to open his eyes. He wipes his face and eyes of tears and opens his eyes quickly enough to witness the slow blooming of a white flower on my hand, my face smiling as I whisper, "A white Chrysanthemum...it means truth and loyal love...Shalltear told me it's your favourite flower..."

I wince as I pluck the flower by the stem with my right hand, the pain of tearing it from my scales more intense than I thought possible for something so small. Though I'm unsure if he'll take the flower or not, I offer it to him with as much courtesy as I can. I'm pleasantly surprised that he snatches the flower with both hands, holding it close to his chest as it glows with a strange hue of white brilliance. Only then do I appreciate how beautiful the flower is and become silently amazed that I produced such a thing. His voice holds disbelief as he whispers, "A white Chrysanthemum...I've never been able to find one in this land or grow one myself...I...I don't know what to say-"

Two more flowers grow on the back of my left hand, the purple Anemone and the white Daisy growing beside each other for him to see. Mare moves the flower into his left hand as he reaches forward with his other hand to touch the two flowers, my face smiling as I whisper, "Anticipation...loyal love...innocence...purity...truth...I always remember the lessons you and Aura taught me...and though I can't express how grateful I am...I still try-"

It's too much for Mare to hear as he breaks down into tears again, his face cringing as I hold him in another embrace. I place his head over my shoulder but this time, he doesn't try to keep himself quiet and cries loudly into the surroundings. Despite my attempts to calm him down, I start to feel his misery myself and have a hard time keeping myself from tears. He cries out loudly between sobs, "I didn't...I didn't trust you!... I thought you wouldn't come back!... I thought you abandoned me!...and Aura!...and everyone in Nazarick!...I'm...I'm sorry!-"

"I should be the sorry one, Mare...if it wasn't for all the guidance I receive...I would be making all kinds of horrible choices..." I whisper in reply, feeling a mixture of guilt and sadness welling up inside me as I hold him closer. I'm careful not to squeeze him too hard because I don't know how durable he is but he shows no such restraint to me, squeezing my back too tightly and causing minor discomfort.

A hand thumps against the back of my head, my head turning to the source of the hit automatically to assess the potential threat. I'm stunned to see Aura awake and near us without being detected, her appearance still unkept and her eyes half-closed but her ability to take control of a situation as intact as ever. She pushes Mare on the left side of his face, his crying ceasing for a moment as she groans at both of us in an exhausted voice, "You two make so much noise...if you're gonna get emotional, at least take it outside?"

She yawns and turns away, walking back the way she came and crawling into bed as if nothing happened. In the brief moment of seeing her awake and hearing her words, I can tell that something is still wrong with her. It's a primal feeling instead of an intellectual one but I act regardless of the type of feeling. I gently let go of Mare who lets go of me in reply, my body rising to my feet to follow the path Aura just took. Each step fills me with unease as if I'm expecting her to lash out at any moment but I'm able to rein in the feeling and focus on surface-level emotions only.

Slowly and quietly, I move to the other side of the mattress and lay on my side, still unsure what my plan of action is but willing myself to let my instincts guide me over logic. I feel, rather than see, Aura tense her muscles when I displace the mattress, my arms reaching forward slowly in an attempt to reach her. Only when I see her relax slightly when I move my arms around her do I realize how I'm able to understand her intentions without visible evidence. _I was her pet...a pet that can read their master's mood..._

The thought is comforting and helps me hone in on what Aura needs. I slowly slide towards her, pulling her gently towards me until her outfit presses against my front. I can smell the blood, both new and old, on her clothes and skin, the sickly scent mixed with the smell of old sweat and grime. I'm not expecting her to respond but she quickly shatters my expectations, saying in a low voice, "Back in Yggdrassil...we had a creator like the other guardians...Lady Bukubukuchagama..."

She slowly turns herself around and moves her arms around my back, my arms repositioning below her arms as I remain silent and listen. Aura pauses to collect herself for a second before whispering, "Though I didn't understand at the time...she made Mare and me fulfil her own needs...I...I was her little dress-up doll...who wore the outfits she wanted me to wear because she wanted it..."

Arms move around my stomach as Mare joins the moment silently and presses himself against my back, my body tensing from the situation suddenly becoming intimate. I force myself to relax and listen to Aura exhale again in minor disgust from the situation but instead of redirecting the subject, she continues her previous thought. "I was her doll...and we sat on her lap like dolls when others visited the Gigantic Tree...she made Mare subservient to me and her...and I abused that...because I didn't know any better...how would I know better when I was just a doll?..."

Such concepts made me very uncomfortable but I remain silent even as Mare hugs me tighter, my body suppressing a light grunt of discomfort from the increased pressure. I have to wiggle myself slightly to loosen his grip because my arms are preoccupied, his arms taking a painfully long time to loosen but doing so eventually. Aura continues her tale as if nothing else mattered, whispering reluctantly, "Like all the other supreme ones...she vanished like she never existed...Lord Momongo was all that was left after they all...abandoned us...yet...yet he made a _statue_ for each member who left... Mare and I saw her statue...and I didn't know how much I needed her will and guidance until she was gone...the only words I remember her saying most to us-"

"-is that nothing is forever," Aura and Mare whisper simultaneously, the silence maturing in the air as everyone present remains silent and reflects. Reflexively, I hold Aura closer as she does the same to me, her voice becoming more fervent and desperate as she whispers, "Nothing is forever...my creator, what she built, where she lived...it all ended in time just like she said...why did she have to be right!?...why did everything have to end!?..."

I feel her release her arms and shimmy upwards, her mismatching eyes meeting mine and disturbing me with their crazed intensity. Her frenzy is framed by unkempt hair and strange scars, her face smiling but with a joy inspired by madness instead of happiness. Yet her voice remains quiet and the pacing of her words is stable as she whispers, "But...she _wasn't _right...we were brought here to this New World and Lord Ainz granted us freedoms that we never had before! We explored and learned as much as we could, discovering who we wanted to be and becoming those beings!...we forgot about the past as we sought our futures!...but then...then her words came true again...because Shalltear died..."

I try not to let the words affect me too deeply but I can't stop the feelings of sadness. Aura doesn't respond to my mood shift at all and continues, her mood shifting from frenzied to saddened as she whispers slowly, "She had...her brain corrupted by a powerful object...an item from our world...Lord Ainz's magic couldn't save her so he...he had to kill her to save her...we wanted to volunteer...to do what needed to be done to save her...but he didn't want any of us to fight her...because...because..."

"He didn't want his servants...his children...killing each other..." Mare whispers sadly, the telltale sounds of his muffled cries making my eyes close in mutual sadness. Aura isn't spared from the moment of sadness either, my left hand angling her head over my shoulder as she breaks down into tears of her own. I open my eyes as both of them hug me tightly, the two dark elves unleashing a deep hurt that they kept contained for far too long. I didn't feel like I was the right person to tell but quickly pushed the thought aside because it didn't matter. _They need me now and that's what matters._

Long moments pass and I do my best to be comforting to both of them but I'm acting on instincts that didn't feel correct any more. All of these events were before my time in Nazarick but before I can ponder further, Aura whispers between her sobs, "Shalltear...we don't always get along...we call each other names...but she didn't deserve to die!...she didn't deserve to be forced to fight the one she swore to protect!...we didn't even know if she was gonna be revived and even then...she wasn't the same person after!...what kind of monster would do that to her!?..."

The irony of her statement isn't lost on me given our collective nature in Nazarick but I don't let her know my thoughts because it would be inappropriate. Instead, I keep silently listening to them and waiting until Aura speaks, not waiting long before she whispers sadly, "You keep dying...over and over again...I don't know what to feel any more when you die...what should I feel when you die?..."

The weight of expectation lands squarely on my shoulders, more so when she looks into my eyes while lightly sniffling. I smile ruefully and slide my left arm upwards, placing my left hand on top of her head and rubbing her unkempt hair lightly as I explain, "Nothing is forever...so we have to treasure the time we have...I shouldn't be making you two so sad and...I can't promise I'll survive...but I'll make sure to come back...that's the least I can do..."

She places her right hand gently on my face, rubbing the scales of my cheek with her thumb as she closes her eyes. I mirror her actions and shift my left arm downwards to hold her lower back as my right thumb rubs her cheek of tears, Mare moving upwards behind me and rubbing his face against my hair. At first, I'm wondering what he's doing but after feeling the dampness in my hair, I figure that he creatively wiped his tears using my hair like a rag.

"I'm tired..." Aura whispers as her arms start to lose their grip and her head lays down on the mattress. I feel the same emotional drain and start to doze off as well, closing my eyes and letting my mind drift slightly. Before I doze off too much, I awkwardly try to lay on my back but Mare makes this task difficult and awkward when he tries to remain behind me. I'm forced to let go of Aura and dislodge him with a light push of my left arm and even then, he resists my attempts with sad whimpers. He even starts crying as he backs off from us but before he can try to escape, I grab him around the waist and bring him back into an embrace.

Though the moment is embarrassing given their closeness, I endure the sensation and bring them into an equal embrace with one arm on each of them. Mare finally understands my intentions and hugs me too tightly around the chest, my face displaying my discomfort as he applies too much pressure. I tap my hand on his back lightly and feel his grip slacken, thankful for the relief but realizing that they're both fast asleep. Aura starts breathing loudly in her stupor and Mare makes no noise as all. It's the first time I'd seen them asleep together so I didn't know what to expect but even asleep, they represent their habits and personalities well. I let sleep pull me away as well and for a brief moment, I feel a sense of ease.

I won't let them feel like this again if I can help it.

* * *

I snap my eyes open as my senses warn me of danger, my eyes glancing around rapidly to find the source of the warning. I angle my head around the room when I don't immediately see the threat in my field of vision, the room dark from the artificial daytime becoming night. I find the source standing nearby making no attempts to hide and even in the darkness of the room, there's no mistaking the pale white skin, long pink hair, or elegant black gown.

My unease doesn't subside even after recognizing Shalltear because she isn't smiling or projecting an air of superiority like she always does. It's as if all of her emotions are hidden beyond my means to see, her motive for being here as unreadable as her expression. For a few seconds, we stare at each other in the darkness until I take the initiative and lightly move the two dark elves off me, both of them deep in slumber and ignorant of being moved. Even as I gently move past Aura and move to the edge of the bedding, Shalltear remains silent and simply watches my progress. The silence feels wrong somehow and makes me uncomfortable, my voice breaking the silence with a whisper. "Why are you here? Is there something you need?"

The words sound too harsh and I quietly whisper an apology, Shalltear not responding to either comment and continuing her silent judgement of me. I don't back down despite my unease of her, keeping eye contact until she gently moves towards me and takes a slow seat on the bed's edge. As I turn towards her, she turns around so she can place one hand on each of the dark elves' head, both of them groaning lightly from her touch. She tries to smile and manages a slight smile for a few seconds but loses it in an instant.

"So they told you," she whispers evenly, my head nodding grimly as I start to understand what she's here for. She turns back silently and places her hands in her lap, locking them together and sitting in silence. Seeing Shalltear like this, so timid and calm, is like seeing an entirely new person, the brash and cruel exterior she always has replaced with an unreadable and mysterious persona. Nevertheless, I try to look at her as she taught me to but shockingly, she's the one that turns away from eye contact. I start to wonder if I'm still dreaming or if this is real but then, she decides to tell me what she wants.

"Every guardian has a similar story...we were created for selfish goals and our creators abandoned us when our use was spent...all but one creator...only Lord Ainz stayed to the end..." she whispers evenly but I can tell she's trying to force herself to stay in control of her emotions. Although I'd heard small amounts of her story from Cocytus, hearing these details in person is unnerving and disarming. I've never seen her show signs of weakness and seeing it here made me question how much I knew about her. I'm not sure if she knows that Lord Ainz understands what the guardians believe so I tell her as much, her expression remaining neutral but her head turning slightly towards me as she listens.

Then the realization hits me and it fills me with a dreadful sense of knowing. Though I try to emulate Shalltear in remaining calm, I can sense that she feels the same inevitable truth coming to the surface of my mind. I don't want to keep the words to myself and gain a desperate need to share my thoughts, whispering rapidly in a jumble of words, "Now I understand why Albedo wanted to remove evidence of supreme beings from this world. I understand why Irlo was attacked and I understand why the guardians tolerate me and accept me despite our vast differences...I'm...I'm like all of you...a victim from birth..."

Only silence answers my claims.


	29. REFLECTION

**CHAPTER VIII: REFLECTION**

* * *

I had always known Shalltear to be cruel and unusual, her personality brilliant and psychotic at the same time. She had no qualms with hurting me when I stepped out of line, even goading me to step out of line so she could test my loyalty and resolve. It was never certain if she wanted me to fail but despite the harshness and the injury she provided, she moulded me into what I needed to be like all the other guardians. I was grateful for this even though I still had misgivings about her intentions.

When she guided me downstairs to talk, she was timider and understanding rather than what I've known her for. For a moment, I didn't believe this was the same being talking to me in private. Like Aura, I had been conditioned to believe that this was some trap to test my loyalty but it quickly became clear that her change in personality was genuine. She felt it was necessary to be genuine and decided to tell me of her origin as well because it seemed fair that we understand each other equally. I admitted that I'd rather not know and tried to refuse her request but she told me anyway, forcing me to listen to her story about her creator, Lord Peroroncino.

Unlike the other great ones who had noble qualities among them, Lord Peroroncino was obsessed with obscene perversions and sexual interactions that he openly admitted. Shalltear inherited much of his flaws upon creation but over time, she had grown to become independent and shed most of the greater flaws she once had. Strangely, her creator only made her personality because she owed her appearance to another being, the true architect of the Great Tomb of Nazarick, Lord Maruyama. Lord Peroroncino had corrupted this gift from another into something that suited his desires and now that Shalltear was aware of this, she despised her creator for his interference. _She has two creators...she could've been exceptional..._

I had been the first to remove an Avatara from its shrine but I wasn't the last. She thanked me for giving her the idea to ask Lord Ainz about destroying her creators Avatara, gaining great satisfaction from removing the being she hated from that hall of honour. Like me, however, she could never truly undo the stain that her creator left after his departure but learned from my mistake of obsession. There was no small amount of shame from her accusation about being obsessed with destroying my past because she was right but like always, Shalltear insisted that I learn from the experience and not repeat the sequence of revenge.

Hate was what she felt when I first arrived because I was the ideal of what noble supreme beings could make. Unknowingly, I reminded everyone in Nazarick of their great flaws, something that they still detested me for. This hatred was slowly removed as they learned more of me and about my past which was no less gruesome than any of the guardians. I tried to argue her point and tell her that I wasn't so much of a victim as they portray but the more we talked, the more certain she was. She eventually left without further comment, returning to her domain and leaving me with a sense of misfortune.

_At least their creators didn't try to kill them..._

* * *

I left a parchment note with Aura and Mare telling them where I would be because although I wanted to make amends with them, I have so many goals to deal with that I have to begin immediately. I'm still hoping they understand as I walk through a gate into the domain of Cocytus, the guardian training in the frozen training yard with his silver halberd. He hasn't noticed my presence yet so I don't interfere with his exercise, taking the traditional sitting position slowly to avoid slipping on the frozen ground. My right-hand moves in front of me, summoning a sword that I obtained from one of my creators and holding it horizontally in both hands palm upwards. My thumbs maintain a light hold on the blade's as I say in a sombre voice, "When two heavens...are joined as one...true harmony is obtained..."

The blade vibrates lightly as it responds to the code phrases, the elaborate black sheath shedding its outer coating like flaking skin. A simpler wooden sheath breaks from its binding shell, the sounds of the training nearby slowing then cease completely as Cocytus notices my presence and the magical buildup. I continue the ritual, chanting slowly, "The emperor and the empress...the two that rule...the two unique edges..."

"Impossible..." Cocytus intone from across the yard, the silence only disturbed by his heavy footfalls and breathing. The blade's magic starts to become unstable and I focus it into my body to flow into the ground. A green light flashes through the new sheath and my right hand unsheathe the sword with a gentle pull on the hilt, revealing a blade glowing with a green light. Sparking yellow bolts of energy replace the green but fade into idleness, leaving a sword of ancient, simply beauty set in a blocky hilt of light brown wood.

The embellishing skin of the sword is shed completely, revealing the artefact underneath. Cocytus slowly approaches me as I bow my head and close my eyes, my hands holding the medium-sized blade in front of me in an offering gesture. In a sombre voice, I say to him, "The Devil Slaying Empress Blade...the wakizashi to the katana...the second blade that the Warrior Takemikazuchi could never complete...I offer it to you..."

"There is no second blade...the God Slaying Emperor Blade is a singular sword..." Cocytus grates as I feel him touch the blade, my thumbs lifting so that the blade can leave my hands. The feeling of magical disconnection is oddly satisfying as it meant that the blade is no longer bound to me. I open my eyes and look up, empathizing with his disbelief and outrage but trying to soothe him as best I can with calm words. "This sword does not exist in the land of Yggdrasil. It was created slowly for over a century in the New World by Isnadra...my creator...she accumulated the life force of hundreds of smiths, sacrificing them to the blade until it matched the recorded power of its companion sword...your sword..."

I lower my head again, gathering my thoughts and listening to Cocytus' movements with my senses. His right-hand holds the blade hilt as the other hand tests the edge and shape. I say clearly to him without looking at him, "The sword was flawed because of how it was created. Isnadra tried to enhance the blade desperately but she didn't have the knowledge nor the skills to do so...but...I do...so I finished what she couldn't."

There's a grating chuckle of amusement before Cocytus says with respect, "You have grown much since we last met, young one. Your bearing is one who has seen the worst and survived it...yet you carry noble purpose and integrity within you as well. I must ask, however, if you still accept the Bushido code into yourself."

"I've seen what dishonour is...and what can become of me if I forget...I...I don't want that for myself...or anyone else..." I say with slowly reducing conviction, my mood darkening as I remember some of what I've seen in my nightmares. As I look up again with a neutral expression, Cocytus is turning around and walking away with both blades in hand. I hadn't sensed him drawing his other weapon and as I slowly rise to my feet, an unexpected tension builds between us when he turns around and wields his swords. He takes a combat stance that is all too familiar and I know, with a growing feeling of dread, what he intends to do.

"No...no, I...I won't fight you...I...I can't..." I say to him across the growing gap but he exhales cold mist, his stance becoming formed and his weapons rising in a challenge. He grates at me with strong discipline and certainty, "The student must always surpass the master. I will see your training completed, here and now. Draw your weapons."

His words are a command, not a request. I struggle to obey because everything about the situation screamed at me not to proceed. I want to away from him and avoid this confrontation at all costs but my body won't move. I entertain the thoughts of forsaking my education and being labelled a failure in the Two Heavens as One style of sword-fighting just to avoid this battle. I even force myself to take a step back in reply to my thoughts, struggling with the urges of fight or flee. _He taught me how to be more than a monster. I can't do this. I can't-_

Horror replaces the dread when he charges forward without warning, his speed incredible for a being his size. Instincts take over and I'm grateful that they do because, without them, his first swing with his longest sword would have taken my head clean off. Instead, the blade passes over my head as I perform a forward roll but my grip on the frozen ground is poor and my landing becomes unbalanced. A blade lightly cuts into my back as I roll by, my body jolting slightly from both the physical pain and the strange energy that passes through me.

The smell of my blood is shockingly strong and I'm forced to stay crouched to fight off the waves of pain-induced rage trying to overwhelm me. I'm expecting Cocytus to capitalize on my sudden vulnerability by striking but instead, I look up with unfocused senses and watch him slowly walk towards me. I can barely see or hear as he grates at me, "The draconic rage is within you still, driving you to seek the destruction of your foe. It removes all that you were taught for the simplicity of a simple path of war. You try to resist the rage and use whatever you can to run and hide from yourself but no matter how far you run or how great you hide, you cannot escape what you are...flawed...undisciplined...monstrous-"

"I...am not...**A MONSTER!**" I shout in growing fury, my ability to contain my anger slowly eroding with each passing moment. I roar in pain and anger as the scales across my body start to sting, blood flowing from my left arm as spikes break through the scales with a sickening crack of displaced bone. The brown scales start to consume the flesh on my right side, creeping slowly across my body and covering the last visible indication of civility I have left. My vision becomes crimson and my heart hammers loudly in my chest, my mind slowly losing reason as Cocytus looms over me with his weapons still drawn. I expect him to strike but cold mist escapes his mouth again, his words sounding more and more distant with each moment that passes. "A warrior of the code does not flee from an opponent. They do not hide from uncomfortable battles. You must face that which you are if you are to become whole. Only then will your training be completed."

At that moment, it doesn't matter what I believe or what I want. My defences against the rage collapse, all rational doubts and fears washing away with a red tide of hate. A sense of bloody simplicity replaces my reasoning and all I can see is an enemy within striking distance. I growl lowly in anticipation as both of my arms form into weapons, both long blades stabbing upwards to strike the target from underneath before they can defend themselves. They easily deflect the rapid blows with their swords but they're forced to back away when I spring upwards and attack with earnest, barraging them with rapid slashes and thrusts.

My frenzy is barely held back by the opponent, a few blows passing through their guard to strike at their armoured body. Whatever counter blows they deliver are either dodged or ignored, my defence a secondary concern compared to defeating the enemy. Scales and chitin are sundered in the violent exchange, vibrant blood of both dark green and dull brown flowing from rents in armoured skin. The pain of injury drives me to further rage and gives me an irresistible urge to destroy the target mercilessly but as I press the attack, they back off and sheath one of their blades on their back.

Their hand forms rings of light that I don't comprehend so I instinctively brace myself and shift my bodies composition. The blades retract so my scales can become hardened steel, a barrage of sharp ice shooting out of the target's hand. The ice shatters against my body with impunity but when I try to advance on them, my progress halted from the sheer weight of projectiles. A solid wall of ice shards pins me in place to my growing irritation, each step forward followed by a grudging step back.

The opponent is moving at speed while throwing this wall at me, their long blade rising above their head to deliver a downward strike once they're in range. The strike comes down at speed but I'm able to step aside just enough to make the strike miss, the metal sparking as the blade scrapes my skin. I ignore the glancing blow and fill my third lung, focusing the magic within me and releasing a roared exhale of unstable lightning. The blast hits them in the centre of the chest, frozen chitin blackening under the unexpected attack. The unchained magic throws them back onto the frozen ground with a violent crash and I don't relent, a sense of great amusement rising with me as they suffer on the ground, unable to defend themselves.

My attack ends moments later due to the capacity of my third lung and to their credit, the target rises quickly and advance towards me with weapons ready. My arms form into blades as I eagerly launch myself at them, meeting their attack head-on with reckless abandon. The burnt chitin and leaking blood I see across their frame are mostly superficial damage because they don't slow down and their blows still have an impact. We rejoin the dance of blades, avoiding the strikes we can dodge and ignoring the strikes we cannot, all the while landing minor blows that cause no substantial damage.

My foot slips slightly from the slick blood coating the ice, nearly costing me the battle when the opponent tries to run me through the heart with their longest sword. Words are spoken to me after I avoid the attack but I ignore them, using the opportunity to attack their vulnerable torso as they distract themselves. I realize my mistake too late, my quick attack expertly blocked and reversed. When they push their shortest sword into my right shoulder, however, it doesn't penetrate anything vital and slowly halts inside my flesh as it changes composition.

I return their attack by thrusting my left arm into their torso but as the strike flashes outwards, two additional weapons block the attack. I'm forced to duck rapidly to avoid a decapitation strike while simultaneously ripping their blade out of my shoulder, leaving a trail of blood in my wake. The opponent doesn't relent and surges forward to deliver further blows but they do exactly what I want them to do and as they try to strike me down, I lunge forward into their attack and thrust with both arms at their torso. They try to defend again but my attack is a feint and I redirect my thrusts to these new arms, impaling them both and forcing them to drop their weapons. I smile as I viscously rip my limbs upwards and outwards, the edges becoming serrated and spraying dark blood in a wide arc.

Both of the lower limbs become limp but they counter-attack quickly, their main weapons striking down at me. It's the opening I needed, their blades thrusting into the flesh of my back as my arms stab forward into their torso. The first arm blade impacts a wall of defensive magic but the second blade slices into their armoured carapace, tearing into the flesh beneath in a greater spray of dark blood. They try to drive their blades deeper into my body and for an imperceptible amount of time, we're locked together in an embrace of agony. Both of us are trying to summon the strength to deliver a final push that ends the conflict and I will my weakened limbs to push onwards into the foe.

"Finish...it..." I hear the opponent grate softly as they struggle, the words painted with their pain and aggression. I try to do as they instruct, forcing my arm forward to deliver as much internal damage as I can but my blood loss and pain become harder to ignore. Greater pain slowly overwrites the feeling of anger, allowing an internal voice to break through the madness. It grows louder and louder until it's the only thing I can hear and though part of me tries to reignite the rage, there's nothing for the rage to hold onto. Rational thought returns and the words finally have meaning, a mantra that I remember hearing over and over as I learned of the Bushido code.

_Death before dishonour..._

Recognition returns and the full horror of what I'd just done crashes down on me all at once. In a panicked motion, I rapidly pull my left arm from Cocytus' chest, his chest wound freezing over to prevent further blood loss. The scales coating the right side of my body retract now that their source of magic is gone and with a gasp of pain, his shortest sword pushes past the flesh and bone of my back into my lung before he can stop himself. He reverses the direction of both blades swiftly, pulling them free as I drop to my knees in front of him. I'm able to take a look around even as blood leaks freely from the many wounds, the once clean and bright landscape a ruined mess of blood and battle. I move clumsily to a sitting position, lowing my head and slipping slightly on the ground. My hands move to my knees in preparation for the final blow, my body trying to fall into unconsciousness even as I will myself to remain awake. _I have...dishonoured...myself...there is only...one way to restore it..._

The final blow never comes, cold embracing me to close the wounds across my body and slow the bloodloss but not the pain. More cold touches behind my knees as another feeling of cold touches my back, my body lifted off the ground slowly until I find myself staring up at the one I tried to kill. His strength is formidable despite the many new cuts and scars he bears and as Cocytus starts to walk forward, I close my eyes and exhale in both exhaustion and shame. He explains in pained gasps as I feel tears falling down my face, "Now you have...faced yourself...faced your fears...as we...all must...your training...may continue..."

There's nothing more to say as his slow stride carries me through a gate away from my mistake.


	30. MONSTER

**CHAPTER IX: MONSTER**

* * *

Demiurge is irritated and amused to see me again, Cocytus strolling forward and laying me gently face down on a medical slab that I'm too familiar with. As he strides away to lay upon a slab reserved for him, Demiurge exhales a tired sigh that's more theatrical than genuine, saying to both of us in minor annoyance, "You Bushido warriors and your sense of honour. Do you know how frustrating it is when you make more work for me? I wanted to use my mana today for something productive but here you two are-"

"Beric has a fragment of the Yamata no Orochi spirit. I must train him to master it," Cocytus interrupts forcefully as he lays down with a loud grunt, his armoured shell clacking against the slab as the room grows unnaturally silent. Even in my wounded state, I can sense the tension building in the room and Demiurge asks him if he's certain of his claim. Cocytus answers firmly from where he lays, "There can be no doubt. When he was lost to the dragon's rage, he showed me his potential for lightning and his mastery of the blade. I'm unsure how deep this strength runs but we must test it-"

"This changes nothing," Demiurge answers sternly, all humour lost as he gently touches my wounds. I groan in discomfort as the lacerations thaw and close painfully, his use of magic blunt and unsubtle as he whispers to me, "The 8-headed and 8-tailed dragon, Yamata-no-Orochi, is something of a legend among warriors of the code. The legend tells of a tyrant dragon demanding sacrifices of mortals who was eventually tricked and slain by a warrior fallen from the heavens, Susa-no-O...can you guess who that warrior is represented by in Nazarick?"

"He has the potential to wield the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi and will grant Nazarick great advantage if he can master his power," Cocytus interrupts with relish but my focus is drawn to the ungentle tending of my wounds. Demiurge retorts harshly to Cocytus, his bitter words something I'm not expecting. "We both know that he can't master this power without a full commitment to the dragon and that means losing his elf heritage, perhaps even his sense of self. Power is not worth that kind of sacrifice."

"I will...make the sacrifice if I must," I whisper but Demiurge is quick to silence me, his hands sending a minor jolt of energy through my muscles to make them twitch painfully. He rebuttals harshly, his wrath in full flow for reasons I don't understand. "I am against this. It's one thing to dedicate yourself to Nazarick body and soul of your own will but to lose yourself and become just a weapon of Lord Ainz is something I won't allow. Lord Ainz agrees with me on this so that's where the matter ends. Cocytus will train you as you are now and we will have _none _of this talk again."

It isn't like Demiurge to order another guardian so bluntly and for Cocytus to grumble to himself when given an order. Yet before I can ponder on their strange behaviour, the pain subsides on my back and Demiurge flips me over roughly, his hands glowing crimson with magic as he heals the wounds on the front of my body. Though some of his earlier anger has cooled and his use of magic becomes less painful, there is no humour or amusement on his face and his expression is graver than usual. He replies to my concerned gaze with, "I will not allow any servant of Nazarick to become a pawn again no matter what benefit it would bring. I will uphold Lord Ainz's decree that we serve willingly or not at all. And as a servant, you will do the same."

"You feel responsible..." I whisper to him, Demiurge glaring at me harshly but softening with an agitated sigh. He asks me who told me this and I tell him the answer he wants. Demiurge replies with a rueful smile and replies while tending my wounds, "I was one of the first to set us on this path of world domination. I influenced Albedo to give the order. Now, we're all locked in a path that none of us truly believe in any more. We conquered the world because Lord Ainz wished it at the time but even he admitted that it wasn't his intention. We followed blindly before but we learned from our collective mistake."

"I had thought that, given so many massacres in this land, you would be satisfied, Demiurge," Cocytus grates from where he lays, his voice still tinted with pain from his wounds. Demiurge keeps smiling as he completes my healing and turns away, talking loudly as he moves towards Cocytus. "Mass death was never my design nor what I enjoy. I am a strategist, not a warrior. Creating and executing elaborate plans are what I live for-"

"You'll train me again, won't you?" I ask Demiurge suddenly, his head nodding towards Cocytus as he begins to close the wounds on his chest. He chuckles lightly but in an ominous way, his hands glowing crimson as he gently sweeps them over Cocytus' shell. He tells me without turning, "Eventually, yes. You've been with us for almost a year and you still have much to learn before you're ready to fight any wars under Lord Ainz's banner. We have much to teach you still."

"Lord Ainz will teach you lessons only he can teach and we must make sure you are ready," Cocytus interrupts with a tone of confidence, his air of authority and power recovering with the mending of his body. Demiurge keeps working but becomes tense, his hand gestures becoming less showy and more utility as Cocytus continues. "The guardians of Nazarick are envious of you, young one. To be allowed to learn the techniques of Lord Ainz himself is something we can never have. Guardians lack the potential for power that you possess and though we are no less valued for it, we must accept that we are merely creations, not supreme ones."

My stomach churns at the weight of his words, the sheer feeling of unfairness making me feel ill. Demiurge picks up on my mood shift, finishing his work quickly so he could turn around and remove his glasses. There's a mixture of sadness, irritation, and something else I can't identify when he turns his gaze on me with those glowing cyan gemstones. His tone matches his eyes when he says to me gently, "This is why I told you to revel in the power you possess. Every guardian is giving a part of themselves to you because we can never have what you have. I had thought that you'd learn this lesson yourself over time but now, I realize how foolish a hope that was. Do you understand why I'm so concerned about your current path of throwing yourself into every meat grinder without care?"

"Yes..." I'm able to croak as I break eye contact, my mind whirling from what I'm being told. The feeling of unease slowly becomes guilt and I being to understand why he was looking at me the way he was. As I feel light tears flow down my face, I find myself unable to stop thinking about what I've done and how it affected those around me. _Disappointment...it's disappointment...caused by me..._

Demiurge takes on a more soothing tone when he says to me, "You deserve the truth because you've earned that much but we didn't want to make your situation unbearable. As a child, you were lied to and believed you were human. As a trainee, you suffered all manners of wounds both physical and mental. As a supreme one, the ones who created you tried to kill you and everyone you cared about. And now, you're tasked with waging wars you don't want to fight. The last thing you needed to know was this-"

"I never wanted this..." I whisper as my gaze is drawn to my left arm raised in front of me, the dull scales of a dragon making me sick to my stomach. I open and close the fingers in sequence, starting with my pinky and ending with my thumb until I repeat the pattern a few times. The hand clenches into a fist, bitterness rising inside me and colouring my words. "I've lost everything in Nazarick...identity, purpose, motivations...all of it was destroyed and rebuilt here...all I ever wanted was a simple life but everything around me drives me to do greater things...even in Irlo...I don't want to be great...I don't _need_ to be great-"

"I can change that for you if you want," Demiurge states as he walks towards me, my head turning towards him as his right-hand starts to focus magic into it. A flame of crimson appears in his hand as he stops in front of me and with a slow gesture, he moves the hand low enough for me to see the flame. With a sad smile, he says reluctantly, "I can take away your strength if you let me. You can be whoever you want to be. Your memories of your time here will be wiped away. Nazarick will restore the town of Irlo to the way it was before we arrived. Lord Ainz will never set foot in that place and none of the events leading up to this moment will have ever occurred-"

"No," I answer firmly, Demiurge and Cocytus becoming confused by my quick answer. Demiurge stands still, unsure of how to proceed as I say to him forcefully in rising anger, "A warrior of the code...does not run from the harsh truths...if I take this offer, I would be violating my sense of honour...I...have to bear the unbearable because...it's right to do so...it feels...wrong...it feels _wrong_ to turn my back on everyone that helped me get to this point for my gain!"

Demiurge smiles widely in reply, showing his teeth and closing his hand to extinguish the flame. He pulls me into a sitting position and pats me on both shoulders, saying with amusement as he stops, "That's why we know you'll never betray us willingly. No matter what we do to you and how many ways out we offer you, you always return to the timid individual who tries to do the right thing. Of all the things we can break, your sense of self is the one constant that refuses to be broken."

"Well...that may be true...but I can't stay myself if I'm broken body or mind," I reply jokingly as we share a light laugh in appreciation of the grim humour. Demiurge suddenly steps to his right, Cocytus appearing in front of me and lifting me off the slab into a strong embrace. I try to return the embrace as best I can but unlike other times, his embrace offers me no comfort. He puts his right hand gently on top of my head, tears rolling down my face from the rising feelings of guilt. As he starts to lightly brush my head, he grates to me softly, "We all have to face our daemons, young one...our greatest struggle, as warriors, will always be with ourselves...you've taken the first steps to master yourself...now we can help you."

"You aren't the only one with a monster living inside you," Demiurge says from my left, my head turning as he makes an animalistic sound from his throat. Cocytus moves his hand so I can watch Demiurge's body swell unnaturally, his skin changing from a pale shade to dark green. My guilt is quickly replaced with fear at the unnatural sight, the creature that was once Demiurge growing taller and breathing in feral rasps before coughing lightly into one of their clawed hands.

The transformation is completed in seconds, a grand pair of leathery wings sprouting from their back as they gaze at me with slitted crimson eyes. Their face reminds me of a frog but when they smile at me, their teeth are sharp and intimidating. Demiurge's clothes remain surprisingly unblemished as they say to me in an even tone, "Trust me when I say you aren't alone in fearing loss of control. Many of us have the same dilemma you do but we've learned to live with it."

"Did you already...know?" I whisper lightly, Demiurge sighing lightly and half turning away from me. I wait silently as he seems to struggle with an answer but he eventually smiles and turns back, saying with remorse, "Yes...when Lord Ainz had you brought to me for the first time, I did a full spectrum scan and catalogued your magical potential and abnormalities. I detected this flaw early but did nothing about it...we had to know for sure...so I observed you struggle silently with your animalistic tendencies and attempt to hide this flaw from everyone as best you could...I knew of it, Shalltear knew of it, Sebas Tian knew of it-"

"Was Shalltear trying to unleash the monster within me?" I ask hollowly, Demiurge exhaling from his nose and closing his eyes. There's slight irritation this time when he replies. "Yes, and she was right to do so. The sooner it came out into the open, the sooner you accepted the burden, the sooner we could help you manage it. You resisted a full loss of control and embraced death more times than let the beast out. That's a commendable achievement if it didn't make you so stubborn."

"I'm sor-" I try to say but Demiurge holds up his hand to stop me, closing his eyes and smiling widely before opening them. He quickly changes back to his paler self, his body growing small and thinner until he shakes his head slightly from the disorientation. He quickly resumes his thoughts with a wide smile and a hint of amusement. "You have nothing to be sorry about. It's better if you let us decide if you've done something wrong. Just continue your education and follow the instructions of your mentors. That's how its always been, yes?"

I slowly nod my head and feel my body rotate upwards, my feet landing lightly on the ground as Cocytus turns away from me. He takes my right hand gently into his left and starts to guide me away silently, his other hand opening a gate as I keep step with him. Demiurge bids us both a sarcastic farewell for ruining his day plan and as we enter the gate, I feel myself fighting with the conflicting feelings of shame and hope.

_There's nothing to be sorry about...this is part of the training..._


	31. REDEMPTION

**CHAPTER X: REDEMPTION**

* * *

My mind is still troubled and confused when, as Cocytus and I enter his domain, someone seizes my neck and lifts me violently off the ground. I gasp from sudden surprise and sudden pain as I'm pulled in front of my assailant, the physical pain of their grip adding to my confusion. I recognize the face as I'm brought in front of them and panic starts to fill me at the sight.

"Roeray!?...how did you-" I start to say but the words die in my throat when I see the cruel smile form on her face. None of the warmth or familiarity from before is in that smile and I notice her other hand lift the Amulet of Unchanging around her neck. A brief flash of green light pulses from it and travels through her body, long hair changing from a plain brown to a dirty blonde. I watch in horror as dull brown scales cover one half of her body, further emphasizing the depths of her betrayal and subterfuge. My eyes widen at seeing the source of all my misery in front of me, her scaled left hand lifting me by the throat off the ground.

Cocytus is suddenly there, his weapons in his hands and swinging at her left arm to dislodge it from my throat. She casually sweeps out with her right arm, knocking him away with a loud smack of breaking chitin. I scream his name as he's sent flying into an ice wall, ice crumbling under his weight and momentum. His chitinous chest plating cracks, leaking gore and shards of his broken shell as he falls to the ground. Fear still takes hold of me at seeing him so easily bested and I turn back to my assailant, gazing into her mismatching eyes that mirrored my own.

**"I don't need him dead,"** Isnadra states in a cold, calculated tone that hinted at morbid curiosity. I try to struggle free but her strength is that of an adult to a child, her body perfectly still as I punch and kick at her to no avail. My left arm becomes a blade that I frantically thrust and slash at her but before each impact, her skins shift and hardens, easily deflecting each blow with minimal effort. She says with cold certainty as I continue to struggle, **"You've recovered fragments of my being as you're meant to and showed me a new way to reabsorb my power. All that's left is to absorb the parts that you possess."**

She begins to chant in a familiar dark tongue, the words calling magic that I remember Shalltear using on me in my nightmares. In a panic, my hands grab her left arm in an attempt to channel some of the magic away from me but her scales shift again, repelling the magic back. My body begins to sting and glow, crimson light painting the icy surroundings as if visualizing my pain. My senses dull and my strength fades even as I keep trying to dislodge myself, my strikes becoming less powerful and missing her completely with each passing moment. The strength leaves my body and my arms fall to my sides, the pain becoming all that I can feel.

She lets go of me suddenly and turns away, my body falling limply to the ground with a thud. I gasp in agony from being able to feel but quickly force myself to a stand, my vision blurry but still able to see what's happening. I hear her say to someone, **"Momongo. I anticipated that you would interfere but you won't stop me. I'm the stronger one now."**

**"You aren't yourself, Izy. This isn't like you," **I hear Lord Ainz reply, his voice pleading. At that moment, my hands go to my head as I scream in agony, memories that aren't my own forcing themselves to the front of my mind at this unwarranted trigger. Pain and betrayal paint the images but none of the memories are coherent enough to understand. I try to focus on something else but there's no escaping what I'm seeing.

**"Maximize magic! Inferno!" **I hear Lord Ainz shout, my blurred vision clearing momentarily as a swirling tornado of fire expands towards Isnadra. I shut my eyes to shield them from the brightness, focusing on the physical sensations around me to force out the mental assault. The soreness of my wounds, the soreness of my throat, the cold of the ground beneath me, and a host of other sensations slowly drive out the outside images, giving me enough coherence to regain bodily control. I snap open my eyes to see the inferno dissipate, the ground liquefying and evaporating into a fine mist from the intense heat. Isnadra stands in the same position unharmed, the ground beneath her feet unblemished by the fire. A dark smile creeps onto her face as she says coldly, **"You haven't changed. You're still baiting people with talk just to attack when their guard is down."**

I hear the clash of weapons before I see it, Isnadra locking her left arm blade against Lord Ainz's staff in an attempt to force it away. The blade on her arm is glowing with brilliant emerald energy and looks far more advanced to my inelegant designs. Lord Ainz holds his own, both of them locked in confrontation and unwilling to back down until Isnadra twirls her body over his head using her arm as an axis. She tries to break his guard from a different angle but Lord Ainz holds his guard, his staff pushing upwards and to the side to dislodge her.

Mesmerized by the titanic conflict taking place, I jump in surprise when someone picks me up off the ground and gathers me in their arms. I look up to see a heavily wounded Cocytus turning away from the combat and opening a gate to escape, saying to me in a pained voice, "This is...Lord Ainz's...fight...we must...get you to...safety..."

**"No," **Isnadra states from nearby but I can't see her from where I am. I try to look over Cocytus' shoulder but can barely move, my wounds from earlier still slowing me down. Whatever magic had been inflicted on my mind was also blocking my healing abilities, leaving me drained and disoriented. Instead, I hold onto Cocytus for dear life as he uses what little strength he has to escape.

Chitin sunders and dark blood sprays, the viscera splashing onto me as unbridled fear dumps into my mind. A bladed limb punches through his body from behind and I see Cocytus cough dark blood from his mandibles. Even with so much damage to his body and a blade through his torso, he continues to move forward with laboured steps, the blade of his assailant still lodged in his chest. He struggles against Isnadras strength as she tries to pull him back, Isnadra saying with cold certainty, **"I was wrong. You have to die."**

"Run!" I hear Cocytus shout as he tosses me towards the portal, my body sent tumbling along the icy ground until I come to rest near the gate. I turn back to see Isnadra rip the blade out of his chest, a large hole in his body as he falls forward with a hard crash of chitin. I scream in denial as Isnadra shows no mercy, punching her blade down into his the back of his head to puncture chitin and brain tissue before ripping it free in a shower of gore. Seeing Cocytus slain so brutally freezes me in place with despair, a flood of denial and anguish threatening to overwhelm me.

Isnadra extends a hand towards the gate, the portal of magic closing with a boom of discharge. She's already sprinting towards me with one arm extended to grasp when Lord Ainz appears out of nowhere, imposing himself between me and her while shouting another spell. Blades of light appear around us, swirling rapidly in a storm around us before turning towards Isnadra and storming towards her.

She doesn't slow at all, her skin shifting and deflecting the blades of light without effort. I hear the sound of metal on metal as the two supreme beings lock in melee combat again, Isnadra striking rapidly at Lord Ainz but Lord Ainz deflecting her blows with his staff. He commands me to run but in my shocked state, I foolishly watch the battle and remain horrified at what's happening. Isnadra lands a hard kick on Lord Ainz's head, the crack of bone audible over the clash of metal. Lord Ainz returns the blow with a hard blow to her stomach, both supreme beings reeling from the impacts. With maniacal laughter lacking all humour, Isnadra states groggily, **"I see. You aren't as helpless as I thought."**

**"Izy. I can't let you go on like this. I'm sorry," **he says reluctantly, his arms extending casually to his sides as he prepares his next move. Her reply is to laugh at his antics and retort, **"You would destroy this place to defeat me? That spell will kill the one you're protecting."**

**"Yes, but they can be revived. You will not be so lucky," **he says coldly, Isnadra storming forward as Lord Ainz calls upon his magic. Lord Ainz, however, stops casting midway through his spell and drops his arms, extending a single hand forward and calling upon a different spell entirely. A beam of dark energy bursts forward, catching Isnadra off guard and forcing her to dodge the attack by rolling to the right. Lord Ainz follows her with the beam of darkness but Isnadra finds her bearings and shifts her skin to deflect the magic, the beam melting more of the ice of the surroundings. As she stands still and allows the rays of darkness to spray off her, she comments with arrogance, **"This is pointless, Momongo. As soon as you run out of mana to cast spells, I'll win. You know this."**

**"I also know that your adaptive scales require mana to use. We'll both be without mana," **he retorts as he pulls something from his magical inventory. A massive bow appears in his hands that he immediately draws and fires at Isnadra, Isnadra rolling out of the way but not quickly enough to avoid a glancing blow from an enormous arrow of light. Isnadra rises from her roll missing her left arm, a cauterized stump where the arm had once been. To my horror, green magic flows from the stump of her arm and reforms back into the missing limb, the arm first forming a blade then becoming a hand.

**"If that's how you want to play it..." **Isnadra hisses, her hand reaching into a crimson box of her own and pulling out a two-handed pole-arm that's twice her size. Lord Ainz seems taken aback by the appearance of this weapon, his voice mirroring his surprise as he states, **"Guan Yu's Crescent Blade. I don't remember you investing in Yggdrasil."**

She charges forward and thrusts the weapon at Lord Ainz repeatedly, each strike multiplying into more strikes and each spin of the weapon projecting a wave of force towards its target. Lord Ainz struggles to keep the heavy blade from making contact with him but even with his skill, the blade slices his robes and skeletal body with glancing blows. At the rate he's losing ground, it would only be a matter of time before he was slain.

**_Call upon us_**

The voices are loud and intrusive, a multitude of growls and demands echoing painfully in my head without warning. I shut my eyes, not sure who the voices are but compelled to listen out of desperation. Images and language flow and dance behind my eyelids, forming coherent patterns instructing me what to do. At first, I think it's some kind of trick, another mental assault meant to misguide me but as I ponder the task, I see the sense of what I'm being told and reluctantly agree to proceed.

With the two supreme beings fighting heavily nearby, I form my left fingers into sharpened edges that I plunge into the flesh of my chest. With painful movements, I scrawl the first of the ancient symbol into my chest, blood flowing from my chest and onto my fingertips. A pulse of power projects from the symbol once it's complete and I sense a shift in the tension of the room, looking up to see both supreme beings turn towards me. Isnadra tries to storm past Lord Ainz to get to me but Lord Ainz imposes himself in her path, holding her attention while I work.

The battle slowly creeps towards me as Lord Ainz loses ground in my defence, my fingers deftly scrawling the second symbol. Another pulse of power harmonizes with the first symbol and the patterns on my body glow faintly with golden light. Magic summoned forth by the symbols courses through my body, a burning pain growing from having too much power within my flesh. Isnadra tells me to stop what I'm doing but I ignore her and the pain, intent of finishing the task and carving the last symbol into my flesh.

I hear her roar in anger, the first raw emotion she has shown since this conflict started. Lord Ainz is swatted aside with a heavy sweep of her weapon, the blow delivered with strength amplified by raw emotions and desperation. She tries to halt what I'm doing magically as she charges at me, casting spells to cripple or disable the magic. Each spell she casts is deflected off my body, greater magic of other entities shielding me from interference. She almost reaches me when I finish the last symbol on my chest, the symbols pulsing in unison and waiting for activation.

**"Yamato!" **I scream as I extend my arms outwards, the symbols exploding with radiance as they awaken at my call. A pressure wave expands outwards from my body, hurling Isnadra and Lord Ainz clear across the frozen room. They both tumble along the ground and come to rest on the ground as I'm lifted upwards magically, golden light flowing in rapid streams from my chest. My entire body burns from the magical build-up but I keep my arms extended and grit my teeth against the pain. All around me is noise and light, the bright light slowly forming into solid shapes that intimidate me with their mere presence.

The birthing roars of eight creatures echo in the room, an ancient being unmeant for this world summoned to this plane. I look around me slowly, seeing eight heads swirling passively around me. Each head pulses with power and projects their element of choice in their features, from roaring fire to solid stones. Each head is unified by species, all of them displaying the same set of horns, snout, and mane. They hiss and growl down at the two supreme beings staring up at us, my gaze moving downwards slowly to see both of them cautiously looking upwards.

**"This isn't happening! No one has been foolish enough to summon Yamato! Not even in Yggdrasil!" **Isnadra shouts up defiantly at the dragon swirling around me, her cold, calculating facade replaced with one of fear and desperation. Lord Ainz seems as disturbed by the development as she is, his staff returning to his hands as he faces us instead of Isnadra. Their titanic battle is forgotten in the face of a greater threat and it made me uneasy to think that I'm the one who brought it into being.

All of the heads turn to me in unison, closing their fanged mouths and growling lightly as if waiting for instructions. Words project into my head gently, asking what I wish of them in eight different voices. I look down at the two supreme beings staring up at us then look over at the still form of Cocytus, laying in a puddle of their blood. I consider asking the dragons to kill Isnadra, finally achieving my revenge for everything she has done to me. I consider asking the dragons to kill both of them, finally taking revenge for all the pain and misery I had been subjected to while in Nazarick. I even consider asking the dragon to destroy everything in Nazarick, finally removing the disease that's slowly corrupting the New World and giving it a chance to start again.

I choose none of these options.

"Help them..." I ask the dragons in a whisper, the dragons asking in my mind if that's truly what I wish. I nod slowly and reluctantly, confirming my wishes to them with calm resignation. I'm expecting pain and am not disappointed, fresh agony lancing through my body as the Yamato fulfils my wishes by using my body as a catalyst. I roar in agony, screwing my eyes shut from the pain as the eight dragons roar in unison with my pain. Even among the pain, I can sense a powerful build-up of magic around me, so powerful that it almost blocks out the pain entirely.

I force my eyes open to bear witness to what I asked for, one of the heads shifting forward and opening its mouth. The head with a regal mane of white projects a beam of white light from its maw, impacting Lord Ainz and Isnadra before they can move or defend. The beam sweeps over to Cocytus' corpse then back to the two beings before ceasing, the dragon closing its mouth and growling to itself contently. Nothing appears to happen to anyone and I start to wonder if I've been deceived when all of the dragons growl in contentment and start to fade away, leaving me floating in the air until the magic suspending me fails. My entire body hurts inside and out as I fall headfirst towards the ground from whatever height I'm at, all of my energy spent from the summoning and making me powerless to stop the coming impact. I start to wonder if what I asked for was the right thing to do or if I was being manipulated again, closing my eyes as I prepare for more pain.

My fall is halted suddenly and I slowly open my eyes, my vision blurry from exhaustion and pain but making out enough details to know who it is. Words are spoken to me in a familiar grating tone but I can barely hear them over the buzzing in my ears. I reach out with my left hand gently, placing it against hard, unblemished chitin no longer marred by the earlier carnage. I try to speak but find my tongue numb along with the rest of my body, my hand falling away from his shell as bone-deep exhaustion relaxes my muscles.

**"Why did you do that?" **I hear over the buzzing in my ears, my head turning very slowly to the right to see Isnadra standing nearby. I'm expecting hatred from her but all I see is pity and sadness, light tears forming in her eyes. I manage a partial smile, saying in a weak voice, "You made...me...promise...not to...let you...go back..."

**"All of his power is gone...and what's left is fragments...I doubt he will survive much longer..." **Lord Ainz interjects as he approaches slowly and stands next to Isnadra, his hands at his sides as he gazes down at me. My heart starts to beat erratically at the mention of my survival, the pain slowly rising to the surface. I look over at Isnadra, saying with as much seriousness as I can muster, "Take...what's left...of me...before I...fade..."

**"I...I can't...not like this...this is...I just can't..." **she replies with as her tears start to flow. I try to reach towards her and she meets me halfway, my right hand holding onto her scaled left. Both of us are trembling from two kinds of pain but I'm so accustomed to the pain that it doesn't frighten me as it once did. Another hand enters the grouping, this one glowing with white light. I look up to see one of the ghosts that used to haunt me in my nightmares but now, their presence granted me great relief. Though not entirely real, I feel their fingers grasp our two hands, the spectre saying in an ethereal voice, **"I'm right here, kiddo...I'm sorry I wasn't around when you needed me most..."**

"Dad..." I whisper sadly, words barely representing the shame I feel for what I've done to him. Even with all he had done to me and others, I couldn't bring myself to hate either of them. I close my eyes as my focus is lost completely, my voice whispering weakly, "You were right...I was the answer...and the gift you gave me freed us...at last..."

**"It's not over yet, kiddo. Life's one challenge after another and this is just the beginning. We'll see each other in time," **he reassures me while tightly clenching my hand, his hand releasing mine as he returns to where he needs to be. My breathing starts to hurt but I'm still able to chuckle lightly when I hear Lord Ainz start chanting the words that needed to be spoken. The pain blessedly fades as my strength fades with it, my face still smiling as I offer what little I can say.

"I...did it...I'm not...the monster...I feared..."


	32. PLATEAU

**CHAPTER XI: PLATEAU**

* * *

Being dead is something I'm accustomed to by now but instead of the darkness that usually pervades my mind, I wake up on my back staring at a clear blue sky. I sit up to survey my surroundings, a cliff-side overlooking an immense body of water extending to the horizon. From the noise, the water below is flowing against the base of the cliff, splashing against the rocks below. Something about the place seems familiar and I stand up to move to the cliff edge, leaning over carefully to see the sharp rocks below weathered by constant water exposure. I can't quite place where I am because my mind is still trying to cope with the present events, the recent battle and bloodshed still fresh.

My limbs feel unburdened and responding well. My hands slide along my body to get an extent of any new injuries, finding nothing new and silently appreciating the scars on my back. My left-hand moves into view, surprising me with its lack of scales or talons. I had become so accustomed to the scales that their disappearance made me uncomfortable.

Distant thunder booms and gets my attention, my head snapping in the direction of the sound. The horizon starts to blacken from storm clouds rolling in at an unnatural pace, the water below swirling and thrashing in response to the storm. Something big is moving in the water and headed my direction, something that displaces a massive amount of water with their bulk. The storm reaches me and bathes the surroundings in darkness, thunder and lightning shattering the darkness with noise and light at random intervals while the rain tries to maintain the horror. Water drenches me in sheets, my body shivering slightly from the weather without the scales to protect me.

A deep growling can be heard over the din of the storm, the source making itself known by slowly rising out of the water at the cliff's base. I look over the cliff's edge as a single mass breaks through the water, the mass splitting into eight separate masses. The heads of ancient beasts rise in a shower of displaced water and ascend above my position, each one towering over the cliff's peak and forcing me to look up at them. The storm frightens me as is always does but it finally occurs to me what the storm represents and despite the angry beasts growling at me ominously, I smile up at them with kindness.

"This is where you died...where Susa-no-O tricked you with kind offerings and cut you to pieces...but he couldn't unmake your essence despite being a fallen god...he took one of your tails as a weapon...as a final insult...trapping you to their will for all eternity..." I say up to the dragons, the storm clearing around me as the illusion is broken. The dragons, once visages of savagery and anger glowering down at me, become greatly calm and lower themselves to the cliff's edge to lay.

As they lay down slowly, I reach to my right and pull out my father's sword that he wielded in life. The blade darkens in my hands and is cold to the touch, emitting a cloud of shadow that flows off the edges. With my other hand, I summon the sheath to the blade and slide it into my belt, moving into a ritualistic pose by planting my right foot forward and swinging the blade outwards in front of me. I hold the blade theatrically before moving on, reversing the blade tip towards the sheath and bringing the two items into contact with each other. The blade is sheathed deliberately slowly as I say reverently, "I return the blade to its home in body and spirit."

The blade emits a loud ring of metal as it sheaths, my left hand removing the sheath and twirling the sheath into my upward palms as I move to my knees. I lower my head and offer the sword towards the dragons, saying slowly and deliberately, "You are free of my bloodline and can choose your destiny."

I can feel the breath of one of the dragon's heads on my body, the sound of it growling becoming louder. Though I remain formal, I smile inwardly at the realization that the sound of them growling is just how they breath, a sound that once terrified me coming into focus. I look up at the dragon as they take the sword in its jaws, moving to a stand and venturing to the cliff's edge to follow their slow path back into the water. A tail, as regal as the heads, displaces the water and rises towards the head holding the sword. Even from such a height, I can see that the tail is stunted and malformed. A gentle motion places the sword on the stunted tail's tip, the sheath shattering and reforming into what it once was. The other seven tails displace the water, rising to the same height so that all eight tails are waving gently in unison.

The world around me starts to crumble away silently as the dragon moves back into the waters below, the last of its magic released from its shackles. I force myself to watch in silence as the world falls apart. There's a feeling of sadness and a feeling of fear as each shard of false reality falls away but I force myself to accept it and prepare for death. _I have to face this death alone and it terrifies me...but I will face it..._

"It's not your time," a familiar voice says, a hand taking my right hand and holding it tightly. The broken shards of the world stop mid-flight and surge back into their original positions, snapping back into place and shaping into a new landscape. A single instance is all it takes to create the grove we destroyed back in Irlo, remade in my mind to what it should have been. Butterflies sprout up from the fields of flowers, flying about lazily in the light breeze produced by a single tree. I start to take a step forward into the serene grove but am pulled back to my original position, the same voice from earlier saying to me cautiously, "If you go in there, you won't come back out. You'll die and there won't be a way to bring you back."

"Yamato freed them...my father, my mother, Lord Ainz...I even saved my uncle from death...why are you here? You're supposed to be free..." I whisper while staring at the garden with new eyes. I feel the hand holding mine let go but I don't let go, closing my hand tightly around theirs and repeating my question more forcefully. Anger starts to build as I fall into outrage, ranting at the figure beside me without looking at them, "Why did you stay!? They can't bring me back from that dark ritual now that Yamato is released! Isnadra already consumed my remaining essence! Why are you here!?"

"Because I'm a fragment as well..." the voice replies sadly, my head snapping to the right for the first time. Doris is staring at me with tears in her eyes, her face expressing anguish that I could feel personally. She appears in the form of an elf maiden, her grey mane of hair flowing around her frame to make her look larger. She looks surprisingly frail and thin but before I can try to deny her words or defy, she tells me quickly, "Isnadra consumed me first before she came after you...that's how she knew how to use the spell...she had to test it first-"

"No...no, no, no, why would she do that!?" I shout as I start to feel despair. Doris tries to move into the grove again but I turn to her and hug her tightly. I try my best not to break down into tears but fail, language failing me as I whisper, "I'll find a way...I'll find a way! I won't let this happen!"

"It has to happen for you to live," Doris explains sadly, her hands grabbing an arm and a leg to pick me up bodily and throw me away from the grove. I scream in denial as she becomes more and more distant, stretching out with my senses for some means to stop my flight. My sense of hearing and smell are dulled, the world around me feeling hollow and silent. I reach into my belt with my right hand and pull out a device, hearing it click as I aim and pull the trigger deftly. A loud bang rings out around me, propelling a claw with a line out at high speed to arrest my momentum sharply. The metal claw embeds in the ground and the reversal of force pulls my right arm out of its socket but I hold onto the device with both hands regardless of the pain, letting it pull me as quickly as the mechanism can pull. Doris stops in her tracks and extends a hand towards the way inside, green energy flowing across her hand and condensing into elvish symbols that float in the air.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I shout as I almost reach the grove, the line severing as a barrier of emerald light cuts the rope and blocks my path. I brace my arms in front of me but the magic easily resists the impact of my collision, arresting my forward movement and dropping me to the ground suddenly. I scramble to my feet, my right arm pounding in pain as I pull another item from my belt with my left hand. We make eye contact, both of us feeling similar anguish as I scream to Doris, "Don't do this! Don't make this choice for me!"

I roar in anguish as I punch the shield, the charged metal spikes of the disrupter knuckles slamming into the shield but not penetrating. I start punching in a frenzy but as I try to produce enough damage to pass through, the cracks repair themselves faster than I can break them. My arm keeps moving until the charge on the item is spent, my voice pained and screaming in denial as I punch the barrier with an unpowered item.

"Only one of us can make it out...and I choose-" she tries to say but I stop her before she can finish, slamming both hands against the barrier as I scream at her, "No! Just** stop**! I'm tired of letting things happen around me! I'm tired of having no control over the horror! I'm not letting this happen! I'm **never** letting this happen!"

I feel my chest tingling, taking a few steps back while inhaling as much mana from the air as I can. Doris tells me not to but I exhale with as much force as I can, lightning spearing outwards and smashing into the barrier with a blinding flash of magic. The pain of using normal lungs to do what I've done is immense but I charge into the opening in the barrier without hesitation. Something snags my right ankle as I pass through and sharp pain cuts through the flesh and bone, my body falling into the grove in a crumpled heap.

My burnt lungs make any breath painful but I drag myself forward in desperation, Doris running towards me with fear and concern. I reach up to her but she flips me onto my back, propping me into a sitting position while touching my chest with her right hand. Magic flows not just from her but the surroundings as well, healing my wounds and informing me of my missing foot being reformed. The physical pain leaves but the anger fades away to be replaced with a deep sadness.

"Don't leave me again! I need you still! Please! Please don't ask me to go away!" I cry as I break down into sobs. Gentle hands brush against my back and chest as she embraces me in silence, my cries becoming more desperate and uncontrolled. With little reason to hide, I shout between sobs, "I lost you once and couldn't find you! It took me years to get over the pain! I'm...I'm still scarred from that...I can't...I won't trade your life for mine..."

"Others still need you as you need me. They're hurt as much as I've done to you. I won't leave them like that...even if I want to spare you pain," she whispers sadly but before she can move, I spin around in her embrace and hug her, letting out more sobs as I embrace her desperately. She returns my hug with equal sadness because we both realize its too late. The world around us is already breaking apart and I could feel her presence fading away already. I gasp in deep breaths to calm myself, saying rapidly as the world falls apart, "I promise I'll find a way to bring you back. I promise! I'll find a way, Doris!"

"You saw the real me and accepted me...I will always love you for that..." she whispers in a fading voice, my arms finally passing through her form because her presence becomes too thin to hold. I move to a stand and scan around the breaking grove, calling out her name fervently even as the world falls apart.

Then I sink to my knees in defeat, screaming uncontrollably into the sky and begging the nightmare to end.

* * *

It's the first time I wake up screaming and in tears, the pain from my dreams following me into the waking world. My arms and legs strain against bindings that hold them, tree branches and vines tearing away violently as I try to find solid ground. I land awkwardly on all fours onto soft earth, multiple voices giggling and gasping in surprise. Some are joyful for my wakefulness, some are fearful for my outburst, and some are excited about my strength. I slowly lift myself off the grass and glance around, fairies hovering around me in fear and apprehension while some of them swarm off to other parts of this place.

I reach up and touch my face, smooth skin removing tears from smooth skin. Dull brown scales coat the face of my left hand so I start feeling across my body silently, noting the scales present across the face of my other hand, the top of my right arm, the entirety of my back, the outer edges of my face, and the front of my legs. I numbly rise to my feet, not sure of what to do but feeling the need to do something. I walk away from the tree I just escaped down some hill, careful not to trample any of the plant-life to reach a pool of water below. One look into the clear waters confirms my fears, a reflection with two yellow orbs framed by a brown mane of hair staring back at me. I bring my left hand into view of the water, turning it over as if seeing another show me their deformities. At a thought, the fingertips change into sharp talons that slide against each other with the sound of grinding stones. Another thought retracts them so I can reach down and dip my hand into the water to drink.

"I'm...I'm so...sorry..." I hear Demiurge say from my right, my drinking ceasing as I rise and turn towards him slowly. He looks the same but can't seem to look at me, opting to stare at the pool of water instead. My head nods once to him and I say slowly and sadly, "Doris was my fragment...and I'm just a construct...so I can't remake her...neither can Isnadra remake her...is there anything I can do?"

Demiurge takes long moments of silent contemplation before he answers, my body turning to the water to share a moment of pain. He tells me in a whispered voice, "You brought something back with you from your dream. What did you bring back?"

I show him what I brought back, lifting it from my belt with my right hand and balling my fist around it. Once my hand is in his view, the fingers slowly open to show him what I have. One glance is all it takes to make him turn away, a gate opening nearby that he leaves through in silence.

I watch him go, closing my hand around the silver ring to keep it safe.


	33. SUFFERING

**CHAPTER XII: SUFFERING**

* * *

"I feel your presence...you don't have to hide," I say sombrely, placing the silver ring back into my belt pouch as the presence rises from the flowers and stands where Demiurge once stood. They don't say anything and I understand why, sharing a silent moment of reflection with them instead of forcing a conversation. There's much to talk about but I'm in no hurry to talk about anything. I reach with my right hand, awkwardly finding a left elbow covered in scales then sliding my hand along the scales until I find a hand. When I hold the hand and the gesture isn't returned, I let go sadly only to have the hand snatched back. I look over at Isnadra and see tears on her face as she whispers, "I ruined you...ruined your life...so...what are we now...what can we be that-"

"That wasn't your fault," I interrupt, pulling out something from my belt that the dragon had given me before it departed. I hold it between us in my left hand, showing her a green gem the size of orange glowing with corrupted yellow light. I tell her calmly as I feel unease from the sight of the item, "Yamato pulled the magic you consumed from this land out of you to prevent further corruption. They gave me this purging stone to hold it-"

Isnadra reaches over with her right hand and crushes the stone without effort. I smile forms on my face as the energy is released violently back into the wild, swirling in a small vortex around my hand before flying out of the cave in the form of a flock of birds. I wait for Isnadra to let go of the shards of stone before tilting my left hand slightly, allowing the shards to drop into the pool with light splashes.

"Funny. That's exactly what I wanted to do," I say as I stare back into the pool, Isnadra giving me a light chuckle and joining in my casual observation. My body takes a few steps to the right so that we're shoulder to shoulder and now that we're up close, I snort at being a head shorter than she is. I say to her sarcastically, "You're taller and more feral than I remember. Did you get tired of being a fairy?"

"Did you finally get over your idea that humans are the greatest thing since adulthood?" she snaps back playfully, a brief chuckle escaping us both. But my good mood drops slightly and I hold her hand tighter, sharing another silent moment until saying with certainty, "We'll figure this out-"

"There you go again thinking you're the planner," she replies in good humour, my eyes rolling but my head nodding in acceptance of her words. She turns to me suddenly and I pre-empt her movements by doing the same. It feels like dancing having our movements in sync on multiple levels, my hands automatically holding both her hands as we finally meet face to face. Or rather, face to the chest because I'm forced to look up to meet her face.

Every time I saw that face in the past, it brought feelings of anger and outrage. Now, with insight and knowledge, all I see is a face with mismatching yellow and green eyes and scales coating half their skin. She asks me with nervousness and fear, "Do you...still...I don't know...feel...the same way as..."

I let go of her hands and sigh in frustration, lightly holding her face and pulling her into a kiss. She tenses slightly as I take the initiative and test what I can get away with, something that feels entirely new to me since I'm the first to slide my tongue into her mouth. She doesn't push back and simply replies, returning the kiss and not taking command of the moment. I exhale lightly after a fair amount of affection, Isnadra doing the same as we go back to staring at each other awkwardly. She tries to say something but can't quite manage it, my attempts at speaking just as blunt and ineffective.

One of the fairies among the group floating around us reports to Isnadra that she has visitors to the shrine. In unison and without breaking eye contact, we tell them to have the visitor come back later, the fairy dutifully obeying with their typical joy and excitement. She quickly gestures with her right hand to the fairies around us, making complex patterns and gestures that they obey in high-speed clouds of light and movement.

"I come back from losing a loved one and you're trying to get me into bed already?" I whisper in reply to her gesturing, Isnadra freezing in her gesturing with a look of embarrassed shock. I nod my head once but gesture with my head for her to continue, saying in elvish as she resumes, "I understand elvish, remember? That includes elvish hand signs."

One of the fairies shouts that the guests don't want to wait and are burning their way into the chamber. Our embrace ends and both of us take a similar combat stance, left arm drawn back to strike while the right arm is in front to defend. I feel a pulse of energy from the centre of my chest, exhaling in excitement at the feeling of electricity coursing through me and collecting on my scales. Isnadra tells the fairies in elvish to let them in, the growth of dense plant life blocking the entrance opening outwards to allow the intruders inside.

At least thirty beings of all shapes and sizes enter the chamber. Each one wore a different set of armour composed of a variety of materials. Staffs, swords, spears, maces, hammers, shields, and a host of other weapons form a forest of defiance aimed at us. The intruders, upon seeing us, silently break into teams as they enter, all present wary of each other and prepared to face us as a clear threat. What draws my attention the most is the polished plates they wear on various parts of their bodies, ranging from dull orange to bright white.

"So the adventurer's guild wants this place for their own?" I whisper to Isnadra, my eyes taking a quick enough glance over to her to see her nod. She taps the front of my chest twice with her left hand, whispering back, "You know how to use that thing? I mean...really use it?"

I nod and cross my arms over my chest, exhaling as I call upon the magic of my third lung. More and more electrical charge flows through me but as I build up a charge, I exhale ruefully and stop my progress when I notice most of it going into the ground under my feet. I draw my knife from my right hip sheath, focusing a charge into it to make it glow and spark. As I move back into a combat stance with the knife pointed towards the enemy, I whisper ruefully, "I need shoes to hold a charge..."

Their leader, a platinum-ranked adventurer with a crested white helm and white armour, signals his group forward with a gesture of his mace. He trots forward with his shield in front, his band of warriors in plate armour marching alongside him brandishing their two-handed weapons and their large shields. The other groups move to respective positions in the cavern, bracing bows or preparing magic to engage us at a decent range. The tactics feel incredibly blunt but against typical foes, this level of tactics is sufficient. An idea strikes as combat approaches, a new and profound event that makes me smile like a madman. I sheath my dagger and place my left hand across my chest, turning to Isnadra and offering my right hand theatrically. She seems confused until I say with just as much ceremony, "Madam? May I have this dance?"

"Yes, you may! Voices of Spring Waltz, if you would!" she replies excitedly, taking my offered right hand and extending it outwards. Our opposite hands lightly move to upper backs as gentle music fills the cavern, the beautiful and ominous melody projected by the fairies around us. We slowly move into the swaying rhythm and slow spinning movement even as the warriors reach us, their intent plain as they ready their weapons to strike.

I let my third lung release its charge into my flesh, feeling the magical energy course through us as Isnadra does the same to me with her organ. Her level of control is superior to mine so she manages the charge of both of us, a powerful electrical field building up around us. Our dance remains calm and unhurried as bolts of electricity start to lash out from our flesh at the adventurers. Most of the adventurers that are too close are either hurled away or felled by electrical discharge, those sent flying impacting walls with titanic force.

Some of the warriors continue their attack, evading the worst of the storm and even attempting to land weapon attacks. However, plate mail and weapons blessed to resist magic crumple under the kiss of the heart of the storm, dragon lightning flaring across our skin and striking out with bestial howls. The flesh and metal fuse to become a charred ruin and the most stubborn champions either fall back or fall to the ground in agony. Those at range launch a curtain of magical and physical projectiles to cover them. A magnetic field springs up around us to repel most of the physical projectiles and some of the magical ones. The projectiles that make contact are easily absorbed by scales, magic arrows and bolts of power adding their magic to the storm. Extra volatility is redirected back in exotic ways, each way ending more and more lives.

"You stepped on some of the flowers..." Isnadra whispers lightly, my face embarrassed as I whisper a quick apology. She smiles as we continue our dance up towards the central tree even as men and women die with agonized screams around us. We didn't even care if we got them all and simply waltzed over the corpses, content with projecting waves of destruction around us to kill our foes. One or two adventurer's retreat cautiously as their allies start to fall and we let them go, the remainder finding sense and giving up similarly.

The electrical field around us diminishes incredibly slowly, giving the adventurer's enough ground to reclaim what bodies they can but not enough to offer an opening to attack. Their retreat is organized by a mage, a woman who keeps control of the situation but wishes to leave no one behind. With no resistance left from us, they make a clean escape and the fairies start cleaning up the debris and battle damage of the chamber. Their song finishes and devolves back into the background hum of chatter as they work. I allow my third lung to relax and still, preventing further release of magic to dissipate the field completely.

"How long have I been out?" I ask as we dance in silence, Isnadra giving me a rough estimate of a few weeks. I ask her how many attacks had occurred before now, the number something around four attacks of varying strength including this one. It made me disappointed that some of them are platinum ranks and it angered me that such high ranks would bring lower ranks to such a dangerous task. _Weren't their rules against that? What has happened to the guild's quality?_

"How much do you...remember?" Isnadra asks cautiously as if afraid of the question. It's a question I knew she'd ask eventually so I keep up our dance, not breaking eye contact as I reply, "I remember how I was born. You and Thamus merged New World magic with that of Yggdrassil and neither of you thought it would work. Neither of you was prepared for what came out, an unstable infant born of two worlds-"

"You can read your code history..." she replies with unease, my face smiling sadly as I nod my head. We reach the great tree in the centre of the grove and I stop our dance there, keeping us close but not bringing us closer. I answer her unspoken question, saying in a sad tone, "I'm not a guardian nor a supreme one. I'm some sort of abomination of both mixed with magic from two worlds...it took me a bit to calibrate my psyche after death...I'm surprised I didn't explode, implode, or some other horrible fate-"

She brings me into a closer embrace, my arms reflexively moving around her as she hugs me tightly. I can hear her breath heaving slightly as she tries to control her rising anguish but I tell her to let it out, wiggling my toes and not too surprised that I'm no longer on my feet. I remain silent as her sobs fill the cavern, my eyes closing as I rub her unkempt hair with my right hand.

"I was lost...I was unwise...I did what I felt like doing...I...I never thought it would hurt someone so deeply...I...I feel terrible..." she says between sobs but I remain silent, letting her vent the sad thoughts in her mind. However, her thoughts jar some of my dormant memories and I calmly let her know what else I remember. "There was no way you would have known that Thamus would abandon you...he's a ronin, a swordsman without a master... it makes sense that he wouldn't stay in one place...but we have to deal with his children that he-"

"Children!? He has other families!?" she shouts at me furiously, her arms breaking my embrace and pushing me back so she can glower at me. I land deftly and give her a reluctant nod as she turns away in disgust, my thoughts tumbling out of my mouth now that I can speak them. "Though the memories aren't truly there, I still remember rough traces of what Thamus remembers. He's travelled all over the New World in the centuries-"

"Centuries!? That lying, backstabbing, polygamous bastard!" she shouts more at my father than at me. Hearing her talk of polygamy triggers my anger as well and I clench my fists as something finally clicks inside my head. I look away from her and stare at the great tree, hissing out, "It wasn't the dragon's influence...it was my father's influence that made me the way I was...and he didn't even tell me in the end..."

Anger flares and I lunge forward, punching the tree casually in frustration. I make sure not to damage anything with my aggression, another new and alien thought to handling aggression. The alien reaction brings a smile to my face as I exhale lightly and return to smiling, turning back around and catching the tail end of Isnadra's ranting. I calmly say to her, "That's in the past now...sort of. He's dead and I've been remade in your image this time. We can deal with his legacy as we progress."

"He shouldn't have a legacy! None of us should! Our worlds aren't meant to coexist but _every_ supreme one that comes to this land thinks the opposite! I'm so tired of being on the moral high ground!" she rants at me, my head nodding since only a few could understand what she means. I let her have her space as she walks away, leaving me alone in the cavern. Or so I think until she half turns and snaps at me to follow her.

I keep smiling as I rush to obey, my new master angrily leaving a path for me to walk.


	34. RUE

**CHAPTER XIII: RUE**

* * *

I enter Cocytus' domain in a grim mood, Cocytus sitting silently at an empty wooden table. No candles are lit despite being ready to produce light, the room bathed in a gloom that made it feel far less lively. He doesn't look at me as I approach, his mind lost in his thoughts like never before. Lower limbs pour a generous portion of sake into the porcelain cup in front of him, a second cup filled and placed at the other end of the table. I gently sit in front of the table and take the cup in both hands, raising it to my mouth and consuming the contents slowly.

"You don't normally drink, uncle," I whisper to him after finishing the beverage, Cocytus exhaling mist with a growl of frustration. His breathing is the only sound he makes for long moments, the only sound in the room at all. My hands place the cup back on the table so he can refill it again, his right hand lifting his poured cup to drink his helping of sake. As he refills my cup again, he says to me once he finishes his drink, "I don't drink...but this is a time of mourning and sorrow...it seems fitting..."

The tension in the room is palpable. We both drink another helping of sake to try and get rid of the tension. I try to distract myself by appreciating the quality of the sake, noting the superb level of milling for the rice and the pure-rice style of sake. I try to remember the first time I ever drank with Cocytus, something I appreciated after having so many exotic drinks with other guardians. The memory arrives but fades quickly and we both place our cups on the table. No more sake is poured into either cup.

I reach in front of me slowly with both hands, summoning a magical box of bright yellow into being. A massive sword of ancient design enters my hands that I gently place it on the table, making sure not to break the table or anything on it. My hands are trembling slightly while setting down the blade between us. Cocytus slowly reaches forward with his left hand, the large hand touching the sword displaying a similar shaking.

"So you know already..." he hisses with regret, his hand resting on the sword but still shaking slightly. My head slowly nods as I look down at the sword I just placed. The blade is a katana of extreme size, the edge curving grandly and projecting an aura of craftsmanship and power that I couldn't comprehend. The function of the blade is pushed to the limits, the aesthetic and beauty secondary to the utility that each edge could provide.

I know the history of this sword by heart because Cocytus had told me of it during my lessons with him. It bore the name of the one who wielded it only because they couldn't bring themself to name it anything else. The one that created the weapon was a master of smithing, not creativity, yet the sword is a simple yet devastating instrument. Countless battles and duels had been won by this sword and the one who wielded it.

My right-hand touches the blade, the blade large enough to fit both of our hands touching its edge. My hands won't stop shaking despite how much I want them to stop and there's no way that Cocytus doesn't notice. He doesn't comment and neither do I, both of us staring at the blade in silent contemplation.

Takemikazuchi Mark 8. My father's sword.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me who Thamus was?" I whisper sadly as I feel the passive energy emanating from the sword. It only made me feel worse because I recognize the power, the energy flowing from the sword easily syncing with mine. Cocytus replies with a slow exhale of cold mist and takes much time to form a response. When he does, his voice is low and certain. "I couldn't tell you. To simply tell you what you want to know is not the Bushido way. You had to earnestly seek the answers, not by others will but by your own. Only then could you come to terms with reality."

"I killed him...you must know that by now..." I whisper with tears starting to run down my face, my anguish coming to the fore now that everything was being exposed. My hand won't stop shaking and Cocytus moves his hand over mine, my hand small in comparison to his. The anguish only grows with the simple gesture, my voice becoming a desperate plea. "I killed your master...my father...and I didn't even know it was him until it was too late..."

"Nothing you do will undo that. But your mother lives and your father can be brought back. For now, he has other tasks to accomplish," Cocytus grates with conviction but his words do little to ease my suffering. Though I know that he's right and that everything could be fixed in time, it still didn't absolve me from what I'd already done. We sit there in silence for long moments, my tears flowing freely down my face as I try to keep control of myself. I fail to even control the shaking of my hands from travelling up my arm, my anguish becoming low sobs of sorrow.

"His form was corrupted and you defended yourself against that corruption. You saved him from a life of dishonour by freeing him for resurrection. You should be proud of this," Cocytus grates but I snap back at him in my sorrow, shouting at him through tears, "I killed my father! I consumed his soul! I know what you're saying is true but it doesn't change anything! I still betrayed my family!"

**"No, you didn't,"** a voice interjects from nearby, the voice noble and sure. Both of us turn to see a ghostly figure of pale yellow light approach the table, the figure reaching us and slowly sitting down with a light thud. Even in this form, the dark red of their samurai armour is apparent over the faded glow. Uneven horns resembling a crescent moon thrust from their skull helmet defiantly. My breath catches in my throat at the sight of the dead come back to life but before I can grasp anything or say anything, the figure pours himself a helping of sake into a cup he produces from the air. He drinks it swiftly through the mouth of his helmet, exhaling heavily as he says slowly, **"Old friend. I wish we were reunited in better times than this."**

"That you are here at all is enough, master," Cocytus grates humbly, his head bowing slightly in a show of respect. I do the same out of habit as two gateways open nearby, two new figures arriving at this secret meeting. Lord Ainz doesn't sit, his form approaching to stand grandly over everyone present. Isnadra approaches and sits at the table, her right-hand snatching the bottle of sake so she can down what's left inside. She slams the bottle onto the table, cracking it slightly as she says in an angry tone to Takemikazuchi, **"You have so much to explain but I need to know. Did you plan any of this?"**

**"No. We both know how the magic of the New World can corrupt those of Yggdrasil by now," **he explains with conviction, Lord Ainz nodding as all eyes turn to him. Lord Ainz doesn't hesitate, replying to the claim with, **"Demiurge finalized the report today. New World magic has long term effects on the minds of those from Yggdrassil. From what we've observed, those afflicted show heightened aggression and psychopathic tendencies. We have begun treatment of those among the Great Tomb of Nazarick but it will take time."**

**"We tried to play god and had no idea what would happen," **Takemikazuchi replies, an angry breath escaping his helm as he crosses his arms. Isnadra laughs harshly at his words and no one else joins in, the laugh a singular sound among the silence. She gloats to him in a harsh tone, **"Playing god!? Is that what you think we did!? Is that what Beric is to you!? Us playing god!?"****  
**

**"ENOUGH!" **I shout with a voice not entirely my own, the room rumbling with the force of my outburst. All eyes turn on me in the silence, Cocytus and Takemikazuchi giving me slight nods of silent respect. Lord Ainz shows me neutrality and Isnadra shows me her anger from being interrupted. I try to control my rising anger at the pettiness of this conversation, my voice failing to hide anything. "Enough. The past has already happened and nothing we do here can change that. We can rant and rave at each other but nothing will change. We must fix the now and move forward. _That_ is what matters."

"You have grown much, young one. That is not the same Beric I have come to know who speaks," Cocytus adds confidently, Takemikazuchi nodding to himself. Isnadra isn't convinced by my words and stares at me harshly, her index finger pointing at us as she yells at me, "After all you've told me and after all we've discussed already, you still believe he deserves to...to what? To be brought back? So he can do all of this all over again?"

**"I will remain dead. That is my penance,"** Takemikazuchi explains, Lord Ainz and Isnadra turning to him in surprise. He looks among the group quickly and continues his thoughts forcefully, looking at each of us in turn as he speaks. **"Izy...I always loved you no matter what you did...Momongo...you're the friend I always needed and will remain so...Cocytus...the title of master passes to you...and my son...Beric...know that I failed you and that I love you...never forget this...all of you..."**

**"Don't you dare!" **Isnadra shouts at him, her body leaping over the table to grasp at him but everyone present knows it's already too late. The magic around him was already bleeding away and the light of his ghostly form starts to spread out and dissipate. Isnadra grasps at the energy desperately as if trying to knit it back together but her efforts are in vain, the energy slowly disappearing until there's nothing left. She stands there for a moment in shocked silence before rounding on Lord Ainz angrily and shouting at him, **"Bring him back! You bring him back right now!"**

**"His soul could barely handle this minor summoning," **Lord Ainz replies but Isnadra moves around the table and lifts Lord Ainz by his robes, her hands shaking him violently in the air as she keeps ranting for him to bring him back. Lord Ainz says nothing as Cocytus and I sit in silence, both of us listening to Isnadra rant at Lord Ainz until she slowly devolves into tearful pleas. I hear Lord Ainz being returned to the ground and when I look over, Lord Ainz holds her in a skeletal embrace as she loses self-control. I can't bear to listen to her loud sobs so Cocytus and I rise from our seats and bow to each other from the waist, our faces grim as we go our separate ways for now.

Neither of us picks up the sword on the table. It didn't belong to either of us.

* * *

I needed to be alone for a while so I chose to go to the Arena and contemplate everything I know. I'm able to access the functions of the death pit thanks to my father's access codes but I don't feel like indulging in combat. Instead, I simply lay down on my back in the sand, staring up at the open sky with its lazy clouds floating by. Every so often, a flock of birds flies overhead and I distract myself by trying to understand what type of birds they are. I don't succeed because birdwatching was an uncommon practice in Nazarick.

The moment doesn't last because magic breaches the air, an angry exhale escaping me at being interrupted in my brooding. I throw myself up from the ground and round on the new gate but as I watch the portal of magic float idly nearby, no one appears from the depths. I keep myself calm and cautious, blinking a few times to enable the proper overlays of information. The portal was going to expire soon yet whoever opened it is taking their time to arrive.

Something breaches the magic abyss and I throw my hands in front of me, barely holding onto the lance aimed at my heart as it drives me back along the sands. Shalltear follows quickly behind the lance, her face smiling maniacally as she propels herself and me into a nearby wall. The wall shatters under the force and my body is driven through several stone walls before coming to rest against a thicker wall. I use all of my strength to prevent her lance from piercing my heart, surprised that is hasn't already until the tip sunders the top layer of my skin with its unholy magic.

"You're stronger. I could feel your energy as soon as you woke up. I'm not missing my chance to see which of us is better at fighting," she says with glee but I groan in irritation to her words, a frown forming on her face from my angry reply. I'm able to push back the lance and redirect it to my right, the magical field hissing against my scales as I let her momentum carry her past me. I dash back out onto the sands and feel her presence pursue me into the open, my body turning and sliding along the ground as she stands idly a few paces away. Shalltear is wearing her full armour and points her lance at me, saying with amusement, "Running won't do you any good. Do you think you can escape me here of all places?"

"I just wanted to be left alone. A lot has happened in a short span," I reply calmly but she charges at me with great speed as I speak. Her lance strikes again and again but now, her advantage of stealth is lost. My full attention is on evasion and defence, the blows that hit absorbed by my scales and whatever is left hitting the air. I start to measure the range of her weapon and how far she lunges to strike, eventually finding the exact range I need to be to stay out of her melee kill zone. She laughs as I dodge and block her blows, saying to me through her amusement, "Is this what you have to offer? Evasion? I'm sorely disappointed."

Anger flares and I let the anger come, focusing it into a sharp point. My right-hand rises, stopping her lance thrust by lodging the point into my open palm. I ignore the pain and blood, holding the weapon fast as Shalltear uses both of her hands to try and pull the weapon free by the pommel. I use both of my hands to hold the weapon in place, my rage in full flow as I shout at her, "Is that all I am!? A source of power to be tossed around!? Some form of amusement!? My entire life has been one abuser after another!"

I use my other hand to grab onto the lance shaft, a swift forward motion sending the lance out of my hand and away from me. Shalltear is unbalanced by the sudden force applied to her weapon but I have little time to speculate, my open palms slapping together as I summon the new power awakened within me. I bring my hands apart slowly, waves of emerald light producing what I need in a flash of power. A large curved sword of emerald gemstone forges between my hands and I grasp the hilt of the sword in both hands, bringing the blade upwards then pointing the tip at Shalltear. She replies with an eager laugh, saying in a mocking tone as she points her lance at me, "The Terra Blade. I see being dead has brought you new toys to play with."

I swing the sword horizontally, sending a mirror image of the sword outwards as a green bolt of energy. She leans herself slightly to the right to avoid the attack, the energy blade impacted a nearby wall and dissipating. I keep swinging the sword in a rabid frenzy, sending multiple swords of energy at her from in a storm of light. Instead of evading, she stands still and raises her left hand towards me. A crimson shield forms around her, deflecting the bolts of energy in random directions as they impact. She starts to walk slowly towards me, her shield still deflecting bolts of energy as I cease swinging and point the tip of the sword at her.

Both of us charge at one another, meeting together in a clash of enchanted metal. Her weapon relies on thrusting and bashing to attack, lancing forward to pierce and swinging wide to slam. My weapon thrusts and slashes but is durable enough and wide enough to block her strikes. The dance of duelling commences as each of us strikes and dodges, each blow aimed for vital areas but none of the blows hitting anything. She's smiling the whole while, enjoying the rush of combat in a way I haven't seen from her.

I thrust my sword forward and she matches the blow, the tip of her lance meeting the tip of my sword as we both become locked in place. It takes all of my strength to hold her weapon back and judging from the sweat on her brow, she's using more strength then she usually does. Through her exertion, she says to me in a strained voice, "Good. Let the anger out. It's unhealthy to keep it pent up. I should know."

"Is this for me or you?" I hiss as I push against her weapon, Shalltear grunting as she pushes back from the sudden force. We both start straining from the extra exertion but both stubbornly hold our weapons in place. She hisses back at me through her smile, "Always thinking about everyone but yourself. When are you going to accept your importance? You aren't as-"

Something snaps. My face becomes a mask of anger as I let go of my sword and rush past her thrusting weapon, the field of energy hissing against my scales. I punch at her with my right fist but she also drops her weapon and deflects the fist aimed at her face with her right forearm. The duel quickly becomes a brawl as we exchange weapon strikes for punches and kicks, both of us hammering blows at each other. I start screaming at her, "I'm not important! I'm just a creation! A fake! I can be replaced just like anyone else!"

Shalltear loses her calm as well, her face becoming neutral as her right fist lashes out. The blow gets past my guard and slams into my jaw but I recover quickly from the unexpected blow. She doesn't relent, her blows taking on a new frenzy as she starts to press her advantage. Blow after blow gets past my guard, battering my face and chest with brutal force. Shalltear grabs my head and brings her armoured knee into my face, my body reeling from the impact and landing on the ground in a heap. She says down at me in a calm voice, "I used to think as you did. I once thought that we were just tools. Lord Ainz showed me otherwise and he showed you too. You just refuse to see it. Why?"

I don't reply to her question, a feral growl escaping me as I let the beast take hold.


End file.
